Summary: He spent the better part of his youth banged up - physically and emotionally. Literally and proverbially. But each new day he walked out of the shadows of the night with his head held high, confident that the strength of his Light would be enough. Sure, beyond any shade of doubt, that it would be by his hand the Last City would fall asleep without fear each new sunset might be her last.
AN: Ever wonder what Shaxx and Zavala were like as young Guardians? I did. Not sure where this will go - or what I'll end up writing about, exactly… but this one's my story about Zavala. I felt the Commander could use a little love. First chapter reworked entirely.
Disclaimer: Yeah… Destiny's not mine but you can't begin to imagine how badly I wish it was otherwise. Based mostly on the in-game story, except where I needed to improvise. Which is most places… So it's not really based on the in-game story at all, actually. Be forgiving, especially as new content is released. I had this idea before we knew what SIVA was…
I.
He was waiting, leaning against a makeshift railing on the top floor of an only halfway completed cement skeleton. It was the result of the Speaker's latest brainchild – a monument to the Traveler, a beacon to lead refugees and survivors to the Last City, and an ever present reminder to the residents of that city of the Guardians who were sworn to protect them. The Tower would be home to the Guardians; its construction would unite what fragments of the former factions still remained underneath the common goal of the New Monarchy.
Soaring several stories above ground with the promise of more floors to be built, Zavala saw it more as a grotesque misappropriation of the Last City's dwindling resources. The residents needed something more than a tower. They needed a wall and a strong army raised behind that wall to keep them safe.
Hiking his left foot up to lean against a wooden banister behind him, Zavala pulled his shoulders back in a stretch as he leaned his head slightly left and then right. Licking his left thumb, the young man turned the page of a small volume that he held in his strong right hand. His gloves and helmet lay forgotten in a neat pile at his feet. There was a pulse rifle beside it all but his handsome silver-blue eyes were focused on the book.
It was an ancient text, recommended by his mentor, Commander Saladin, and borrowed from his friend Amrinian-12, a Warlock that had salvaged it from deep within the City's archives. It had been in his possession already for several days but the young Titan had been slow about his study. He hadn't rushed to read the words but, rather, had paused often in thought to really contemplate their meaning.
The Art of War.
Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the previous page and reread the last line, "Regard your soldiers as your children and they will follow you into the dark," before he turned the page back to its original place.
"What have you there, Titan?"
And Zavala frowned, watching as a pair of gloved hands drew the small red text out of his grasp. Following the book with his eyes, the Awoken male exhaled a slow breath and let his gaze snap up to meet that of his comrade, Shaxx. If it was appropriate to call him that. Comrade implied mutual respect and Zavala wasn't certain if respect was quite the proper way to describe how he felt about the boisterous human standing before him. In a calm voice, the Awoken Titan responded, "I'm preparing for our meeting with the Commander."
The shorter Titan watched as Shaxx smirked. Zavala made a single, sharp motion to retrieve the book – and when the tall blonde human pulled it away at the last moment, just out of his grasp, the Awoken male righted his balance and straightened his posture. It had been a rather easy feat to keep the book away from Zavala given the height difference between the two Titans. Then, chuckling for his obvious advantage and the distress it seemed to cause the shorter man, Shaxx clucked his tongue, 'tsk'ing the other Titan as he teased, "The old man didn't mean for us to actually read this crap, Z."
"It's Zavala," the Awoken murmured, turning around to lean against the makeshift railing on his forearms. Finding that his jaw was clenched, the Titan released the tension and relaxed his hand from the fist that had formed of its own volition. Drawing a long, slow breath, his silver-blue eyes looked with a solemn appreciation across the small expanse of the horizon and the meager skyline his home made for. The sun was setting slow and sure behind the Traveler, watching the City and her people with diligence.
Biting his tongue as he listened to Shaxx fanning through the fragile pages, panning for information that he would be almost certain to take out of context, the shorter Titan didn't turn to acknowledge his colleague as he felt a sharp depression in the makeshift railing which signaled the other man was now leaning next to him. Muttering something to himself that Zavala couldn't understand, Shaxx shook his head and the rickety railing with it, quoting, "If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles."
