The aftermath of his sister's assault in the Maidenhead was horrible.
But the only thing Simon cared about right now was seeing River.
He looked at Mal and asked concernedly "Please may I see her, I have to access her mental state and-"
Mal glared hatefully into his eyes and cut off whatever Simon was about to say next.
He replied curtly "Zuò nǐ xiǎng zuò de, wǒ bùzàihū !"
Simon whispered quietly "Thank you."
He started toward the infirmary Kaylee stood up and followed him
Just as Simon was about to open the door he felt a warm hand on his right shoulder.
He turned and saw a sympathetic Kaylee behind him wearing a warm and comforting smile like she always seemed to do no matter what the situation.
Kaylee pulled him into a gentle hug.
She whispered compassionately "I wanted you to know that I care about you and River a whole lot, and I'm here for you when you wanna talk kay?"
Simon leaned into the nape of Kaylee's neck.
He hugged her back and replied warmly "Thank you so much Kaylee, perhaps when all of this craziness is over you and I can have a proper talk."
Kaylee gave him a swift kiss on his right cheek.
She smiled slightly and said devotedly "I'm here for ya when you're ready."
Simon nodded and answered grateful "Thank you I'll speak to you soon."
With that Kaylee turned and went back to sitting at the kitchen table with the rest of the crew.
Simon heaved a heavy sigh, he was comforted by Kaylee's words but only for the moment she wasn't in his presence any longer.
After Kaylee left he felt the feelings of warmth and comfort that the young mechanic always seem to exude fade.
In there place he felt immense sadness and helplessness once again.
With sheer will and what little strength he had left Simon steeled himself and went to the infirmary.
He filled a small metal bowel with hot water and took a white cloth
Supplies in hand he went into the storage locker.
When he entered Simon could see that River was sleeping but her eyes immediately opened the second he closed the door shut.
He set the metal bowel down and sat next to his sister.
Even through she had been sleeping since they had returned from the Maidenhead her eyes were blood shot and watery as if she hadn't really been in a deep sleep.
Simon soaked the cloth in the water and began cleaning up the blood that River had gotten on her it was stained on her hands face, chest and forehead.
He sighed quietly and thought sadly Oh my poor méi-mei I am so sorry I didn't get to you sooner.
Simon started on her forehead gently wiping away the smeared blood stains.
They sat in silence for a while with him just cleaning as much of the caked on blood off of her skin as possible.
River just sat eyes wide open and staring straight ahead as if in a daze.
He thought decisively I should wait for her to speak to me I don't know how much damage her psyche endured I just hope when she does speak she'll be able to tell me something substantial .
Simon stayed silent and went about softly scrubbing the gore form his sister hoping that River would speak to him when she was ready.
Out of the blue she whispered labyrinthine "They're scared of me."
Simon tenderly wiped some faint but stained blood form her forehead.
He said quietly "I'm sorry."
River moaned confusingly "They should be, but I'll show them... oh god!"
Her face quickly contorted into a tortuous expression.
He swiftly caressed her face and soothed comfortingly "Hey it's okay, it's okay."
River regained her composure and said nonsensically "Show me off like a dog, many old men drenched in blood my hands never touched them but they're drowning in it they die gasping."
She shook her head and wailed sadly "I don't know what I'm saying, I never know what I'm saying!"
Simon tried his best to comfort his terribly frightened sister.
He continued to caress her face in his hands while at the same time still cleaning up the blood.
Simon dipped the cloth into the water again, he started to wipe off her hands.
He asked questionably "In the Maidenhead you said something before you were triggered do you remember?, the Captain heard you say something on the feed."
River stared ahead hazily and replied quietly "Miranda."
Simon asked quizzically "Miranda, who is Miranda?"
River twisted her right hand.
After the assault in the Maidenhead Mal had placed large metal handcuffs on her. He had chained one to her right hand and other to the floor grating.
She looked at him in the eye and said cryptically "Ask her."
Simon asked tentatively " River, am I talking to.. Miranda now?"
She gave him her you-are-such-a-idiot look.
Simon dipped the cloth into the water again and said hurriedly "No not right."
He took her hands tenderly in his own and continued to wipe the blood off of them.
Simon took a deep breath.
He exhaled and said delicately "I think that when they triggered you it somehow brought this up this.. this memory of yours."
River relinquished her hands from his.
She backed up against the wall trembling in terror her once vacant eyes were now dilated with horror.
River cried agonizingly tears streaming down her face "It isn't mine, the memory it isn't mine it was never supposed to be mine, Simon don't make me sleep again please, don't make me sleep, please!"
Simon held her face gently and replied vehemently "I won't, I won't!"
River gasped and said despairingly "Put a bullet to me, a bullet in the brain pan squish, no more memories no more dreams no more pain, please Simon please!"
She laughed manically.
Simon held her face in his hands again and made her look at him.
He replied firmly "Don't say that not ever, we'll this through this méi-mei, we will."
Simon tenderly wiped her nose and gently smoothed her hair with his hands.
River whispered ominously "Things are gonna get much much worse."
Simon stroked her face softly once, he then let go of her and sat down.
He sighed again and said sarcastically "Well the Captain hasn't jettisoned us out of the air lock so I'd say-"
River whirled around and faced him she cried warningly cutting him off "He has to see more than anybody he has to see what he doesn't want too!"
Simon looked at his sister and asked softly "River what will Miranda show us?"
She took a breath and replied hushed "Death."
He asked worriedly "Whose death, River?"
River started to giggle her face becoming more manic with each second.
Finally she stopped laughing and shouted horrified "Everybody's!"
She backed up against the wall again and drew her knees up to her chest and began to rock slowly.
River muttered frighteningly "More to come, more death, no one will come out unscathed."
Simon approached her slowly hands patting the air and replied soothingly "Méi-mei, it's all right, the memories are gone, I'm here."
River stopped rocking and relented to her brother's words.
She uncurled her legs and wrapped her arms around his waist Simon gathered her to his chest and rocked her softly smoothing her hair with his hands once again.
They remained silent for some time just being in each others warm embrace was comfort enough for them.
Simon kissed her on the top of her head.
River looked up at him content at last.
He whispered lovingly " I'm here for you always."
River's eyes clouded over with sadness she said quietly "You won't, you'll leave."
Simon shook his head and replied firmly "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
River sighed and said softly "I've seen it."
He gathered her to his chest again and said softly "It's going to be okay, it is."
River curled into his embrace and whispered logically" I'm not sure yet the variables aren't adding up."
Simon sighed he released her and asked gently "Do you want me to give you something to relax?"
River shook her head and answered quietly "No I'm fine."
He smiled slightly and replied warmly "You will be."
Simon hugged her once again.
He then gathered up the metal bowl, cloth and stood up.
Simon went to open the door.
He turned and said gently "Try and get some rest my qīn'ài de tián méi-mei I'll check on you later."
River nodded.
She laid down and whispered inaudibly "I'll try."
Once outside of the locker Simon sighed and thought disappointingly Well so much for substantial information maybe I can try again later.
Mandarin Translations
Qīn'ài de tián méi-mei- Dear sweet little sister.
Zuò nǐ xiǎng zuò de, wǒ bùzàihū- Do what you want I could care less!