Hello friends, it's been a long time.
After seeing the third (and presumably final) How to Train Your Dragon Movie, I felt inspired to write more. Maybe just this one fic, many more, but whatever the case I had to do at least one more.
This one takes place after most the events of the Hidden World, except for the two epilogue scenes at the end.
I hope you enjoy!
Thirteen days.
Thirteen days since the dreaded dragon hunter Grimmel had been defeated. Thirteen days since the people of Berk had said goodbye to their dragons. Thirteen days since those same dragons had followed their leader into the mythical Hidden World.
Thirteen days since Hiccup had said goodbye to his best friend.
Even now, almost two weeks after the event, Hiccup could still feel the sullen mood of the village, and how strange a thing that was to see! Even after everyone had been forced to pack up and move to a whole new island, their spirits had remained relatively high. Everyone took to New Berk well enough, far better than Hiccup had expected, considering their initial reaction to the proposition of leaving in the first place.
But of course, then they were just leaving a place behind — a home that could be rebuilt elsewhere, items that could be replaced.
In the face of losing the friends- and family- that they had grown to love over the last six years, the loss of that old heap of rock seemed a small thing indeed.
And yet, despite it all, life moved on.
Whatever horrible feelings of loneliness and loss Hiccup was feeling, he simply did not have the luxury to wallow in his pain. The village still needed its chief, needed it now more than ever, both in establishing their new village and coping with their own sense of grief. Hiccup had to be that chief, had to be that example for everyone because, naturally, everyone was watching him.
And so, after forcing back so many tears over those long, grueling days, he found it surprising that when he found himself alone, those tears simply would not fall.
He sat on his messy, cozy bed stuffed into the too small tent that had served as Hiccup's home for the past couple of weeks. Or rather, it would have been too small for Hiccup and Toothless together. Hiccup had actually complained to his dragon for taking up too much of the cramped space in the nights the two had slept in there. It seemed a terrible irony just how empty it felt now.
Hiccup rolled a small notebook in his hands as he sat stiffly on the bed. It was late in the evening right now, and he only allowed himself this small time off because the day was pretty much finished as it was. The construction plans for the new village were well underway, the food supply was as stable as it could be, given the circumstances, and they finally managed to find a path down to the ocean that didn't involve anyone having to dive off of cliffs. Guard rotation was set, sentries posted and wary, and the village was safe.
Still, Hiccup found trouble relaxing; he couldn't help but feel as if he was needed somewhere. Any minute, someone would run into his tent, calling for him to fix some crisis, to look for some answer to their problem. Any minute now...
Hiccup tossed the notebook onto his covers and put his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes. So much for having some time off to relax.
"Hiccup? You in there?"
Hiccup practically jumped at the sound that voice, his tense body jerking at the sound of another human, despite the fact that he had been 'waiting' for that very thing.
The sound of footfalls quickly followed after that voice before a familiar form pushed its way into his tent.
"Hi uhh... ahem, hey Astrid."
Leave it to Astrid to walk in on what was essentially Hiccup's private room with barely a word of warning.
"Oh... hey." Despite her bold entrance, Astrid seemed somewhat at a loss for words at actually finding Hiccup there. "I... everyone's wondering where you went. Guess we don't have to send out search parties after all."
She let out a little chuckle at her own weak attempt of humor, and Hiccup let himself respond with a half-smile he didn't quite feel. If nothing else, he appreciated the effort.
But he couldn't quite bring himself to respond, and so an awkward silence carried the next few seconds.
Hiccup realized that she was waiting for him to say something, but for the life of him, nothing seemed to be coming to mind at the moment. In all honesty, he wasn't in the mood for company at the moment, but he couldn't find the words to make that happen either.
Instead, he just let his head bow and gave a grunt of acknowledgment.
Another long pause.
Hiccup felt more than heard Astrid walking up to his bed and taking a seat beside him, familiar, warm presence that he instinctively began to lean into. He felt her rough hand touch his lightly, her fingers searching for his.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly. There was no question about what it was. They knew each other too well for that.
Hiccup wanted to respond with an emphatic no! Of course, he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want it to be like this. He wanted to be back home, back in his own, real bed, his real house. He wanted to wake up to the sounds of dragons roaring, trilling, and singing! He wanted...
He didn't realize until Astrid closer her hand over his that he had been trembling.
They sat there for a long time, the evening turned to dusk, the dusk into twilight. The light of the fading sun was replaced by the flickering light of torches. The sound of distant snores became prevalent throughout the camp, as did the booted stomps of sentries that moved back and forth between the half-built structures.
All the while, Hiccup sat silently, leaning into Astrid slightly, his fingers entwined with hers, simply enjoying her presence.
For her part, Astrid did not press him for anymore.
But for his part, he knew that he owed it to her, if not to anyone else, to speak his true feelings.
"I miss him" Hiccup said finally. His voice sounded much steadier than he felt "I miss all of them."
Astrid shifted a bit closer, letting go of his hand to wrap her arm around his far shoulder.
"He's happy where he is now... and he's safe. You d-"
"I know that!" Hiccup snapped harshly. Now his voice was breaking, but he didn't care anymore. "I've heard it a million times Astrid, and I've told myself that a million times, but it's not helping! I can't just go back to... to... whatever I was before Toothless! Being is a dragon rider... it's been everything I am! How can I go back to..."
As heated as the words were, they seemed woefully insufficient in comparison to the roiling sea of emotions now churning in Hiccup's gut, twisting his insides, making him feel sick.
But there was Astrid, holding him close, wrapping strong arms around him. As much as she could to shield him from the pain, though she couldn't block out the pain in his heart.
