The magazine fell from her hands, and hit the ground with a small sound. Not loud enough to even make a difference, but the sound echoed in Santana's mind, as did the words that were painted on the cover. "Brittany Pierce engaged to Broadway legend, Alexander Micheals." Santana still remembered how she and Brittany were once best friends, always at each other's sides. They did every thing together, they were meant to last forever. Santana leaned her head back, fighting the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She heard a quiet knock on the door, and she wiped her eyes standing up and walking over to it. As soon as the door was slightly opened she found soft arms wrapped her, in a protective embrace. Santana took a moment to realize just who was hugging her. She wrapped her arms around Kurt and buried her face in his shoulder.
"I saw, 'tana." He whispered into her hair. That confession only made her sob harder into him. His arms tightened their hold around her. She knew that Kurt had no idea what she was going through. Blaine was still with him, but still she liked having him there for her. Truthfully, she wanted Blaine. Blaine had been the one who encouraged her to come out to her parents, and he'd been the one to give her enough courage to walk hand-in-hand with Brittany down the halls. But, all good things come to an end. Santana came back to reality when she realized that she had pulled Kurt down, and so they were both now kneeling on the floor in front of the door. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, smoothing her hair down. The motion comforted her a little. She felt like every thing might be alright, for a bit at least.
They stayed like that for hours, until they were leaning against the wall. Santana's head rested in Kurt's lap, and Kurt's back rested against the wall, both asleep. When Kurt woke up, Santana was gone, there was no note, no sign of where Santana might've gone. Kurt searched the entire apartment, before he came to the realization that Santana just needed to be alone for now. He knew that she'd call Blaine when she was ready to talk, if she was ready to talk.
Santana looked down at her phone, and held it to her ear as she answered the call. "Hey Britts." Fake smile, fake happiness.
"Santana? Yes! I have a very important job for you." Santana nodded to the waitress and pointed to what she wanted.
"Do tell." She said, trying to convince her ex-friend that she was happy for her.
"I need someone to help me with my dress. I'm getting married. And Alex is gonna be there too, but I want a third opinion. And I kind of need you to meet me now." Third opinion. She was the 'other' opinion. Santana bit her lip to hold back the tears that came from that information.
"I-I can't." She started. "I'm on a date, and I can't leave right now." Without waiting for an answer she hung up the phone, and threw it into her purse. She looked at the drink in front of her, and quickly drank the Sex on the Beach she had ordered. "Some date." She whispered to no one as she bit into the orange slice. She closed her eyes and thought of her angel. Everything they shared together. Tears formed in her eyes as she raised her arm and extended her pinky, almost as if she were waiting for Brittany's hand to join her. But, it wasn't going to. Never again was Brittany's hand going to touch her own with the same meaning they used to have. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed into them, not caring who all saw just how broken she was.
The bell rang over the door, and Santana didn't register it. Her eyes were red, and she was leaning back against the booth seat she was sitting at. Her gaze was slightly dead. She felt a tap on her shoulder, and she looked up. A curious, hurt gaze was staring at her. Santana's mouth fell open at the sight.
"Santana.." The blonde whispered, sitting across from her, and holding her hand in her own. Santana could only stare back. "I canceled my plans with Alex tonight. I'm yours for tonight." No, she wasn't. Santana shook her head.
"No, you're not. You're not mine." She pulled her hand out of Brittany's. "You're not mine, you're his. You'll never be mine again." She looked down at her lap.
"Santana, I'll always be yours. And you'll always be mine. There's no way that we could ever stop belonging to each other. We've shared too much to stop being each other's. In some way, we belong to each other. Always." Santana looked at her in disbelief.
"Just, not in the way I want to belong to you." It was Brittany's turn to look down.
"I love you, Santana. You know I love you. I won't ever stop loving you. But, we just didn't work out. It all happened too late. Everything happened too late." Santana bit her lip, and turned away. "Walk me home?" Santana wiped her eyes before she spoke.
"Why don't you call Alex? He can walk you home." The words came out bitterly.
"Alex is amazing, Santana. He's helping me a lot. But I need you in my life. I can't live without you."
"Then why can't you just be with me?"
"I-." She had no response.
"That's what I thought." She stood up, and started to walk away, but she stopped. "One day, we're going to pass each other on the streets. You'll be linking arms with Alex, and I'll be alone, walking down the sidewalk. We might bump in to each other, and we'll turn around. We'll lock eyes, and in the few seconds it takes for us to turn around, every moment we shared will rush through our minds." Brittany stood up. "But, we won't say a word to each other. We'll look at each other, and we'll walk away, until it hurts to keep looking, and we'll just continue on our ways. We'll think of that moment, that small moment, and we'll remember how much we loved each other. We'll remember this exact moment. I do love you, Brittany. But that's our future." Brittany shook her head.
"No. If we do pass each other on a sidewalk, if we bump into each other. I'm going to chase after you, the second I realize it's you, Santana. Because, I love-" Santana held up her hand to cut her off.
"That word looses it's meaning the more it's said." She didn't give Brittany a chance to respond, as she left the cafe.
Once she was safe in her house, she collapsed against the bathroom door, and sobbed into her knees.
"If I can't have you with me, then I can't have you at all. I can't stand being around you, and holding these feelings, and knowing that nothing will happen. I can't keep being hurt."
Santana sent the text to Brittany, before she filled the bath tub with water, and held the phone over the water. She dropped the phone in, letting it get damaged beyond repair. She stared at it as the screen flickered to black. She drained the tub, plucking the phone out and throwing it in the trash, turning out the light, and turning her back on her past, on everything she had built up. It was time to start new.