This is a fan-made alternate ending to the third book (Mockingjay) of the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. It is offered free, with gratitude to Ms. Collins for a great story.
Chapter 27
In the stunned reaction that follows, I'm aware of one sound. Snow's laughter. An awful gurgling cackle accompanied by an eruption of foamy blood when the coughing begins. I see him bend forward, spewing out his life, until the guards block him from my sight.
As the gray uniforms begin to converge on me, I think of what my brief future as the assassin of Panem's new president holds. The interrogation, probable torture, certain public execution. Having, yet again, to say my final goodbyes to the handful of people who still maintain a hold on my heart. The prospect of facing my mother, who will now be entirely alone in the world, decides it.
"Good night," I whisper to the bow in my hand and feel it go still. I raise my left arm and twist my neck down to rip off the pill on my sleeve. Instead my teeth sink into flesh. I yank my head back in confusion to find myself looking into Peeta's eyes, only now they hold my gaze. Blood runs from the teeth marks on the hand he clamped over my nightlock. "Let me go!" I snarl at him, trying to wrest my arm from his grasp.
"I can't," he says. As they pull me away from him, I feel the pocket ripped from my sleeve, see the deep violet pill fall to the ground, watch Cinna's last gift get crunched under a guard's boot. I transform into a wild animal, kicking, clawing, biting, doing whatever I can to free myself from this web of hands as the crowd pushes in. The guards lift me up above the fray, where I continue to thrash as I'm conveyed over the crush of people. I start screaming for Gale. I can't find him in the throng, but he will know what I want. A good clean shot to end it all. Only there's no arrow, no bullet. Is it possible he can't see me? No. Above us, on the giant screens placed around the City Circle, everyone can watch the whole thing being played out. He sees, he knows, but he doesn't follow through. Just as I didn't when he was captured. Sorry excuses for hunters and friends. Both of us.
I'm on my own.
In the mansion, they handcuff and blindfold me. I'm half dragged, half carried down long passages, up and down elevators, and deposited on a carpeted floor. The cuffs are removed and a door slams closed behind me. When I push the blindfold up, I find I'm in my old room at the Training center. The one where I lived during those last precious days before my first Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell. The bed's stripped to the mattress, the closet gapes open, showing the emptiness inside, but I'd know this room anywhere.
It's a struggle to get to my feet and peel off my Mockingjay suit. I'm badly bruised and might have a broken finger of two, but it's my skin that's paid most dearly for my struggle with the guards. The new pink stuff has shredded like tissue paper and blood seeps through the laboratory-grown cells. No medics show up, though, and as I'm too far gone to care, I crawl up onto the mattress, expecting to bleed to death.
No such luck. By evening, the blood clots, leaving me stiff and sore and sticky but alive. I limp into the shower and program in the gentlest cycle I can remember, free of any soaps and hair products, and squat under the warm spray, elbows on my knees, head in my hands.
When I step out on the mat, the hot air bakes my damaged skin dry. There's nothing clean to put on. Not even a towel to wrap around me. Back in the room, I find the Mockingjay suit has disappeared. In its place is a paper robe. A meal has been sent up from the mysterious kitchen with a container of my medications for dessert. I go ahead and eat the food, take the pills, rub the salve on my skin.
Empty days pass. I watch the city below. There are lots of guards, but there is some foot traffic on the streets. At night sporadic power outages darken sectors of the city. A couple of days later, something unexpected happens. The room goes dark, the only light is from high above the window. I go to the window, it is the moon. The city is dark for blocks. The doors open and several people rush into the room. They aren't guards, they're too much of a team, moving together. One walks up to me and shines her light on her face, it's Lyme. I remember her giving the briefing in district two about the Nut. She hands me some clothes, "Hurry, it's time to go." I throw on the uniform and follow her out the door.
It is a small force, eight men, Lyme, and me. Lyme and one of the men get into the cab of a beat up truck, the rest of us get into the back. After passing several checkpoints, Lyme gets into the back of the truck and sits next to me "We are getting you out of the capital, the voices crying for your blood over Coin's death are gaining support. But Paylor wants you safe, in case we need more testimony about Coin's crimes." Apparently, the new government thinks I still might be of use. I nod and lean back, eyes closed. When does this end?
Lyme continues, not realizing that I don't care "Things have been hectic since Paylor assumed control. In the chaos after the death of Coin, she pulled together the military and kept the Capital from completely falling apart. Then she and Plutarch assembled a committee to start formulating a new government. Plutarch pushed for including far more people than Paylor thought necessary, but he argued well. He cast the committee, balancing personalities and influences. It seems like they will eventually accomplish something, but it is very slow. Everyone has to be heard, several times. And nothing concrete can be done until the representatives from the districts get here.
