Disclaimer: of course all the characters and situations of Ranma 1/2 belong to one Rumiko Takahashi, please don't sue I am but a poor college student.

Warnings: I know that it doesn't seem too much like it in this chapter, but this will eventually become a shonen-ai fic, so if that kind of stuff doesn't float your boat you should move on. Mention of male antomy, poking someone. NO not sex you hentais. Uh...oh yeah, and there's a little swearing too.

Neko no Baka

Chpt 1; Actions Speak Louder than Words

"…Ranma?"

Akane stands under a tree near the front of Furikan high school. Nabiki is at her back, her arms folded with a school bag tucked underneath, looking cross. The other girl's hand beckons at something in the foliage. There is a large crowd watching the spectacle.

"Ranma…come here boy."

"Here sis, try some cat nip." Nabiki miraculously pulls some catnip out of her pocket, waving it in front of her sister's face.

"Nabiki, why … do you have catnip..?"

"Lets just say that some people have more interesting needs to fulfill than others. I don't ask, I just get it for them. Do you want it or not?"

"Okay, how much?"

"Let's just say that you owe me a favor, Akane-chan."

Akane takes a deep breath. "Alright Nabiki, as long as it isn't anything too outrageous."

Nabiki places a hand on her chest, a hurt expression on her lips but a mischievous look in her eyes. She drops the bag into Akane's waiting grasp.

"All yours sis. Just get him out of it so we can go home already. He'll pay a bundle to get these pictures of the market, and I'm dying of anticipation."

Nabiki holds up a series of pictures then, from right to left they show Ranma jumping onto Akane's lap, snuggling close to her, and then being punting by an angry Akane into lower earth orbit.

Akane blushes from the memory..

"How was I to know something triggered his nekoken, honestly! I thought he was just being a pervert!"

"I don't care Akane, he's a big boy and I'm sure you didn't do any permanent damage, but the fact of the matter is you're the only one that can calm him down enough to get near him. He's going to be more skittish though, you can bet on that."

Akane sighs, calming down for the sake of her sister. "You're right Nabiki," she looks a little surprised, "I didn't know you cared so much."

Nabiki smiles at her sister and shakes her head "Let's just say that I have an invested interest."

"Nabiki!"

" What? The dojo doesn't pay for itself."

Akane looks fierce for a moment longer, but her eyes soften with understanding. She thinks…Oh Nabiki you really do care more than you let on. She stares at the cat nip in her hand

Hope this works…

"Here Ranma, I've got a little something for you." Akane says sweetly and takes a little of the catnip out of her bag and gently tosses it underneath the tree.

"Mreow?" Ranma jumps to the ground with an inquisitive look on his face, he turns his back to her to better study the dried weed. When he looks back over his shoulder, there is cat nip all over his nose.

She smiles encouragingly at him and takes a few steps back, throwing a little more catnip this time. Ranma trots forward with a smile on his face and sniffs the catnip at her feet lovingly. He begins to paw at her skirt, begging for more.

"RANMA!"

Ryouga had been traveling for a long time, he was very weary and equally lost. He takes out a much abused map of Hokkaido and tries to read it upside down. In his other hand he clutches a wrapped package addressed to one Akane Tendo. He stops for a moment near a solid gate with a plaque that clearly reads "Furikan High School." but does not look up to read it.

"Where the hell am I now!" he screams to no one in particular, and receives a few curious glances from some of the students hanging around the entrance looking at something.

"Oh Akane, if only I where there with you and not visiting Hokkaido right now." Tears stream down his face, " Almost feel as though you are right beside me, arguing with your sister."

He blinks.

"That's a new fantasy…" Ryouga looks at the wall suspiciously, he leans his head against it and goes quiet, listening intently.

"Ranma, I've … for you."

Ryouga's eyes go wide and he stumbles backward, looking stricken. "What…?" He leaps over the wall and sees Ranma down on bended knee before Akane.

"RANMA!"

Akane eyes instantly dart over to the speaker, surprised. Before she can react Ranma bounds over to the newcomer and knocks him down. Ryouga lies on the ground with Ranma sitting on his chest. He looks up at his rival with hatred in his eyes, and tears streaming down his cheeks. Ranma's face is shadowed.

