Chapter One - Tegan POV

Okay guys, so this is my first Tegan and Sara fanfic and I don't know how well it turned out. Comments and stuff would be appreciated.

I silently stared at the half empty wine glass that sat on the table cloth so perfectly. It glared back at me with fierce eyes, and that's when I knew it had to be done. I needed to drink it. My finger tip gently grazes the edge of the glass and as I lunge to caress the poison holder, Lindsey walks in.

"Hello hunny, how's your day been?"

"Uh… yeah, good." I quickly move my hand away from the glass and stand up to hold my ground. The amount of times I told myself not to put her through it again seemed to all come back and I felt guilty. "Do you want to get take out, baby? I'm paying."

As she hangs her coat upon the metal hanger by the door, her feet swiftly end up intertwined with mine and I look up to see her deep brown eyes looking into me like the day we met.

"As long as it's Chinese, Tee!" she winks at me and pecks my lips with her own softly. As she moves away from me, my eyes start to water and the pain of the guilt stabs me fast. Effortlessly, I fall to the floor and feel paralysed and all I could hear was Lindsey screaming at me, asking questions and crying. And all I could do was lay there.

~Two Months Earlier~

Sara was giggling uncontrollably and the stupidity flooded within me. The show we were playing in the city of Dallas drew near as we were on the road with the crew. Last night in Austin was possibly one of the worst gigs I've ever played, and the very least I wanted was to recall it. The amount of slip ups and trips I made was embarrassing, I could tell that many people in the crowd were disappointed and that broke my heart. At least Sara found it funny though. The trip was short, so we had some time to kill before the show – Ted suggested we all go to a bar he's been to before and that seemed like the worst place to go, for me anyway.

Most people would think that 6 months sobriety would be great and that I was doing incredibly well, but it's been killing me. Every place we seem to visit has the beautiful drug I just can't get away from, and I don't think anyone realises that more than me.

"Tee, are you okay?" Sara finally showed some sort of concern for my feelings, which surprised me because she's usually so oblivious. "I didn't mean it, don't worry."

"Uh… Sure, okay." I had to forgive her if the tour was going to commence, or we'll have to call off some of the dates which I hate to do. My fans mean a lot to me and to disappoint them, like I did last night, literally hurts me to the point of cracking again. All I can think about is the alcohol though, the fiery whiskey, the smoky tequila, and the depth of a good wine – I've omitted them, carelessly.

"We're here Tegan, grab your bag." I apathetically did as I was told and Ted knocked my arm in attempt to incite me. Fighting the dangerous thoughts of my lust, I jumped out of the bus and gazed around the beautiful city of Dallas.