Silence.
And then laughter, "What the hell? Can you believe this shit, Z? It makes no sense at all, if you ask me."
Resisting the urge to affirm that he hadn't asked Shaxx to share his opinion, Zavala caught the flicker of movement from the taller Titan at his left. He sidestepped at the very last moment to avoid having the other man's elbow wedged between the place the front portion of his chest plate separated from the back.
If Shaxx had noticed at all he hadn't let on. Instead, he continued with a hearty laugh, "And get this one – 'The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting'? The hell you s'pose that means?"
"It means," Zavala paused to pull the book away from Shaxx, letting his index finger mark the page Shaxx had been contemplating, "That not every conflict can be resolved with brute force. That it is often the better part of valor to find alternate methods of remediation. That your fist is not as powerful as your brain, though if I'm to think on it long enough, perhaps yours might be."
"That right there means a lot, coming from you, Z," Shaxx smiled, misinterpreting the hidden insult for a compliment. Running one of his large gloved hands through the shaggy blonde tufts of his hair, he inched just a bit closer to the other Titan.
"Really. Don't call me that," Zavala frowned as he licked his right thumb and began the task of turning backwards through the pages Shaxx had skipped in order to reclaim his place in the book. Finding the appropriate spot, he pulled the red silk ribbon from book's spine and laid it with a careful hand back in between the thin pages. When he closed the book, he'd done so like it was a precious treasure. Glancing over at the other Titan, Zavala adopted the same stance as Shaxx and both men were facing the Last City.
Silence fell over the pair of them for a long moment before Shaxx asked with hesitance in his voice, "Do you s'pose that's why we've got the wall?"
Considering the question and trying to frame some context around it, Zavala asked, "Is what why we've got the wall?"
"That book," Shaxx pointed at the text that Zavala was holding in front of him in both hands. "Is the wall our 'alternate retimidation' or, well, whatever you called it?"
"Remediation?" Zavala raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest as he glanced up at the taller man beside him. Pausing to notice the way a vein in the other Titan's neck pulsed like he was preparing to take a blow, Zavala sighed. It wasn't often the other Titan could be caught feeling vulnerable - but it was moments like these when the Awoken thought that maybe they were friends, after all. Zavala softened his expression the slightest bit before he nodded and knocked his knuckles on the wooden railing a few times, "Yes, I think it is."
Before the conversation could go anywhere further, however, the booming voice of Commander Saladin greeted the two Titans, "Not interrupting, am I?"
Almost as though attached to one another, Zavala and Shaxx straightened at the same moment and each man turned around to face the Commander. It was always a welcomed surprise to see Commander Saladin; especially as of late, the tall human in glimmering grey and gold armor had been wandering away from the City for longer periods of time. What he did in his long absences was a popular topic of debate among the Titans that served under him, whether patrolling the wall or patronizing one of the City's many bars.
"Perhaps I was," the human considered, smiling until even his dark brown eyes were alight from it. There was little doubt that Shaxx and Zavala were his two favorite among the other young Titans rising in rank. They were often chosen to work together and in instances where a certain sort of care was required for a mission to be considered successful.
When it was evident that Shaxx did not mean to say the first word, Zavala replied in a careful tone, "No, sir," before folding his hands respectfully behind his back.
"Oh, 'The Art of War'," Saladin narrowed his dark eyes slightly in amusement – and Zavala knew that was the sentiment he felt from the way that the corner of his mouth began to turn upwards towards a smile. The Commander continued, "I'm glad to see that you've found a copy. Are you enjoying it so far?"
"It's-" and Shaxx waved a loose fist in a slow circle in front of his chest like he was searching for the right word. His brilliant blue eyes gleamed with a mischievous note as he seemed to be fighting back a smirk.
"Thought-provoking," Zavala interrupted the other man with haste, determined to keep the other Titan from making a mockery of what had been their most recent assignment from the Commander. Then, feeling that the eyes of his mentor and his partner had shifted to him in surprise, the young man straightened his shoulders and dropped his jaw in a sharp movement, "So far it has sparked several worthy deliberations between Shaxx and myself."