"The difficulty with forming a government in which laws are ascendent over people, is that people have to give up power. Or it has to be taken from them, but peacefully. And that often means unsavory methods. She's bought out several people with money or government positions out in the districts. Others require more of a threatening approach. However, she's not sure that she can intimidate everyone she needs to.
"On top of all of that, we have to deal with the real crimes from the war. So far the investigations are proceeding. It looks like Plutarch is putting together a believable and workable judiciary. He is using far more of the old judges from the capital than Paylor is comfortable with, but people seem to be happy with his system. Juries are being formed and judgements are being made, often to the satisfaction of the population but not always.
"The evidence against Coin has grown. Her crimes were far more than Paylor and I suspected. It wasn't just the bombing of the city circle and shooting you in the square outside the Nut. Coin had formed a private security force that reported only to her, and they had ensured that she became the only option for the new presidency.
"Peeta is starting to gain traction with his movement to cancel the Capitol Hunger Games. It is by no means popular, but people are starting to listen. I suspect that Plutarch suggested the alternative to him, having capital citizens work out in the districts to help bury the dead and rebuild. Paylor doesn't have a strong opinion about it, but mixing the people seems like a good thing; if they don't kill each other."
After several days of sneaking aboard cargo trains, we arrive at a small village in district two. I can see the top of the Nut in the distance. Lyme tells me I can hunt in the surrounding forest, but to be back each night. Apparently, I'm the only one providing meat for the ten of us.
After weeks of ignoring me, Lyme is waiting for me one day as I return from hunting. "There's news from the Capitol," she says "The investigation and judgments of Coin's actions are over." I listen, but just out of courtesy.
"Plutarch has his republic, representatives from each district formed part of the government. Paylor is the new president of all of Panem. Peeta barely managed to reverse the vote on the Capitol Hunger Games. Capitol war prisoners are working to bury the dead and rebuild out in the districts. They are being housed in camps and fed by the districts. They are under guard, but it is mostly for their protection and not much is apparently needed." I nod but none of this changes the emptiness I feel. I had hoped getting back outside into the forest would help, but there is no solace. Lyme thinks she is helping me by sharing all this, but I really don't care anymore.
"Also, your trial is over. You've been found innocent because of mental instability." she continues. I nod again, that figured. "There was discussion of how much you knew about Coin's actions. And a lot of evidence about her actions was presented. But in the end your mental classification was the deciding factor. You're free to go." It takes a few moments for her words to register. Free to go where?
Lying in bed that night, I'm flooded with memories of my childhood before my father died. Mother was happy. We were poor, but we weren't starving. There was enough food, and I would play with Prim. I get up, pack, pull on my coat and pull the hood over my head and walk to the train station.
On the train no one recognizes me. Without my prep team's efforts and my uniform, I'm just another tired scarred person. One of the capital work parties is on the train. They seem genuinely surprised by what the capital has done to the districts over the years.
I get off in District 12. I'm reminded again that it's all gone, everything has been bombed to ashes. There is new construction, but it's all different. It will never be the same. There is a general store, I go in and grab some essentials. I don't recognize the store keep. From there I walk into the forest. I use the house on the pond as my base camp. Every few days I sit on the ledge and remember. They continue rebuilding in the valley below.
One day on the ledge I hear a familiar sound. My head snaps around at the hiss, but it takes awhile to believe he's real. How could he have gotten here? I take in the claw marks from some wild animal, the back paw he holds slightly above the ground, the prominent bones in his face. He's come on foot, then, all the way from 13. Maybe they kicked him out or maybe he just couldn't stand it there without her, so he came looking.
"It was a waste of a trip. She's not here." I tell him. Buttercup hisses again. "She's not here. You can hiss all you like. You won't find Prim." At her name, he perks up. Raises his flattened ears. Begins to meow hopefully. "Go Away!" He dodges the branch that I throw at him. "Go Away! There's nothing left for you here!" I start to shake, furious with him. "She's not coming back! She's never ever coming back here again!" I grab another branch and get to my feet to improve my aim. And out of nowhere, the tears begin to pour down my cheeks. "She's dead." I clutch my middle to dull the pain. Sink down on my heels, rocking the branch, crying. "She's dead, you stupid cat. She's dead." A new sound, part crying, part singing, comes out of my body, giving voice to my despair. Buttercup begins to wail as well. No matter what I do, he won't go. He circles me, just out of reach, as wave after wave of sobs rack my body, until eventually I fall unconscious. But he must understand. He must know that the unthinkable has happened and to survive will require previously unthinkable acts. Because hours later, when I come to, he's there in the moonlight. Crouched beside me, yellow eyes alert, guarding me from the night.
