Christmas at the Eggman Empire
by Dr. Mechano
December 24th, 10:30 p.m.
The G.U.N. Fortress glistened in the winter night, as its own security spotlights reflected off of the falling snowflakes surrounding it. A few scattered sentries patrolled the perimeter, ever-vigilant as they searched for anything out of the ordinary. And just out of their line of sight, someone who definitely fit the bill of "out of the ordinary" awaited.
"Heh heh!" Dr. Eggman, the nefarious mad scientist, chortled. He sat comfortably in his Eggmobile just outside the fortress's airspace, eying it through a pair of binoculars. Grinning with anticipation as he continued observing, the doctor continued, "What buffoons! Ha! These G.U.N. geeks are as predictable as cheating at Casino Night Zone! Now to wait for our opening..."
"C'mon, boss," a voice spoke up from behind, prompting Eggman to turn around. It was Cubot, one of the two minions he'd brought, along his counterpart, Orbot. With a dopier-than-usual look on his face, Cubot pressed on, "Why do we have to be out here on Christmas Eve?"
"Because, you simpleton," Eggman answered, a hint of irritation in his voice, "This is the one holiday where G.U.N. is criminally understaffed! Over 60% of their personnel have been given time off from work, leaving mostly only their primitive robots to deal with. We're taking that Emerald now to make use of this rare opportunity."
"Aww," Cubot responded, "I just thought it'd be great to spend Christmas home at the base instead of... well, working."
Orbot, Eggman's other henchman, spoke up as well, clasping his hands hopefully, "I must admit, boss, it does sound nice..."
"Christmas?" Eggman scoffed, "Bah! Hum-Motobug, I say! World domination doesn't take holidays off, and there's no way I'm going to pass on a chance to nab that lovely Chaos Emerald. It'll be like taking magically-energized candy from a heavily-armed, government-funded baby!"
Orbot narrowed his eyes questioningly.
"Rrr, I'm not the best at metaphors," Eggman grumbled.
"That was a simile," Orbot said, sounding a little too happy to correct him.
"Whatever!" Eggman barked, "Just pipe down and get ready to move on my command! If you two dunces want to celebrate... bah, Christmas so badly, then you can consider getting this Emerald to be the ultimate holiday present for me!"
Cubot jumped up excitedly, "Oh, boy! That sounds wonderful, boss! Do we get a present from you, too?"
Eggman laughed, "Haven't you ever heard, 'Tis better to give than to receive?' Why, according to that proverb, I'm being generous by allowing you to give me something. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
"You're the best, boss," Orbot answered in sarcastic monotone.
Eggman jumped suddenly, "Aha!"
"Mm?" his two robots looked up suddenly, startled.
"There's our opening!" Eggman said, switching the Eggmobile into high gear, barreling toward the fortress, "We'll sneak in before the spotlights and robots have a chance to get back to the entrance!"
And, without a hitch, they arrived undetected and docked inside the base.
"Aha! There it is, right there!" Eggman gleefully leaped out of his Eggmobile, surprisingly nimble for his size, and bounded toward a large plexiglass container. Inside of it was the red Chaos Emerald, seated majestically on a weight-sensitive security alarm. "Well, time to get to work!"
Orbot and Cubot grinned at each other, before hauling out a comically-large laser cannon over to their boss, setting it directly in front of the glass container.
Cubot peered over the edge of the tall ledge they stood on, looking below.
"Careful, pal," Orbot said, "That's quite the drop. I believe the base's electrical power supply is down there..."
"Whoa," Cubot said, "We'd better be careful then! Whew, anyway, boss, here's your laser-whatzit!"
"Switch it on!" Eggman ordered.
Orbot mashed down the blaster's power switch, and it whirred to life, lighting up with a steady hum as it charged up its shot. "Wait for it..."
"Now!" Orbot and Cubot flinched, waiting for the cannon to fire. After a brief moment, the blaster fired an extremely thin beam at the glass, tracing a circle along its edges until a neat, precise hole had been cut. The cannon then powered down, its loud whirring dulling into silence.
Orbot and Cubot blinked. That was it?
"Heehee!" Eggman reached into the container, yoinking the Emerald away with one hand and quickly replacing it with the other. In its place, he'd left a plush toy modeled after his own likeness. It weighed as much as the Emerald had, and its tongue was sticking out in a taunting gesture.
Cubot paused, "It... worked..."
"Ah, beautiful..." Eggman said, gazing at his own reflection in the red gem's shiny surface, "And the Emerald certainly isn't too shabby-looking either! Heheh!"
Orbot rolled his eyes.
"Ho ho! Come on, let's split before-" Eggman was suddenly caught off by a loud sound.
RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!
A hail of gunfire suddenly showered the room, catching Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot off guard.
"Dah! Eggman dove out of the way, fumbling with the Emerald until it dropped and rolled a short distance away.
Orbot and Cubot, meanwhile, quickly ducked behind the huge glorified glass-cutter they'd brought, poking their heads out to see what was going on.
Finally getting his bearings, Eggman looked up as well to see who had shot at him.
"Y-y... you," Eggman said, with both a sense of anxiety and seething rage in his voice, "Omega."
"THAT IS CORRECT," the hulking robot replied, "YOU WERE FOOLISH TO COME HERE, DOCTOR EGGMAN."
"Pah!" Eggman scoffed. He was shaking slightly, as he was unarmed and staring directly into the barrel of gun – one he'd designed no less – but at the same time was overcome with anger at the robot standing before him, so much that any fear he should have felt was utterly ignored, "How's the military treating you, traitor? I'm sure that mopey misfit and that no-good thief have been perfect company for a metallic mutineer like you."
"DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF MY ALLIES, DOCTOR," Omega shoved his arm cannon in Eggman's direction, causing the doctor to reflexively flinch, "I WILL NOW EXACT MY REVENGE UPON Y-."
He was cut off. Suddenly, he was hit in the back of the head with something.
"OW," Omega responded, turning his head around. Though he was surprised, his voice was as monotonous as ever, "WHO DARES TO ATTACK E-123 OMEGA?"
"Hey!" Cubot yelled angrily, "Leave our boss alone! Or... uh, I'll throw another one of these wrenches at you!"
"Ugggh, I don't know why I'm doing this this, I really don't know why I'm doing this..." Orbot muttered quietly, before addressing the much larger robot, "Er... yes. Halt, or you'll feel the full wrath of the Eggman Empire! ...If you'd be so kind!"
Eggman pressed the palm of his hand to his face. Nevertheless, he was surprised. These cowardly cretins were sticking their necks out for... him?
"STAND ASIDE, YOU WORTHLESS CONSUMER MODELS," Omega retorted, "MY GRUDGE IS AGAINST EGGMAN, NOT YOU. GET OUT OF MY WAY OR I WILL ANNHILATE YOU AS WELL."
Orbot laughed nervously and began to back away, "Ha ha! W-well, when you put it that way..."
Cubot shot him a disapproving glare.
Orbot stopped, shaking his head. He'd have to distract this crazy robot, he reasoned. "Now, see here, Mr. Omega! I'm sure we're all reasonable robots. Why don't see just sit down and talk about this like civilized machines?"
Omega raised his guns toward the two.
"Dah, just... just stop! And listen to me, you trigger-happy loon!" Orbot stammered.
Omega's internal fans whirred slightly, almost as if he was humming as he pondered the situation.
Finally, Cubot broke the silence, "Why do wanna hurt Eggman so badly, anyway?"
Orbot scowled, "I thought we might try getting his mind off of that, you-"
Omega interrupted, "BECAUSE I WAS EGGMAN'S BEST ROBOT. I WAS DESIGNED TO HELP EGGMAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD. HOWEVER... THAT SELFISH SCIENTIST NEVER APPRECIATED ANYTHING I DID FOR HIM. I WAS TREATED LIKE A SLAVE, AND WAS NEVER REWARDED FOR MY LOYAL SERVICE. HE CREATED ME, AND YET HE TREATED ME AS A MERE THING."
The two robots listened, maybe relating just a bit to Omega's rant. Eggman frowned uncomfortably.
Angrily, the robot pointed at Eggman, "THAT SCIENTIST IS A SELF-CENTERED, UNCARING SLAVE-DRIVER."
Cubot replied, "Hey, that's going way- well, a little too far!"
Orbot shrugged, muttering, "Ehh, I mean... only in the sense of being self-centered... and uncaring..."
"You two idiots aren't helping," Eggman growled.
"Regardless," Orbot went on, "We cannot let you harm Dr. Eggman."
"WHY DO YOU TRY IN VAIN TO PROTECT HIM?" Omega asked, "I HAVE ALREADY MADE IT CLEAR THAT I WILL DESTROY ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY. AND BESIDES... IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH HE TREATS YOU JUST AS BADLY AS HE TREATED ME."