Blue eyes met silver as Shaxx added, "We haven't really brushed the surface, Commander."
"Very good," Commander Saladin nodded at his most promising future Iron Lords - not that either of them would have known that was what they were to be groomed for. Crossing his arms over his chest, he regarded the pair of them. Letting his gaze drift in between the two Titans and fall to the Traveler, his shoulders slumped and he breathed a heavy sigh, "But that isn't why I've asked you here today. With the extra effort being," and here he paused to clench his hand to a fist before continuing in a heavy tone, "expended to erect this Tower coupled with the attention I've needed to devote to completing the Wall…"
The thought hung in the air, almost tangible. And Zavala wondered if the other Titan had thought it, too… The words, 'All the time I've been away,' gnawed at the Awoken Titan.
"Resources are scarce, Commander," Shaxx interrupted with an abrupt edge to his tone. "We are aware."
Cringing for the tension that had resulted from the other Titan's outburst, Zavala softened the mood by asking, "How can we help, sir?"
"One of Andal's scouts has made contact with a small pocket of survivors not far from the Forgotten Shore," the Commander said, referring to the Hunter Vanguard as though there had been no interruption from either of his students. "They appear to have been salvagers, nomadic by necessity; mostly women and children. There are ten survivors, which is more than enough to draw the attention of any Fallen within the immediate proximity."
"So you want us to bring the children home?" Shaxx smirked, running a hand through his shaggy blonde bangs to pull the golden locks away from his eyes. The way the dying sunlight glimmered off his shining silver armor – well, Zavala figured he probably looked every bit the part of a heroic Guardian from the Last City; just what the survivors would be expecting. The Traveler's proud warrior. A Viking of legend. A demi-god among men…
Saladin met the taller of the two men with a pointed stare that betrayed nothing of the irritation it was clear he felt for this most recent interruption. Turning, instead to Zavala, he softened his expression and continued, "The pair of you will rendezvous with Ana Bray and the survivors at the Forgotten Shore; form up a caravan to escort these survivors to safety behind the Wall. Your convoy will travel by nightfall to avoid detection."
Shaxx laughed, shaking his head in disbelief, "What, we'll bring them back here by sparrow?"
"Precisely," Commander Saladin replied with a firmness that left little room for argument; his dark eyes flashed just once at the tall human.
"But that will take," and Shaxx hesitated for a moment, almost muttering aloud the calculations he tried to figure in his head. Sighing in exasperation, he decided, "Days!"
"Yes," the Commander affirmed. "Exactly three."
"Three days?" and whether he'd even tried to hide the displeasure he felt about their current assignment was a mystery to Zavala. If he had, Shaxx had failed.
"We'll do it, sir," the Awoken Titan interrupted any further protest from Shaxx.
"Then Zavala will take the lead," the Commander decided, nodding as though he agreed with his own determination. Before either Titan could respond, Saladin continued, "You'll leave immediately. The Speaker has arranged a jumpship to transport you to the rendezvous point."
"Yes, Commander," Zavala straightened his shoulders as he accepted their mission.
When Shaxx made no indication that he intended to reply, the shorter male elbowed him in the ribs. It had been enough to prompt a hasty response of, "Yes, Commander."
Satisfied with his protégées, Saladin offered them a simple, "Good luck," before heading towards the stairway that would lead to the lower, finished, floors of the still incomplete Tower. When he was out of earshot, Shaxx sighed, complaining, "We're really the best choice he had available for this?"
"Had you something better to do?" Zavala frowned, trying to hide his irritation.
"I'd have found something," Shaxx almost pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I always do."
"They're children!" the Awoken male exclaimed, shaking his head in disappointed exasperation. In truth, this shouldn't have been something that the human would require be rationalized to him. They served the Traveler, the City, and her people. It was their job, their duty to escort survivors back to safety behind the Wall.
"Mostly," Shaxx pouted.
