Title: 12 Days of Christmas
Rating: PG (for now, anyway)
Summary: Clark and the gang get snowed in while on Christmas vacation. Whatever will they do? How will they keep from killing each other?
Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville, the characters, or any other show/book/movie etc mentioned herein. Sad, I know.
Prologue
"No! That's my favorite sweater!"
"What does anyone want for dinner?"
"If you want it, come and get it!"
"Hey! Watch where you're going! You almost knocked over my CD player!"
"Don't make me come in there!"
"I'm not kidding! Give that back, now!"
"I say we order out for pizza. I'm not eating anymore casseroles."
"Turn that music down! I'm trying to work out these figures!"
Bang
Crash
Gasp
Silence.
Groan
"Shit! Clark, you destroyed my CD player!"
OOOOO
One week earlier...
The idea to take a vacation had been Chloe's. She felt that they could all use a break, although everyone knew she was dieing to get out of Smallville, no matter how temporary it was. Pete and Clark agreed, more than ready to get away from all the weird things that had been going on. Lana was in too. Working at the Talon was not turning out to be the dream job she had originally thought it would be. Lex also felt that he could use some time away from work and, more importantly, his father. Having nothing better to do, Whitney decided to tag along and spend some quality time with Lana. As to where and when, Lana wanted to go to the mountains and ski. Lex offered the use of his family's house in Colorado, as well as his jet for transportation. Pete suggested going during Christmas break, giving them two weeks to get away.
Coming up with the idea was easy. Getting their parents to go along with it was another thing all together. In the end, however, they managed to get permission. So here they were, in a house in Colorado, for the next two weeks. Only one problem. The second day they were there they woke up to a nightmare. They were snowed in, due to a blizzard the night before, and nobody knew when they would be able to get out. Until then, the six of them were stuck inside. That is, if they were able to survive that long without killing each other.
A Partridge in a Pair Tree (December 21st)
Life here was becoming almost like an episode of Big Brother. Which, strangely enough, Whitney seemed to have an obsession for. It was the second day of their imprisonment and boredom had set in. This resulted in 'creative' ways to keep busy.
Early that morning, bored out of their minds, Pete and Clark went into Lex's office, took two of his remote controlled racecars off the shelf, and set them on the floor. Smiling at each other maniacally, they counted down.
"Three..."
"Two..."
"One...Go!"
Off the cars flew, Clark and Pete following along behind as they steered them. They raced through the study, down the hall, and into the kitchen, nearly tripping Lana, who was in the middle of fixing herself some toast. Trying to maintain her balance, she dropped the jar of preserves. It smashed all over the spotless floor in a red, sticky glob. Just as this happened, Clark and Pete entered, having followed the cars. Their smiles disappeared, replaced by looks of shock and guilt, upon seeing the mess on the floor. Over by the counter were the two cars. After racing past Lana they had crashed, crushed on impact.
Glancing at the mess and then glaring at Clark and Pete, Lana went out the kitchen door in search of something to clean up. Seconds after shutting, the door opened again to reveal Lex, looking at them with a worried look on his face. "What happened? I heard-" Before he could continue, he noticed the broken jar of preserves on the floor, the two totaled cars in the corner, and the sheepish looks on the faces of Clark and Pete. Getting some idea of what had happened he raised his hand saying, "I don't want to know." turned around, and left. Clark and Pete just looked at each other and shrugged. Laying down the remotes from the wrecked cars, they too left the kitchen, not wanting to be there when Lana came back.
OOOOO
In the living room, Chloe was seated on the sofa in her pajamas, talking to Whitney about the conspiracy behind candy canes. "Have you ever noticed how candy canes can only be found around Christmas? I think it's a conspiracy to horde the world's candy cane supply and eventually sell them at higher prices for profitable gain." She looked at Whitney, silently daring him to challenge her.
Carefully choosing his words, he responded. "Who exactly would be hording them?"
Giving him a look that clearly said she thought he was stupid, she answered with "The same people who used to horde Peeps." He nodded his head, as though that made all the sense in the world.
Having successfully helped in wrecking two remote controlled cars, Pete entered the living room, receiving a look from Whitney that clearly said, "Help!" Chloe just smiled one of her brilliant smiles, looking as innocent as possible. Seeing as this could only turn out badly, Pete slowly turned around and walked out of the room, in search of something to do that would not result in Chloe killing him.
