revised 2 April 2003 Category: tag to episode Spoilers: Red Sky Season: 5
Summary: Jack's POV during the rocket/village scene
Disclaimer: don't own the characters or make any money

Author's Note: I just love the bit where O'Neill goes for Brother Malchus and wondered what was going through his head and why he allowed the others to changehis mind. This version is slightly revised from the one originally posted on jackfic list.

Seeing red by Roo

Carter and I were standing near the DHD where the last material had come through for the rocket. Men and machine had been busy for weeks on this thing trying to fix what we had done wrong in over-riding the gate to get here (once I had understood about Carter's piggy backed apples theory.)

We turned around and looked into the distance at the launch site. Damn but the rocket looked good. I didn't know how Carter and the General had done it, but they'd come up trumps once again.

I was sure that it would all work out, Carter was way smarter than me and I trusted her. I didn't want to be responsible for letting these people die. I had tried to tell them the truth about their faith in the god they called Freya - but they wouldn't listen to me.

"Is that smoke?" asked Carter, nudging me out of my thoughts.

Suddenly the rocket exploded with a huge flash shattering the quiet tranquillity and debris began to rain down. Carter and I immediately started to run towards the disaster site -other members of the science team following us to help out.

We did what we could and then we set off back to the town. I couldn't believe it, this had been done deliberately. This was sabotage. I suddenly remembered what Brother Malchus had said a few weeks back, when he opposed the building of the rocket.

'If you can't see that the Gods wish you to leave, we will be forced to make it clear on their behalf'

Innocent men – natives and some of ours had died and been badly injured. I was on auto pilot, I zoned out. I know Carter was there, her voice beside me like a faint bee buzzing, as she struggled to keep up with my fast and furious pace. I wasn't stopping for anybody. No way. No how. I was a man on a mission to beat the crap out of whoever had done this to my people.

Reaching the town square I had presence of mind to hand the P90 to Teal'c.

"What happened?" asked Daniel

"Someone set a fire," began Carter

"Anybody hurt?"

"We lost two members of SG6, the rocket was destroyed," explained Carter sadly

Throwing my cap to the ground, I ploughed straight into Brother Malchus.

"You STUPID son of a bitch!" I shouted grabbing the front of his jacket, knocking him to the ground.

He smiled "The Gods have spoken"

"You've just killed two of my men and screwed up your whole planet!" I snarled at him

"Two of our brothers also gave their lives to serve the Gods," he countered.

"You coward!" I shouted at him.

I lost it – I saw red; I punched him hard "Why did you kill yourself? Why?"

It was so satisfying to hit him it really was. I wanted more. It got worse- he smiled at me again

"I would gladly die to serve the Gods."

The bastard was pleased with what he'd done, I lost it again…

"Then maybe you should…" I said as I pulled my 9mil from its holster, unlocked the safety and held it to his chest.

Just give me a reason, please

"Jack!'" not NOW Daniel...

"Sir!" not you too Carter...

"Stop! Brother Malchus acted without my knowledge,"shouted the first Flamen Elrad, a horrified expression on his face.

"More death serves no one," he pleaded

I struggled with what he was saying- I could feel the eyes of my team boring into me waiting to see which way I'd go. Hell, at this second I didn't know myself.

Images of the rocket site filled my eyes. Blackness burning, the smell of burnt fuel, hot metal and charred flesh. Fire and red. Moans of pain and grief.

I've seen death in many ways - in battle, from friendly fire, suicide, children dead (God help me I really knew that one). Fanatical death, religious fervour was always difficult to understand, but no matter what- dead was still dead. And I hated it.

Yes, we'd made an arrogant mistake, being so clever in forcing the computer to bypass protocols. We were trying to put it right- with no help from the Asgard (thanks a bunch guys- so much for saving your little grey butts).

The thing was I really wanted to pull the trigger. It would be so easy, immediate relief. I was so in the zone to do it- the hard ass Colonel was back. Anything to forget the pain and red that I'd seen at the rocket site.

I'd done this before - for the country in Special Ops. Could I do it in broad daylight (or should that be red light…) with my guys watching me? This wasn't some sneaky stealthy insertion. We'd met these guys and talked nice. This was only one warped apple.

Seconds ticked by… the red haze lifted and I slowly clicked the safety back on and put the weapon away- all the time my eyes still boring into the face of Brother Malchus. I wasn't going to do it.

Hotdamn.

"More death is exactly what you people are going to get." I said quietly but firmly.

I got up. I was still mad though. I turned around and roughly pushed past Daniel, Teal'c and Carter. As I went by Teal'c I got my P90 back. Furious, I headed back to the Gate where the injured were still being dealt with, my team trailing with me. I stormed towards the DHD.

Forget it. Had it with this place, fuck it. Leave 'em to die their own way. Just don't take any more of mine with you.

"Jack, stop! We can't leave!" pleaded Daniel.

"The HELL we can't! Carter dial it up. Let's get these people home."

"Sir?"

"That's an ORDER!" God - don't make me lose it with you guys as well

"Jack, would you ...Stop!" tried Daniel again

"They killed two of my men!" I shouted back at him

"Yes, they did. But not all the people are responsible for that."

"I really don't care." I replied meaning it.

"Well, I do." said he, meaning it just as much, probably more knowing him.

Dammit Daniel what are you trying to do to me here? For cryin out loud

"Leaving right now would be reprehensible." he continued.

Then Carter and Teal'c joined in with their opinions. What was this crap? Mutiny in the ranks? No - just my team being themselves. They didn't know it but I was wavering. I decided to give it one last shot. Prove me wrong why don't you?

"All right! We made the first mistake. We were gonna fix it. Is it obvious only to me that these people don't want help?" I stated, daring them to give me other options when I was all ready to leave the people and the planet to its fate.

However, the others on the team wanted to give them one more chance. We still had some time to try again apparently. The others wanted me to see daylight and for the people on the planet to see daylight. We could give them a few options – relocation perhaps, and Carter's next best guess with the Maclarium.

I sighed and let them. They were the ones whose soul and morality wasn't crumpled and tarnished like mine after all the things I'd done.

One last chance and they could face their god Freya/Asgard- whatever- and death on their own terms. That I could understand. Who knows, it might just work.