In the morning, back at the pond, he sits stoically as I clean the cuts, but digging the thorn from his paw brings on a round of those kitten mews. We both end up crying again, only this time we comfort each other. On the strength of this, I decide to go into town and call my mother.
I walk past the new buildings towards my house in the victor's village. Then I smell it. The memory floods back, two loaves of bread that saved our lives. "Peeta?" Peeta is stacking loaves in the window of the bakery. He comes to the door "Katniss! Haymitch said you would come back." He looks past me and exclaims, "Is that Buttercup? I bet I have something you would like." Peeta tosses the crust of some cheese bread on the new sidewalk and Buttercup dives toward it. "Are you back for good?" he inquires, looking back at me. I am drawn to his eyes, they are those of the old Peeta, the one before he was hijacked.
"I suppose so, where else would I go?"
"Your mother is in district 2."
"I was on my way to call her," I explain, "Does my phone work?"
"Yes, Greasey Sae takes care of all the victor's houses. I'll walk back with you, just let me lock up." I wait while he grabs a basket of bread and locks the door. The two of us head toward the Victor's village, Buttercup trailing behind.
Peeta leaves me at my doorstep and heads off towards his house. "I'll see you tomorrow." I hear him say as he walks away. I go in, find the phone and sit down. Buttercup is off exploring. I need a few minutes to clear my head. Running into Peeta was unexpected, it looks like he has recovered from the hijacking.
I suddenly realize I don't know my mother's phone number. She is in district 2 but I don't know where. Then I notice a letter from my mother by the phone. She's working as a doctor at a clinic in one of the small villages. Taking a deep breath, I compose myself and dial her number. It is late that night when we've wept over Prim and I finally hang up.
Greasy Sae wakes me up the next morning. She is banging around the kitchen. Buttercup is on the foot of bed, watching the door.
"Come on, cat, there might be food down there."
Greasy nods as I enter the kitchen "I heard you were back, sit for breakfast."
Haymitch comes in the front door and into the kitchen "Good morning Greasy! Two more for breakfast, I think." He looks at me "You're a sight, girl! You've been living in the forest?" I ignore him. He sits down "Well, you are a sight for sore eyes. Welcome back."
I take a breath "Thank you."
He stares at me. I continue "I mean thank you for trying to keep me alive, both of us." He is cleaned up and more sober than than I've ever seen him.
He slowly nods "And thank you, Katniss. For ending the Hunger Games." He holds his hands up to show they are empty and very slowly stands and leans over and kisses me on the forehead.
I exhale "But they're never really over, not for us, are they?"
Haymitch shrugs "I don't have to watch two more children die next year. Some hurts never heal, they leave scars. But I think the bleeding will stop." His cheerfulness is strange, it has no irony or sarcasm.
I say "What are you doing here?"
Haymitch grins "I was too much trouble in the capital. So I was assigned back here to watch Peeta."
"Peeta needs watching?"
Haymitch shakes his head "Not anymore. The doctors say he now has a good handle on what was done to him. They just needed an excuse to exile me." I smell the bread before the knock at the door. Haymitch whispers "That's him now."
I go open the door "Come in, Haymitch didn't even knock."
Peeta has sweet rolls, decorated as only he can. He follows me into the kitchen.
Haymitch beams "Good morning, Peeta! Bring that tray over here to the table. Sit down and have some breakfast." Greasey starts putting food on the table.
"Good morning Greasey, please take some of these for your granddaughter," Peeta says as he sets down the tray.
Greasey grins and nods "Thank you, Peeta. She does love your rolls."
Peeta turns to me "May I join you, Katniss?" I bite back a retort, Haymitch's cheerfulness is unnerving but I shouldn't take it out on Peeta. I nod. Peeta sits at the table and we all eat the eggs and ham. I tear up my ham and throw it to Buttercup. He gobbles it up.
Haymitch turns to Greasey "I still say that you should start a restaurant, Greasey. Peeta won't do it, he just wants a bakery." Greasey laughs and puts down a saucer of cream. Buttercup is soon purring.
Haymitch turns to me "So when did Lyme let you go? Paylor said you were under house arrest but safe. We finally figured out that Lyme had you. Paylor was afraid that the voices after your blood would prevail, so they had to get you out of there. But she wouldn't tell us any more than that."
I shrug "A week or so."
"You've been in the forest for the last week?" Peeta asks. " It's getting cold at night, winter is coming!"
Haymitch laughs, "And I have to get some buildings finished before that happens." He stands and hugs Greasey "Thank you, Greasey. Very tasty as always." Then he's through the front door and gone.
"What's he so happy about?" I ask.
