By Ryu-Gi
Author's notes: I actually just got to "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish", but I wanted to write this anyways. Marvin's become my favorite character in the books,
mainly because he's so depressing it's funny. The Marvin in this story is going to be the marvin from the upcoming movie, so try to invision it as him speaking. Also, Since Alan Rickman is the voice of Marvin in the movie, he's the first guest. Anyways, cue the music!
As a nifty tune swelled, The curtain rose, and an audience of creatures from around the universe began clapping. The lifting curtain revealed a white stage that was not unlike the deck of the Heart of Gold. Even that annoying computer was there, spitting ticker tape as usual. Sitting behind a large desk that resembled the main console of the ship, Marvin's round and bulbous head bobbed up and down like a weird bobblehead.
"Um...welcome, I guess. This is the..." Marvin sighed loudly, "Paranoid Android show...just out of curiosity, why paranoid android? I'm more bored then paranoid. Not that anyone cares. I doubt anyone in the audience is even interested in me, and by now all the people at home have switched their 4-D holovisions off.
You call this job satisfaction? Because I don't."
The audience stared.
"Anyways...It's time for the first guest...who obviously hates me. Please welcome...Alan Rickman, the British actor who plays Snape in the Harry Potter Films..."
The Audience appluaded as Alan Rickman in full Snape attire with the black robes billowing behind him entered, crossed the stage, and sat down in a chair near Marvin's desk. Marvin's head bobbled.
"Welcome...Alan Rickman. I'd ask you how you're doing, but then you'd go on and on about how exciting your carrer is, and the fact that you're having fun while I'm manically depressed all the time will make me even more depressed."
"Um...Well...First thing I'm going to say is, thank you Marvin...I think. You know, your voice sounds very familiar. I can't quite put my finger on it..." said Alan Rickman.
"No, you're mistaken. I'm just a bored, depressed robot who everyone thinks is paranoid. I'm so depressed that I'll probably spend the rest of my life just sitting here in this chair, and I'll rust and fall apart still sitting here, still moping. It depresses me to think about it. And you'll hate me for it. Don't deny it, you will. Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and Zaphod makes me do this stupid talk show. It's ghastly. The lights are too bright, and even if they fix it, it'll have to be re-adjusted because it's aimed incorrectly, and then they'll have to fix. The fact that the stage is white and my plastic outer covering is white makes it hard to see me, which is just fine, since nobody likes looking at me anyway. The stage is on a ship that is currently trillions of lght years off course, this chair is too low, and the fact that the author keeps making my giant round head bobble because it's fuinny is making me dizzy."
"Umm..." said Alan.
"Even the audience hates me, because I'm going on and on about how depressed I am when I should be asking Alan here questions. And soon, they'll start throwing vegetables at me, and I'll be even more depressed because I don't know what a tomato tastes like. Then I'll be reminded of tomato juice, which so many people drink because it's healthy even though it tastes like the underside of a Vogon's shoe, and then I'll be even more depressed because the tomato juice from the tomato that will sureley hit me in the head will drip down into my circuitry and I'll be fried. Then as I fry I'll be saddened to know that I survived for millions of years parking ships at the Resturaunt at the End of the Universe, Milliways, only to by fried by a tomato. And then after I fry, my parts will be sold at the lowest bidder, and some loon will hang my head on the wall over the fireplace, with a plaque underneath it readeding 'this is the head of the most depressed robot that ever lived. And then, when the owners of the house die and poeple have to auction off their belongings, no one will want my head. So It'll be thrown to the nearest black hole and my head will me stretched thinner then spaghetti, and land in some god forsaken dimension and will lay there cracked and rusty until the universe ends."
"I'm being pickeld in sarcasm." said Alan Rickman, who had leaned back his head on his chair.
"I'm bored." said Marvin. "Go away so the next guest can come in, Alan."
"For a robot so depressing, you're a real chatterbox." said Alan, leaving the set.
Okay! Reveiw and tell me who you think the next guest shoudl be!