Lily took a drag on her cigarette and slowly exhaled, the smoke swirling lazily in the moonlight. She was leaning against the stone window frame, her auburn hair cast into shades of silver and gray.

I coughed. "Um...hi?" I said awkwardly.

Mellowed by the smoke, she glanced toward me, her expression languid. "Oh. Hey, Dee. What are you doing here?"

I hesitated, then shrugged. "Just trying to find someplace to think."

"Mmmm." She sighed and leaned her head back against the wall. "Me too." She glanced over at me again, then held out a pack of cigarettes. "Smoke?"

"Um, sure." I took a step forward, then hesitated. "You're not going to bust me for it though, are you?" I smiled. "Y'know, what with the whole 'head girl' thing..."

She laughed. "I wasn't planning on it, no."

I nodded, took a cigarette and lit it with the tip of my wand. I'd only smoked once before but figured that I might as well try to play it cool. I took an experimental drag, coughed, and attempted to lean casually against the wall.

Lily, meanwhile, was gazing back out over the moonlit landscape. She sighed abruptly. "I don't know what to do," she confessed.

"Um." I coughed again, took another drag, coughed. As my mind grew abruptly clear and unconcerned, it occurred to me that these cigarettes might contain more than just tobacco.

Lily was still gazing plaintively out the window. "It's just...everyone keeps acting like of course I should just date him, but it's all so sexist and patronizing. What, he's entitled to me just because he's been saying so for the last 3 years?"

I squinted at my cigarette. "What's in these?"

She shrugged. "No idea. Confiscated them from a fourth year."

"Ah."

She glanced over at me. "And what are you here to mull over?"

"Er..." I hesitated. Truth be told, I was here to contemplate the lonely misery of my existence, my jealously over people like Lily - the haves, as it were - seeming to effortlessly glide through teenage social dynamics without a care in the world. I had intended to write a moody diary entry about how I wished someone would notice me, wished I had a boyfriend, wished I had the confidence to have a boyfriend, wished I were confident. It seemed a little gauche to admit it just now, though.

"How do you do it?" I asked instead.

She looked confused. "Do what?"

I gestured pointedly through the clouds of fragrant, moonlit smoke. "Be so confident all the time! Even when you're being neurotic and emotional, everyone still fawns over you. I just wish... I wish I knew how to do it."

She seemed to blush, though in the dim light it was hard to say for sure. Then she shrugged. "I'm not really confident about anything except my convictions. And lately they've all been shaken, so now I don't even have that."

I didn't really understand, but nodded anyway. "Shaken how?"

She sighed. "Well, if you must know, I kind of kissed Potter."

Despite myself, my eyes widened. "You did?" If nothing else, this was at least top-notch fodder for gossip. Maybe I could parlay it into getting someone to hang out with me. I needed more details. "When?"

She chuckled humorlessly. "Yesterday. We were patrolling the corridors and he was making a joke of everything, as usual, and then we thought we heard something in one of those side passageways and so I said we should go investigate and then he was right behind me in this tiny space and then he touched my hair and I turned around to tell him off and he put his finger to my lips and then stared down at me - he's really quite tall up close, did you know that? - and then sort of cautiously leaned in and I didn't stop him - I didn't stop him! - and then before I knew it he gave me this sort of questioning initial kiss and I couldn't help it, I kissed him back, and then before I knew it we were sort of snogging in this passageway, and then..."

She buried her face in her hands as I stared at her, wide-eyed. I coughed. "Er...and then?"

She gave a long, plaintive sigh, stubbed out her cigarette, lit another, and looked at me resignedly.

"Then Severus saw us."