Leaving the living room, Pete headed upstairs to the bedroom he shared with Clark and Whitney. Chloe and Lana shared the one next to it, and Lex had the one down the hall all to himself. Each room had enough beds and dressers for the number of occupants, as well as a small TV, and a decent size closet.
In the room were three beds, two of which were extra-long and bunked. Pete had the top bunk and Clark had the bottom bunk. The other bed was a queen-sized bed which Whitney had claim on. They had decided who would sleep where by playing rock, paper, scissors.
Upon entering the room, he saw Clark digging through his clothes in his dresser drawer. "What are you looking for Clark?" Pete asked bewildered.
Without looking up, Clark answered. "I'm trying to find my notebook. I can't figure out where it is."
Pete laughed. "And you think it's in my clothes?"
Clark stopped, glared at Pete, and continued searching. "No. I laid it down on the nightstand and now it's missing. I figured it couldn't hurt to check here while I was looking."
Again, seeing only a dead-end, Pete walked out of a room he had just entered.
OOOOO
Sitting back in his leather chair in his office, feet propped up on his desk, Lex sighed. This was turning out to be a very tiring day, and it was not even noon yet. Two of his remote controlled racecars were ruined, the upstairs was a complete shambles due to Clark's frantic search for his notebook, and Whitney was hiding in the downstairs closet singing what, oddly enough, sounded like Kumbaya (he still was not sure what that was about). He could see that he would be spending a lot of time in here, just to get away from the noise and chaos around him. However, for the time being, fate seemed to be against him. Hearing a loud crash, he got up out of his chair, walked over to the door, and beat his head against it several times before opening it. Unsure that he wanted to know what had happened this time, he went off anyway.
Walking in the direction the sound came from, he ended up outside the living room door. He could not hear anything out of the ordinary, though he knew that did not mean anything. Unsure as to what he would find, he cautiously opened the door and looked in. Sitting on the sofa were Pete and Lana, both of whom were watching what appeared to be a basketball game on the TV. This puzzled Lex. There appeared to be nothing unusual or disastrous. Nevertheless, he knew he had heard a crash. Hmm...He walked in front of the TV, arms folded across his chest, staring at Pete and Lana with one eyebrow raised up.
"What?" Pete asked, as though nothing were wrong.
Lex knew better though. "I want to know what that crash was."
"Crash? What crash? I didn't hear any crash. Did you Lana?"
Lana, turning down the volume on the TV, looked shocked, all the while shaking her head. "No. Was there a crash?"
Lex sighed. "Look, I know something happened, resulting in a 'crash', and I know you two know what it was. Now, you had better tell me. Try the truth this time."
Pete and Lana looked at each other, having a silent conversation through facial expressions. One said, "You tell him!" while the other said "I'm not going to tell him. You tell him!" Meanwhile, Lex gave them his own look. The one that said, "Well, I'm waiting." Seeing that he would find out one way or another, even if it meant literally dragging it out of them, the story came out.
"Well, you see, it was like this. I came in here because Clark was...well, that's beside the point. Anyway, I came down here to keep from being killed, because honestly, I'd rather deal with Chloe than Clark. When I entered I saw that Lana was in here-"
"I came in just as Whitney left. He was screaming something about 'Communist Santas' or something. I don't know where he is, but Chloe left right behind him looking very happy."
'That sort of explains why Whitney's hiding in the closet.' Lex thought.
"Well, Lana and I thought we'd turn on the TV and see what was on."
"Yeah, when we came to the basketball game, Pete said he'd like to watch it."
"I like basketball. I guess you could say it's a bit of an obsession. Anyway, the guy was fouled out. I mean, how stupid can you be?"
"So Pete got a little...He lost his temper."
"Is that what the crash was?" Lex asked a little frustrated.
"No. Not exactly." Pete said. "It seems that the sound of the game had attracted Whitney's attention, because he came in. When I lost my temper, he decided to leave as soon as possible. I guess he was still a bit freaked."
"He ran out the door. Then there was the crash, which you heard."
Lex massaged his temples, willing away the headache he could feel forming. "Ok. Whitney left the room. Then what happened?"
Pete and Lana looked at each other sheepishly. "We, um, don't exactly know. After the crash, we felt it was best to stay in here." Lana stated with a small smile on her face, silently praying he did not get angry or irate.
"You don't know?" He started laughing. "They don't know." Heading to the door, he repeated it, laughing even louder. "They don't know." Leaving the room, he could be heard laughing all the way down the hall.
