Kurt writes a letter to Blaine
Title: I'm sorry
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: Kurt writes a letter to Blaine.One shot.
Notes: I suddenly had this little plot bunny I wanted to write but my writing sucks, so here goes… I've always read that Blaine is the one that cheats with another person, so why not I try Kurt is the one that cheats; being intimate with another person. I'm still learning the ropes of writing so forgive me if my language is horrible or anything
Dear Blaine,
I know that I'm the last person you'll ever want to see – or read, in this case – on earth. But please can you spare just a few minutes to listen to my explanation? I really really want you to hear my side of the situation. I know that I'm in the wrong and I don't deserve your forgiveness but, please, read this for me.
Blaine, you're the light of my life. I am nothing without you, nothing. I am sorry for my actions. I am sorry if I ever did wrong in all my life with you. I am sorry if my insecurities troubled. I loved you then, I loved you now. I love you. I know that that three letter word, eight alphabets don't mean a thing now, but it means something to me. I will always love you and I'll always be sorry for my actions.
Let me explain myself – though you really don't deserve my explanation hence I don't deserve your forgiveness. I am sorry that you walked in on me being intimate and in a compromising position nonetheless with another guy. I know that you hate infidelity because that is the reason your parents' divorce in the first place and I am sorry for that. You have a right to walk away from me 'cause I know that I've truly done more horrible things. I am sorry that you had to see that. I truly don't deserve your apology. But an apology still doesn't cut it 'cause you did far greater things for me, things I take for granted. You worked day and night, taking odd jobs, just to support us and pay our bills while I lay here and keep fucking other men. Every day, when I see you I can see dark bags under your eyes and I know that I am the cause for that. Every day, you work hard but I didn't appreciate it at all, I didn't appreciate the roof you've given us. I didn't appreciate anything you've given me. Even with everything you've provided for us, I still comes home drunk and make a ruckus and you still take care of me, changing me into my pajamas and you still deal with me with my hangovers the next day even though you're deadbeat tired from the previous day work.
When I say I am nothing without you, I really mean it, literally. I guess I should tell you about my situation now. I don't expect sympathy from you, but, please, continue reading. Currently, I am sitting on the futon in the living room, feet propped on the coffee table, handwriting this letter to you. I miss you, Blaine. This apartment feels empty without you. I miss the good ol' times of us when we were carefree. I miss your lyrics on tissue papers lying around the apartment. I miss your infectious laughter that echoes through the apartment. I miss making breakfast for two every morning and having you grumble whenever coffee is not right in front of you at the very moment. I miss you singing random songs whatever your mood is. I miss showering with you where you always make fun of my hair, making weird shapes with it then I'll ruffle your curls. I miss picking out your clothes for the day and you'll grumble about not being your personal model. I miss all the little notes you left for me every time you leave the apartment, for me to search for them. I miss waking up to you every day and see the peace on your face and it tells me that you were safe here, either with me by your side or being where you are. It calms me you know. But most of all, I miss waking up next to you saying, I love you.
The reason I am writing this letter instead of sending it via email is; I want you to know that I'm sincerely sorry. I regret my actions every day. I regret not making you my priority. I regret taking advantage of you. You've been so wonderful to me, Blaine, and I'll never forget a moment of wonderfulness from you.
You should know that I'm sober now. Ever since the day you left me, I've decided what's best for me – to change things around in my life. I don't want anyone else walk away from my life anymore – and I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and I've worked past most of my issues. I've also been seeing a shrink in hopes of getting better and changing my life a full 360. It's been 6 months since you've left and in these 6 months I'm trying to get better every single day.
I miss you, Blaine. I will always miss you. I know that I don't deserve to say this but, I love you.
Goodbye, Blaine. I hope that you're happy wherever you are now and I wish you the best for all your future endeavors.
Your ex-fiancé,
Kurt
I love you.
P.S. I'm sorry for the tears when I wrote this letter.
So, how I'd do?