Note: I've had this for months but it's been in the wrong Dropbox folder. Whoops!

Like the summary says this takes place after The Fall of Mercutio and Starboy, but before Of Breaches, Ambuscadoes

He didn't know what he was doing. The party had been a bad idea in theory and an even worse one in practice. Jellal had a sixth sense for vice and he could feel the drugs in the room. He could hear the oh so fine white powder softly chanting his name. This wasn't the roar of a dragon, though, it was the beautiful song of a siren – and he knew if he strayed too close the song would turn deadly and sink its claws into his flesh.

Jellal's feet moved without his permission. His fists were balled in his pockets but his feet… traitorous things. The couch at the back of the room was shabby and half hidden by two potted rubbed trees and one croton with veined leaves so violently orange that Jellal could think of nothing but a similar couch and his own blood vessels. He circled widely around the plants and finally the low tabletop came into view. Neat white lines stood out harshly against the dark grain of the wood.

Yes, the voice in his head panted. No. This was the voice of the monster he kept chained under his bed. The one he didn't acknowledge. The one that would never go away.

Jellal watched a young boy whose smile was too wide and too bright lean over the lines and made it disappear. Instead of horror he felt a longing so acute, so sharp he couldn't breathe. He wanted the rush again. He wanted to something other than loneliness and the stark reality that he still didn't feel like he had a place at home.

Wait, a voice that sounded a lot like Ultear – or maybe Erza – snapped at him. Do you really feel those things?

"No, of course not," Jellal muttered to himself.

Just because you aren't a part of Love and Lucky doesn't mean you aren't a part of your family. We already learned that lesson, remember? It's what we wanted.

"Right," he whispered. His feet were still treacherously disobedient. Jellal wove through the room, not toward the table but not away from it either. He felt gleefully helpless.

Just one hit. It's fine. Nobody will know. Your classmates are having a good time. Why aren't you? You're an adult now. A college student!

The monster in his head was relentless. Jellal felt the pull of the cocaine eating him from the inside out. He wanted to leave!

He wanted to stay forever.

Jellal took his first real step but before his foot could even hit the floor, someone punched his arm. Hard. A set of sharp nails dug into his arm and Jellal dragged his eyes away from the table and croton leaves.

"Let's go," Ultear said stiffly. She didn't frown at him or scowl. Her expression was painfully flat. Jellal let her pull him back through the house and outside. The air was thick and stifling in the way only the awkward handoff from summer to autumn can be. Jellal sucked in deep breaths and his eyes slid closed. He thought he saw the last of his monster's tail slither back under the bed in his mind. "Better?"

"Yeah," he whispered, his mouth suddenly dry. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize, Jellal. Just tell me if you're alright."

Jellal tore his eyes away from the stars and grinned at Ultear. "I'm good now."

"Is this because Erza's gone? Because you were clean before you met her. Her absence shouldn't trigger you."

"I triggered myself. I came here knowing it was a bad idea and didn't leave when I saw the exact thing I didn't want to see in front of me." He sighed and his grin fell away. "Maybe I'm not over it."

"You'll never be over it," Ultear snapped. "That's why addiction is such a big thing."

"Thanks for the pep talk."

"You're fucking welcome!" She fished her keys from her pocket. "I'll take you home."

"You still in that old cop car?" Jellal teased, following Ultear from the front lawn to the sidewalk.

"Nope!" Ultear said proudly. "I upgraded!"

Jellal didn't know what vehicle to look for but Ultear's key fob lit up the headlights of a black SUV. He could not contain his laughter.

"Oh my god," he said between fits.

"It is an upgrade." Ultear sniffed haughtily.

"You've gone from an old Crown Vic to a retired police SUV." Jellal sighed and circled the vehicle before sliding into the passenger seat. Ultear hoisted herself behind the wheel and he felt the weight on his chest lift ever so slightly. "It suits you."

"The back seat and trunk space is nice," she said with a smirk.

"Hey."

"What?"

"You're a good friend."

"And you're lucky to have me?"

"I am."