As I walked up the steps to the brick dorm building I was trying to determine if I was making a huge mistake or not. My name is Bella Swan and my life is about as perfect as a girl could ask for. I was constantly surrounded by the love of my best friends and family who had always been there for me. Well, until I decided to go away to school away from the majority of them. Today I had moved from my home town of Forks, Washington, a tiny little town that I was sure no one outside of those who actually lived there had heard of, to Seattle to attend University of Washington. It had always been a dream of mine to attend Udub, as students called it, and get accepted into their writing program. I had a great life back home in Forks, but this was something I really needed to do. I was willing to do it alone, but luckily I had the guidance of my best friend who was going to be my new roommate!
I have several close allies that I consider my best friends in the tiny town where I grew up. There is Rosalie Hale, my very first friend in Forks. She was the first person I met when I moved to town after my parent's divorce. I had previously lived with my mother, Renee, and her boyfriend but moved to be with my dad, Charlie when I was six. Rose and I met my first day at the local elementary school on the playground. Rose was obviously the most popular girl in class and I impressed her when I declined to kiss the class player behind the slides, slapping him instead and earning myself detention. While Charlie certainly wasn't pleased, at least I scored a new best friend out of the ordeal. We had been inseparable ever since. She was the complete opposite of me. She loved shopping, boys, and she was extremely popular. I guess you could say I was popular by default, just being friends with her but boys never looked at me when she was around. She was tall, blond, and modelesque while I was short, brunette, and quiet. She's my new roomie.
It was just Rose and I for a some time and while everyone wanted to be friends with us, we didn't really relate to many other kids our age and chose instead to hang out with each other and her older brother Riley. Riley and Rose were only fourteen months apart and if you looked at the two of them you would probably assume they were twins, they looked so close in age. He was tall and blond as well with bluest eyes you will ever see. I'd have probably had a huge crush on him if not for the fact that we grew up practically as brother and sister.
After years of the 'incredible threesome' as we called ourselves, we were joined by Emmett McCarty. He was introduced to us by Riley when he moved here from New York in my sixth grade year. Em instantly clicked with our group, which we considered rather hard to do. Rose and Em became super close, best friends if you will. But it wasn't until Rose and my sophomore year of high school that they finally admitted that they had more than friendly feelings for one another. That was about the time when I met my boyfriend, Jasper .
His family moved here from Texas and I was instantly smitten with him when I saw his gorgeous blond shaggy hair and dimples. How could I not be? He was everything a girl could dream of, the typical southern charmer, but not over the top about it, ya know? He was kind and sweet and different from other boys at my school. He got along well with everyone, but had the same sarcastic humor as we did and when he came around to hang out with us along with his new best friend Emmett, he was welcomed with open arms. We didn't get together immediately like some fairy tale. Anything but. I harbored feelings for him for months, Rose being the only one who knew of course. Finally though, Jasper decided that he saw something in me that no other boy or myself for that matter could see. He asked me to his junior prom and we had been a couple ever since. Our group was now the 'inseparable cinco'. Riley would occasionally bring a girl into the group when he got a new girlfriend, but not one ever lasted very long.
So, while I would be attending Udub in Seattle, Rose was going to join me as my roommate! Meanwhile, Riley and Em will continue at the local community college where they had attended for the past year and Jasper was going to join the other boys there. Emmett was studying mechanical engineering and his dream was to work for BMW someday. Riley was just going to the community college to get his associates and then planned on transferring to Udub as well. Jasper just didn't know what he wanted to do yet and decided to try out a few different classes rather than waste his parent's money on a high cost university. Some of you may be wondering how I plan on making a long distance relationship work between Jasper and myself. I honestly wasn't worried about the distance. I didn't think that it would make a difference in our relationship because I knew we were solid. We were in love, and I didn't think anything could take that away from us. You may call me naive, but I had never had my heart broken before and I didn't think it would happen. Jazz and I had been together for almost two years now, why would we break up after all that time together?
I made my way through the door to the dorm building and looked down at the paper in my hand trying to figure out which room I would be in. Rose bumped into me from behind and cursed at me under her breath.
"Move it Bells, c'mon we don't have all day!" she seethed.
"Calm down Rose. You know, you could help me instead of just following me and being a bitch," I hissed at her. She was always thinking about Rose, constantly complaining. Don't get me wrong, I loved the girl like a sister. While she could be incredibly self centered, she was also the most loyal friend one could ask for.
I looked behind her and saw the three goons goofing around by the car rather than helping us carry in my bags. Jasper was currently punching Em in the stomach and Emmett was loudly calling Jasper a pussy. Riley was standing by Emmett laughing his ass off. Those boys were never going to grow up, I swear.
Rose followed my gaze and rolled her eyes. "EMMETT GET YOUR ASS UP THESE STAIRS AND YOU BETTER BRING AT LEAST THREE BAGS WITH YOU!," she screamed at her boyfriend. Em immediately stopped his horseplay and followed his girlfriend's orders, grabbing four bags I noticed. Jasper bounded up the stairs right after him and wrapped an arm around my waist, kissing me softly on the cheek. I swooned, he was too cute for words.
A couple hours later I was all moved into the tiny little room that I would be sharing with Rose and my other, as yet unknown roommate. She still hadn't arrived, but I knew her name was Alice Cullen from the papers I had received from the college. I wondered where she was and what was keeping her. The incredible cinco decided to play a little game to keep us entertained while we awaited our new roommate. They were all sticking around until she showed up because of course they wanted to know if she was cool or not.
"Okay, let's play truth or dare," Emmett said, his voice sending vibrations throughout the room. I swear, he had the loudest voice on the planet.