"I think he's finally lost it. What little he had left to lose." Pete said, feeling a small amount of pity. Lana nodded her head in agreement, with a look of worry on her face.
"Is he gone?" The two looked at each other, then over to the direction the voice came from. There, on the other side of the room, slowly standing up from behind the other sofa was Clark.
Lana eyed him before asking what both she and Pete were thinking. "What were you doing back there Clark? Better yet, how long have you been there?"
Clark thought about it a few minutes, carefully choosing his response, before answering. "I snuck in and hid back here while you were in the middle of telling Lex your story. I must say, it was very entertaining. Anyway, I was trying to stay clear of Chloe. She's decided to make cookies and she needed someone to test them when she's done. As I was walking down the hall, Whitney ran into me. Literally. I ended up knocking over one of the swords lining the wall. Lucky it didn't hit Whitney, or he would have been speared."
This was more than they needed to hear. Not even giving a response, they sat back down on the couch, turned the volume back up, and went back to watching the game.
OOOOO
As Clark had said, Chloe was in the kitchen attempting to make cookies. She had never tried to make these before, but given her past record cooking, her chances of succeeding were slim and none, and none had just left town. Frustrated, she started rummaging through the cupboards, tossing aside the objects inside in her frantic search. "Now, where in all of this stuff is there a cookbook?" Just as she was about to give up looking, she found one. Flipping through the book, she found a recipe for chocolate chip cookies. Taking her finger, she scanned down the list of ingredients needed. "Hmm...Eggs, flour, milk..."
OOOOO
After the basketball game had ended, Pete, Lana and Clark started flipping channels. Seeing nothing else on, they decided to watch the Godzilla Movie Marathon. Nobody could quite figure out why it was on so close to Christmas or why there was not a single holiday movie to be found on TV.
"If Godzilla took on the Mummy, who do you think would win?" Lana asked.
Clark scoffed. "Easy. It would be the Mummy. He's got that whole dead-immortal thing going on."
She laughed at his choice of words. "Dead-immortal?"
"Well, yeah. Think about it. He's dead and immortal."
"Not to mention that seems to be a bit of an oxymoron. How can he be dead if he's immortal?"
"He's immortal because he's dead." Clark explained, causing Lana to look at him in disbelief.
Lana rolled her eyes and sniggered. "The phrase you're thinking is Living-dead. Besides, this would be undead, not living or immortal dead."
"You know, I always preferred Hydra." Pete declared suddenly, changing the topic.
"Hmm. He was pretty cool." Clark agreed. "Godzooki was cooler though."
"Godzooki was cute." Lana stated.
Pete stared at her. "You wouldn't think that if he was causing death and destruction where you lived."
"I don't think that's going to be a problem anytime soon."
"You never know. These things happen without warning."
About forty-five minutes into the first movie, Chloe came in covered with flour and what appeared to be cookie dough, carrying a plate of the cookies she had made. With one of her brilliant smiles, she offered the plate. "Hey! I made some cookies. Who wants to try some?"
All three were hesitant, carefully considering their options. Did they really want to die from food poisoning? Although, Chloe would kill them if they did not. Their odds were better with the cookies than Chloe. They each took a cookie and cautiously bit into it. After slowly chewing and swallowing, they looked at each other, and then down to the cookies in their hands. Meanwhile, Chloe watched nervously, slightly afraid of their reaction to her cooking.
"Yum! Chloe, these are good. Like really good!" Pete exclaimed, grabbing another cookie off the plate.
"Yeah Chloe. Where did you learn to cook like this?" Clark agreed.
"Oh, um, you know. Around." Chloe said, grateful that her cookies had come out this good.
"You're going to have to teach me to cook like this." Lana said, finishing off her cookie.
Chloe blushed, happy to be receiving this kind of response. "Thanks!" Laying down the plate of cookies, she went upstairs to change out of her clothes and into some cleaner ones.
As soon as she had left the room, they let out a sigh of relief.
"Alright. All in favor of never letting her cook again?" Lana asked.
"I!" Clark and Pete said together, raising their hands.
OOOOO
That afternoon, Lex went into his office to go over the finances for LexCorp, deciding to do something constructive rather than something destructive. Clark was now cleaning up the mess he had made of the upstairs while Pete looked on in amusement. Lana had moved to the library, where she was snuggled into a chair, reading a book. Chloe, as well as Whitney (who had finally come out of hiding after Chloe explained she had just been trying to psyche him out), were in the living room listening to some music on his CD player.
