Disclaimer: The show TORCHWOOD and all the characters contained therein belong to Russell T. Davies and not me. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. I'm getting no profit from this, just some emotional satisfaction.

Author's Note: This is my response to Season 4 Episode 7 "Immortal Sins" of Torchwood. Gwen and Jack are my OTP for this fandom and it just bugs me to no end to see how much they care for each other and how they just can't make it work. Don't get me wrong, I love Rhys & Gwen too, but I just feel like Gwen & Jack have something infinitely special and to see her willing to betray him like that— well it just broke my heart and I feel as though there is a lot more that could be said.

Just Drive

There were periods of intense honesty, followed by moments of quiet solitude. In one of those quiet moments Jack thought back to how much Gwen meant to him, and how much it hurt that she was leading him to his death. Jack forgive her, he always had a soft spot where Gwen was concerned and he knew that she was only doing this because her family was in trouble. Family always came first, and Jack was just sorry that she obviously didn't count himself among her family.

"I'm afraid Jack," she whispered, breaking him from his musings.

"Gwen Cooper?" he asked. "Afraid."

Gwen nodded, and glanced at him through the rearview mirror. Catching her gaze just for a second, Jack could see the tears in her eyes, he could read the pain that was written all over her face. It hadn't been that long ago since she had admitted to him how much she loved the old life, as dangerous as it was— and despite the fact that fact, despite the fact that he knew that she had been afraid before, this time seemed to be more real somehow.

"I am Jack," she continued. "I'm afraid that this is going to be a trap. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose everything that I…"

"What Gwen?" he interrupted. "What."

Gwen blinked the tears away. Damn Jack for being so forward. Damn him for never letting her say what she really wanted to say. Damn him from disappearing all those years ago. If he had stayed, maybe things would have been different. Maybe her life would have been different. Gwen loved her family— her mother and her father— god knew where he was because the people who were holding her mother said nothing about her father— and then there was her husband Rhys and their baby girl Anwen. They were her whole world and yet there was something magnetic about Jack.

They had reached an understanding the two of them. Despite the fact that they cared about each other deeply and had admitted as much right now in the car— they had also admitted that they would destroy each other to get what each other wanted. Jack wanted to live, and Gwen wanted her family back— more than that though she was holding out hope that there would be a way to get her mother, husband and baby back while keeping Jack as well.

And through the frantic beating of her heart, Gwen's mind whispered that it all could be for naught. It didn't stop her from trying; nothing would stop her from trying to get her baby back, but there was a part of Gwen that was thinking clearly and she knew that there was a chance, a very large chance that she could end up losing not only her family but Jack as well. Losing her family would destroy Gwen that much she knew but Gwen also knew that if she lost Jack at the same time she would be decimated. She wouldn't want to live anymore, and the thought of not wanting to live in a world where everyone lived was just a very frightening prospect.

"I'm afraid that this could be a trap Jack," she admitted finally.

"Well of course this is a trap," Jack snapped. "You haven't spoke to your family, you don't know if they've really got them."

"Like I said there's no answer on their phones," Gwen restated. "But I've got to do this Jack, I've just got to."

"I know," Jack agreed in a forced whisper. "And I don't blame you."

"Oh I wish that you would," she muttered. "I wish that you would curse or scream or do something instead of sitting there bloody calm as you are."

"Calm?" he asked. "You think that I'm calm? I'm being led to my death by the woman that I love."

Gwen gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and Jack for his part could barely believe that he had said those two little words twice in so short a time. He knew as she did that there had always been something magnetic between them. He had stayed away mainly because he had ruined so many lives over his long existence and he had hopped that Gwen would be able to live normally. But look where his staying away had got him— and her.

"This isn't easy for me either Jack," she admitted. "I could do exactly as they say and lose my family and you at the same time. I won't be able to handle that Jack. I can't lose everyone that I care about."

"So you do care about me."

"Course I care about you, you stupid fool," Gwen raged, the tears blurring her vision. She blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear them. She had to keep driving, and it wouldn't do her any good to get into an accident and get Jack killed. "You showed up out of the blue and knocked my world off kilter. I have never, ever met anyone like you Jack and I… I love Rhys I really do. He's my world and Anwen is my future. I would do anything for them. I am doing anything for them.

I'm turning over my best friend, someone that I love— and it's killing me inside. I don't know why it's come to this Jack," she continued, barely stopping for a breath or to realize that for the first time she actually told Jack what she felt for him. "And I really wish that it hadn't come to this but it has."

"Yes," Jack agreed in a resigned tone. "It has."

"I'm sorry Jack," she apologized. "I'm really sorry."

"I know," Jack replied, as though those two words would fix everything. "I know."

"Jack if there was any other way,"

"I know," he interrupted. "Now drive Gwen, just drive."

~END~

Author's Note 2: Well there you have it, the end of my little drabble. I know that it's not much, but I think that I captured the essence of Gwen and Jack pretty well. I also think that I captured the desperateness of their situation. I also addressed some issues— how Gwen didn't even think that it could be a trap, asking to hear her husband's voice to verify that they had him— and then there was the matter with her father. He was with Rhys last time we saw...what on earth happened to him?

Anyways, see that little blue button below? Click on it please, and let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading!