Inspired by the song "You and I" by Michael Buble. Also listening to the OST "Him and Hym" adds for a great feel :)
Reds and oranges cast across the expansive sky as a breeze ruffles Ash's hair. He sits on the rooftop, his phone emitting soft jazz - he isn't sure what song it is, he's just left it on autoplay to go through the genre as it will - as he watches the sun slowly peek through the skyscrapers. The only worthwhile sight in this hellhole he calls home.
His hackles raise when he hears footsteps, only to ease as soon as he identifies the stride as Eiji's. "Good morning," Eiji says in a hushed voice as he shuts the hatch. His accent has weakened in the past year. Maybe in another year, he'll sound like any other New Yorker. "I brought coffee."
"Thanks."
Eiji settles on the ledge by the blond, handing him a mug. "The sky is beautiful today."
Ash nods before he blows on his drink and takes a slow sip. He glances at Eiji over the rim of his mug. He's still got bedhead and his eyes are rimmed with red, a slight fog to them. He must not have woken up more than a few minutes ago. "I'm surprised an old man like you doesn't see it more often. You get up this early every day, don't you? You look so tired, aren't you used to it?"
He may have just woken up yet Eiji has no issue shooting Ash his signature pouting glare. "I didn't know it was even possible to get you awake at this time of day, Sleeping Beauty."
"Ohhh," Ash chuckles, leaning back on one hand. "So it's Disney movies you like to watch for English lessons?"
Eiji might very well be growling in the back of his throat if that look of his is anything to go by. "I bring coffee you coffee just for you to act like this? I'll make you get it yourself next time!"
"Don't go blowing up on me, big brother. You'll burst a blood vessel. Think of your health," chides Ash.
Eiji only scowls deeper.
With a soft laugh, Ash sets aside his mug, half empty now. His gaze turns back to the city. Shadows slowly evaporate as the sun rises higher, chasing them away to dark corners where they hide until nightfall. If only that were true for all the dark shadows that linger over his home. The Lees, Golzine, if only they were so easy to scare away. Sunrise doesn't make the real monsters hide their face.
"Ash…" He turns; the grogginess has gone from Eiji's eyes, replaced now with concern. "You have been quiet since you helped Max." He isn't wrong. Usually Ash can keep himself moving, yet seeing Frog again shook him. Even he needs a little time to pull his pieces together and pretend they fit. Pretend he isn't broken beyond repair. "I know you keep me safe by not telling me everything… But you can talk to me."
"Don't feel like talkin'," mumbles Ash. He could babble until his voice gave out. It wouldn't fix anything. His past would still be the same shit storm it was growing up, full of abuse and rape that he'll ignore until it drives him mad. "I'll be alright."
There's silence, even from his phone as it goes to the next song.
Here we are on earth together
It's you and I
"Tell me more about Japan."
The question takes Eiji by surprise. It isn't like Ash has shown disinterest in his home, it's just only something that comes up now and then. "What should I tell you?"
"High jumping. I only saw you do it once and you haven't really talked about it since. Ibe's told me a bit, not much though."
God has made us fall in love, it's true
I've really found someone like you
Eiji moves to sit on the concrete and rest his back against the ledge, a moment before Ash copies him. "I… was not doing well before I came here. I broke my ankle, which set me back a little, and then I came back and all the other boys my age had grown. While I stayed small. Nature made it easier for them to jump high - higher than me. But I had to train lots to keep up. I do it out of love for the feelings I get when I jump. But even then… It does not feel good to always lose."
Pain is evident on his face. They may be from different worlds, different countries, different backgrounds yet the sadness they both feel is the same. "I… Really wasn't doing good before I come here."
"You didn't seem sick."
Shaking his head, Eiji wraps his arms around his knees. "Not my body. Me. My mind. It seemed, I tried and tried but nothing was right. My father is sick and always in hospital, my mother and I… have differences. My sister is too young to understand everything going on. And the gods were cruel, they took away my sport. I was not happy. I was being crushed slowly by a fate I had no choice in."
Will it say the love you feel for me, will it say
That you will be by my side
"Then… I met you." Those big, dark eyes look up at Ash, expressive and shining. Eiji may not always have the English to speak his feelings clearly yet those big, dark eyes are able to say it perfectly when words fail him.
To see me through
Until my life is through
"And suddenly… I feel free again."
Something tugs inside Ash's chest.
"And I no longer feel crushed."
It squirms as his mouth dries out and his hands tremor.
"Often you ask if you scare me. I always say no, Ash. You can't ever scare me when you make me feel this way - free again."
"Eiji." He says it so quickly that Eiji jumps. "I need you to do something for me."
"What? Anything."
This thing is wriggling constantly behind Ash's sternum now. The lyrics have faded and Ash only barely hears the piano chords. He almost wants to turn it off, it feels like a distraction. "Close your eyes. And don't open them again until I say so."
"What? Close my- Ash, is something wrong? You are speaking fast, too fast. I can not catch it all."
Ash takes a deep breath. Calm down. "Close your eyes," he repeats, making himself slow down.
Eiji doesn't hesitate; he shuts his eyes and awaits whatever Ash needs of him next. And all Ash can do is sit there and study him. Dark eyelashes rest against tanned cheeks and wind ruffles his dark hair. Dark. All of him is so dark. And yet he is as brilliant and illuminating as the sunrise; he chases away Ash's shadows, letting him forget if only for a moment.
