I know I'm supposed to be updating my other stories, but I meant to post this a while ago.
It was the moon, beams of blue flickering through the window pane that did it. She left Stefan where he lay naked and sated in her bed, a small smile turning up his lips. The sight was more unsettling than soothing, his content facade highlighting her dissonance.
It wasn't until she arrived that she became aware of the path she'd taken. She didn't know why she was surprised. Too often she ended up here; too often her sleepless nights led her to the hollow halls once so very full.
Furniture remained, not everything, but enough to enhance the memories of what once was. What was left was covered in sheets, but each lump had enough form to indicate what lay beneath. Just enough items remaining to allow one to focus on the splendour of the rooms rather than what was missing.
Still it all seemed so very bare without that which he took with him…without him.
Her footsteps were the only sound, echoing off the walls as she took to the stairs climbing to that room she didn't wish to view, but was not capable of avoiding. Once it had been a studio full of papers, canvases, and the inspiring work of others gracing its walls. Now it was barren, a necropolis, and a stark reminder that he was truly gone.
He had told her he was going, promised her he would never return, but she had not truly believed him. She still didn't, except on these sleepless nights she spent standing in a tomb. Looking upon all that vacant space she was forced to accept the truth, he really had gone and he never intended to return.
It was what she had wanted; she had plans, a life to live that didn't include him. She wasn't ready for forever, she needed time, a lot of it. So she should have been happy that he meant what he said, she should have continued to live that life she planned. Even though her mother died and Elena was no longer a part of it.
He had given her exactly what she asked for. Given her precisely what she wanted.
And she was with Stefan now.
Despite his declaration that they would never happen, their friendship had evolved into something else, something beautiful. She was happy with Stefan - just as her mother had wanted. They were perfect for each other really. Stefan was her constant, her best friend, and now her lover. She loved him, really she did and she wholeheartedly believed that he loved her. Not simply because Elena was no longer a factor, not simply because he was off in New Orleans. No, Stefan and she fit perfectly; never had she been so comfortable.
In the light of day, with the sun high overhead, she had no regrets. Everything was as it was meant to be.
But sometimes, when the moon was bright and sleep eluded her, she found her way to the house with sheet-covered empty chairs. She found her way to the cleared-out room that was once his haven.
And in that room where she imagined he once drew the picture she had shredded in an unsuccessful attempt to…something best left unsaid…in that room she found herself wishing that he was insincere.
Never didn't mean forever, and one day he would return to claim her.
Because while it was true that she had plans that most assuredly didn't include him, forever was an awfully long time to be without him. And though when morning came she would again convince herself that she and Stefan had all the makings of an epic love, right now - in the house that would always be his - she imagined him once more promising to be her last and her heart sang.
She wondered if he knew.
"Empty Chairs"
I feel the trembling tingle of a sleepless night
Creep through my fingers and the moon is bright
Beams of blue come flickering through my windowpane
Like Gypsy moths that dance around a candle flame
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did, I never thought you would
Moonlight use to bath the contours of your face
Chestnut hair fell all around the pillowcase
And the fragrance of your flowers rest beneath my head
A sympathy bouquet left with a love that's dead
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did, I never thought you would
Never thought the words you said were true
Never thought you said just what you meant
Never knew how much I needed you
Never thought you'd leave, until you went
Morning comes and morning goes with no regret
And evening brings the memories I can't forget
Empty rooms that echo as I climb the stairs
And empty clothes that drape and fall on empty chairs
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did, I never thought you would