The dreaded formal event.
Dress uniform.
Speeches.
Toasts.
Small talk.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard surveyed the grand ballroom where the retirement party for the prestigious ambassador Fredrick "Wallbanger" Waller was in full swing. He saw groups huddled together sharing a joke or tidbit of gossip, opulent flowers and decorations hanging from every inch of the room; enough food and drink to feed a party twice the size of this one; and a handful of couples swaying together on the dance floor to the expertly-played music of the early twentieth century. If I never came to another of these functions in my life, I wouldn't miss a single part of it, thought Jean-Luc as a flash of red passed before his line of sight.
Well, maybe I'd miss one thing… Jean-Luc smiled as Dr. Beverly Crusher handed him a cold glass filled with something pink. Though they were never romantically involved, he and Beverly had a standing invitation as the other's date for events such as these. The truth was that he wanted so much more than to have her on his arm for these few formal events. She set his soul on fire. He would give her his whole world, were it not for the fear that stood in their way. So they pretended that they were "just friends", and on nights such as these, he could lose himself in the rare moments he shared with Beverly.
"Well it turns out that this retirement is a tad scandalous" whispered Beverly as she sipped on the neon concoction that was fizzing in her glass, " Ambassador Waller is running away with an Andorian woman he met while on duty. She's apparently half his age". Bev raised her eyebrows, obviously enjoying this minor crisis. "I heard it from her" she pointed to a woman by the washrooms, "…and him" she pointed to a bar tender, "and then I overheard them talking about it while they attempted to waltz" she pointed at a couple who had stopped dancing so the female partner could rub her stepped-on toes.
"Hmm" murmured Jean-Luc in response. Must they make these damn collars so tight? It is the exact measurements of my regular uniform, and even made of the same material but…
"Jean-Luc" Beverly interrupted with a smile, "would you stop worrying so much about the damn uniform and enjoy yourself? Who knows, a couple more of these scarlet drinks, and we might even get you dancing!" She raised her glass in mock cheers, and swallowed the rest down in one gulp.
With one final obligatory tug on his collar, Jean-Luc followed suit, swallowing every drop of pink in his glass.
Beverly smiled, enjoying every last harrumph from her dear Captain. The truth was, she wouldn't give a damn about ol'Wallbanger's retirement, but she agreed to come along for a chance to spend a nice evening with Jean-Luc. She wasn't ready for a real date, but attending these functions together felt safe. Not a date, just a favour for a friend.
"Well isn't this nice to see," an elderly woman walked over to join the couple, "Jean-Luc Picard is here with a date! Mary-Anne Juniper, nice to meet you". She extended a hand in Beverly's direction, a broad smile on her face and eyebrows raised in anticipation of the introduction.
"Professor Juniper, this is Beverly Crusher, an old friend," Jean –Luc hastily took the social cue. "Beverly Crusher, this is professor Mary-Anne Juniper, I took her class on tactical analysis way back at the academy." As the women shook hands, Jean-Luc tried to steer the conversation away from himself, "Professor I am surprised to see you here. How did you know the ambassador?"
Mary-Anne kept her focus on Beverly, "hmm, an old friend? Surely Jean-Luc you are not still a bachelor. You can't work forever, you know. Some day you'll be retied and alone. Wouldn't you love to get married, have a grand romance?"
Beverly looked down, smiling. Jean-Luc began to blush. "Professor-"
"- come now Jean-Luc please call me Mary-Anne."
Jean-Luc stammered, "Very well then, Mary-"
"- I mean, I don't see a ring in either of your fingers. Why are you old friends and not new lov-"
"- Mary-Anne!" Beverly interrupted, "it is nice to meet you. Tell us, are you here with someone?" Who should have cut you off 3 drinks ago? Beverly added silently.
Jean-Luc found himself quietly thanking Bev…and mentally starting to prepare himself to make a hasty escape. Where is the closest exit?
"I'm serious!" Mary-Anne insisted, "you both seem healthy, and you obviously enjoy each other's company. You-"
"-WE are, um, distant cousins." Jean-Luc didn't know anything about the old game of American football, or he would be calling this move a Hail Mary, "yes, really. I think of Beverly more as a sister, really." He jabbed Beverly with his elbow for effect.
"It's true," Beverly played along, "kissing him would be like kissing my brother."
"Well," said Mary Anne, obviously deterred, "that is a shame. You two look so handsome together."
The couple thanked Mary Anne as she mumbled some excuse about seeing a friend across the room and retreating.
As she moved away, Jean-Luc and Beverly looked at each other with cheeky grins on their faces.
"Oh hell," declared Bev, "dancing can't be worse than that! Come on, let's go!" She pulled him onto the dance floor, as one of her favourite songs, Isn't It Romantic began.