Wheezing. A raspy, guttural sound that made Dave's jaw clench and his palms have a nervous sweat. There was a clicking and a whirring and the screen flashed blue, but finally, finally, the login screen popped up and the computer shut up. He hesitated, making sure Bro's snoring was still reverberating through the tiny apartment, and that the dusty desktop essentially going "HEY STRIDER, YOUR LITTLE BRO IS UP AT TWO O'FUCKIN' CLOCK IN THE MORNING BECAUSE HE'S A DUMBASS" hadn't woken him. Dave would be in serious trouble if he got caught, probably grounded from the computer for a solid month, and then…
GG: hi dave!
Then he wouldn't be able to talk to GardenGnostic. Jade Harley.
TG: sup
He was such an idiot. Didn't Bro tell him about internet creepers? GG could totally be a pervy old man waiting to shank him and mount him like a deer over a creepy pedo-fireplace. He talked to GG anyway, and tried to ignore the crazy butterflies he got when a message blipped up from them.
It all started around Halloween, when he posted a picture of his costume, Cyclops from X-men, to his blog. Most people loved that one, told him he looked sooooooo hot, but there was one person who commented on the second picture, the one of him and Bro as Cyclops and Havoc.
you guys look so happy! :D have fun!
It caught his eye. He looked happy? Looking back on it, he guessed it made sense, Bro had snapped a pic when he was cracking up before he had time to mold his face back into stoicness. It still stood out to him, and he clicked on her blog before he really realized what he was doing. Lots of gardening shit and scenery shots, a few of a large black dog, and tons of guns and robots. The profile said their name was Jade, but there were no gender specificities and no selfies. At this point, he assumed Jade was a very gay guy, but Dave didn't really care. He knew from all the thumping of his heart that he probably had a crush on them. If they weren't a creepy internet perv.
TG: youre not right
GG: no! I'm not an internet weirdo!
GG: how mean :(
TG: you sure
TG: awfully defensive
GG: omg you're such a butt! :P
TG: yeah yeah whatev
TG: am I ever gonna get to see your face
GG: as soon as I get a webcam :/
GG: which might be a while
GG: I kind of live on an island. Fedex takes a while.
TG: sigh
TG: why must you wound me so harley
GG: it gets worse :(
GG: i'm moving and can't use my computer for a couple of weeks
TG: nooooo
TG: harley no
TG: harley stop
TG: stop talking
It was eventually him that sent the first message, an ever-cool 'sup'. They talked like that for a month before exchanging messengers. They'd been off and on messaging basically every day since then, him staying up super late to talk to Jade and Jade waking up super early to message him. Timezones were a bitch.
GG: sorry dave! I wish I could talk more, I really do.
TG: sigh
TG: again
TG: double sigh
TG: youre killing me here jade
TG: virtually stabbing me through the chest
GG: so gory :(
GG: don't worry, i'll get my computer back in august!
TG: its may
TG: ITS MAY
TG: thats so many months from now
GG: sorry :(
GG: again :(
GG: i'll really miss you
Fluttering.
TG: yeah ill miss you too n shit
He went to sleep soon after that. Normally he'd look at the positives, he'd be on a normalish sleep schedule again, wouldn't be breaking one of Bro's few rules, etc., but he didn't want to. A whole summer of not talking to his best friend.
His only friend. God, so pathetic. What a sob story. It was gonna be great having three months to be with his thoughts and play his video games. Because that was all his social life was composed of.
Wonderful.
"Welcome back to another lovely year at high school, students!" The homeroom teacher exclaimed cheerfully, as Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades. New teachers always had sunshine and rainbows out their ass.
"Since it is the first day, we'll all go around and introduce ourselv-"
The door burst open, and a girl with long, black hair, huge, round glasses, and a cluttered bookbag flew into an empty seat.
"And you'll start." The teacher said with a tighter smile. "With explaining why you were late."
"Oh! I'm really sorry, there was a problem with my schedule, you see, they put me in regular science instead of advanced science, and choir instead of robotics, and um, then I got lost and stuff..."
"Name?" The teacher prompted, raising an eyebrow.
"Jade Harley."
Dave's head snapped up, eyes wide behind his sunglasses. Jade Harley ?! How many Jade Harley's can there be in the world?!
