I'm sorry that I cant get to my other stories at the moment. I have major writers block, but I will get back to them someday. I hope you enjoy this one.

BPOV

I was mad. No I was more than mad, I was downright ticked off. After six months he comes back, granted he almost killed himself in Italy, but still. I was confused and upset with him when he told me he didn't love me, heck I practically died in that forest when he told me. I became a shell of myself, wondering why he didn't love me anymore. I gave up questioning after three months. I am ticked off at him that he tried to kill himself, even though I tried three times. But what I was really mad about was that he lied to me. He lied and made our lives a living hell. I thought we were truthful to each other. I know I have some secret skeletons in my closet now, but I would tell him everything if he asked.

I pulled up in there long drive way in my new black Aston Martin Vanquish. I have no clue where Charlie got the money for this, but he gave it to me after my truck finally kicked the bucket.

I slammed the door and marched up the stairs to the timeless white house that was the Cullen's. I pushed the door open; sorry I didn't knock, and headed straight to the living room. I noticed everyone was there except Edward. "Where's Edward?" I growled. They all looked shocked except for Alice. Little pixie probably saw me coming. "In his room." Pixie answered. I nodded my head and headed up the stairs.

They were probably shocked to see me. I know I didn't look good. Ratty gray, sweat pants that hung low on my, too thin to be healthy, hips. A gray Hollister jacket that was Edwards practically swallowed me whole. Dull brown hair that hung limply down my back, with equally dull brown eyes. Dark, angry bruises under my eyes, indicating lack of sleep. Arms that could pass as twigs or tooth pick (your choice). Hollowed out cheeks. Ribs poking out of the skin. I looked like a starved dog on the streets.

I slammed his door open to see everything the way it was before he left. CDs on the shelf, stereo in the corner, glass wall all clean and sparkly, and black couch with a sexy god on it. He looked just as surprised as the others were to see me. He was on his back with an arm draped across his face; one leg was propped up on the couch while the other dangled off the couch.

I glared at him full force. "Where the hell do you get off at pulling something like this?" I whispered. I would not give him the satisfaction of me yelling. I felt all the pent up frustration and anger over the past six months along with the hurt and betrayal. He sat up, facing me. He looked heartbroken, but I didn't let that get to me. "Bella-"

"No. I want to know why you decided to up and leave. I want to know everything from the beginning to now." I cut him off. I didn't want to hear petty excuses or 'I'm sorry'. I wanted to hear the truth.

He sighed and motioned me to sit down. I did as he asked and sat on the floor where I was standing. He glared at me as if I were a child throwing a temper tantrum and making it difficult for him. Good. Now he'll know how I feel when he does crap like this.

"After your birthday party, I realized that keeping you in my world wasn't safe for you anymore. I wanted you to have a happy life as a human. That means going to college, getting married, and having kids. I didn't want you to be constantly in danger or risking your life for my selfish desire of having you by my side." He finished his testimony on why he left. It just fueled the fire that was my anger.

"That is a load of bull and you know it, Edward." I growled. He looked a bit surprised at what I said. "My life is always in danger. I fall, I trip, I break bones, and I attract the supernatural. I'm practically a danger magnet. It got worse when you left. And a normal human life Edward? Really? I was never normal. Besides I could go to college with you, I can marry you just fine, and we can adopt, like Esme does. I don't have to be human to do these things with you."

I took a deep breath. Now is the moment of truth. Something I have never told him will come out in the open. "I can't have kids anyway, Edward." He looked confused as I said this.

"What do you mean, you can't have kids?" he asked. "When I was born, I was basically infertile. The doctors said it would be a miracle if I could have a kid. I gave up all hope on having a kid. When I met you and found out you were a vampire and couldn't have kids, I felt relieved that you weren't expecting to have kids with me. It made me feel a little good about myself and that I had a chance with you. Don't get me wrong, I still have major self-esteem issues, even asks Jasper, but someday I hope I will feel good enough to be with you."

Edward looked sad at the news that I couldn't have children. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "You never asked and besides I thought you didn't care." I said. I glared even harder now. "Any more excuses or shall I tell you what your actions did to me?"

He looked scared to find out, but nodded any way. "After you left, I was a shell of myself. The doctors told me I was comatose for a month before I snapped out of it. I started doing things on autopilot, not really paying attention to my actions. My friends started to drift away and I became friends with Jacob Black. Jake was slowly starting to put my broken pieces together only to smash them even more when he refused to be my friend anymore."

I was remembering the events of the last six months. I wouldn't have wished those horrible months on anyone. "You wanted it to be like you never existed. Every night I dreamed about the day you left me and every night I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs for you not to go. Then four months after you left, I went to Port Angeles. I was with a few of my friends that invited me. I got separated from them and something hit me in the back of my head." I looked down at the cold carpeted floor, picking at the little knitted bumps that made up the carpet.

