Author: Nadz
E-mail: vegitto02 at yahoo dot com

Note: This poem-story is an alternate future of what happens soon after Blade exceeds his thirty-minute time limit and becomes a Radam slave. Also, please let me know what you think. Thanks!

I know not what I do.
No, I must not lie to myself any longer.
The truth is…
I know not how to stop what I am doing.

In its unforgiving and relentless clutches,
My soul has been mercilessly trapped.
Losing more control is the only thing I can manage,
That control that makes me my very own person

Yet, I cannot stop what I am doing!
For a red haze bathes my eyes and fetters my mind…
I beg for mercy; I beg for freedom
Yet I am the only one who listens.

I am the only one who listens to my own cries.
I am the only one who was listening to his.
I lift my lance and see the blood dripping slowly from its edges,
And I look down upon the silent, fallen body of my friend.

No! Why, God? Why couldn't I stop myself?
Why are you letting me hurt my friends?
Please help me with your heavenly power!
Please save me with your divine strength!

I keep quiet, praying for a response
Praying that a miracle will liberate me.
Praying that I will regain my control.
Yet, I only hear the soft sound of his blood,
Dripping from my lance… onto the hard floor.
Again, I am the only one listening.

I want to scream, but my body is buzzing…
Buzzing with delight as my mouth chuckles.
I look down the hallway behind me…
The hallway littered with their corpses…
I want to cry… I want to die…

I look down again at my most recent victim.
He never trusted me at first, but he soon changed.
He offered me his friendship despite his reservations
And this is how I repaid him for what he had done for me.
I never wanted to hurt you… I'm sorry, Noaru…
But I know not how to stop what I am doing.

Why? Why can't I stop myself?
Am I too weak? What had I done wrong?
It doesn't matter now, for they are all dead
Every single Space Knight… except for one…

Yes, she can help me break free from this jail.
She had given me the strength before,
And she will bring me back.
Where are you, Aki? I need you…

I need you to help me! I need you to save me!
She hears my call and enters the hallway.
She looks at me and gasps at my lance.
She looks down and sees our friend.

I step towards her, but she turns away
She turns away, screaming as she runs
As she runs further into the darkness
The darkness of the twisting corridor…

Please, don't run! Please help me!
No, Aki, you can't do this to me! Not you…
You, who always gave me your support…
You, who always believed in me…

She continues to shriek in terror as she flees
But I follow her and trap her in a corner
She turns around, and my heart shatters
Tears are flowing down her cheeks.

She is terrified.
She is terrified by death.
She is terrified by a monster.
She is terrified by a devil.
She is terrified by me.

No, you have always been there for me!
Why are you turning away now?
Please save me! I need you!
But she stays frozen, crying.

And my mind fills with horror,
For the red haze that clouds my mind
Does not stop me from seeing my hand
Raise my lance towards her shaking figure,
Ready to lodge itself in her person.

No! Please, God, please hear me!
Not to her! Don't let me do this!
But the insect in my brain only chuckles
As it continues to control my actions,
It won't be long before it seizes my emotions.

No, I won't let myself do this to her!
She remains motionless, her back against the wall
As she looks at me with a look of horror and fear…
Fear of what is to come… Fear of what I have become.

I will not let myself do this!
Each one of my friends is dead… slaughtered… killed…
Killed by the destruction brought about by my hands.
But I must stop these hands from hurting her!

She gasps as she sees my hand
Pull back my lance, ready for a quick, final, thrust
A thrust that would end her life
And free her from her living hell.

We stand motionless, watching each other
Waiting for the other to make the first move
I struggle against the insect in my skull
Trying to fight with the last of my strength.

Seconds pass… minutes pass…
And then it finally happens.
I defeat the parasite. At last!
It retreats from its control.
I am back to myself, at least for now.

The red haze fades away from my vision,
And I hear the clattering of my lance,
Which drops loudly on the metal floor.
I speak out to her, telling her that I am back.
Telling her that I have been saved.

With a final release of anguish, she cries.
Her back slides down the wall,
But I reach towards her and hold her arms…
With my hands, stained by the blood of our friends.

She breaks down, but I catch her in an embrace.
The guilt of what I had done tears through my body.
It plagues my heart and rips into my tormented soul.
I have betrayed my own people…

There is no reversal for what I have done
But there is nothing I can do about that.
Death is final, and I have lost them forever.
But I still have her… I still have Aki.

The two of us are crying together
The two of us are grieving together
I am holding her in my arms,
Telling her how sorry I am

Tears of grief flow freely from my eyes.
As we continue our awkward embrace.
An embrace that will last eternally
Because of the horror of what is to come.

Our moment of peace is instantly shattered
As I feel an agonizing pain through my person.
I clearly hear Aki gasp as well,
And I see blood pouring from her chest.

I try to turn around, but I cannot.
His lance had torn through my back
And out from my stomach…
Only to enter her soft body thereafter.

As he stands behind me,
I gasp as I hear his chuckle
I gasp as I hear his words
He says that there was hope for me
But that this hope has disappeared
Because I have turned traitor once again.

I realize that the furtive devil
In the form of my twin brother
Had impaled us both during our embrace
First me… and then her… with one stroke…

We cry out in pain, but we still hear his words.
He says that we are better off this way.
He watches as we struggle for our lives
As we collapse weakly to the ground.

I am now lying on my back,
And she is lying on top of me.
I continue to hold her in my arms,
And I see his lance protrude out of her backside.

My brother laughs at our fate,
And tells us of the imminent destruction
About to befall what we've always called 'home.'
There would be nothing to stop them now… nothing…

I cry out for him to stop, to listen to reason,
But he only laughs in scorn and bitterness.
He celebrates my pending death,
He chortles at our painful demise,
And then he leaves… he leaves us alone…
To suffer the anguish of the inevitable.

My armor fades away,
Leaving our bodies touching
And I gaze into her eyes,
Only to see them close slowly.

Her strength fades away
And her arms lie still.
A last teardrop falls from her eye,
And splashes against my cheek.

She brings her head down slowly,
And rests it against my chest.
With a brief, final exhale,
Her soul frees itself from this world.

Yet, she will not be alone.
I will be joining her very soon.
I will be joining her… because I failed…
I failed, Father… I failed…

All for which I had fought will be gone…
The Earth will become a wasteland…
All because of my failure…
A failure that I will not have to deal with…
For my troubles are about to end…

Now the pain is fading away…
With my final, fleeting strength,
I gently stroke her hair and tell her
How much she means to me…

I can only hope that she can hear me…
I can only hope that there will be an afterlife…
I can only hope that we will be reunited there…
But I do not know, Aki… I do not know…

I can only hope… I can only pray…
And do nothing else, for my time has come…
I will never forget you… I promise…
Good bye, Aki… Good bye…

With a last, sad smile, I close my eyes… forever.