Peeta looks at me "Haymitch? Our time in 13 showed him his sober side. He started drinking again back in the capital, but he's now found something positive to do, and his ghosts seem to be at peace at last, at least mostly."
"What's he doing?" I inquire.
Peeta is quick to reply, "He's in charge of rebuilding 12. No one assigned him, he's just taken the lead. He'll probably end up as mayor or something."
I shake my head "Haymitch, mayor?"
Peeta grins "Effie's in charge of the capital workers helping to rebuild 12. She's changed too."
I look at Peeta and ask "And what are you doing?"
"Me? Waiting for you. Haymitch was pretty sure that you would show up here as soon as you could." That figured, Haymitch knows me too well.
"You got the vote reversed."
Peeta looks pleased. "Yes, I had help. It will be better."
I shrug "You always did know how to work a crowd."
"I made some powerful people mad. Fortunately I have no further ambition for politics."
"So you opened a bakery."
He grins "Why not? It's what I know. You should come see the new ovens." I shake my head, but I really didn't want to dismiss him "I need to clean up. But I have to go back and get some things from the pond first. I'll drop by later."
"Well, I better go open the store. Thank you, Katniss."
He leaves me alone at the table. Greasey is off to take care of her grandaughter. I am alone with my thoughts when I notice Buttercup lying in the sunlight on the windowsill. He seems so much at home. So I should go back to the pond and get my things and move back into this house in the victor's village? I don't feel like a victor but this feels the most like home.
Ducking through the fence is stepping into the past; memories of hunting here with Gale fill the space beneath the canopy. As I walk, other memories come flooding back. I'm terrified for a moment, but somehow I feel stronger. I stop and look around at my familiar forest, and take a deep slow breath. I remember dancing with Prim at Finnick and Annie's wedding, Gale scaring off the deer on the reaping day. I remember waiting at the mine entrance when dad died, and the hunger afterward. I remember mom's withdrawal, Prim's terrified and shocked look at the reaping. More tears come as I remember singing to Rue. I remember Peeta looking into my eyes as we held the berries. I remember Clove about to kill me. I see Mags walking into the killing fog so that Finnick can carry Peeta. Then I see the hospital collapsing in district eight again, and the faces of the wounded. Then for an instant I smell Snow's white roses, I look around for those terrible mutts, but the forest is quiet, and I smell the earthiness of early fall.
I reach the concrete house and retrieve the thing that Cinna hid under the label of my uniform for my first hunger game. I hold the small metal pin in my hand all the way back to my house in the victor's village. Maybe it will become home. I put the pin on the mantle. The house is empty.
I decide to go see Peeta's new ovens. There is a lot of new construction, I decide to walk around a bit. I turn a corner and see Haymitch and Effie talking to some workers in the street. Haymitch waves and yells "Dinner tonight?" I nod and walk on. Peeta's bakery is just a block off the center of town. There are sidewalks everywhere. He's got some customers, so I wait outside. He has stacked loaves of bread in the window, and also has a cake in the center.
The customers leave, and Peeta grins "Come see the ovens." I smile, he seems genuinely enthusiastic about the ovens. I nod as he shows me. He really does like baking, then I remember that even Snow couldn't take that from him, the cake he made for Finnick and Annie was wonderful. He hands me a cookie, it has an icing of yellow dandelion, and asks if he can join me for dinner.
I nod "Haymitch has already invited himself."
I walk down the new main street to the end of town. School is just getting out. I don't recognize the teacher. As the kids run down the street, she says "Katniss, right?" I nod. "I'm Suzanne Undersee. The mayor was my brother. I've been living in District 6 for years. I had visited here several times before… Now I'm here permanently, to help. We got the school running, but we still need an afternoon activity for them a couple of days a week."
There aren't very many kids, but they are all ages. So the usual children's games won't work as an activity. I remember that I used to go to the meadow by the fence after school to play. When I was older, I'd run to the forest after school and gather herbs for mom.
We talk a bit more as we walk back to the center of town. When I see Greasey carrying a huge basket of herbs, I excuse myself and go ask her what she's doing. "Oh, your mother is always asking for plants. It seems that district two doesn't have any decent medicine. Your mother is trying to get them to build a factory here to make the medicines." I carry the bunch for Greasey, and we head to the victor's village for dinner.
Haymitch and Peeta show up together as Greasey and I are finishing cooking dinner. Well, she let me wash and chop vegetables and stir the stew. Haymitch sits, "Greasey, that smells good as always." She shoos me away from the kitchen, so I go to the table. Peeta pulls back a chair for me and holds it.
Haymitch and Greasey hesitate, I shrug and sit down "Thank you, Peeta." The room relaxes and we eat.