"Hiccup... it's ok."
No. No, it wasn't. Hiccup wanted to say. Nothing was ok. A few weeks ago, he had been living in a piece of paradise; his dream come true. Now... he had nothing.
"I don't know what to do without him, Astrid... Everything I've done, everything I've fought for.. It's all gone..."
"We all fought for it, Hiccup" Astrid whispered, "And we're all... we all hate what happened but..."
"Astrid, you don't understand."
Hiccup felt those arms around him stiffen, and immediately wished he could retract those words. He looked over toward her, to where she lay her head against his shoulder, beautiful blue eyes staring at him. Those eyes glistened with unshed tears, tears she refused to let fall.
"I'm sorry Astrid... I didn't mean ..."
She nodded wordlessly, but her expression did not change.
It began with a tiny, chocked gasp, a small bob of shoulders. Those gasps evolved into sobs, the and the small shuddering turned into full-on shaking. Soon, the tears began to flow, salty tracks that poured down both their faces.
Hiccup didn't care. He felt those tears melting away the brave mask he had been wearing for the past few weeks. All the stress, all the pain, all the anger, and every other horrible feeling he had bottled up during that time came crashing back into him, a surge of emotions that he simply could not release fast enough.
And there, in his arms, even as he was in hers, Astrid cried along with him. A small part of him hated himself for that for forcing Astrid to see this, for forcing those emotions onto her. Any yet... he needed this. To be with someone who shared that pain, to be with someone who really understood, and Astrid was that person.
And so she held him while he cried. And he held her while she did the same.
When the tears had finally run out the two had collapsed onto Hiccup's bed, lying sidelong, their feet dangling over the side, their arms still wrapped around each other. They lay there, both staring up at the ceiling of the tent, unable to find sleep despite their mutual exhaustion.
It was Hiccup who finally broke the silence.
"Astrid, you don't have to stay. You can go back to your bed if you want."
Her only response was to snuggle in closer to him.
Hiccup turned his head to look back at the beautiful, capable woman who had stood beside him through so many trials and challenges, who had supported and believed in him with all her heart for so very long, even when he didn't even believe in himself. The woman who still loved him, still needed him, even when he was felt at his lowest and most worthless.
And how much he needed her too! Because of her, he had come so much farther than he had ever believed possible.
"Hey Astrid."
"Yes?"
"I'm... thank you..."
She nodded again.
"Do you think... do you think we'll see them again."
Astrid closed her eyes, letting a smile creep over her lips, and Hiccup felt an answering smile appear on his own face, the first real genuine smile he'd had in thirteen days.
"I think we will. And when you see him, make sure he sees someone he can be proud of. Someone who can be happy for him..."
Somewhere deep below the ocean, in a hollow full of luminous crystal and lush foliage, the alpha dragon lay in a similar state of unrest. For the first time in years, so many things had felt right. This place was home. He was with a mate, the Light Fury, another of his kind he had never expected to find. And, for the first time since he could remember, no humans were chasing him, trying to capture or kill him.
It was peaceful.
And yet, the alpha dragon was not content, for there was something very much wrong about his current situation. The more he thought about that wrongness, the more it seemed to grow, like an itch just out of reach.
The wrongness came from the fact that the alpha dragon had no humans around to call him by the name he had come to love so very much. The name Toothless.
The dragon called Toothless wondered about his human, indeed all of the humans of the little village he had once called his home. Such small fragile creatures' humans were, especially his human, and Toothless wondered, day in and day out, if he made the right choice.
But he reminded himself, as he did every time such thoughts arose, that this was what was safest for everyone. For the dragons, for the humans, for the world. It was a cruel truth, a truth that separated Toothless from the humans he had thought of as family, a truth that, he suspected, would continue to haunt him to the end of his days.
Perhaps.. Perhaps...
The Alpha's thoughts were interrupted by the approach of his mate. She pranced toward him with her dainty skip, apparently agitated or excited about something.
Moving right up to Toothless, she spat something out of her mouth into land in front of him, something covered in slobber and smelling all too familiar to Toothless...
A complex bit of what looked like machinery of wood and metal, a little piece of human technology, one that Toothless recognized instantly. Indeed, that very same little piece of metal and wood had served as both a chew toy and fetch toy for him in the not so distant past, in addition to helping his little human actually stand up and walk around.
Toothless nudged Hiccup's lost prosthetic with his nose, grumbling softly.
Well, Toothless thought, now I got something to give him once he visits.
That thought helped ease that feeling of wrongness that Toothless was feeling and, with a contented grumble, he settled down next to his mate.
I'll happily admit it; I cried when I watched The Hidden World. Not only does the movie carry a whole boatload of emotional punch, but coming to the end of a series that has spanned almost a decade and has changed my life in more ways then one is definitely a reason for tears. I'll probably find somewhere to write a massive review about the whole movie, mostly to sort through my own thoughts about it and to properly process it, but for now, I'll say this.
How To Train Your Dragon is a fantasy series that is not about the swordfights or the magic. It's not about home how many enemies the characters defeat, nor how many times they have to save the world. In my opinion, this movie is about friendship, family, and love. It's a simple concept, but to this date, I personally have found no other story that resonates with me this much and brings those concepts to life as much as this series has.
Hopefully, this inspiration keeps up enough for me to write another story.
Because this is not the end of How to Train Your Dragon. Even if the movies and the TV shows and the Shorts and the Games and the Books eventually stop coming, then we will still be here, and we will keep a story alive that is so much more than just a story.
Thank you for reading, and have a good one!