A/N : Ahhhhh! Sorry I get moods like this.
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"POTTER ! What are we doing here ??"
"Calm yourself, Professor. I am sure that there is a perfectly logical explanation," said Draco.
"Do not give me any of your lip, boy!!" shrieked Snape, turning purple in hue and rounding on the Slytherin. "This is your fault! How do you propose we get out of this CURSED BATHROOM?"
Draco looked round. "At least it's a spacious bathroom," he ventured placatingly. Snape mouthed soundlessly and took to banging his head against the wall.
"I am in the Prefects' Bathroom on the 5th floor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," he said slowly, eyeing the students malevolently and clearly making a great effort not to have an embolism. "It is Friday, December 5th, around the time of 8:30 in the evening. I am incarcerated in the company of a bucktoothed Mudblood, a gold haired weasel and a – a – GRYFFINDOR HEROBOY, all of which are DRUNK as LAMPPOSTS, MYSELF INCLUDED, and there is NO WAY OUT… NO – NO WAY… OUUTTT…" He ran at the wall and crashed into it, apparently determined to knock himself out.
Harry shook his head and walked to the door, examining it closely.
"It's LOCKED!" he exclaimed triumphantly. Snape slid to the floor weeping.
"Potter, I am going to kill you."
"Now, now, Professor, let us not be rash," said Draco soothingly. "Hermione will have a plan."
The three turned to face Hermione. She was dangling her feet in the pool in the centre of the room, humming to herself. "You bring the blue skies into my life…"
Snape stared at her. Harry put out a hand to restrain him but Snape suddenly charged at Hermione, diving at her and causing them both to fly into the pool.
"Hermione!" called Harry, stripping heroically and diving to her rescue.
Draco sighed and twiddled his thumbs. "I don't mean to interrupt, but there is a rather fine stash of booze over here, I don't know if you're interested…"
Harry leapt springingly out of the water and bounded over to Draco. Hermione made feeble sounds of protest from the water but Snape was still attempting to strangle her, so she could not get very far.
Draco spun round to face Harry, his hair falling sexily down in front of his eyes.
"Martini, mon cher?"
Harry smiled seductively. "Make it a double."
Hermione made further squeaking noises. Snape gave up and let her go, and turned his attentions instead to trying to drown himself. He did not get far before Hermione grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the pool.
"Look!" she giggled.
Snape glanced around with a kind of weak loathing.
"The boys!" exclaimed Hermione.
Snape turned lethargically towards the bar and promptly fell back into the pool in shock.
Harry and Draco were kissing energetically, martinis forgotten on the bar. Hermione laughed manically and backflipped into the pool, incidentally onto Snape, who had just resurfaced.
"GRANGER! How dare you backflip onto a teacher?" He glared at her. "And where did you get that hot pink bikini? You look much too attractive, Granger, it really won't do."
Hermione kissed him, abruptly stifling all further remonstrances. She broke away, breathless.
"Look, I don't quite know what my feelings are for you, but… your hair really does look quite nice when it's washed."
Snapes eyes opened as wide as was humanely possible and he nodded dumbly.
"Like – likewise, I'm sure, Miss Granger."
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A/N : Yes I am a loon! This was a rewrite of something else… Ya, ya, do tell me what you think :D