WELCOME TO ALAAJF: Rewritten!
Jaykit's POV
"Jaykit!"
Happiness surged through Jaykit as he heard Firestar call his name; he was finally going to become an apprentice!
Jaykit took a hesitant step forward and looked up. Firestar's expression was unreadable.
Jaykit cringed and wondered if Firestar was debating on whether he made the right choice in making him a warrior apprentice after he almost blinded himself by scraping both his eyes while falling through a bramble patch. I was running from a fox! And besides, my eyes are perfectly healed now! Jaykit defended himself silently, remembering the rank smell of the fox wavering behind him as he ran for his life. Jaykit flicked his tail, bringing himself back to the present.
Lionkit, and Hollykit have just become apprentices, it was his turn now. Jaykit bowed his head to Firestar. He stole a quick glance at his littermates; they were quivering with excitement.
"Jaykit you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as, Jaypaw," Firestar mewed encouragingly, nodding to himself. "I ask StarClan to watch over you and guide you until you find in your paws, the strength and courage of a warrior."
"Thornclaw," Firestar called out, "you are ready to take on an apprentice. You had received excellent training from Mousefur, and you have shown yourself to be fierce and brave. You will be the mentor of Jaypaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to him, and to teach him the ways of the warrior code."
Jaypaw trembled with excitement; he had always admired the golden brown tom.
Jaypaw padded forward and touched noses with his new mentor, and as he did, his new mentor whispered, "I'm glad to have you as my apprentice," Thornclaw's eyes gleamed with happiness.
"Jaypaw! Thornclaw! Jaypaw! Thornclaw!" the crowd cheered and called out his name, he scrambled down from the rock, and touched noses with his mother, she was purring loud enough to scare all the prey away in the forest.
Jaypaw's POV still...
Golden rays of sunlight filtered the clearing, signaling a nice day; as soon as Jaypaw was apprenticed, he and his mentor, Thornclaw, had gone to the mossy clearing so he could learn a few basic battle moves.
"Good job!" Thornclaw had proudly commented when Jaypaw had mastered dashing past his opponent and raking his claws across their pelt, and also when he had done a perfect back kick, lashing out with his hind paws and unbalancing Thornclaw.
"I think you've done enough battle training for today, so you can go and get some prey and then head to sleep. We'll be doing the dawn patrol tomorrow." His mentor had purred happily, shaking bits of moss off his pelt.
He and Thornclaw had raced back to the camp, and when they arrived, Jaypaw had eaten a thrush and flopped down into his nest full of fresh moss and surprisingly- feathers, and slept peacefully.
Jaypaw was having a the best dream ever; he was lying peacefully in a clearing on feather soft grass, the warm sun soaking into his fur, making him pleasantly relaxed. He yawned, distinguishing the scent of a mouse, making his mouth water. Jaypaw silently heaved himself to his paws and paused, momentarily sniffing the air. Yep, it's definitely a mouse, he thought excitedly, twitching his ear. He followed the trail through the undergrowth, setting his paws down lightly until he could hear it, tiny feet scuffling on the soft forest ground. The mouse was snuffling among some leaves. Stupid mouse! It probably wouldn't know if I came up and-
"JAYPAW!"
Jaypaw blinked open his eyes, then hissed under his breath as he realized he was assigned to the dawn patrol. He heaved himself from his nest and stretched, arching his back and shaking bits of bracken from his pelt.
Jaypaw hissed stubbornly again, he thought it would be fun to go on the dawn patrol, but he was weary from the battle training he had done the earlier day.
As Jaypaw grumbled to himself, Applepaw, one of the most beautiful apprentices in the history of the Clans, -including BloodClan, StarClan and SkyClan-, woke up.
The silver she-cat looked at him, her blue eyes unwavering. "Dawn patrol?" she murmured, her singsong voice thick with sleep.
"JAYPAW! HURRY UP!" Thornclaw growled outside the entrance. Jaypaw could practically feel, his fur bristling in annoyance.
"Yes." He grumped, replying to Applepaw.
"Want to go hunting with me later?" She changed the subject shyly, ducking her head under her slender paws.
"Umm s-sure." He stammered, surprised.
Jaypaw flicked his tail in a sign of farewell and whisked out of the den. He collided with his mentor, Thornclaw, and licked his chest fur briskly, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"Come on!" Thornclaw snapped, his tail twitching with irritation, and he stalked towards the camp entrance meowing to Brightheart, Birchfall, Spiderleg and his apprentice, Mousepaw.
"We're checking the ShadowClan border." Thornclaw mewed lightly, as they headed into the forest.
Applepaw's POV
Applepaw was in the elders den, checking them for ticks.
"I think I have one I can't reach just behind my ear." Mousefur murmured, her eyes half closed.
Applepaw checked behind the old she-cat's ear, to find a tick stuck to the skin. She grabbed some moss soaked in mouse-bile, lightly dabbing it against the tick, it dropped off as if it had been shocked.
After Applepaw checked Longtail, she exited the elders den, heading for the fresh-kill pile.
She picked out a vole, and settled down to devour it. As she was eating, Applepaw heard a yowl, coming from the thorn barrier entrance. She glanced up startled, and shot to her paws, scenting the air.
"Help! ShadowClan! Attacking!" Jaypaw shoved through the thorn entrance and stood in the middle of the clearing, gasping from all the running he had done.
Cloudtail erupted from the warriors den, his fur bristling and his tail twitching. Dustpelt had looked up from fixing the nursery; the exact same fox had broken into it, apparently seeking 'revenge'.
A/N:I need a full scale of 10 reviews ASAP for the next A-M-A-Z-I-N-G CHAPPIE people! Also, tell me what you like better about this *newer* edition, and what are the differences between this version and my crappy old non-understandable one?