Chapter 27

/*It's the part when Katniss goes back to District 12 after her trial. ;) [the first two line are from the actual book, but after that is what I wrote and thought of.] Italics are Katniss' thoughts. :)*/

"Well, see you tomorrow," says Haymitch.

As the clinking of his bag of liquor bottles fades away, I whisper, "I doubt it."

I can't seem to be able to move from the chair. To move my feet. To move my arms. To do anything. All I did was to stay there in the rocker, sit still, and stare into the fire place. Katniss, the girl on fire. . . So much for that.

I don't remember sleeping at all. But maybe I did, and just didn't notice it. All I know is that the next thing I saw was bacons, eggs, toasted bread, and a glass of orange juice in front of me. Orange. . . juice.

"Eat. You need that," is what I heard.

I looked around and heard the fire burning in the kitchen. Lunch, maybe.

And then I remembered whose voice that belonged to. Greasy Sae. I was able to mutter, "Thanks," before she leaves and says, "You may eat the beef I cooked for you. If you don't want to, then don't. But I'll be back by dinner time to check on you and heat it again so you could have dinner."

Conversations between Greasy Sae and I only happens when she comes to the house and cook food for me. She'd tell me that I should eat and all I say is a thank you before she leaves. I guess that went on for a month or so. She comes by the house, cooks, tells me to eat, I consume the food and say thank you and then she leaves. It's a cycle, really. And honestly, I don't know if she's doing it because she's paid to do so or if she's just really a kind neighbor. Either way, I feel sorry for her because she gets to stay with me and watch me eat, even if I haven't taken a bath.

Water.

I guess it's because I am Katniss, the girl on fire. And fire doesn't like water at all. Never did. Never will.

I do manage myself to go to the bathroom, though, which is a few steps from the rocker I sit on. Good thing Greasy Sae was kind enough to remove the mirror there. I wouldn't want to even go there if there was a mirror. But nature calls, and I manage to go there at times, with no mirror, with nothing to disturb my 'peace'. That was the bathroom for guests. No bath tubs or showers, just a simple toilet with a mirror, which was removed.

Once again, Greasy Sae comes into the house but this time, our conversation wasn't just about eating. "It's Spring already."

I looked at her and manage to smile. She started cooking and I started thinking again. I guess, it was the first time I know that I was thinking about something after everything that happened in the Capitol.

Spring.

That was, supposedly, my favorite time. My favorite season. Where all the flowers and in bloom. The trees and tall and green. The birds, the mockingjays, singing ever so beauitifully. Supposedly. But what do I do? Stay on that rocker and wait for night to fall down again.

The next day was an improvement for Greasy Sae and I. We managed to talk about something else. She first told me to answer the phone and I said, "I don't want to." And then the usual conversation comes again. Improvement, right?

I managed to stand up when night came and look outside the window. I saw Haymitch walking, not straight but in circles, on the road. Typical Haymitch. I went back to sit on the rocker after seeing him.

Graesy Sae finally made me go out the next day. She told me to go hunting and I just nodded and went to my room to look for the tools I need. The first thing I noticed was the rose. That filthy rose Snow gave me. Ugh, the stench.

I got the vase with the rose and threw the rose into the sink in the kitchen. I smashed the vase there as well and crushed into tinier pieces so it could go down the drainage. Good thing Graesy Sae was already out or I'd be making a fool out of myself once again. I sat on the kitchen floor, with my back against one of the kitchen closets.

Hot liquid.

I started to feel those hot tears passing through my cheeks and down to my neck. Sweat also comes along with the tears. And then I thought of my mother, on how she can comfort me right now. It feels so weird that she is alive and well, but she's not in the house with me. So much for what I call home.

And then I realize how can she go back here. To District 12. Where all of her loved ones died. My dad. Prim. And myself. Well, I'm not dead in a sense my heart stopped beating. But for me, I feel dead already.

