After writing a significantly darker then normal chapter for my main story (Lady of Slytherin) I penned this in about an hour just for some stress relief.

Depending on the response I may make it multichapter, it really depends on my mood, this is actually epilogue compliant which is a first for me, but everything kind of went to hell after that. As for Draco's friendship with Harry and Hermione, after an incident involving Ron he grew rather close to them, you'll find out what happened, Enjoy and review!

Headmaster Harry Potter sat behind his desk groaning as his old bones settled into the ancient chair, opening a drawer he wearily pulled out a fine bone china tea set and placed it before him. Calling for an elf he ordered a fresh brew and some biscuits while he adjusted his glasses trying not to think about the drama that had been unfolding as of late.

Another Dark Lord had popped up out of the woodwork and of course the Wizarding World was clamoring for their savior to swoop in and rescue them once again. Draco had pointed out on more than one occasion that all Harry had managed to do was be Dumbledore's replacement on the grand game board, usually accompanied with one of his arrogant condescending smirks.

Harry grimaced at that, he hated to admit it but his one time rival and now best mate was of course correct, the fact that his wife Hermione constantly said the same thing didn't help matters at all. As if summoned by his thoughts the two professors in question entered his office giving him lazy waves as they took their seats.

"Harry, what's on the itinerary for today?" His Deputy Headmistress had changed greatly over the years, mostly for the better but Hermione's 'Business First' outlook hadn't shifted much, glancing at the grey haired witch he nodded ever so slightly before speaking.

"Hello to you too 'Mione, and take a look for yourself, Lord...oh whatever the hell his name is tried to bomb a muggle orbital elevator yesterday, the Prime Minister is in a tizzy over it and well..."

Draco snorted at that rolling his silver blue eyes in amusement, "And they want the Great Harry Potter to handle it correct?"

Even though they'd been friends for nearly a century Draco's lazy drawl still got on Harry's nerves now and then, but the aged headmaster kept that thought to himself as he poured himself a cup of tea while sighing in resignation.

"You'd be correct, any news from the Wizengamot?" Draco pulled his hands through is shoulder length blonde hair looking a bit contrite, as Hermione filled a cup for him he smiled at the muggle-born witch and nodded a thanks before replying.

"I have good news and bad new, bad news you're absolutely correct in that they expect you to fix everything...again."

Hermione mimicked the Potions Professor drawl as she tossed a cube of sugar into her drink, "Oh how dreadfully surprising."

Snorting in amusement he tipped his cup to her in a casual salute, "Quite. Anyway the good news is most of our power bloc is preventing the Minister for Magic to do anything too stupid at the very least. Having the Blacks, Bones, Longbottoms, Potters, Malfoys and Greengrass's on your arse tends to make you think twice about making idiotic decisions."

Pausing he threw the two Gryffindor's an apologetic look as he continued, "Speaking of idiotic decisions, I err...saw Ronald yesterday."

"Bugger," Harry muttered rubbing his hands across his face.

Hermione paled at that announcement as her hands began shaking, placing her cup down she eventually stammered out, "The-they let him out of Azkaban?"

Draco made a derisive sound at that as he rolled his eyes yet again, "That was Minister Diggory's grand idea apparently. Since you two have sequestered yourselves off here in Hogwarts they needed a member of the 'Golden Trio' to show off that the ministry is doing something about the most recent Dark Lord so they're parading around the freckled fool."

Harry stood abruptly and suddenly moved like a teenage seeker rather than a one hundred twenty year old teacher angrily pacing back and forth behind the desk.

"Golden Trio, Morgana damn it all we haven't been that since the bastard murdered his own daughter for..."

Harry bit back the rest as Draco nodded, "Since he murdered Rose for dating my son...I know..."

Hermione was barely keeping her tears back for the moment but it was obviously a work of will, "How...does Hugo know?"

Draco paused, than shrugged, "Mione I have no idea, ever since Astoria and Ginerva died our kids have all kind of scattered across the globe to avoid the sins of the father. Last I heard Hugo is still hitting the sauce hard somewhere in China, he never got over what his father did to Rosie."

Harry approached a cabinet and swung it open, he had a bottle of fire whiskey in one hand and brandy in the other.

"I need a drink, you two are helping," Draco was going to comment on his friends ailing health but the glint of fury in those emerald eyes told him to just roll with it. Much to his surprise Hermione didn't bother with a snifter as she began downing the brandy straight from the bottle.

After a time they were all pretty much trashed, alcohol resistance was just one of those things that went with age, eventually Harry conjured a large sofa and the three fell into it drinks still in hand.

"You know," Hermione began, "I think I'd do it all over if I could..." both men glanced at the witch between them but it was Harry that spoke up first.

"What do ya mean 'Mione? Huh...that was almost alliteration..."

Draco snorted and took another sip of his whiskey, "It was not Potter...Merlin you're a terrible drunk."

