Author's Note: First SkyeWard fic. After seeing T.R.A.C.K.S. it just wouldn't leave me alone. I suggest listening to Rascal Flatts song "How Strong Are You Now" while reading, as it is the inspiration for the story and that is where the quotes come from.
Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., if I did, FitzSimmons would have more cute moments. I also do not own the song "How Strong Are You Now".
He sat by her bedside watching her for hours, one constant thought running through his brain:
She was never supposed to get hurt.
He had told her when they started training that it was her supervising officer's job to keep her alive until she could defend herself.
Seeing her laying in that hospital bed, pale, surrounded by machines he couldn't pronounce, white sheets and white walls, he knew he had failed.
"How strong are you now, without her around?"
He never realized how gray his world had been before he met her. She brought light and color into his dull, gray world. And how had he thanked her? That's just it, he hadn't. He fought her at every turn. She tried to break down his walls to see the man that lay beneath, something no one had ever bothered to do. She saw more to him than just face value. She saw more than just another agent. And every time she tried to get him to open up, he tried to divert her and throw her off subject. Give himself some time to throw up more walls.
"You can't even keep one little bitty tear from falling down…"
He felt wetness on his cheek, he swiped it away.
When he first touched that Berserker staff, he had been awful to his teammates, his friends. But most of all, he had been awful to her.
And she never held it against him.
He might have been able to take it if she was angry with him, heaven knows he deserved it after he treated her the way he did. But she wasn't angry with him; she wanted to help him. And he just pushed her away again.
When he had been under the influence of that awful staff, he shouted at her to be quiet. He yelled, asking if she had ever stopped talking.
Never had he regretted his words more.
He put his head in his hands, hunching over his knees. He couldn't look at her, couldn't stand to see the color and the bright light that always seemed to follow her fade. He couldn't bear to watch the best thing that ever happened to him fall apart.
"What's that rule that you live by? A tough guy never cries…"This time, as he felt the tears roll down his cheeks, he didn't swipe them away. It felt like a dishonor to her to do so. All she had wanted from him was for him to trust her enough to open up to her. Even though she couldn't see it now, he was. And in that moment he promised himself that when she woke up he would open himself to her and only her. And if she gave him the chance, he'd never let her go again.
"How strong are you now?"Author's note: How was it? All reviews are appreciated! And to those who are looking for an update on Fitz Fixes It, it's in the works, along with (SPOILER ALERT!) a sequel. So stay tuned!