Checking the time, Lana got up and went to the kitchen to make dinner. Upon reaching the kitchen, a shout could be heard from upstairs, followed by the sound of feet pounding down the stairs.
"No! That's my favorite sweater!" Pete yelled from the top of the stairs.
Trying to stop the impending fight before it began, Lana yelled out from the kitchen. "What does anyone want for dinner?"
Ignoring her, Clark egged Pete on. "If you want it, come and get it." He then took off again, this time running into the living room, Pete hot on his trail.
"Hey! Watch where you're going! You almost knocked over my CD player!" Whitney yelled in warning as they raced by.
Having heard the noise coming from the living room, Lex laid his head in his hands for several seconds before raising it and shouting down the hall. "Don't make me come in there!" Sometimes he felt as if were babysitting children.
"I'm not kidding! Give that back, now!" Pete called after Clark, as he chased him around the room, not hearing Lex, in his attempt to get back his sweater.
"I say we order out for pizza. I'm not eating anymore casseroles." Chloe finally answered from her spot on the couch in the living room. She had given it careful consideration, and had concluded that even if she had to dig her way out and crawl every step of the way, she would do so before eating another one of Lana's casseroles.
Not only had the noise not decreased, but Whitney had also turned up the volume on his CD player to combat the noise level coming from Clark and Pete. Of course, Lex was unable to concentrate and had heard this. Getting up from his desk, he walked down the hall to the living room. "Turn that music down! I'm trying to work out these figures!" he shouted. However, it was too late.
Bang
Crash
Silence
Gasp
Groan
The inevitable had happened. "Shit! Clark, you destroyed my CD player!"
Clark looked apologetic. "Sorry Whitney."
Pete tried, though unsuccessfully, to stifle a chuckle. This caused him to receive a glare from both Whitney and Clark.
Chloe just looked stunned at what had happened, which was somewhat shocking in itself, given events over the past few hours.
Lana had heard what had happened from the kitchen, but wisely chose to stay where she was and continued making dinner. Odds of tonight's concoction being casserole were very high, given the contents of the refrigerator.
From his spot in the doorway, Lex sighed and shook his head. He turned around and left, causing the room's other four occupants to stare and, quite conveniently, allowing Clark and Whitney to silently come to a truce, however temporary.
When Lex returned several minutes later, he had a box in his hands. Pete, Clark, Chloe and Whitney looked at him from their spot on the sofa. The looks on their faces had gone from ones of dread and worry, to ones of interest and curiosity.
"So, Lex, what's in there?" Chloe pointed at the object in his hands, eager to find out.
"Well," Lex drew out, "you'll just have to look in the box and find out." Having said this with some satisfaction, he opened the box and sat it on the table. The four on the sofa got up and gathered around the table on their knees. Inside the box were...
"Crayons?" Clark asked tentatively.
"Yes. Crayons. I figured you could do something that was a little less destructive. Just as long as you remember, you can only color on the paper. I don't want you doodling on each other." Lex managed all of this with a somewhat stern look, though if truth were told, he was actually enjoying this. In fact, he had gotten to the point where he was not completely sure he cared if they colored on each other. Or the walls for that matter. Moreover, that was scary.
Chloe, however, did not think Lex was as upset as he seemed. Therefore, she decided to test the waters and see if she could push him a bit. "But that takes away my creativity. It may be the thing that makes or breaks me as an artist. In the years to come, when people say, 'What ever happened to that Chloe Sullivan?' I can look back and think, 'If only I had been allowed to freely express myself through crayons, I could have been something great.' All of which can be blamed on you."
Lex smiled, amused by Chloe's antics. "That's just a chance I'll have to take. Besides, I thought you wanted to be a star reporter, uncovering the truth in the world."
"Yeah, well this could scar me for life! My creativity could forever be suppressed from the world because of this!" Chloe stated dramatically, clutching the pillow behind her.
"Just color, alright? Take your creativity and let it fly." Lex said, turning around to leave. "On the paper though." he added as an afterthought.
"Aren't you going to color with us?" Pete asked teasingly, a smile on his face.
"Nope. Sorry children, but I've got work to do." Said Lex, arms crossed.
"Oh, but it just wouldn't be the same without you, Lex." Clark said with a fake pout.
"Remember, you are on vacation." Whitney joined in.