Hermione for her part made a humming noise as she sloshed around the dredges of her bottle, she stared into the green glass almost mesmerized by the amber liquid before continuing as if she had never stopped, typical Hermione.

"I mean, if I was given a chance to do our lives over...I think I would...I mean it would be rough at first obviously, Draco didn't stop being an arse until he was in his thirties after all."

The man in question raised a finger to protest then paused thinking better of it. "But really we could avoid certain friendships, solidify existing ones, and just...I don't know...enjoy ourselves..."

Harry hummed to himself a bit before finishing off his glass and tossing it aside silently vanishing it before it hit the ground.

"What about our kids?"

Hermione actually let out a mad cackle at that, "What about them Harry? My Rosie is dead, Hugo has become a drunk layabout just like his father. James and Albus died in the line of duty and last I heard Lily and Scorpius fell off the face of the world, we haven't heard from either in twenty years now..."

Draco thought the callousness in her voice was more than likely alcohol induced so he figured he'd humor her, "Something tells me there's a reason you brought this up."

She grinned wickedly at that as a mad spark shot across her brown eyes, or it was once again the alcohol, being as drunk as he was Draco really had nothing else to base it on.

"I do," pulling a parchment from her robes the Deputy Headmistress stood and shuffled towards the desk as fast as her old and thoroughly inebriated bones would allow; sweeping everything off ofHarry's desk, the Headmaster (who to Draco's confusion giggled in amusement seeing all the silver instruments shatter) stood and followed. Sighing in resignation Draco stood from the comfortable sofa and looked over what Hermione had spread across the cleared surface.

"I have no idea what I'm looking at," Harry stated cheerfully, Draco scoffed, stared at the runes, hieroglyphics, and arithimatic formulas for thirty seconds and than could only nod in agreement.

"Yeah I have no idea either, please enlighten us plebeians to your master plan?"

Hermione began talking excitedly and Draco shot Harry a knowing look, they were about to get lectured at, dammit.

"It's all quite simple really, the spell, well more like a ritual will effectively tear our consciousness's from our current bodies and load us into our younger selves minds. It has been done before but the damn fools went to the ministry and once they entered the Department of Mysteries they were never seen again, my money is on them getting dissected truthfully.

"Anyway all we need is for one of us to act as a binder, a drop of blood from the binder will anchor the ceremony and a drop from any other participants will attach them to said binder. Effectively it will drag all participants along with them back in time, what do you think?"

Draco rubbed his temples wishing he wasn't drunk at the moment but Harry stroked his beard in contemplation before turning back to Hermione, "And this will work? We'll just combine who we are currently with who we were?"

She worried her lip a moment before shaking her hand back and forth in a 'maybe' gesture that really didn't elicit much faith if Draco was to be perfectly honest with himself.

"Kind of sort of, really who knows with this sort of thing, for all I know it'll jump universes and we'll end up fighting dinosaurs."

Both men stared at her owlishly, Draco sighed and decided that he was wrong, he wished he was drunker at the moment, "So what you're saying is you've come up with an incredibly hair brained scheme to send us back in the past to basically avoid our terrible marriages and to selfishly regain fifty some odd years of wasted life at the expense of everything we've accomplished?"

Hermione nodded slowly once Draco finished, he looked to Harry who just shrugged, "Most of my kids are dead. I'm sick of fighting the Dark Lord of the month, and I always did like Jurassic Park, I'm in, you?"

Draco mulled it over for a few minutes than asked, "How far back would it send us?"

He was relieved she actually had an answer for that one, "Early to mid teens."

Sighing he dropped his hands to his sides and shrugged, "Oh why not."

Later that day a massive explosion rocked the castle, when the aurors finally cleaned the wreckage blocking the headmasters office they were shocked to see the dead bodies of Harry and Hermione Potter sprawled next to Draco Malfoy, all three grinning surrounded by a shattered ritual circle and a dozen empty liquor bottles.

Draco's head bloody hurt! After that ridiculous thought he scoffed a bit, of course his head hurt he and Harry had downed a bottle of whiskey each before they'd gotten Hermione involved in their drinking game.

Than there was Hermione's crazy time travel plan, the blood ritual and-

Bugger, sitting up straight Draco blinked rapidly trying to take in his surroundings, apparently he'd come to alone in the dungeon corridor leading to the Great Hall. He was going to admit it, he honestly hadn't thought it would work, all Hermione had managed to do was teleport him a few hundred meters across the castle.

He'd have to rib her for that one, no apparation in Hogwarts indeed, shakily dragging his hands across his face he paused in shock, his hands were far too small. That and no arthritis, he wasn't going to complain about that though, looking at one of his hands he felt a brow raise as he realized his nails were painted a rather fetching sparkling jade green.

Blinking rapidly again he glanced down and noticed what he was wearing, and his scream could be heard for quite some distance.

