Hey everyone I wanted to write this story while it was still fresh in my mind..or atleast the first chapter lol, well anyway I own no one in this story. And it takes place after Secrets not to far off right after Emma gos to the clinic. and yes it is another Emma/Jay story, sorry can't help it I love them togeather. Anyway please review it even if you hate it. Oh and I own none of the songs used here.
Allie
CHAPTER 1/FALLING DOWN.
I stand alone
I'm on my own
My hands will bleed ( my hands will bleed)
I'm holding on to what is gone
What's left of me?
'Falling down"- Story of the year.
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Emma Nelson walked into Degrassi with her head facing down, everyone knew. They all knew about what had happen at the ravine. It had been weeks since everyone found out about the STD that Alex and Amy had gotten from Jay. But some one had found out that Emma had been tested for it and that her test came back positive. But who found out and told everyone, she didn't know and she didn't care. She felt like her world had finally crummbled beneith her, at least before she had something to hold on to, to keep her head above the surface. But now that was gone and day by day she felt her self struggaling for breath and wanting to run and hide form the stares peopel were giving her, she wanted to cover her ears so she couldn't hear their laughs and jokes and comments about her. But mostly she wanted to her family to look at her again, her mom kept herself busy at the salon but would atleast talk to Emma her father on the other hand wouldn't even look at her much less talk to her.
opening her locker she felt some one staring at her she looked out the corner of her eye and saw him. The one person who kept her from falling, but the one person who helped destroy her also:Jay. He was watching her with the same look he gave her back stage the night of the play, she quickly turned away form him and walked to homeroom. They hadn't spoken since that night at the play but every now and then she would catch him looking at her and at times she caught herself looking at him or thinking about him. She sat in homeroom drawing not paying attention to anyone around her, she jumped when someone placed their hand onher shoulder looking over she saw her oldest and probably her only friend left: Manny. "Hey Em how you holding up?" "I'm okay I guess it's just hard to be here you know with everyone looking and talking." she knew Manny wouldn't judge her at first Manny had bveen disappointed and angry with her but then when everything got around school she knew Emma needed a friend so she was there for her when ever she needed her. "Yea I know don't worry it'll get easier. Hey how about you and I go shopping today after school, take your mind off your problems?" Emma thought about it and then nodde her head yes making Manny smile. "Good you'll have fun Em I promise." she said and faced the teacher as homeroom started.
Jay sat in his class thinking about Emma he had been watching her for awhile ever since that first time in the ravine, well he had been watching her for longer since earlier this year. But more so now, he knew everything about Emma and him had gotten out and how much it hirt her. He wanted to make sure she was okay so he kept an eye on her. She looked so broken and fragile like she was about to crummble to pieces in front of him, he wanted to pretect her form all of this and damnit if he ever found out who spread all these personal things about her around he would kill them. He wanted Emma back, his Emma. When they were togeather they were happy. They would joke around with his friends after they were done, and just enjoy themselves. He wanted to talk to her but he wasn't sure what to say and he wasn't sure she would believe him but he was going to get her to belive him. He got her into this mess and was determined to get her out of it.
At the mall later that day Manny and Emma were walking around shopping. Manny was right Emma was having fun and wasn't think about school and her family, or anything of her problems. They walked into another store and were looking trough the racks of cloths and laughing about everything. When Manny grabbed onto Emma's arm. "What, what's the matter?" she asked when she felt Manny grab her and saw the look on her face. "okay look over there." Manny said in a hushed voice and pointing. Emma looked and saw a couple of guys standing there maybe about a year older than them. "Yea so what?" "So what? Em that guy is so checkign you out." she said with a smile on her face. Emma looked again and did see one of the guys looking at her and smiling at her. She smiled back and then turned back to MAnny. "Manny he is, and he's so cute." she said with a laugh. The guy had blonde hair that was spiked to perfection and bright green eyes, and a great smile. He had his lip pierced and his right eye brow done too. He smiled at them again and began walking over. "Oh my God Em they're coming over here!!" Manny was practically jumping up and down. "Manny what do you care you have a boyfriend remember." "oh yea but you don't."
"Hey I'm Kenny." the one who had been staring at Emma said when they reached the girls. "Hey I'm Emma and this is Manny." she said pointing to Manny who waved at them. "Cool this is Tyler, and David." Kenny said pointing to his friends. "So Emma you look pretty familer, and I don't mean that as a line you really do." "I don't know maybe we saw each other some where." "yea, um have you everhung out at the ravine before?" he asked and Emma looked down some what embarrassed, "Yea I have but not anymore." Manny could tell she wanted to get out of there so she took hold of her friend's arm "Come on Em lets go." they went to leave but Kenny grabbed her other arm. "Emma I'm sorry did I say something wrong?" "no it's just never mind." "Well here I have to go but here's my number." he took her hand and wrote his number on it before turning her hand over and kissing it and giving her a smile that would make anyone weak in the knees. Emma didn't get a chance to say anything before him and his friends left.