After we slow down eating, I turn to Haymitch "Suzanne Undersee says we need afternoon activities for the kids. How about teaching them to gather herbs for Greasey and about woodland skills?"
Haymitch looks at me, and then slowly smiles "Hunting used to be illegal, but I think that's a good idea, Katniss. Be sure to get the parent's permission. And use the older ones to look after the younger ones."
I shake my head "I'm not going to do all of this, Haymitch. I just thought it was a good idea. And maybe I could help."
Haymitch looks around the room "Katniss, who could do this better than you? Who could do this anywhere nearly as well as you?"
Greasey is smiling, Peeta is grinning. I glare at him "What?"
His eyes get wide for an instant, then he smiles "Katniss, he's got you. I told you he was running things now."
Haymitch "When can you start? Get some help with the kids, talk to Suzanne to find out which of the older kids would be most helpful. You can start next week."
I sit, dumbfounded. Peeta quietly says "Katniss, what else do you have to do?" I glare at him again, but he is right, I need something to do.
The next afternoon is bad. Memories follow me around the house, the bad memories. I walk to the mantle and pick up the pin. It reminds me there is more than just the bad. Then I realize that I spent the morning thinking about what to teach the kids in the forest, and not once did memories haunt me. But the afternoon is bad.
Geasey shows up to cook dinner and Buttercup shows up to get some treats. I retreat to my bedroom upstairs. Eventually I make some notes about what to do with the kids. After Haymitch and Peeta show up, I go down to eat with them. I ask Haymitch about archery equipment and he says that something can be arranged. Then he's out the door after giving Geasey a quick hug. Geasey tidies up the kitchen and leaves.
Peeta looks at me and says "You look tired."
I shrug "How was your day at the bakery?"
"More people are coming by each day. I got a request for a birthday cake. How did you sleep last night? Bad dreams?"
I push around the food on my plate "Not last night. Bad afternoon."
Peeta "The bakery keeps me busy during day."
I hesitate, but I'm afraid that it is going to be a long night "Could you stay tonight? Like at the training center?"
"Yes. That would help with my nightmares too."
We get up and clear the dinner table. I say "I don't think I can face all the parents to get their permission for the forest activity."
Peeta says "Katniss, get Haymitch or Effie to do that. You don't have to do everything. Maybe I could get Haymitch to fund some snacks for the the kids. Maybe that would help."
Late that night I jerk awake to Peeta saying my name.
He's holding me, "You were dreaming about the sewers." He's right, it was the rose smelling mutts in the sewers. "It's okay, Katniss, it's over." I sit up, Buttercup's on the foot of the bed, he looks around and goes back to watching the night. Peeta hugs me as I lie back down. I sleep until morning.
The next week, Suzanne introduces me to the school kids at the first activity day as Katniss Everdeen. I briefly explain what we are going to do and ask if there any questions. A young girl blurts out "Are you the Mockingjay?"
I take a breath "Yes, I was the Mockingjay for the revolution. But many people played other more important roles."
A young boy says "My father was a hero who fought and died in district two."
District two, where Gale sealed the mountain; where Coin tried to have me shot. I don't know what to say. "We need to honor our heroes by living well and remembering what they died for."
One of the oldest boys says "We should have a special way to remember them."
The oldest girl says "A day of remembrance."
Suzanne says "That is a good idea! We'll work on that tomorrow in class."
Two weeks later I'm wondering how I thought I could keep track of so many kids in the forest. Without the older ones, I would have already lost half of them. We are quitting for the day when I hear two of the younger girls singing as they are coming back with baskets of herbs. They are singing the familiar melody of the Hanging Tree. But the words are different.
"What's that you're singing?"
The youngest says "It's the wall song."
"Wall song?"
The older one says "It's written on the south wall of the Hall of Justice. What's left of it."
They walk on and I gather everyone together and do the count and send them home. We had spent a lot of time teaching them the names of plants and what they were for. Haymitch had succeeded in getting some bows and arrows made. Tomorrow we are supposed to start on archery.
On the way home I walk by where the old Hall of Justice had been. Not much has survived the bombing, but half of the south wall is still standing. It is smoke stained and dirty. I don't see anything written on it. I walk around to the other side and there, scrawled in charcoal, is
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where they gather all 'round
They say to honor thee.
Many things did happen here
The changes we did see
So we meet in sunlight
At the mem'ry tree
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where we give thanks
To those who made us free
Many things did happen here
The changes we did see
So we meet in sunlight
At the mem'ry tree
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where mockingjays
Echo our liberty
Many things did happen here
The changes we did see
So we meet in sunlight
At the mem'ry tree
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Join our necklace of hope
Side by side with me
Many things did happen here
The changes we did see
So we meet in sunlight
At the mem'ry tree
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where all the folk will go
To sing and dance with thee
Many things did happen here
The changes we did see
So we meet in sunlight
At the mem'ry tree
I stand there as the sun goes down and the air cools. I feel like someone has stolen the song my father taught me. But it is full of hope, which is something new for twelve. Another sign trying to tell me that the Hunger Games are over.