"Hmm...Let me think it over." Lex said, pretending to pause and think about it. "I don't think so. However, as you so kindly reminded me, I am on vacation. Therefore, I think I will sit here and relax. Maybe watch your creativity in action." Having said this Lex went over and took a seat on the abandoned sofa, interested in what they would do.
Chloe grabbed several sheets of paper and reached for the box of crayons. "Hmm, do I want the blue or the green?"
"I want the blue!" Pete exclaimed, interrupting Chloe's musings.
"Ok." Chloe said with a shrug, taking the blue and green crayons out of the box. Reaching across the table, she handed Pete the blue one. "Which one do you want, Clark?" Chloe asked, turning to her left to look at him.
Without pause, Clark answered. "Red."
Chloe took the red crayon and gave it to him. "Whitney?" she asked, looking to her right.
Whitney carefully thought about it before responding. "Um, I guess I'll take the purple."
Handing Whitney the purple crayon, she laid the box down and turned her attention to her paper, trying to determine what to draw. "Think, think, think..."
"Since when did we end up at Pooh's Thoughtful Spot?" Whitney asked. Clark and Pete heard this and tried not to laugh.
Chloe glared at them for several seconds before her face lit up. "That's it! Thanks for the idea Whitney!" Turning all of her attention back to her paper, she started drawing.
"Uh, what exactly did I-" Whitney started before Pete interrupted.
"Don't ask. We're all a lot better off not knowing."
Clark, meanwhile, sat merrily humming 'Jingle Bells' as he doodled on his sheet of paper.
Lex looked up from the magazine he had picked up off the table a few seconds before. He glanced at Clark before going back to the article titled "Abyss: How to Survive a Black Hole." Not that he planned to encounter a black hole anytime in the near future, but one could never be too careful. Now if only he could find an article on how to avoid an alien abduction...
"Hey Lex! What would you call this?" Pete asked, holding up Whitney's drawing, receiving a glare in return.
Before Lex could respond, Whitney took the paper out of Pete's hands and held it defensively to his chest. "I'll have you know that this is a picture of a goat," he said indignantly.
"That's a goat?" Chloe asked incredulously, having stopped what she was doing. "Since when are goats purple?"
"I can have a purple goat if I want. Besides, what is yours supposed to be?" he asked, trying to get a look at Chloe's drawing.
Holding hers up proudly, she responded with, "Mine is a picture of Piglet. As an elf."
"A green Piglet?" Clark asked. "Very creative Chloe."
"Thanks." Chloe then stared dreamily into space. "Isn't it prettiful?"
"Is that even a word?" Pete inquired skeptically.
"I'll get the dictionary!" Jumping up, Whitney went off in search of a dictionary.
"So, Clark, what'd you draw?" Chloe asked, curiosity taking over.
"A, uh, dog." He held up his picture, somewhat hesitantly.
"That's...great Clark." Pete said, trying to keep a straight face.
Clark grinned. "I thought you were supposed to be my friend."
"Yeah, well this goes beyond friendship."
Hearing this, Clark rolled his eyes. A few minutes later, Whitney entered, holding open a dictionary, his finger pointed on the page under p. "The word prettiful is not in the dictionary," he smugly confirmed.
"It should be." Chloe got up and walked over to Whitney. She grabbed the dictionary out of his hands and looked at it. Walking back over to her spot on the floor, she took the green crayon she had been using, and wrote the word prettiful in the margin under pretty. "Prettiful. A word meaning to be pretty."
"You can't use the word you are defining in its definition." Lex stated, finally taking part in the conversation.
Chloe thought about this for a few seconds before scribbling in the dictionary, yet again. "A word meaning to be nice looking." She seemed very pleased at her ingenuity.
"I suppose that works." Whitney said, having returned to his spot.
Chloe looked up at Lex. "Well?"
"You are a regular Shakespeare Chloe." This earned Lex a smile from her.
Pete was confused. "Huh?"
"Shakespeare created many of the words we use today. Which is what I did. I created a word, which will one day become a household commodity." Chloe explained.
"It sounds as though you've created a new spot remover or something."
"Besides, we're the only ones who've even heard of it. That's not exactly going to make the worldwide circuit." Whitney pointed out.
Considering this, Chloe came up with a solution. "I'll start a campaign! Everybody will know and use my word." She looked as though she had just discovered the cure for cancer.
This freaked Pete and Whitney out a little. Clark hoped it was just a passing faze, and Lex went back to his magazine, pretending he had not heard what she had said.