Sighing, Zavala tucked his book into one of the empty pouches at his waist and knelt to pick up his gloves. Pulling them over his hands, he shook his head and agreed, "Mostly children. But this mission will require great care, Shaxx. We cannot afford to allow these survivors to be located by the Fallen."
"Explains him sending you," Shaxx tried to protest. "But it doesn't explain why we both need to go."
Standing up with his helmet in one hand and pulse rifle in the other, Zavala reminded his partner, "Ana and I will need you there if we are discovered."
With a reluctance he couldn't hide, the taller Titan promised, "I've got your six."
"And I've got yours," Zavala nodded. He'd almost smiled before deciding, "Meet at the shipyard in an hour?"
"Make it two."
"An hour and a half," Zavala acquiesced. "Don't be late."
But Shaxx was already halfway across the yet-unfinished floor of the Tower, waving absent-mindedly as he contemplated all of the excuses he might make to Zavala for being late.
Feeling uneasy for the sense of transmat, the Awoken Titan closed his eyes and rested one of his hands on the side of his helmet. It always seemed to help stave the sense of disorientation that he felt when first arriving on a solid surface after leaving orbit. If his counterpart felt the same way still remained to be seen...
Finding the taller Titan dressed in a suit of grey armor that mirrored - but didn't match entirely - that of his own, Zavala considered how the pair of them were marked as members of Commander Saladin's search and rescue team. The Awoken Titan watched his counterpart pull off his helmet. He was standing beside Ana Bray, the Hunter who would be their guide, smiling that million-watt smile that never failed to drive a woman into his arms.
Shaxx had even shaken out the curly locks of his golden-blonde hair, sending the light gleaming off of it in a brilliant, awe-inspiring way. Not even a minute into their mission and he'd already started in with his old antics... Ana laughed at something Shaxx muttered softly so only she could hear; she hid her reaction behind one of her gloved hands and Zavala knew in no uncertain terms that his human counterpart was acting with intention.
Just once, Zavala wanted to see him strike out. Just once, he wanted that Shaxx would know the bitter sting of rejection; of a fear that he'd be made to feel small, again and again, for his unwanted advances. The very same kind of fear that kept the Awoken Titan from talking to any of the women he thought to admire in the Tower.
Looking around for some other form of distraction, Zavala couldn't help but to smile, despite the behavior of the Titan with whom he was sharing this mission, when he noticed what sort of attention he had managed to draw to himself. He was surrounded by children who were staring at him with a look of stunned awe. Not that he would question what interest a bald Awoken Titan might be when measured beside a Scandinavian Viking-God like Shaxx. Truth be told, Zavala was thankful he hadn't scared the children away. If the lot of them had been born out here in the wilds, Zavala could guess they'd never seen a Titan from the City before.
Either Titan, himself or Shaxx, would have been a new sight.
Kneeling down in front of them so he was at their eye level, the Titan lowered his helmet to his left hip and counted three of them. In a kind tone, he asked, "Is this all of you?"
A little Awoken boy with dark green hair nodded, "Yes. We're it."
"No, Ben," a little human girl with brown hair disagreed, crossing her arms over her chest in an indication of her impatience for the older boy's omission. "You're forgetting Amanda."
She pointed across the small clearing and Zavala's bright blue eyes followed those of all of the children to find a small little girl with yellow hair the color of straw. She was almost-hiding away from them. The group grew silent when she waved to them - or to him, Zavala couldn't tell - and the Titan could sense that they were moving more than a bit further away from her.
"She doesn't count, Noa!" the second little boy, this one human, whispered with quiet urgency. "She can't even talk."
"We'd do her a favor to just leave her out here with her mother!" Ben added with an edge of sarcasm to his tone that Zavala could not understand. Before he could inquire, the other three children began to laugh.
Then they all participated in singing, "Nananana nère, pouette pouette camembert!"
Zavala cocked his head to the side, trying to read the little girl's reaction to what he could only presume was taunting. He'd understood the words of their teasing to be French - but he couldn't begin to determine what it was they'd said to her. Couldn't have been anything too bad, as she left her expression unchanged and continued to peer around the edge of a rock to get a better look at him.