The next day when I arrive at the school to pick up the kids, I'm happy to see that the archery equipment has been delivered. The kids are thrilled! Haymitch has also provided hay bales. We set them up in the meadow and I take them through how to stand. After a few shots I tell them how to aim. Then I work with them individually. They want to keep practicing, but it gets too dark so we quit for the day.
After a week, the older kids are ready to head into the woods. I split them into two groups, point them in opposite directions, and tell them to stay together. Of course, they are still too noisy to actually see any game. But they get a lot more serious about the whole exercise. I had talked them through how to make a clean shot and a quick kill. I don't let the younger kids hunt, they don't need an early introduction to death. I stay with them and we practice making longer shots with the bows.
Two weeks later we have the first snow of the season. It is little more than a dusting. The groups aren't in the forest long when I hear Julie scream. I hear Rue in the net and I'm already at the edge of the forest before I realize that I'm running. Frank points me to the left. Julie has slipped on a tree trunk wet with snow and fallen and broken her arm or wrist. She has the same look that Prim had at the reaping. I take a breath, the kids need to learn how to handle emergencies.
"Frank, we'll make a litter and carry her to Greasey. Find two thick branches. The rest of you, find twisty vine. Suzy, tie it across the branches. Be careful everyone, it seems to be slippery today."
They turned from a group of frozen frightened kids into a task force with purpose. I kneel down and carefully hug Julie, "Let me see it, Julie." She is freezing. If it's a break, it's not too bad. But wrists injuries are complicated. I wrap my coat around her. "You'll be fine. I'm sure you could walk, but we're going to practice emergencies and get you back to town as soon as possible. How do you feel?" I put the back of my hand on her forehead like Prim did to patients. It feels cold. "That's good Frank, now please run tell Greasey what's happened and that we are coming."
Walking her back into town, I remember Prim at the reaping, so shocked and so scared. I had played with her and braided her hair and taken care of her, and she was chosen to die. Then I remembered singing to Rue as she died. I remember her eyes fluttering shut. I look at Julie, she is in pain, but seems alright. I tuck the coats around her. She gives me a weak smile. I return it with my most reassuring smile.
It turned out to be just a bad sprain. Suzanne later told me that the parents were happy about the woodland activities, and that stories had spread about what they had learned about emergencies.
Days later I get the idea for a book of memories from the kids gathering herbs and our family's plant book. The plant book was the place where we recorded those things you cannot trust to memory.
Each page of the book of memories begins with the person's picture. A photo if we can find it. If not, a sketch or painting by Peeta. Then, in my most careful handwriting, come all the details it would be a crime to forget. Lady licking Prim's cheek. My father's laughter. Peeta's father with the cookies. The color of Finnick's eyes. What Cinna could do with a length of silk. Boggs reprogramming the Holo. Rue poised on her toes, arms slightly extended, like a bird about to take flight.
Peeta and I work on the book through the long evenings of fall. We seal the pages with tears and promises to live well to make their deaths count. Haymitch eventually joins us, contributing twenty-three years of tributes he was forced to mentor. Over time, the additions become smaller. An old memory that surfaces. A late primrose preserved between the pages. New bits of happiness, like the photo of Finnick and Annie's newborn son.
Early winter, the woodland activities move indoors and change into lessons in food preparation and storage. Others teach this, but I remain involved. Afterwards, Peeta and I walk home together in the cold evenings. We cook dinner and then we spend the evening in front of the fireplace. One night, Peeta surprises me with a sketch of Prim holding Buttercup. My eyes fill with tears and I hug and kiss him. He kisses me back and suddenly there is only our kissing.
By the next spring the nightmares are far less frequent and we have grown together. Working with the kids has turned out to be more enjoyable than I had thought possible. I have grown close to several of the children and they often come to me with questions or to tell me how their day has been. It helps me feel more tied to the present. Greasey has been very grateful for the help with the plants. A couple of the kids have become quite good at finding what she needs.
By early summer the town has finally been completely rebuilt. The new crop fields are growing and the new medicine factory is finally ready for its grand opening. For weeks, Haymitch and Effie have been running about, making plans. The districts are being renamed and the date for the ceremony for District Twelve has arrived.
Paylor, Lyme, Gale, and my mother arrive by train. I hug my mother. She looks older than I remember. She studies my face "You look good, Katniss." Then she surprises me and turns to Peeta and opens her arms "You look good, too, Peeta." He hugs her and she whispers something in his ear. He smiles "District 12 has lots of hope now."