Harry's head felt like he'd been bashed by a bludger than tossed into the Knight Bus without the benefit of a chair or bed, sitting up he glanced about in confusion and went to adjust his glasses before pausing. He wasn't wearing glasses, yet he could see, trying to remember what led him to passing out in the corridor leading to Gryffindor Tower he winced remembering a shite ton of whiskey and his wife's most recent insane plan.

Taking stock of his situation the first thing he noticed was that he was short again and his back wasn't killing him, so maybe he did go back in time? It was so hard to focus right now, maybe some of his drunken haze had traveled with him? Pulling his long hair from his eyes and he paused in surprise. His hair was a deep red, so dark in fact that it looked black depending on how the light hit it, not to mention how bloody long it was.

"Well...that isn't right," he gasped grabbing his throat, his voice wasn't his voice! It was far too soft, too feminine, closing his eyes he let out a deep breath as he looked down at his body...of course.

Sighing he pulled out his wand and muttered, "Point Me Hermione Granger," his wand spun towards the Great Hall and he took off at a dead sprint.

Severus Snape was not in a particularly good mood, this of course wasn't too abnormal for the taciturn man but today was going to be worse since the foreign students for this thrice damned tournament were to arrive by late afternoon.

Sighing he glanced about the Great Hall as all the dunderheaded students prattled at each other, at least it was quiet enough to think for once, the Weasley twins must be preoccupied this morning. His reverie was broken when he heard a horrified scream in the distance, pausing he resigned himself to more teen drama realizing it was coming from the dungeons.

Finishing his coffee and muffin he was about to stand when the double doors on both ends of the Great Hall slammed open, framed in one was the Potter brat emerald eyes glowing manically, in the other young Malfoy whose silver gaze showed killing intent.

Both rushed towards the middle of the room wands drawn, everyone diving out of the long time rival's way realizing that this was it, they'd finally snapped and were ready to kill each other.

To the surprise of everyone in the room they both stopped at the Ravenclaw table hovering over that irritating know it all muggle-born, huffing from obvious exertion from a long run they both pointed a finger at Granger while screeching, "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

She looked at both Potter and Malfoy in shock, eyes widening, Severus stood and prowled towards the confrontation as the brunette girls shoulders began shaking. Great now he had to deal with an emotional mess as well, yay him. Stopping behind the Gryffindor and Slytherin Severus was about to place a hand on both their shoulders when Granger broke out into peels of laughter.

As she tried to regain her composure she'd look back up at her scowling classmates and fell right back into uncontrolled laughter. Potter and Malfoy exchanged looks, sighed and ran there hands through their long hair in an almost mirrored sign of exasperation. Potter cocked a hip to her side and placed a hand on it while rubbing the bridge of her nose, Malfoy did the same, her long silver hair covering her face in the process.

Both girls eventually turned back to the Ravenclaw and as one stated, "'MIONE FOCUS!"

The girl finally stopped laughing long enough to give them a cheeky grin as she coughed out, "You both make beautiful young ladies!"

With that she broke into further laughter, now thoroughly confused Severus turned his attention back to the two now pouting girls, "Miss Potter, Miss Malfoy, care to explain?"

They met each others gaze, sighed, and as one hooked an arm through each of Granger's and began dragging her away. "And where do you think you two are going?"

They stopped shrugged, and began walking again as they yelled over their shoulders, "Hogshead," Severus blinked rapidly at that trying to process these very strange events before he regathered his wits.

Snapping out of it he called out to his goddaughter, "Dracona Narcissa Malfoy you stop right there!" They did stop but it was for different reasons, his goddaughter looked absolutely appalled while Potter broke down into a fit of laughter.

"Dracona?! DRACONA?! BWHAHAHA!" Granger upon hearing this broke down into another giggle fit, the silver haired Malfoy heiress growled to herself then she too started snickering.

She shook her head and seemed to suddenly realize that the entirety of the school was staring at them in absolute confusion. Granger finally seeming to pull herself together shocked everyone as she kissed both girls on the lips and began walking towards the doors still grinning in amusement.

"Come on you two, we have research to do, this wasn't part of the calculations after all," completely ignoring the masses about them Potter shrugged and further wierding out the school threw her arm around Dracona's shoulders guiding the other girl along.

"Come on mate, things are never simple you should have realized that when you agreed to this, maybe-"

Ahe was cut off with an annoyed, "Iris Lily Potter what in the world are you up to now? I mean if this is some elaborate prank well done but really, what's going on honey?"

Cringing and much to Severus confusion looking horrified, perplexed and hopeful all at once Potter spun to see who was approaching her.

Eyes widening she stared at the irritated Defense Professor before muttering, "Padfoot?"

With that her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed in Dracona's arms, the silver haired girl for her part sighed in annoyance, "Really Potter? You get Iris and I got Dracona? Merlin your parents did love you more than mine did me..."

Glancing up to the confused professors she threw them a cheeky grin, "'Ello Professor Black, why so Sirius?"

I find this Draco rather funny...anyway hope you enjoyed please review!