This is not particularly funny, epic, or long, but it was a ton of fun to write and I think it's very cute. I just got bored one day, but I only got halfway through before I got bored again and quit. Then I got the overwhelming urge to write something short and easy on the brain. So here it is!
I do not own the Sisters Grimm, but I do indeed own some chocolate ice cream which currently sits in my refrigerator, and really does help everything.
"Hey, Puck, honey – we're due in two months. We really need to think about names, ya know." A rosy-cheeked Sabrina Grimm rubbed a clean dish towel over the plates her husband handed her. For some strange reason, they'd opted to buy the house with granite countertops and three bedrooms but no working dishwasher.
"Easy. Puck Jr." He grinned in the irritating way that meant he was tripping her delicate nerves on purpose – still a specialty of his after two years of marriage.
"Um, it's a girl. I told you that three months ago, and the nursery is painted pink."
"I know it's a girl. And I wanted the nursery to be green. Green is a better color than dumb old pink."
"You're an idiot. Anyway, I was thinking something classic…"
"How about Titania?"
"Don't make me slap you. We are not naming a precious little gift from God after your mother."
"You mean you don't want to name our kid after the uptight woman who almost killed you when she found out we were engaged, tried to set me up with another girl two weeks before our wedding, and looks down on you to this day? Really?"
"I know, shocker." She slammed the cabinet door after placing the last chipped plate on the appropriate shelf.
"I was just kidding," he said. "You're hilarious when you're irritated."
"Apparently, considering you purposely infuriated me every chance you got from the year I was eleven until our wedding day."
"Good times, good times."
"We're getting off topic. We were talking about baby names."
"Let's name her La'Tani'Ana'Bo'Van'Ashria'Niqua'Liqua'Nice."
"Okay, first of all, I don't understand how you managed to pronounce that, and second of all you're really getting on my nerves. I seriously want your opinion. But no Faerie names. I don't want our kid named something like Rainbowdrizzle."
"Hey, fairies' names are a special part of our heritage! But really, you should give me more credit. I've seen what happens when you name your kid something like Mustardseed."
"Noted. Okay, so give me a name idea already!"
"Uh, I'm a guy. I don't think about baby names. That's your job."
"Don't even go there. But anyway, I want to name her something classy, like Anna or Samantha. Maybe Elizabeth."
"What about Anastasia?"
"It's great, but it's a mouthful. Maybe Margaret. We could call her Marge for short."
"Marge? You want to name our baby Marge? Margaret is nice, but we've got a neighbor whose dog is named Marge. The Trickster Princess will not be named Marge."
"Point taken. You know, it doesn't have to be quite so Jane Austen novelish. I mean, I love Jane Austen, but you know what I mean. Maybe something a little more modern, like Courtney or Melissa."
"Melissa sounds great, but she just doesn't feel like a Courtney, you know?"
"Well, Mr. Intelligent, how do you know what she 'feels like'? She isn't born yet!"
"Oh, don't give me any crap. If she's anything like you, Courtney won't fit her."
"What do you mean by that?" she inquired, leaning back against the granite countertop and wiping her hands on the hem of her old tee shirt, which was distended over her growing stomach.
"Well," said Puck, grinning and kissing her lightly on the cheek, "there's more than one person named Courtney. You're one of a kind."
Sabrina felt her knees knock together a little bit. He still made her feel shaky sometimes. "Well, you are too," she said, her voice quivering and not nearly as confident as she would have liked it to be.
He snorted jokingly. "Of course I am," he said. "How many guys are named Puck, can fly, and are as awesome as I am? Not many, I might remind you."
"I love you," she said, grinning. "Now give me a hug." He responded by wrapping his arms around her squeezing as hard as he could manage without putting pressure on her stomach. "CAN'T – BREATHE!" she gasped. He removed his arms and kissed the spot on the side of her head, right above her ear. She laughed and poked his shoulder forcefully. He was wearing a green hooded sweatshirt, much like the one he'd been wearing when she first saw him, when she was still a child…
She still remembered the first time she'd ever noticed his alarmingly green eyes. How far they'd come since then!
She felt like tasting something sweet. In fact, she desperately needed something with added sugar and lots of caramel right that moment.
"Puck," she said with a tone that conveyed the message that she would be getting what she wanted. "I want some ice cream. Didn't they open up that new place down by the grocery store yesterday?"
"I think so," he said. "If you want we can go down there…"
But his wife had already run to grab her jacket, an ancient blue hoodie from her teens that she just couldn't let go of. She already had the keys to the car by the time she arrived back in the kitchen, red faced and huffing. "I really shouldn't do that," she gasped. "My stamina hasn't been the same in the last six months…"
He had to crack a smile as he yanked her off her feet and carried her to the car.
All mention of names was temporarily forgotten.
But the ice cream was delicious.
Okay, wellz, there ya have it. I liked it, personally. Read and review, my little pretties! Mwahahahahaha!