Authors note: So this fic was written a few years ago, and was posted on the sea patrol forum - I've only now decided that I should transfer it over here :) Any mistakes are my own, and I hope you all enjoy.
Kirst xx
Revenge is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were) ~ Part One
To begin with, you were just a friend, nothing more or nothing less.
I was there for you, when you struggled with your job and with your personal life. Sure, your job was and there is no doubt in my mind still demanding, after all, a career in the defence force is by no means easy. Your chosen career path, then led your personal life to be in ruins, after many failed relationships. And, still you soldiered on, believing that duty to your country was more important than any relationship.
That should've been a clue for me to gracefully bow out, and allow you to only defend your country. However, I knew that no matter how much you loved being out at sea, you still needed someone to love, someone to hold and someone to share your life with. Maybe, it was naive of me to believe that person was me, but whilst it lasted it was good – great even.
As our relationship blossomed, you became everything I thought you never were. I saw a completely different side to you, that I felt no one else had ever known existed. It was as if I had a piece of your heart, as if I had my very own piece of you whilst you were out to sea to defend this great country of ours. During the time, you spent away, I'll admit it was hard, horrible even without you, but I coped – I had to.
Time continued to pass by, and I felt as if, every time you returned home, you were different. At first, I didn't know what was happening to you – and us. I was confused, and I could tell by the look on your face you were confused too.
Now, as I remember our relationship, I realise that it was unfair for me to believe that our relationship would work; it was unfair of me to put all of these expectations on you. Most of all, I was unfair on myself, I knew from the start that it wouldn't work out between us, but yet, I was still willing to give it a chance – after all you only live once. It's just, sometimes when I catch myself thinking about you, and the way it used to be; I wish I never put myself through so much pain, I wish I never allowed my heart to get broken.