And then I thought of Gale. My Best Friend. On how he would congratulate me on killing Snow. On how he could make me smile. And then I thought, where he was. I never got to ask Greasy Sae about the rest of my friends. I then decided to ask her the next day so we could talk about something else.

I also thought about Haymitch. The worst and best mentor, I can ever have. Peeta and I can ever have.

Peeta.

Where is he?

I slept after that thought and woke up screaming after a few hours, or so i felt as. Tears were still going down my cheeks. Screams going out of my throat.

I heard the front gates opening and thought that it must be Greasy Sae. She must have went back to cook me dinner. But when I looked at the clock it says 12:05 am. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. I hear the clocks go.

I screamed once more as I remember my dream. On how every single person I killed went to me and buried me alive. More screams, more tears.

"Katniss?"

That's what I heard, until I felt two arms encircling me and saying, "Hush. Hush. Everything's going to be fine."

And I knew everything's going to be fine. I knew those arms around me. I knew that voice to told me. And I knew, it's going to be better. It was those arms that comforted me during the Games and after the Games. Those arms around me and that person was the only thing that can comfort me through all of my nightmares. Because he was there with me. And up until now.

Peeta.

He's here with me.

I slept after that thought, managing to smile. Sleeping soundly, with him around.

I woke up the next day with a smile. "Greasy Sae?" was all I asked. "She won't be here. I told her that I could manage it."

It was Peeta. So last night wasn't just a horrible nightmare and a wonderful dream of comfort. Last night, that wonderful dream of comfort was real.

The phone rang, and this time I was in the right state of mind to actually hear it, respond to it, and answer it. "Finally, you're answering the phone," Peeta remarks.

It was Dr. Aurelius. He first thanked me that I finally answered the phone and told me to thank Peeta because as he said it, "I guess, you finally saw Peeta again so you had the spirits to stand up and answer the phone." I laughed at his remark and told me that I've been better now he's around. "I guess I am," I said. He told me to go outside more and to smile and to talk more. And all I said was, "I know I will," and bid my goodbye and put the phone down.

I went back to the kitchen and found that Peeta just finished cooking. We talked about when he came back, which was last night. About my mom, living better as she treats people. About Gale, getting a job. About Haymitch, still drunk. About everybody else.

Now, there is a new cycle. Greasy Sae wouldn't go to my house everyday. But she would, at times, when her granddaughter would want to visit me. I would play with her granddaughter now, and not just sit there and look at her blankly. I got to manage the garden with her granddaughter as well. We planted primroses all over. And she would play with Buttercup and run around.

Prim.

I miss her so much. No words can ever describe what I'm feeling right now about her.

Peeta would go to my house and we would cook together, eat together, talk together, and spend the rest of the day together. I would watch him paint or bake. He would try to teach me, and I know I'm getting better at it. In return, I would teach him how to hunt. And for the good side of myself, I'd tell him he's starting to move with less noise than before. At night, we would camp out, or sleep in my room or in his room. Whichever, whatever, I am happy to be with him.

Haymitch started to go back to my life as well. He woudn't be just that sick, old, drunk bastard near my house. He started to become that mentor I once had. Peeta and I would go to his house and wake him up. Different strategies every day. We could use water, slap him, bring a lot of alarm clocks. We even bought a gong for him. It's a huge laugh when we wake him up with his knife directed at us. We were never afraid of that. Because we knew that he knows that it was just us, playing along.

My mom and Gale would call me at times as well. We would talk for hours on the phone, talking about the most random things in life. I miss them, really. And one day came, when Peeta and I decided to visit them.

It was just a short conversation between us before we slept in my room. With the clock ticking. With the moon and the stars outside my window. With the cool breeze gushing through one open window. With he and I on my bed, with him fiddling my hair.

"Real or not real? You love me."

Tick tock. Tick tock. The clock strikes 12. Tick tock. Tick tock.

"Real," I say.

And when I looked him in the eyes, I knew that we had to visit my mom and Gale and tell them everything.