Twelve years had passed since John Moore had met Laszlo Kreizler. And what an unlikely friendship they'd been able to form, for the two men shared a similar social class and background, but in every other way they were as dissimilar as cats and dogs.
John, ever the social butterfly, easily charmed his way into most university circles despite being a freshman at Harvard. He had many friends but none of them were truly close. Until he met Kreizler, that is.
Laszlo, on the other hand, was all-consumed by his books. His lack of interest for social interaction and his avant-garde theories had turned him into an ostracized student. He was well known, however, for being the prodigy who, at only 23, had studied Medicine in Columbia before coming to Harvard for his second degree, this time on Criminal Psychology.
They'd met under unusual circumstances, when John suffered an injury during a football team practice. A strong hit to the head had left him concussed and Laszlo, being the closest doctor on campus, had quickly obliged to help. John would often reminisce about that first time he had needed Laszlo, and how he had never stopped needing him since.
They had quickly become inseparable. Different enough to find each other fascinating, but similar enough to understand each other perfectly. John's light-heartedness and optimism perfectly complementing Laszlo's seriousness and realism. And so, it was only natural for John to turn to Laszlo when his deepest secret became too heavy a burden for him to carry alone. John knew for certain that his friend would not only help him with his problem, being as he was an expert on psychological deviances, but he would also take the secret to the grave.
Kreizler, of course, had remained completely unaltered by the strange request of a meeting outside of college grounds, in the middle of an April night.
John hadn't said a word about the subject matter of the encounter, but to Laszlo it was clear that something was upsetting him, he had never seen the younger man so quiet. Upon waiting for a moment and seeing his prolonged silence, he decided to speak first.
"As much as I enjoy your company, dear John, I sincerely hope you haven't brought me here at two in the morning merely to share a glass of whiskey and stare at the fireplace", Laszlo said in an effort to lighten the mood.
"I wish", said John, trying his best to smile back despite the feeling of dread overcoming him.
"You said something about needing my professional help, as a patient?" asked Laszlo.
"And as a friend", John replied, and swallowed hard to get rid of the knot in his throat.
"As you know, I don't have my degree just yet", Laszlo said, ever the professional, "but you know I will help you in any way I can", he added with a smile.
It was exactly what John had hoped to hear, but it made him none less nervous to admit to his problem.
"I… I'm afraid I'm sick, Laszlo. Sick in the head", he started, the shame and disgust clear in his voice. Encouraging himself with a sip of whiskey, John continued. "And if my family finds out they'll surely send me away to an asylum. You have to help me get better", he pleaded, distressed at the mere thought of the shame it would entail.
He saw Laszlo's countenance visibly shift, from laid back to one of both curiosity and seriousness. The doctor took a moment to study John before speaking.
"I'd like to believe I would have noticed if my closest friend were to show any symptoms of disorder." He held John's gaze and tried to sound reassuring, as he added, "Tell me all about it".
The problem was clear, and common as well. But John could not find it in him to say it out loud.
"Well, you see… I find myself having some degree of an unnatural attraction", he started. He looked at Laszlo to see if his words had been enough for him to guess, but his friend merely nodded at him to continue. John sighed.
"A… physical, attraction". He looked away to say the final words, "To people… of my own sex". He finished. Laszlo's eyes lit up in realization, and John quickly panicked, afraid of his friend passing judgment. Unable to look at the older man in the face, John stood up and started frantically pacing the room.
"It's terrible, I know! I… I want to stop it, I want to change! I just need to know how. I can't afford the risk of my reputation being ruined and…"
"John, sit down." Laszlo tried to stop the other man's ramblings, but to no avail.
"…And I've thought about just hiding it, but I'm scared someone will look at me and just know! it's driving me insane, Laszlo"
"John!" Laszlo shouted. The doctor seldom lost his temper like this, it made John stop in his tracks, breathing heavily. Laszlo stood up and walked to him.
"Sit. Down." The older man said. Despite being shorter and smaller in size, the authority in his voice was more than enough to make John obey immediately.
A couple of sips of whiskey later, John had recovered his composure. Laszlo was then ready to give him his diagnosis. The young man braced himself for what followed, since he knew Laszlo to be painfully honest and straightforward with his opinion. The next words would prove, however, that he didn't know his friend as well as he thought.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with you", was all he said.
John did not know how to react to that. He wondered if his friend was mocking him and asked him so. But he assured him of his sincerity.
"Stop playing with me, Laszlo", said John, angrily. "I know for a fact that every single one of those psychology books you love so much have something to say about the abhorrent deviancy of the homosexual sickness".
"Only narrow minds stick to what's written in books, John", Laszlo replied calmly. "I have done extensive research and I've found some studies that discovered natural same-sex relationships between many animal species. They've all been covered up and buried by the scientific establishment, which I personally believe to be a crime". Laszlo continued his musings without noticing John's growing anger. "Besides, there are also many historical accounts dating back to ancient Greece where it was a perfectly normal part of society."
John felt himself starting to lose his patience. When he replied, his voice gradually raised until he was screaming the words.
"Well I am neither an animal or an uncivilized barbarian, so again, I ask of you to forget your wayward theories for a second and help me get rid of this like a normal psychologist would!".
Laszlo was rendered speechless. For a second, John could clearly see in his expression how stunned and offended he was, and instantly regretted saying it. But the older man quickly recovered from the shock, and it was replaced with cold and barely contained anger.
"Very well then. A 'normal' expert, as you put it, would tell you that the combined trauma of a bad relationship with your father, along with the early death of a younger brother caused you to reach out for masculine figures in an un-natural way. And he would prescribe conversion therapy, or even punitive therapy, and lock you up for life. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
John could no longer keep the tears that had formed in his eyes from finally running free. Kreizler realized that he'd failed, both as a professional and a friend, to help him. The usual feeling of disappointment in himself washed through him. Why did he always hurt the people he cared about the most?
Determined not to risk losing his friend because of his insensitivity, Laszlo slowly approached and kneeled in front of John's chair, trying to meet the green eyes that were avoiding him. He took one of John's hands in his good one and spoke again. His voice was softer this time, but none the less passionate.
"There is nothing wrong with you", he said. John returned his gaze then and found nothing but honesty in Laszlo's hazel eyes.
"My only prescription would be to stop living your life in shame, guilt and fear", he added, with a look so earnest that John felt a surge of affection upon the realization that Laszlo was truly worried about him. The older man spoke once more.
"I'm afraid you'll have to be very discreet with this part of yourself, due to the laws in place, but always know that in my presence, you can be completely honest", said Laszlo. Next, he stood up again and started refilling both of their glasses with whiskey, as if everything was normal, as if, with those words, Laszlo hadn't irrevocably carved his way into John's heart.