She was a pretty child, he could tell. Underneath the dirt and grime from a life of constant travel between safe havens, she had sun kissed skin and rosy cheeks. Her hair was braided away from her face and the Awoken Titan considered that he could just make out a glimmer of freckles underneath the dirt, as well.
He smiled at her.
Her pale green eyes glimmered at him as she seemed to waver between whether or not she ought to go over to where the other children were for a better look at the Titan or stay within the safety of her hiding place. After a few more moments, she seemed to fancy the hiding place.
"Good work, Z. Leave it to you to organize the children," the commanding tone of Shaxx boomed across the clearing. "We've got to get a move on. Ana says we have a half an hour until sundown."
"Of course," Zavala agreed, returning his helmet to his head - but not before chancing one last glance across the clearing to the little girl named Amanda.
She had disappeared.
Following after Shaxx, Zavala let the taller Titan lead him to a small group of caravaners they would be leading back behind the safety of the wall. The group looked weary, worried, and ill at ease. Zavala remained silent, overhearing Ana explain, "The Titans have arrived from the City with sparrows."
But he already knew all of the details. Turning around, he tried again to locate Amanda - in no more than the five minutes he'd been there, she'd managed to find a way to endear herself to him. He considered himself to be a bit of an outcast back in the City and, as a result, he'd always harbored a soft spot for others like him.
She was nowhere to be found.
When Zavala felt Shaxx's hand come to rest on his shoulder, he could guess that it was time to start summoning the sparrows. The other man teased, "Why so serious, Z? Surely you're not afraid of a little rescue run!"
He shrugged his shoulder out of Shaxx's grasp and started summoning the three sparrows that he'd been allocated.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the caravaners starting to pair up and the children holding on to their mothers. In all, there would only be eight sparrows for three Guardians and the ten caravaners who were to be rescued.
The first bike was given to Ben and a plump Awoken woman that the Titan could only assume was his mother. Glancing over at Shaxx, Zavala nodded when the other Titan handed his first bike over to one of the men.
When everyone had been assigned to a speeder, Zavala took a head count. Four women, two men, and three children... Where was Amanda?
Before he could ask the question, Zavala felt a tug on the mark he kept tied around his waist. When he looked down, there she was standing next to him.
"Can I ride with you?" her eyes shined with an anxious expectancy. She didn't cower away at her own reflection in his dark visor and she didn't seem embarrassed when he knelt down beside her.
"She lost her mother a few days before I found them," Ana explained. "She's only been traveling with this caravan for as long. They found her hiding in a fox hole - probably hollowed out by the Fallen. They like to patrol these areas near the shoreline."
Looking at the little girl, who hadn't wavered in even the slightest as she listened to Ana tell her story, Zavala nodded and affirmed, "Yeah, I think there's plenty of room with me."
Without missing a beat, she hurried over to the sparrow they would share as she asked, "Can I drive?"
Following after her with hasty steps, Zavala bit his lower lip to hold in a smile from behind his visor, "We'll see."
"What's your name?" she asked, climbing up on the front of the speeder, resting her hands over the controls as she checked them over.
"Zavala," the Titan replied, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting for her to catch on that she was sitting in his spot.
"No, your real name," she insisted. "What do I get to call you?"
When she didn't move out of his spot, the Titan shook his head and climbed onto the bike behind her, "My real name is Ander. But my friends call me Zavala."
She turned around to look at him with her nose wrinkled up, replying with a tone of incredulity, "Ander's a funny name. But since I'm your friend, I get to call you Zavala, right?"
Laughing, the Awoken placed his hands beside hers on the bike's controls and replied, "Yeah, that's right. What do I get to call you?"
"You can call me Holliday!" the girl replied.
"Alright, Miss Holliday," he paused to watch the trail of sparrows beginning to file into a line after Ana's bike. His tone couldn't hide his amusement as he asked the little girl in front of him, "Have you driven one of these before?"
"Of course, Zavala!" she replied, pushing his hands away from the controls. "My daddy and I used to make speeder bikes like these!"
"Alright, then you can drive," he replied, relaxing as she sped forward after the rest of their group.