"You bastard!"

"Ranma calm down! Oh Ryouga please don't hurt him!"

"A-akane…?" Ryouga stutters out, an odd crack in his voice. He turns his head to the side and looks at her while Ranma stares down at him, his face still unreadable.

Ranma's teeth clamp down on the material of Ryouga's shirt and some of his exposed neck, he lifts the startled boy with his mouth and leaps towards the woods at the back of the school.

"Ranma!…come back.."

Ranma stops abruptly, still dragging the surprised Ryouga by his collar. He listens for a minute, then gently lowers the boy to rest on the roots of an old tree. They are deep in the woods, and can no longer hear the sounds of pursuit.

Ryouga blinks, sits up, then punches the tree.

"Damnit Ranma! Why do you have to make my life a living hell?" He looks at the other martial artist, tears in his eyes. Ranma looks back at him sadly.

"Mreowr?"

"…why are you acting so weird?" he says backing up. "Did you hit your head again?…wait…"

Ryouga pauses as if looking at a complicated math puzzle. He thinks back to the words Akane said earlier, and completely blocks out everything going on around him.

"Ranma, I've …for you."

I thought she might have said…

"Ranma, I've always felt something for you."

…but if he hit his head….

"Ranma, I've got some medicine for you."

Ryouga starts to cackle insanely. Ranma, who had been inching closer to him slowly, freaks out and leaps into the tree branches above them.

"Of course! Ranma hit his head, and now thinks he's some kind of animal! Just like when he thought he was a girl for that week! Oh thank you Akane, for telling me all about that! You're such a sweet girl, going to all the trouble of getting Ranma a pain killer for his head injury. Akane, I knew you couldn't be in love with Ranma."

Pleased, he looks up at Ranma expectantly and smiles. "He-he, you're in no position to keep A-Akane-ch-chan," he stutters and blushes at the familiar term, "and I apart this time!"

Ranma smiles back at him, blissfully ignorant of what he is saying.

"So what are you supposed to be? A squirrel?"

"Meow."

Ryouga bops himself in the head lightly, "A cat! I see. Well here cat, I might as well take you back to the dojo when I go see Akane-san, I don't want her to be worried about you the whole time I'm there, and I wouldn't want you to stumble on a cure before I get to talk to her."

"Um…here kitty?"

He looks up at Ranma.

Ranma responds by getting more comfortable.

Ryouga responds by getting really angry. "Damn it Ranma even when you're not yourself you piss me off! Get down here this instant!"

Ranma ignores him.

"Grr…"

Ryouga starts pulling at Ranma's legs, but Ranma bats him away with a curled fist and leaps up to land on his head. They both go tumbling to the ground.

"Curse you Ranma!"

Ranma licks a very startled Ryouga in the face and purrs contentedly. It is then that Ryouga notices their very close proximity, and realizes exactly what part of Ranma is poking him in the thigh.

"Keep him away from me!" A very startled Akane watches as Ryouga bursts out of a solid concrete wall with Ranma on all fours in hot pursuit. They rush past her, making her hair and dress billow. They turn the corner and she hears a loud splash.

"Ranma!" Akane yells, rounding the turn and stumbling on a strange sight. Ranma-chan is crumpled into a sad little ball, her head flat on the pavement. Ryouga is nowhere to be found, but an exhausted P-chan sits a few feet ahead of the pigtailed girl. A little old lady ladles water unto the street, oblivious to the chaos she was created.

"P-chan, how did you get over here?"

The pig sweat drops, then watches Akane as she picks up the slighter "girl" and starts to walk home. "Honestly, I wonder what that was all about. Come on P-chan"

Unbeknownst to Akane, Ryouga lingers in the street a moment longer, his eyes glued to the passed out martial artist.

Hey you made it to the end of chapter one! Congrats! Hope you liked it, C & C is very much appreciated! Flames will be used to roast marshmellows and make smores.

Also, I am looking for a beta reader to torture-uh, help me with my fics in the future! Anyone interested?