Chloe took her picture and wrote the word 'prettiful' across it with a pink crayon. She then ran out of the room, carrying her picture. After a couple of minutes, she returned. "There. It's now on the refrigerator."
"How exactly does that help your cause?" Whitney asked, slightly confused.
"Well, if you guys see it enough, then you'll start using it. That will lead to other people hearing it, and then they'll use it too."
Lex looked up from his magazine again. "Basically, you're hoping for a chain reaction."
She smiled. "Uh, yeah."
"Hey, if Chloe can put her picture on the refrigerator, then so can I!"
"Pete, I don't think Lex wants that picture of - What is it? A cat? - on his refrigerator." Whitney advised. "Or your dog." he added, looking at Clark.
Clark laughed and Pete looked offended.
"I'll have you know that this is a picture of a blue alien. Like the kind in that song 'Blue' by Eiffel. It is not, however, a cat." Pete huffed, causing Clark to laugh even louder.
"Because it looks just like an alien. I can see how Whitney confused it as a cat."
"I still say that if your picture can go on the fridge, so can mine." With that, Pete took off, picture in hand, to hang it next to Chloe's.
"Alright. That was interesting." Lex commented.
Pete came back in with a smug look on his face, sitting down in his spot on the floor.
With a very thoughtful look on his face, Whitney looked at Chloe, then Pete, and then back to Chloe. After thinking for several seconds, he got up, heading to the kitchen to tack his picture on the fridge with the others. When he came back, he sat back down, looking satisfied despite the amused looks on the other four faces.
"Clark, you may as well put your picture on my fridge too. Seeing as everyone else has. In addition, I doubt that they will be coming down anytime soon. I value my life more than that, thank you very much."
Looking up from his new work of art, Clark shook his head. "That's alright. Really. I'd rather not have my 'artistic talent' up for the world to see."
"Hey, we're now classified as the world, Pete."
"What about me?" Whitney asked.
"You can be the sun and Lex can be the moon." Chloe answered, looking from first one and then to the other.
Lex was amused. "The moon? You mean that I amnot the sun? Or even the whole galaxy for that matter?"
Chloe pretended to be apologetic towards him. "Sorry Lex, but Whitney makes a much better sun, don't you think? And even you aren't big enough to be a galaxy."
Pretending to think this over, Lex gave his response. "He does make a better sun, doesn't he? So bright and cheerful!"
"Alright, I give up. You can stop making fun of me now." Whitney said with a fake sigh, causing everybody to laugh.
"Hey guys! Dinner's ready." Lana called out from the kitchen.
Getting up, they walked out of the living room and down the hall to the dining room.
"I really hope it's not another-" Pete started.
"Casserole." Chloe interrupted with a groan, seeing the dreaded substance on the table before them.
OOOOO
After picking through their dinner, Clark, Pete and Whitney went upstairs to their bedroom. It was halfway through the second movie in the Back to the Future marathon that the conversation got started.
Pete looked away from the screen. "Wouldn't it be cool to have a time machine?"
"Uh, I'm not sure I should ask this, but why?"
He stared at Clark as though he had a few screws loose. "So I can wash my clothes in it...To go back in time! What'd you think?"
"We kind of gathered that much." Whitney said. "What he means is why you'd want to go back in time."
"Well why would you want to go back in time?" Pete countered.
He sat and thought about it carefully before answering. "I don't know?"
Clark laughed. "Great answer."
"Well, what would you do if you had a time machine?" Whitney wondered, curious.
'Hmm...' Clark thought. 'Where would I go?' He could always go back to a time before his planet had been destroyed. Although he could not tell Whitney that. Then, there was always...nope, he was not going there. Therefore, he settled for: "I'd go to the future to see what I become."
"Do you even watch the movies?" Pete asked. "That could destroy the whole space-time continuum. Or something."
Clark grinned. "Alright Mr. Wise-Guy, what about you? Where would you go?"
Having thought about this, Pete knew what to say. In his mind, his answer was perfect. "I would go back in time and play basketball with the greats. The legends that made the game what it is today." He paused for a few seconds, as if thinking this over, and then grinned. "Although I could also go forward in time and get some chicks. Oh the possibilities!"
Clark and Whitney just sighed and shook their heads.
Pete was struck by an idea. "I know! Why don't we build one?"
This did not bode well.
"One what?" Clark asked, as if he did not know what Pete was talking about.
"A time machine!"