Ash breathes out slowly. A young man who doesn't even know how blinding he is.
"Ash?"
"Keep them closed," he murmurs softly. "Until I tell you to open them."
He really shouldn't. His world is cruel to people of the normal world and Eiji has lived through enough cruelness. Eiji said he was nothing like the leopard of Kilimanjaro - but maybe he is: always climbing after a goal he knows he'll never reach.
Yet the want tugs at him, compels him from the inside out until Ash can't help but slot their mouths together. He hears Eiji inhale sharply but trusts him to keep his eyes closed. It's nothing like the kiss they shared in the prison visitation room - Ash isn't trying to slip Eiji a message this time. No need to pretend it's heated, no need for tongue, no need to rush. Just gentle, as if he might break Eiji. Ash plans to handle him with the utmost care, to never let a cruel thing touch him again.
Reluctantly he parts from those soft lips. Eiji's eyes are still shut and Ash breathes out a sigh. For now, at least, the want is sated.
Eiji doesn't know how long he sits there, his heart pounding against his ribs. But he keeps his eyes closed.
Until he hears the click of the stairway hatch shutting.
He opens his eyes and he is alone. Some new instrumental jazz piece is playing off Ash's phone, melody carried into the breeze as Eiji stares into the air.
"Ash…"
Music plays in the background as Eiji stares blankly at his computer screen. He lifts his glasses and massages the bridge of his nose with a sigh. He can hear Sing and Akira bickering out in the kitchen. Akira comes to America every summer now; she's growing into a lovely young woman and already Eiji can see something blossoming between her and Sing. Yau-Si was sure to have his usual bitch fit. But it's good. Sing could use a strong woman in his life to straighten him out. He just better wait until next year before he starts trying to court her.
Eiji chuckles to himself a little. He's gotten protective of her, it seems.
But no matter. He sits up straighter. He has to finish touching up these photos. He's already procrastinated and pushed his deadline too much. It isn't terribly hard, he knows the software well enough after having been in the photography business for so long. It's tedious more than anything. Maybe he ought to teach Akira how to do it and give her summer job. An assistant wouldn't be the worst option, and she's clever with computers. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the time to train her before he has to turn in these photos. Buddy will have to play his assistant for now.
Eiji glances at the golden retriever asleep by his chair. "Some assistant you are."
His fingers run absently through the ponytail resting across his shoulder as he clicks through toolbars. He tests out a few different effects before settling on the original picture. Balancing out the lighting should be all it needs before-
His fingers pause as the next song plays. He's only listened to this once. For all the American culture - and music - that he's soaked up these years, he has always avoided this song. Won't even listen to any other works by the singer.
Here we are on earth together
Yet he can't bring himself to turn it off.
Eiji saves his work then gets up. Buddy peeks open an eye and watches him walk across the room before going back to sleep as Eiji lights lavender incense. Of all his memories, this one, that sweet morning on the rooftop, is one he's had to ignore. He can't bear to think of it.
After it happened, he and Ash went on as usual. It isn't like they had a moment to discuss what the kiss meant for them or even what their relationship could have evolved into if they just had more time.
Time. They were always out of time. After that morning, Foxx showed up, and they were more concerned with saving the lives they could. Then Eiji was shot and had to go to the hospital. And then Ash… They were always out of time.
He brushes his fingertips over the scar, just a few inches beneath his heart. He was really lucky to have lived through such an injury. Despite the pain, unable to even walk it hurt so badly; despite all the months of healing and even now the aching that throbs in the old wound, Eiji would do it again without a second thought. The bullet he took repaid only a sliver of the debt he owed Ash for freeing him from his slow suffocation.
And he was so unspeakably lucky to have met Ash. Even if he still woke up with tears on his cheeks sometimes, even if his chest ached with sorrow, even if he couldn't get himself out of bed for weeks after the funeral, even if he still can't bring himself to go anywhere near the public library because it would break him down into wracking sobs, Eiji is so indescribably grateful to have met that radiant man named after the dawn.
Aslan J. Callanreese. Callanreese. Eiji demanded that be put on his headstone, even if that name was no longer legally his. Ash finally received peace and solace from all the wounds of his life; Eiji was not going to allow Golzine to destroy his respite.
Unable to resist the pull of it any longer, Eiji retrieves his photo album and turns straight to the pages full of his photographs of Ash. Ash after just waking up, still sleepy eyes and cocooned in blankets. Ash just before he bites into a hot dog drowned in mustard. Ash straight out of a shower with a towel slung around his slim hips. Ash. Full of so much life.
I am glad at least in my life I found someone
That may not be here forever to see me through
But I found my strength in you
'Cause in my mind, you will stay here always
Ash. Who no one could ever compare to.
And Sing did try. He introduced Eiji to a few women, a few men. But Eiji had already found his soulmate. A foul-mouthed street punk with the face of an angel and green eyes brighter than any sun.
No matter the wounds, the trials, the shadows between them, Eiji wishes to meet Ash again every life he leads. No pain could ever make him regret the wonderful yet short time they had together.
Eiji traces his fingers over a photo of the blond smiling up into the camera, a towel around his shoulders and a beer in hand. That beautiful, genuine smile.
"Ash…"
In my mind, we can conquer the world
In love, you and I
"I'll wait for you, Ash. Always."