"You… You JERK!"
Yamcha's eyes snapped open in surprise at the sound of that shrill voice.
He knew that shrill voice.
The scarred-faced man slowly turned his head and smiled shakily at his blue haired girlfriend.
"H-Hey, Bulma. You look beautiful today. How's it going? Did I mention how gorgeous you are? Because you are." he lamely greeted. The blonde behind him peered over his shoulder with her green eyes widened in surprise, extremely confused as to why this stranger had rudely interrupted their passionate make-out session.
Yamcha, on the other hand, knew exactly what was happening and was sweating bullets. He looked back and forth between the women, fumbling with words to make up a good excuse to get him out of the hole he dug himself into.
Bulma's flying heel never gave him the chance to spit one out.
"Who is she? You told me you were sick! I had arranged a wonderful date for us at the best restaurant in town, gotten tickets to that STUPID baseball game you always wanted to go to, canceled all my other plans for you, and you blow me off for some hussy? And then you kiss her in the middle of the street in broad daylight?" she screeched. How dare he? She was the Bulma Briefs!
The blonde's eyes narrowed at the insult and promptly shoved Yamcha aside. She stalked up to the blue-haired woman and fired back.
"Excuse me? I think my boyfriend has every right to spend time with his sweet, loving girlfriend." She paused to wink in Yamcha's direction. "What makes you think you're so important? Yama-kun has never even mentioned any female friends!" She crossed her arms triumphantly and stared Bulma down, daring her to argue with that logic.
"You know what? I totally agree. A boyfriend should spend time with his girlfriend instead of other girls," Bulma calmly replied. The other woman smirked, thinking victory was hers, but she wasn't quite finished yet.
Bulma's calm and agreeable demeanor quickly changed into one of malice and rage.
"And that GIRLFRIEND is ME," she finished, pointing a thumb towards herself.
The blonde gasped, shocked at the fact there was…. Another woman.
"Yamcha.." She sniffed, tears coming to her large eyes. "We've only been dating for 4 months and you've found yourself another woman?"
Bulma scoffed incredulously. "Other woman? No, honey, you're the other woman," she said, accusingly pointing her finger at the confused girl. "Yamcha and I have been dating for 1 year, 5 months, 127 days, 4 hours, 9 minutes and…" She paused to look at her watch, "17 seconds." She 'hmphed', finally glad to have put this broad back in her place.
The girl was taken aback by this proclamation, and tried to process this information. The blonde's eyes widened as she came to a conclusion. "Oh. I see." She placed a hand on both of Bulma's shoulders. "Sweetie. I see what's going on now," The blonde spoke very slowly, as if speaking to a toddler. "You only think you started dating that long ago. You must be so obsessed with Yama-kun that you created an imaginary relationship with him and have been stalking him. It's okay, I know people who can help."
Bulma stared, mouth agape, at the clueless woman. "What? No! Yamcha tell her!" Bulma searched for the man behind the blonde to have him reaffirm that yes, they had been dating that long, and no, she was not crazy. However, all she found was empty space.
"That coward!" Bulma exclaimed. "Why, I would never stoop so low! I would never deny something I did, even if it was right or wrong! And I would certainly never run away from it! No sir, I am an honest woman. I have integrity. No one can strip me of that. In this world of dark, deceitful people, I, Bulma Briefs, am the shining star among them! The honest shining star! Yamcha will rue the day he lied to me!" She finished and struck a pose, arms akimbo.
"No one cares. Is this your shoe?" A gruff voice venomously questioned.
Bulma turned and observed the stranger. With his flame-swept hair, dark skin, onyx eyes, and muscular build, Bulma would have thought him handsome if he hadn't looked so pissed.
"Uh.." her mind went blank. This man's entire demeanor practically screamed 'I could slaughter you and not feel a thing', and, quite frankly, it scared her.
The blonde behind her was just as terrified and she slowly backed up, pointed at Bulma, and ran off.
The man turned his attention from the fleeing blonde to the woman standing in front of him.
"Well, then. This is your shoe that broke my window and rammed into my face like a damn missile."
It was because of this statement that Bulma finally noticed the rather large bruise forming on his forehead. Wow, she had one heck of arm! Now if only it had hit Yamcha…
The man snapped her out of her thoughts before she could daydream of killing her now ex-boyfriend by shoving the shoe in question into her face.
Bulma reeled back in shock and stared into the man's eyes. She froze in awe. Those eyes. She could drown in them. Drown in despair. His eyes rather reminded her of the Swamp of Sadness that was in that weird movie she watched as a child. The swamp that killed people. And, indeed, those eyes did say 'if this is your shoe, I am going to kill you with it'.
So this is why, in contrast to her earlier proclamation of being honest and most definitely never a coward, Bulma Briefs stuttered out a quick "N-no" and turned tail and ran for her precious, precious life.
To be continued...
Don't own DBZ. In case the allusion was not understood, the Swamp of Sadness was from the movie 'The Neverending Story'. I haven't written fan fiction in several years, and, while I am fully aware that this is definitely no literary work of art, I hope this was at least a little entertaining.