Pete began going over all of the specifics of how they would accomplish this. Something about plutonium, a stopwatch, and one of Lex's cars. No, this did not look good at all. Especially the part about the plutonium mixed with one of Lex's cars. If the plutonium did not kill them, Lex would. Although it did not seem as though stopping Pete was much of an option either. Just hope for the best. Moreover, if that did not work, it appeared that they would be barricading themselves in the downstairs bathroom for quite some time.
"So, Pete, have you ever done this before? It seems a bit...dangerous."
"Again, did you even watch the movies? Of course, it's dangerous. But that's what's so fun about it!"
Walking out of the bedroom, Pete went off in search of supplies, leaving Clark and Whitney with dumbfounded looks on their faces.
"So, Whitney, do you have any experience in this?"
"Outside of what I've seen in the movies? No. How about you?"
"I've seen a couple episodes of Home Improvement, but I don't think that helps our situation."
"So, basically, we're making a time machine using plutonium and one of Lex's cars, and the only knowledge we have to build this contraption is that which we have gained through watching Back to the Future."
"Yep, we're doomed."
"Dead is more like it."
"Is there any difference?"
OOOOO
"354 channels and nothing on." Chloe sighed, having flipped through every one of them. She was now on her third time back through, flipping too fast to see what was on.
"Actually, it's 358." Lex corrected.
Lana, having taken note of some of their options, started to list them off. "There's a Blue's Clues marathon on channel 29. Or, there's always the Charlie's Angels marathon on channel 37. Channel 142 has a Star Trek marathon, if anyone wants to watch that."
"More marathons." Chloe was frustrated. "That's all that's ever on!"
Without hesitating, Lex shed some light on the subject. "There's a different marathon on each channel. My father had that done for convenience. Although it's more than likely that he did it to annoy the hell out of people. With him, it's hard to tell what his motives were."
"So where's there a Christmas marathon?" Lana wondered.
"He was never very big on Christmas. I think it had something to do with all of the 'family togetherness.' As for the business and commercial aspect, he always appreciated that. Never could spend time with his family."
Chloe and Lana exchanged a look, realizing that Lex was going into Rant Mode. Over the last couple of days, they had learned that this was never a good sign. The last time this had happened, he had ended up sitting in the kitchen, eating a whole cheesecake as he talked to Genji, a talking bear that only he could see.
As quietly and inconspicuously as possible, they got up and slowly exited the living room. As they were starting up the stairs to their bedroom, Pete ran up to them.
"Do either of you know where I can find some plutonium?"
Chloe was somewhat afraid to ask, but did anyway. "Plutonium?"
"Yeah, I need some. Clark, Whitney and I are making a time machine."
Had they heard correctly? Was Pete really asking for plutonium to make a time machine? They did not know whether to laugh or run for their lives. In the end, they did neither, deciding on just standing there, somewhat dazed.
Lana was the first one to snap out of it. "Where would there be plutonium in this house? Why would there be plutonium in this house?"
"I don't know. However, we need some way to fuel our time machine. Maybe Lex can tell me."
"I don't think that's such a good idea." Chloe cautioned.
"Why not?"
"Because Lex looks like he is going to have another 'episode.' So it's hard to say what he'll do this time."
"Thanks for the heads up." Pete turned and left in the direction he had come from.
"Has Pete been by here?"
There, where Pete had just been, was Whitney, and Clark was not far behind.
"You just missed him." Lana informed them.
"Damn! He's trying to make a time machine."
"We've heard. He asked us for plutonium."
"Hopefully, if he doesn't have plutonium, he'll give up."
"Not Pete. He never quits." Chloe notified.
"Shit!"
"Out of curiosity, what did he plan to make it out of?"
"Besides the plutonium? Lex's car."
"The Ferrari?"
"The very same."
"Shit!"
"My sentiments exactly."
"You do know that Lex is going to kill you, right?" Lana questioned.
Clark provided the answer that he and Whitney had finally decided on. "We already figured that. However, since we can't stop Pete, and we're dead regardless of the outcome, we figured we might as well help. If he can somehow manage to succeed, we'll travel back in time or something. Otherwise, we barricade ourselves in the bathroom. Although the closet might work too."
"It had more to do with the fact that there's nothing else to do around here. Besides, you only live once, right?" Whitney supplied.
"If it's all the same to you, we're going to pretend we never had this conversation. That way we can plead ignorance when Lex finds out."
