"If you're so old and incredibly wise, tell me why are we here? Why does life exist? If it exists in these other realms and planes and realities like you claim it does, tell me how did it all start, O scaled crone?"
The dragon snickered; at least, it was something akin to that sound produced by beings when they are amused. "Even I don't know the answer to that, Invader. There is no one possessing omnipotence of that kind, except perhaps for the energy of existence itself, and that existence speaks to no one, at least not directly. Pressing it for answers will hardly get you far."
The Irken stood up in his chair, crimson eyes blazing. "I tell the computer that there is an intruder, and it cannot find you. The finest Irken sensory and security technology and it doesn't know you are there! What is this power? How have you managed to outwit the magnificent base of ZIM? Tell me!"
"Your machines are built around the principle that nothing exists beyond the physical, beyond what can be weighed and measured, seen and felt." The dragon's light blue eyes blazed in the darkness of the lab. "Your people have barely reached the programming capacity to emulate emotion. Even so they choose not to use it. The next step is psychic sensitivity, which would be much more difficult. Though what motivation would your race have to attempt it? You Irkens have mastered only half of existence. The other half remains beyond your grasp and will continue to do so until you start developing those sensitive parts of your little minds. Or have they shriveled beyond redemption?" Though her words were derisive, the dragon's voice held no mocking tone.
"You lie!"
"If I am making this up, how then do you explain my presence? That powerful psychic mind of yours must not have disappeared completely, else how could you even be aware of my existence? If I am able to hold a conversation with you, then you have this otherworldly ability that has not been programmed into your technology."
The Irken had no response to this. Unless he had lost his mind and was hallucinating (a prospect which he was not willing to accept) there was no other way to explain the presence of a being before him that his equipment and AI could not pick up on.
"Computer," he said. "Identify all life forms, objects with sentient movement patterns, and foreign energy patterns inside the base."
"Irken Invader Zim detected in main laboratory one. GIR unit detected on house level. No foreign life forms or energy patterns detected."
"Computer," the Irken continued. "Define energy pattern."
"A pattern of invisible and non-quantifiable forces that surround and are a part of all life. They can be sensed and utilized by certain parts of a living being's mind in a process known as magick."
The Irken's eyes narrowed. "Continue."
"This type of energy, which is different from heat, work, or electrical energy, cannot be seen or felt by concrete senses. It has been theorized—but unproven due to its chaotic nature—that this energy may be the sole basis for some non-physical worlds and life forms, accessible, but not in an attainable state, to life on the physical plane."
"Computer," the Irken said, leaning back again in his chair and tapping his gloved fingers together thoughtfully. "Can advanced technology detect this energy?"
"Current Irken technology has not reached a state of advancement in which it is able to detect psychic and magickal energy."
Zim turned in his chair, back to the glowing eyes of the dragon that sprawled gracefully across the floor of his lab like a dark shadow. "It seems my people have knowledge of this magick', scaled stink. Though I see it must be a minority college that has gone through the pains of researching it."
"As it is on Earth," replied the dragon, a smile across her long muzzle. She took Zim's insults with no more than a blink, though treating such a being with contempt like that could sometimes result in quite dire consequences. While some astral creatures simply deemed themselves above physical ones, still others were jealous, and still others avoided them at all costs, knowing they could not be trusted.
"All physical beings base their lives and existence around order. It is their nature." The dragon gazed into the Irken's eyes. "Chaotic and malleable worlds and constructs make them uncomfortable and afraid. So they forget that that world even exists. They try to destroy it and all knowledge and acceptance of it. And they forget how to deal with it when the need does arise. Earth has not completely forgotten. Your human rival has not forgotten. Much of what he dibs the paranormal has its root in this forgotten energy base."
"Dib?" Despite his interest in this energy form and his solemnity at the shadow that coiled around the heart of his security net, Zim could not stop a condescending smirk from crossing his face.
"Your friend Dib may be wiser than he looks. The reason Bigfoot cannot be found? He is a being like me; not bound to the physical world like you sad sacks of flesh are. In fact," the dragon continued, as Zim's eye twitched in resentment at the slight, "That remains the human definition of paranormal. Not explainable by science. What they do not realize is that what they call paranormal' is perfectly normal and natural. They have only forgotten."
Stupid humans, was Zim's contemptuous thought.
"Irkens too."
"My people know of it!" Zim snapped defensively. "Or the computer would not!"
"Your people know of it to about the same extent that the humans do. Perhaps less. Such a comprehensive computer designed for running a base on a foreign planet would contain any material that might at all be relevant to an Invader's mission. Am I right?"
"Yes," the Irken muttered.
"All right then. Get off of yourself, and the supposed superiority of your race. Your lack of knowledge about the Otherworld will prevent the Irken Empire from ever fully ruling the universe. And not only that; it may hinder your rule of the physical universe. What happens when you try to invade a planet whose occupants have not forgotten?"
Zim turned back to his computer console, trying to ignore the pervading presence. He could feel the dragon gazing at him, her ice-blue eyes burning into his back. It frustrated him; frustrated him that he could not simply call an intruder alert to the computer and have his base take care of it. From what he had seen and what the dragon was saying he was stuck with her until she chose to leave.
"So" Zim turned around in his chair again. "I'm sure you have other important things to be doing." The lameness of the excuse did not even register in the Irken's mind, as that same mind turned possibilities over and over of the experiments he could do to find out more about this energy manipulation.
"Perhaps," the dragon said mildly.