Peeta and I greet Paylor, Lyme, and Gale as Haymitch and Effie herd us all off the platform for the ride to the new inn. Peeta and I wave as they drive off and head home. I ask Peeta what my mother whispered. He smiles "She thanked me for giving you a bit of hope back. We should have her over for dinner." I shrug, then nod "That would be alright." Peeta "They have three days of tours, how about Thursday?"
Over the next three days, Haymitch and Effie show Paylor, Lyme, my mother, and Gale around the new construction and the new medicine factory.
On Thursday, my mother is waiting in the meadow as I finish up with the kids in the forest. We walk back to the victor's village. She says it's not so hard being back as she was afraid, everything's changed with the rebuilding. She asks about Peeta and our relationship. I'm taken aback, but when I glance at her she has a sly smile. I haven't seen her smile since before my father died. I find myself smiling back "We've grown close. We're helping each other cope with the memories." She nods "LIfe is better with someone, Katniss. How is working with the kids? Greasey says they have been very helpful with gathering the medicines." Katniss "They learn quick. But keeping track of them isn't easy." I realize it as I say it "I like their innocence." She hugs my shoulders, it feels good.
Later that evening when we are cooking, Buttercup rubs her ankles. She jumps and then kneels down and scratches him behind the ears "Hello Buttercup, I'm glad you found your way home too." I suppose we are all trying to find or make our homes again after the war. When she stands up, my mother's eyes are filled with tears "Prim loved that cat, Katniss. Getting them to let her keep him was a wonderful thing to do." We cry over Prim again.
After dinner my mother gets up and goes to the next room and returns with a box. "When I came by earlier today looking for you, I left this. It has some of your things. I have the plant book and the wedding photo, it's all that I have from your father. Her mention of the plant book reminds me and I show her the book of memories. We talk about memories of earlier happy times.
The next morning Gale drops by "Can I come in? I had some time free this morning and thought we could talk a bit." I nod "Of course, come in Gale. Greasey will be here in a few moments with lunch." He looks tired, older. "You look good, Katniss. You are doing well?"
"I'm healing. The new government seems to be keeping you busy."
He shrugs "I've ended up pushing papers around. It seems the only way to get things done. I'm organizing the home guards for the districts. Peeta has opened a bakery? He's doing well?"
"Yes, it's just north of the central square. He's healing too."
"I'm glad you both are doing well. I wanted to tell you that I'm going to ask Delly to marry me. I wanted you to hear it from me."
I'm a bit surprised. "Delly?"
Gale "Yes, we've grown close over the last year. She gives me perspective, keeps me reined in. And she's good with the politics that I find myself having to be involved with."
"That's good, Gale. I'm happy for both of you."
Gale "So Haymitch tells me that you and Peeta have grown closer."
He's not smiling, he really wants to know? "We have. You and I are too much alike, Gale. We each need someone different. I'm really happy for you."
Gale "And I'm truly happy that Peeta can give you what you need, Katniss."
We hug and he leaves, back to his duties for the new government. Gale and I will always have a bond, but this is a good step in our friendship that started so long ago in the forest, a good way to let go.
The next Wednesday is the renaming ceremony and the first "Remembrance Day". It happens in the meadow at the old oak tree that survived the bombing. Paylor gives a short speech officially changing the name of the district from thirteen to the name that the people have chosen, Apothecary Weald. A plaque on the tree is unveiled that honors those lost in the war and in the Hunger Games. And then the children sing the new version of the "Hanging Tree", which has become popular. Then Paylor announces lunch and everyone gets the food provided by the Capitol and prepared by Greasey's restaurant. Families spread over the meadow for the picnic.
Peeta, my mother, and I join Paylor, Lyme, Gale, Haymitch, and Effie. It is a bright, sunny spring day. We talk about the new government in the capital.
Afterward, Peeta and I walk around town. It looks so different for the old Seam. We talk about the Hob, we walk by where the mines were. We walk by where my old house and where the Mellark's bakery used to be.
That night Peeta wakes me up screaming. It's been awhile since this has happened, so today's ceremony has probably stirred up his memories. He's awake, sitting up in bed so I sit back against the headboard and pull him to me "Want to talk about it?" He shakes his head and relaxes into my lap. He's soon back asleep. I stroke his hair. I know that I'm not going to get back to sleep soon, today's ceremony has apparently stirred up my memories as well. They swirl around in the darkness; memories from the Hunger Games, the victory tour, the Quarter Quell, the war.
These fade and give way to more recent memories of working with the kids in the forest, living with Peeta, and talking with my mother and Gale. I remember my mother's comment that life is better with someone. Suddenly, I realize that I have a life to build.
