Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. This takes place during 'The Girl In the Fireplace'. If you haven't seen that episode, you probably won't know who Reinette (Madame de Pompadour) is. Or why she's talking about the Doctor.
Author's Note: The Girl In the Fireplace was one of my favorite Doctor Who episodes. I just had to write something about it. It was such a great, yet sad story. I hope you enjoy.
He would be right back, he said. Just pick a star.
I can see the stars outside my window and I cannot believe that soon I will be among them. Mon dieu! What does one take when one will be among the stars? I suppose I will wait and see.
That girl, Rose, she was not dressed the same way as I dress. She did not dress as anyone dressed. I have never seen any girl like her before. I wonder if the Doctor made her that way, or if the Doctor took her with him because of who she is.
I do hope that he will enjoy my company. I have seen how lonely he can be should he choose not to have a companion. Now he will have three. I do not understand how such a man can find himself alone. He is an angel.
He is more than an angel. He has come in and out of my life and each time has affected me in such a way as to completely change the world I live in. The Doctor has a habit of destroying all notions of normal and leaving behind instead a sense that anything at all can happen. It is terrifying and thrilling and I am both greatly attracted to the man and scared to death of him.
There is no sign of the Doctor now and I have to wonder how long it will take him. He said he would be back in a few minutes.
He calls himself a Time Lord. No, that is not right. I have seen inside his mind and he is a Time Lord. It is not just a title. He is a Time Lord just as I am a human. I do not know what to make of that, but he can travel through various points of my life as if they had taken place just minutes apart for him. The slow path is what he calls my life. I suppose Time Lords are never on the slow path.
There is his name…
I know many people with titles but I have never known any of them to not have a name. The Doctor has a name but he conceals it so that no one knows. I know this is his greatest secret and he has never told anyone. I do not know what it is. There is much attached to that name. I have a feeling that his name means more than any other name in the entire universe.
It seems that more than a few minutes have gone by. The fire is still roaring but I see no sign of my Doctor. He has been gone but a few moments yet I long to see his face, if only to know that he still exists. In the past, just when I have found myself, he would turn up again.
He has promised me the universe and my heart races at the possibilities. There is nothing, it seems, that he is not capable of.
I could see it in his companion's eyes. She, Rose, must feel the same way towards the Doctor as I do. She must live such a terrifying, thrillingly uncertain life. She must love him to stay with him through everything.
When he comes back, I will give him that same devotion. He changed my life; the least I can do is promise to be there for him.
It grows late. The moon is high and still my Doctor has not come for me. Only a few minutes, he said. Where is he now? Perhaps he needed to take care of something on that strange world of his, or perhaps he just wanted some time with Rose and their other companion. On the other side, I wonder how long they waited for him to come back to them.
I wonder if it was as long as I am waiting now.
I wonder if life with the Doctor is a life full of waiting. Perhaps it is also a life of getting left behind. He is a man that defies time, while the rest of us must live through it. It is no small wonder that he should leave us behind no matter how much we love him, or he us. Balance must be impossible.
He is not coming.
I can feel it. Every time he disappeared he came back, but years later. Why should this be no different? He may have thought he knew what he was doing, but I have been inside his head. I know that, Time Lord though he may be, he still does not know everything.
I do not think even he fully understands the nature of time.
The Doctor has promised me something he cannot give. He is a Lord of Time but not the Lord of the Universe. Perhaps it is for the best. Rose told me that none of this, neither the Doctor nor the monsters, was supposed to happen. I did not understand her then, but I may have to understand now. Perhaps I was never supposed to go with the Doctor and that is why he cannot come.
I know he would not leave me here alone with a false hope. He has simply been delayed by something more powerful than time.
I will keep my clothes packed and ready. The Doctor may not be here now, but I must always be prepared.
I know that eventually my Doctor will come. He always does.