He took another look at the girl who said her name was Jade. She was trying to pull strands of hair out of her face, and was gathering it all into a messy ponytail with loops of unruly hair at the top that refused to cooperate. Her glasses really were huge, Harry Potter-like, and had thin silver frames. Had Jade ever mentioned having glasses? He couldn't get a good look at her eyes without breaking his neck, or even see the front of her at all, but he got a great view of her ass in tiny, dark shorts that were probably very much against dress code when the teacher made them circle up. Damn. This couldn't be his Jade, it was impossible. He'd been 99.99% sure Jade was a guy. His best friend! This was definitely just a freaky coincidence.
"Alright, you're next." She pointed to a boy with bi-colored glasses. Fuckin' weirdo.
"Sollux Captor." He had a lisp. Dave was sure he had a lisp, mostly because the kid gave a wicked glare to the entire room afterward, as if they were all being challenged to call him out on it.
"Vriska Serket." A blonde girl said loudly, confidently. A red head, who was practically on her lap, introduced herself as Terezi Pyrope. Just need a brunette and they'd be Charlie's Angels.
"Kanaya Maryam." A tall, quiet girl to his right said. Ah, yup. There's the brunette.
He hesitated before speaking. "Dave Strider."
Jade's head shot up and she stared directly at him, stunning him with her peridot-green eye, a bright green that felt like a laser beam. He watched her eyes flick over him, his hair, his torso, what she could see of his face. Dave suddenly felt very self conscious of everything. His cheeks were too chubby, he was covered in so many freckles that they formed a neon "HICK" sign, his limbs were too long and gangly, everything!
"Rose Lalonde," The girl next to him spoke, and Jade averted her eyes.
Fluttering. Just like I get with GG. They spent the rest of the time awkwardly looking at each other, at least until the teacher announced she was making a seating chart. Not like it mattered to Dave, he didn't talk to anyone in class anyway. Such a blossoming social life he had. He was waved along to a seat in the back of the classroom, a seat he was mildly pleased with. The girl with the black hair (he was avoiding calling her Jade) was sat smack dab in the middle of the very front. Dammit
"Excuse me," she said sweetly, "I'm far-sighted. Can I sit in the back please?"
The teacher nodded, and she eagerly picked up her stuff and scurried to the seat next to Dave. Slightly turning, he looked at her, who was barely containing a huge grin, biting her lower lip to try and keep it in.
"Can I help you?" He asked lowly. No reason to not be a pompous asshole if she wasn't his Jade.
"Um...I'm not sure." She said quietly, eyes still bright and excited. "You have the same name as a friend of mine."
"Do I look like him?" Dave drawled, heart beating fast. All clues were pointing to his Jade, why didn't he want to just say 'yes! It's me!'?
"Well, I don't actually know. I don't know what he looks like. We're internet friends." She ran her fingers through her ponytail shyly.
"That sounds totally safe. Not like he's a creeper or anything." Sarcasm dripped from every word.
"He says the same thing all the time!" She giggled, "What a coincidence, huh?"
Oh my god. She was so gullible! Had she actually fallen for that? He'd directly quoted himself. The idea was quickly growing in his mind; what if he didn't tell her? He could finally pull off a cool guy facade with her, meet her and get to know her all over again, she would most definitely fall for it.
Dave would pretend that trait wasn't cute.
"Yeah." It was short, clipped, and he was proud of himself until she frowned and turned away. What, did she want an actual conversation? Girls didn't want long conversations, they wanted cool guys with muscles they secretly worked all summer for! She'd come around. He was sure this would be hilarious when he eventually told her what a great joke he'd pulled.
Absolutely hilarious.
GG: dave!
TG: jade
GG: i'm back! :DDD
TG: I noticed
TG: how was the move
GG: loooong! :( my new school is okay though!
GG: my homeroom teacher is super nice!
Leave it to jade to love the happy happy joy joy teacher.
TG: awesome
TG: tell me more
GG: oh! I met this guy in that class too! He had the same name as you.
TG: oh hell naw
TG: there can only be one
TG: prepare to die strider 2
GG: he's kind of an ass honestly
GG: i'd much prefer it be you. strider 1 hehehe
GG: :P
Ouch.
TG: lets hope he doesnt hear that
TG: might hurt his poor lil ass feelings
GG: omg i've missed you :D
GG: i'm so glad I got my computer back!
TG: me too harley
TG: me too
I apologize if there's typos, this keyboard is really shitty. I got this idea in class the other day and just decided to roll with it? So please review and let me know what you think, and I'll go watch A.I. and braid bracelets. Love you guys.