"I woke up in the hospital, not remembering how I got there. The doctor came in and told me that I had been raped while unconscious and that any small chances I had at children were gone. He said that someone found my body in an ally and brought me to the Seattle hospital. They were going to monitor me for a week and then I could go. They put me in a medicated sleep for most of that week because they were afraid that I was a danger to others and myself. I don't remember much of that week. They told me that I kept screaming in my sleep, that I would wake up and literally claw my skin off, and I assaulted a nurse when they tried to stop me." I kept my eyes trained to the floor, biting my lip not sure what else to tell him. Should I come out and say 'Hey, now I'm suicidal after all the messed up crap that happened to me after you left?' or should I leave, giving him time to think about everything.

I shook my head. Who was I kidding? No one would want someone as broken and plain as me. I felt the heat rise to my face as a burning started to gather behind my eyes. I kept the tears at bay as I gathered every bit of control that I had left in me to finish what I started. "I didn't come here to make you feel bad. I came here to tell you what your actions caused. I want you to think about what you truly want now. If you still want me." I whispered the last part.

I stood up with my back straight and my chin held high. Edward looked like he was going to say something, but I held my hand up to stop him. "Edward really think about this. If you want to continue our relationship, you have to know that I'll be even more insecure and hesitant to let you back in. How do I know that you won't run off again when you get scared about my safety? I can't trust you anymore and your promises are empty." Now the tears broke through.

"I don't want you to sit there and watch me get old knowing your family won't get old with me. I don't want to feel disappointed when you keep refusing to give me what I always wanted and making me think you're only putting 50% into this relationship." I felt as the tears trace my face down to my chin then fall off to make dark gold spots on the carpet. I felt terrified at my own words, thinking about him running off again and making me feel as if I did something wrong. I finally broke and lost the control I came in here with. My anguish over everything broke through, rolling off my body in waves, filling my dull brown eyes to the brink with the emotion. I heard a thud come from downstairs and cries started to spill out of Jasper's mouth.

I closed my eyes and tried to regain my control. I took deep breathes as the tears stop in their place and dried on my cheeks. I opened my eyes to stare into golden brown pools of anguish. "A relationship won't work if one of the people only put in 50% of the work. You have to be willing to give 100%. You have to know that I'll always be there for you and the decisions aren't yours alone to bear. You have to talk to me about the things you're afraid off and you have to be willing to give me what I truly want even if you don't like it." I stuffed my hands in my pockets and turned around.

I exited his room and slowly made my way downstairs. One down one more to go. I walked into the living room and saw the Cullen's still sitting there. Esme was dry sobbing into her hands as Carlisle sat beside her, rubbing her back trying to calm her down. Rosalie was looking away from me, seeing something far off into the forest that none of us knew. Emmett looked like someone killed his puppy and told him it was ok to keep it. Alice looked solemn as she rested her head on Jasper's shaking shoulders. Jasper looked like what I did on the inside. Wide eyes filled to the brink with tears and anguish, hopelessness, and every other depressive negative emotion there is. His shoulders shook as he took deep breathes to calm down the rush of my emotions.

I felt guilt rear its head and constrict my chest as I made my way over to Jasper. I knelt before him and looked into his honey golden eyes as I took his hands. "I'm sorry." I whispered. I opened and closed my mouth, trying to form the words I really wanted to say. "I-I know you think it's your fault about what happened at my birthday and I know you feel you are the weakest person in your family, but you are the strongest one out of all of them." He looked at me in disbelief, clearly questioning my sanity. I let a small smile show as I continued what I had to say.

"You have to feel emotions day after day and surly you can feel pretty strong ones too. Edward said my blood is his singer and my blood also calls to most vampires. You have to feel the bloodlust day after day on top of your own and I can imagine that getting hard. I don't blame you for anything, because I know emotions can get overwhelming. While Emmett has brute strength and Carlisle has amazing control, your strength to feel everything and deal with it makes me think that you're just as strong, if not stronger, than them." I squeezed his cold hands in mine as my smile grew. I felt pride swell in my chest to know this man and call him my brother. Jasper smiled down at me as he lightly squeezed back. "Thank you, little sister." He softly spoke to me.

I got up and let go of his hands as I headed towards the door. I paused in the doorway leading outside. I turned my head around so I could look at the vampires I call family. I let the first genuine smile stretch across my face as I said, "I love you, all of you." I headed out the door and down the steps; the anger that I walked in with has dissipated to be replaced by tired contentment.

I pulled out of their drive way to head home, waiting for my beloveds' answer and praying it will be the right one.

Yeah I know. Its pretty crappy, but I felt pretty crappy too. R&R please