"Thanks Chloe. You're a real friend." Clark sarcastically yelled as he and Whitney resumed their search for Pete.
"I know." she called back, walking up the stairs, Lana following behind.
"So, what do you want to do?" Lana asked.
"Outside of pretending that we're not trapped in a house with four madmen?"
"Yeah, that aside."
"How about playing a game?"
"Sure. How dangerous could that be?"
OOOOO
"Hey, Pete?" Clark called from the doorway of the garage. "Are you in there?"
After searching the kitchen, office, library, and living room (where they quietly bypassed Lex), they decided to try the garage. If he was not in here, they were going to give up the search.
"I'm over here!" a voice called from behind the Ferrari.
'Success.' he thought.
They had found Pete. Unless the voice was that of Genji or Lex had a resident ghost he had not told them about. Anything was possible, given the fact that they were currently standing in his garage, about to help Pete attempt the insane.
Standing up, Pete dusted himself off before walking over to the two. "Have you found any plutonium?"
"Unfortunately, no."
Pete yawned. "Well, it's about one in the morning and I'm tired. I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to sleep."
Clark and Whitney, tired and more than ready to go to bed, sighed in relief.
Turning out the light in the garage and closing the door, they made their way down the hall and up the stairs, agreeing to meet after breakfast to work on the car.
Changing out of his clothes, Pete groaned. "Man, I never would have thought that building a time machine out of a Ferrari would be so hard."
Turning down the bed and getting in, Whitney rolled his eyes and looked at Pete. "There's your problem. You don't think!"
Clark chuckled, resulting in Pete whacking him on the back of his head before climbing into bed.
"Hey!"
"Goodnight Clark!" Pete and Whitney chorused, turning out the lights.
OOOOO
In the room next door, Chloe and Lana were in the middle of playing with an Ouija board.
"Oh Great Spirit, tell us your name."
"This isn't working Lana."
"Give it some time. They might be busy."
"It's one a.m. and they're dead. What could they possibly be doing? Raiding a Walgreen's?"
"No. They have spirit things they do."
"Right."
"Shh. I think I felt something."
Sigh
"There! I felt it again! Look at the board."
"I...am...Bill...Clinton? Alright, now I know this is fake."
"Maybe it is a humorous spirit."
"Uh-huh."
"It's moving again!"
"What's it say now? That it's really Bill Gates, but got the last name wrong?"
"No, it says its name is...John?"
"Have you seen the ghost of John? Long white- Hey! That hurt."
"I'm trying to make contact here."
"Fine."
"How did you die?"
"Probably by playing this game."
"Look! It's moving again!"
"Are you sure you're not moving it?"
"Chloe..."
"Alright! I just asked!"
"Murder."
"What?"
"It just spelled murder."
"Maybe now's not a good time for him."
"Maybe he's just lost his wife."
"In case you forgot, he's the one that's dead."
Thump
"Chloe, do you think that was John?"
"No, that was Pete, falling out of bed again."
OOOOO
"Mommy, I want to ride the pony!"
"Pete, you're on the floor. You fell out of bed, hitting your head when you landed." Clark said, kneeling down next to him.
"Clark? I had a dream that I was stuck in this house. And you were there, and Whitney, and-"
"Believe me, it wasn't a dream." Whitney broke in.
Pete looked around and noticed his surroundings. "No. It's a nightmare," he groaned, banging his head against the bedpost. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
"Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore." a voice came from the doorway. The figure entered the room, turning on the light.
"Lex." Clark warned.
"So, he fell out of bed. Again."
"Yeah. He hit his head, which seems to have caused him to become slightly disoriented."
"Is that even possible?" Whitney questioned. "I thought he was pretty disillusioned already."
"It would probably help if he stopped hitting his head against the bed." Lex pointed out.
Clark turned back to Pete, pulling him away from the metal post.
"I'm alright now. Just a bit-"
"Crazy?" Whitney asked.
This earned him a glare from Pete. "No. I was going to say upset."
"Well, if everyone in here is alright, I'm going to bed."
"Night Lex!" Whitney called as Lex headed down the hall.
"So how do we keep him from falling out?" Clark asked, nodding to Pete.
Whitney thought for a minute before answering. "Rope?"
Clark sighed. "This is going to be a long night."
Author's Note: So I wrote this for Christmas. Yeah, not finished, but I do have more done. If anybody likes this and reviews, I'll post the next chapter in the next couple of days (yes, it's done!), So please review? Thanks!