She just wanted to scream. Or hit something. Or both.
It was frustrating.
People looked at her with fear and hatred. They didn´t trust her, no matter how much she had worked to prove them she had changed. She wasn't the same anymore. She didn´t even remember how to be her old self, how to feel the same way she used to feel.
No, she wasn´t the same.
But when people looked at her, they only saw Cruella. She wasn´t that woman anymore, she was Ella now. She was good. She just wanted an opportunity.
A broken sob escaped from her lips. She was sprawled on the marble floor of her bathroom, her back against the toilet and a box of tissues at her right, she was sure she looked like a raccoon right now with all her makeup spread all over her face because of the tears, she crumbled yet another used tissue and throw it across the room into the basket, she missed, and another wave of tears came over while she watched the huge mountain of dirty paper balls all around the bathroom floor. She had missed every single one. She was a failure.
She was angry, so angry. Ever since she came out of therapy everything went to hell. First she didn´t have any friends, except for Alonzo, if he could be considered a friend at all and not only a lovesick loyal worker. She had to face the real world alone once she came out of that prison, and no...it wasn´t pretty at all now that she could see everything clearly. No craziness or evil plots to keep her mind busy. No huge amounts of self-confidence and insults to keep people away and herself above everyone else. Not anymore. She just wanted to be accepted, but it seemed quite an impossible task right now.
She let her head fall to her chest and sighed. Why was it so hard?
The door of the bathroom cracked open and Fluffy came in. The little fellow climbed on Cruella´s lap and licked her tears away making her laugh a little. Her old self would have killed the ugly thing on the spot, but now she was just happy to have some support.
"You do think mommy is good, don´t you Fluffy dearest?" She said grabbing the tiny animal between her hands and hovering it until they were face to face. Fluffy moved her tale and barked. Cruella smiled and stood up with her pet still in her hands.
"Well then, we shall not keep dwelling on this, we´ll just have to keep trying, I´m sure tomorrow we will have more luck" she said more to assure herself than anything else "You´ll see Fluffy, they´ll finally accept us"
And with a smile Cruella, or shall we say Ella, walked out of the bathroom towards her room. It was time for bed. And she would certainly need the rest if she wanted to be at her best for work tomorrow.