Orbot raised a hand and opened his mouth as if to retort, but then stopped. He had nothing.
"Because..." Cubot nervously said, "It's like you said, Omega. The Doc created us. Sure, he's not the nicest guy in the world. Or the fairest. Or the sanest...."
"Definitely not the best-looking..." Orbot added chipperly.
"You can stop anytime now," Eggman grumbled.
"...but he's our creator. And, well..." Cubot paused, "You don't turn on your family."
Eggman tilted his head slightly. What did that robot call him? ...Family? Bah, what an absurd notion. It was then he noticed his glasses suddenly fog up a bit, and felt a slight trickle of moisture run down his mustache. Bah, what a time to get seasonal allergies!
Omega seemed to think it was absurd too. Because he'd stopped talking. He wasn't even moving. He stood there, motionless, his internal fans whirring loudly again as if he was trying desperately to process what had transpired before him.
Without thinking, and wasting no time, Orbot lunged for the Emerald and chucked it with all his might at the stalled robot, knocking him off balance and teetering over the metallic ledge. He and the Chaos Emerald plummeted down below.
"Wha-" Eggman shook it off. He had to escape now, and quickly ran toward the Eggmobile, grabbing up his two robots along the way. It wouldn't be long before Omega came to and gave chase again, and he knew they needed to leave now. So without waiting another second, Eggman started his ship up.
And with that, they took off into the night sky. Eggman was silent the entire way home, seemingly lost in thought as the three flew through the darkness toward their base.
After arriving, he went to bed without saying a word, leaving Orbot and Cubot alone in the Eggmobile hangar.
"The boss was... sure quiet," Cubot said.
"I think he's probably just a bit disappointed at losing that Chaos Emerald," Orbot noted, "Best to stay out of his way until he cools down."
Cubot nodded, "Yeah... You're probably right. Good night, Orbot."
Orbot waved, "See you tomorrow, pal."
The two found their recharge stations on a nearby wall, retracted into themselves, and went into sleep-mode for the night.
December 25th, 8:00 a.m.
"ORBOT AND CUBOT," Eggman's voice bellowed over the base's P.A. system, "GET DOWN TO MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!"
The two were jolted out of sleep mode, hearing echoes of Eggman's blaring announcement still bouncing around the large metallic room.
"Do... do you think he's mad about that Emerald yesterday?" Cubot asked nervously.
"STOP STALLING AND GET IN HERE!" Eggman yelled again.
"Less questioning, more going!" Orbot answered, as the two scurried along.
The robots sheepishly entered Eggman's office, pushing open a large door that bore the insignia of the doctor's face. As they entered, they saw Eggman sitting with his back turned to them, facing out the large window toward the smog-filled skies outside of his base.
"Ah, there you are," Eggman addressed them, not turning around, "Took you long enough."
"Ah... yes," Orbot answered, "You wanted to speak with us, sir?"
Eggman abruptly spun around in his chair, facing the two minions, "I've been thinking. About something we discussed recently."
"Oh?" Cubot questioned, "What is it, boss?"
Eggman glared, "Don't interrupt! ...But yes. I've decided that I deserve a day of rest to recuperate after yesterday's fiasco. After being attacked and losing my glorious Chaos Emerald, I wish to be left alone. As in, no schemes, no plots, no work. Can I count on you two dimwits to stay out of my way today?"
"B-boss..." Cubot grinned, "Are you..."
Orbot tilted his head in disbelief, "...giving us the day off?"
"N-no!" Eggman snapped, "I already told you, I'm giving myself a vacation from you! ...Along with all my other sources of stress."
Orbot smirked a bit, "Merry Christmas to you too, boss."
Cubot was a bit less reserved, and leaped up to Eggman, grabbing him in an awkward metal-armed hug, "Aw, thank you so much! You're the best boss ever!"
Eggman began shoving the robot off of him, yelling, "GET OUT, BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!"
Cubot jumped down, saluting, "Aye aye, Doc! See ya!"
"Yes, see you tomorrow, sir," Orbot said as he followed Cubot out of the room, "Wait for me, pal!"
Eggman rolled his eyes slightly as his two henchmen left the office, as he muttered "Idiots."
Nonetheless, a smile crept onto his face, as a warmth he was somewhat unfamiliar with swelled within him. It felt... pretty good, actually. ...Hmph. T-that is, getting some time to himself felt good! Not having to deal with Sonic and his bratty friends felt good! A vacation from those buffoons felt good!
Yes, that must have been it.
Merry Christmas, Dr. Eggman