I haven't really believed that I had a future since taking Prim's place at the reaping. Before that I suppose I had a future with Gale but that wasn't meant to be. I stroke Peeta's hair again. What's our future? I remember all we've been through. And I realize that it really is our future; I can't imagine a future without him or with anyone else. And I remember my mother's comment again. And a future with him finding someone else doesn't seem right at all. No one else could understand what he's been through. No one else will know him like I do.
I slowly realize that Gale was right, but not in the way he thought. I don't need Peeta in order to survive, and that's why I didn't see this before: I need Peeta for other reasons; I need him to listen when the kids in the forest are driving me crazy, I need him for my bad nights, I need him to pry me out of the shadows of the past. He brightens my life, he is my dandelion in the spring. I can survive without him, but it would be just that - survival. The future needs to be more than survival, and nobody else will give me that, nobody else can give me that.
I hug him as I realize that I'm the only one who can give Peeta what he needs, whatever that is. And whatever he needs from me, I'll try to provide from now on. Suddenly the night seems less dark. Buttercup jumps up on the bed and nestles into me. I whisper "Don't get too excited, there's no telling how this is going to turn out." He looks at me and settles into a ball.
It is late the next morning when I wake up. The sunlight is bright in the windows. It took me a while to fall back back to sleep last night. Lying there, I hear Peeta in the kitchen. I sit up, it is time to start building the future.
Walking downstairs, what I'm about to do is suddenly scary. What is Peeta going to say? How is this going to change our relationship? But my thoughts from last night return, it really needs to be our future.
I see the box that my mother left behind days ago and open it. Anything to delay this a bit. Inside is my father's hunting jacket, the spile from the Quarter Quell, and the locket that Peeta gave me to try to get me to live instead of him. And at the bottom I see the pearl. It was a pure, spontaneous gift, not a manipulation like the locket. It has to be our future. I pick it up and head into the kitchen.
Peeta turns to me as I enter the kitchen. He looks like he didn't get enough sleep either. I hold up the pearl for him to see "You know, if put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls." He grins. And I suddenly know that this is right, I love him. "And I need you because you do things like that. And I love you, damn you." He stands there, stunned. I hug and kiss him, and it is better than the kiss on the beach that day.
We eventually set our wedding date for the first of the following June. My mother moves back to the Weald in March to work at the medicine factory. Peeta and she get along well, we have her over for dinner nearly every week.
Three days before my wedding, Haymitch and Effie and Peeta and I greet Gale and Delly at the train station, and Annie and her son are with them. They settle in the inn. We have some nice dinners at Geasey's new restaurant and catch up on news of everyone.
A day before my wedding, Effie catches me in the morning and asks me to meet someone at the train station for her and get them to the inn. I agree, but she doesn't seem all that busy. I yell when Octavia, Flavius, and Venia step out of the train. They are as excited to see me. Octavia says "We simply couldn't let you get married without us! Effie arranged for us to come out here. And we brought a surprise."
"What?"
"Tomorrow morning. Where are we staying?"
I take them to the inn. Effie and Haymitch are there. I thank Effie for arranging for them to come for my wedding. We all talk and catch up on capitol news.
The next morning my prep team wakes me up early. They laugh and shake their heads "Getting you back to beauty base zero is going to take some time."
After some intensive work with the supplies and equipment they brought with them, Octavia says "Effie tells me that white dresses are traditional here in the Weald, but we thought you might want to consider this." She leads me to a bed where they've laid out a dress.
My eyes fill with tears and I whisper "Cinna", because no one else could have done such a dress.
Venia whispers "He did it while Snow had him working on wedding dresses. He said someday you should have a real wedding dress."
It is the most beautiful thing Cinna has ever made for me. It is white, trimmed in the colors of a fresh spring day in the forest. Flavius hugs me, they all hug me, and I hug them back.
They get me into the dress. Peeta's eyes are wide when he first sees me. He whispers "That's from Cinna isn't it. He always could see your beauty." Then we all go to the city hall to fill out the marriage forms. After, we lead everyone back to the victor's village. Haymitch, Effie, and Greasey have arranged a huge banquet for everyone.
After the meal, Peeta leads me in the first dance. Then Haymitch tells me that he thinks I'm finally going to be alright as he dances with me. I dance with Gale and many others, and I celebrate the Hunger Games truly being over.
Later that evening, everyone sings the traditional song as we go hand in hand into our house.
As we build the traditional first fire, we hear the celebration continuing outside. It's a good sound. Over the fire, we toast the traditional wedding bread Peeta made for the occasion. After sharing it and a sip of Apothecary Weald wine, we kiss. It's the beginning of our future.