A/N: Yes, yes, I know, this is really insane. But then, so am I.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, settings, blah blah blah. I only own the plot and my own insanity. Anyway, enjoy!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The teachers were plotting.
They were in the staff room: McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Sinistra, and Snape were in on it. They were sitting in front of a pile of greens, to which red ribbons were tied. It was mid-December, a week before the school broke for the holidays.
McGonagall let out an uncharacteristically evil cackle.
This should be fun.How many are we going to hang up? Flitwick asked.
It was Sprout who answered. What do you lot think? Ten or so? Classroom corridors, one in the Great Hall, definitely, in the dungeons...in the dormitories? said Sinistra. I don't know. That might not work unless we could enlist some students, and I don't want to do that in this stage of the game. Snape put in.
said McGonagall. Let's get to work, shall we? Do the other professors know?Some of them, Sprout replied. Dumbledore knows; he gave us permission. I'm sure he thinks it's delightfully funny. And most of the other teachers: they'll enforce if we ask them. But we're the leaders of this thing. said McGonagall. When they wake up tomorrow, the students will have a...pleasant surprise.
They each took some of the pile of greens and red ribbons and exited quietly.
Hermione Granger awoke with a yawn to a strange feeling. This is going to be an odd day, she thought. Then, shrugging, she got up, pulled on her robes, and went down to breakfast.
She met her best friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, at the Gryffindor table. Well, actually, Ron was more than a friend in Hermione's eyes, and it was pretty plain he felt the same. But they were both shy around each other when they weren't bickering. Oh well, Hermione thought, someday.Just then Dumbledore stood up, and the Hall quieted.
Dumbledore said, Your teachers have been...up to some Christmas cheer. A low murmur spread, but Dumbledore raised his hand and the students quieted. Eye twinkling, he continued, They've been hanging some....greenery.
A few of the students had now figure out what he was on about and there were groans mixed with giggles.
I will let Professor McGonagall tell you more about it, Dumbledore finished, and sat as McGonagall stood up.
The greenery our Headmaster mentioned is mistletoe, she said plainly, a rare bit of a smile on her face. Teachers will be monitoring the spots where the mistletoe hangs. If two people pass under a spot at the same time.... her smile widened. Males and females must kiss each other--on the lips. Pairs of males and pairs of females may decide if they wish to kiss on the lips or on the cheek.
It seemed that every girl in the Great Hall was giggling now, and every boy was groaning.
McGonagall continued: There will be no exceptions. And we might move the mistletoe around, so don't count on there being nothing above you. Don't try to take shortcuts around the castle: that will make things worse for you if you pass under mistletoe.
A Merry Christmas to all, she concluded, and sat.
The Great Hall was instantly abuzz.
Hermione had a small bit of a smile on her face.
What are you smiling about, Hermione? Harry growled. This is---awful.
Well, actually, she replied, I find it rather funny.You will, said Ron, until you're caught under it. Then you'll be singing a different tune!
Hm, Hermione thought, that would depend on who I'm caught under it with....