"Kenny you know that's Jay's girl right?" Tyler asked him as they got into his car. "No they were never togeather and besides I want her now screw him." Kenny said speeding away. "Dude I wouldn't mess with her Jay had her first and I think he likes her." Tyler said, trying to get through to his friend. "DAMNIT I don't care she's mine and damnit this one is going to be fun." he said with a smirk. Tyler and David knew where this is was going to go. Everything Jay had Kenny wanted and once he got it he threw it away like it was nothing he usually did this with Jay's girls, he had tried it with Alex but she was tougher than the others. And around the ravine things got out too so Kenny knew all the probles Emma was having and that would make it so much easier.
The next day at school Emma felt a little better, after the mall yesterday Manny and Emma just hung out and watched tv just like they used to. Manny had talked her into wearing one of the new outfits she bought yesterday. It was just a simple pair of not to tight low rise jeans and a light pink fitted tee shirt that a picture of a picture of a couple sitting at a table in a old diner, and at the top it said "Cherry's soda shop" and under the picture it say's "Best table service in town" and a black zipper sweatshirt on with a picture of a heart with a banner around it and an arrow going through the heart. It said "Love will tear us apart." Manny had pulled her long hair into a french braid and done her make up lightly just like Emma liked to wear it. For the firsdt time in awhile she felt better about herself, and she was thinking about that guy Kenny she had met. She sat in class smiling to herself but then she thought of what she is going through and wasn't so sure she wanted to see any body just yet.
Jay had seen Emma come into school today and she looked a litlte better today he knew that the comments still bothered her but it looked like something was going on that had her mind distracted. He had finally got the guts to talk to her, he had to atleast try to make it up to her. After first period Jay found her walking by herself and ran up to her. "Emma, Em wait up." he said as he caught up to her. "What do you want Jay?" she asked not looking him in the eye. "I just want to make sure your okay, are you okay?" he was actually worried about her and she saw that when she looked up into his eyes. "I'm not okay Jay, my father won't look at me I have only one friend left, everyone keeps talking.And I don't have...." she stoped herself before she said she doesn't have him. "Emma I am so sorry that this is happening to you I never wanted.." she cut him off before he could finish "well it's a little late for soory's Jay what's done is done and neither of us can turn back the clock. I have to go." her voice was breaking as she was talking, Jay wanted to go after but he just stood there. He knew she was right, he couldn't turn back time but he can make a fresh start with her if she'll let him. 'God I need her, please let this work out okay.' he thought as he slwloy walked away.
That afternoon when Emma got home she went down to her room and sat on the bed staring at her phone. Her mom was at work, her dad was at a meeting and the baby was at daycare. Taking a deep breath she dialed Kenny's number, but she got his answering machine so she took another breath and left him a message. "Hey Kenny it's Emma, I was wondering fi you wanted to go out some time, so give me a call when you get this my number is, (402)-596-3218, bye." she hung up the phone and laied back on the bed. And pulled out her journal.
Okay so today I felt a little better I think it was because Manny and I had fun yesterday. Oh and something pretty good happened at the mall yesterday too, I met a guy. I know it's probably not a good idea to try something with some one new right now with everything going on but it's just one date and he might not even say yes. My only problem is I can't tell if I want to go out with him becuse he seems like some one I could get along with or because I'm trying to forget about Jay and the feelings I ahve for him. I know that sounds so crazy, but I do. Everyone just thinks I gave him head and he went down on me, and yea we did that stuff but we just hung out too and had fun. And I miss all of it I liked being with him I want it back but I know we can never get that back, too much bad stuff has happened with all the good that came out of it. I got sick adn now my family and friedns can't stand me but when I was him, I don't know I felt alive again. I felt wanted and cared for and that's all I really ever wanted he kept me from falling and I did the same for him. But now he's gone and I'm falling down and no one can help me. I just want to feel that way again and with him but I won't admit it to anyone, damn my stubborness. I hae to go now my mom is home.
Love Emma.
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I'm falling down
But I should findmy strength in this
A light burns to reconnect
My heart for what it's meant to give.
"falling down"- Story of the year
Okay here you go the first chapter of my new story please review it. I just came up with this the other night so let me know if it sucks or not.
Allie