I rolled my eyes. We played this constantly and at this point every single person chose only dares because there were no secrets among us. So usually it ended up with the boys doing gross and obnoxious dares to one another and me and Rose sitting there trying not to roll our eyes the entire time. I glanced at Rose and she looked about as enthused as I was.
"Jasper, truth or dare?" Emmett asked excitedly.
I looked at my boyfriend who was sitting next to me and saw that he was actually considering the question.
"Truth" he said. I looked at him in surprise.
"What are you possibly going to disclose that we don't know about you already Jazz?" Rose asked in her condecending voice. I hated when she talked to people with that voice, but right now I agreed with her.
He ignored her and looked at Emmett. "I'm sure Em can think of something to ask me, right Em?" he said.
"Definitely, we all know I love a challenge!" he said. He put his hand to his chin like he was actually deep in thought. I doubted highly that Emmett was even capable of deep thought.
"Okay, Jasper, here's one for the books. Have you and Bella sealed the deal yet?" he asked.
My face turned bright red. I guess there were certain things the boys didn't know about me yet. The truth was that Jasper and I had recently just 'sealed the deal' and I hadn't told anyone but Rose. I had sworn him not to share the details with the boys, but he clearly had. Emmett was teasing me and I wanted to die. Jasper was my first, and I was his first as well, and it meant a lot to me.
I looked at Emmett with fire in my eyes and saw his laughing expression falter slightly, then I turned my fury on Jasper. He was looking at me with his 'sorry face'. He wasn't going to be getting any more from me tonight or anytime soon that was for damn sure.
"Bells, I'm sorry. He swore he wouldn't say anything. Please forgive me?" he said, sounding genuinly sorry.
I fought internally with myself. On one hand, I was livid at him for sharing that personal fact with our friends, but on the other hand I had told Rose, was I going to be a hypocrite?
"It's okay," I acquiesced.
He looked at me in relief and we continued the game. Riley then dared Emmett to moon my new roommate when she first walked in the room and I wanted to kill him. I mean, what a great first impression, right?
We were in the middle of arguing about whether Emmett was allowed to actually do his dare or if I was going to get my way when the door opened so fast that it slammed against the wall behind it.
In bounded a tiny girl with black hair, shining blue eyes, and the biggest smile I had ever seen. She looked like a Disney character. She was followed by one of the most attractive guys I had ever seen. He looked like a freaking movie star, he was that good looking. Wow, so I guess beautiful girls really do always get the most beautiful boys. He was looking at Alice as if she might break as she took us all in.
"Oh my gosh! I am so excited to meet you all. I'm guessing you are Rosalie and you are Isabella?" she asked, turning to look at us in turn, causing us all to stare at her open mouthed.
I blushed slightly and didn't say anything because she had already turned to look directly at me and had a huge smile on her face. "I already kinda know you. I kinda stalked you on facebook," she said, no embarrassment showing on her face at all.
Emmett started laughing and everyone else soon followed. I hopped up and put my hand out to meet her but instead she leaped on me in a gigantic hug.
"Nice to meet you Alice, is this your boyfriend?" I asked, glancing at the boy behind her. He looked at me then, his stunning green eyes boring into me with an amused expression.
Alice started laughing and shaking her head dramatically. "Who, Edward. Oh Isabella, that is just too funny. This is my brother Edward," she said.
Yeah, good looks run in the Cullen family it seems.
"Oh, I get it. But please, call me Bella. The only person that calls me Isabella anymore is my grandmother," I said. I held my hand out to Edward to greet him and unlike his sister, he took my hand like a normal person.
"Well I guess I better introduce you to all these crazy people behind me. This is Emmett, the loud annoying one," I said. Emmett shot me a dirty look and made like he was going to go through with his dare from earlier but I guess my look told him that wouldn't be the best idea because he said his hello and sat quickly back down.
"And the gorgeous blond here would be Rosalie Hale, and next to her is her older brother Riley. And last but not least, my boyfriend Jasper Whitlock," I said, smiling at all of them in turn. They all said their greetings and then it was sort of an awkward silence for a few moments while Alice started organizing her bags on her bed. Edward and her came and went a few trips before they were through moving her stuff in finally.
"So, I think we are all going to head back now ladies, unless you need more help around here?"
Emmett said.
"No Em, we are all good. Thank you guys so much for all of your help," I said. "Damn I'm going to miss you all. I can't believe it will be three months before I see you all again."
"It's okay Bells, you can stalk us on facebook," Riley said, grinning at Alice who blushed slightly at his teasing. I pulled him in for a hug too and he followed his sister out of the room. Rose was walking Em out to say their goodbyes.
Before I turned to Em to say goodbye, I suddenly wasn't on the ground and immediately knew that he had grabbed me in a bear hug. "Em lemme down!" I insisted, giggling.
"But Bella boo I'm going to miss you too much to let you go," he said.
"Rose! Help!" I yelled.
"Okay, no need to call in the girlfriend on my ass, bye Bellsie," he said. "Bye Alice, bye Edward," he shouted over his shoulder. I saw them both hide smirks at his obnoxiousness.
Jasper and I followed them out into the hall to say the final goodbyes. When they were really gone,I turned to Jasper and he gave me a weak smile.
Now for the hard part. Saying goodbye to him. I had known that this was going to happen but it still wasn't easy. I turned to him and he was watching me, so I returned his a weak smile. He made his way to me and wrapped me in his arms, kissing me lightly on the cheek.
"Bells, you have no idea how much I am going to miss you. I don't think I am going to be able to wait three months to have you again," he whispered in my ear.
I blushed and pushed him away slightly. "I'm going to miss you too, I love you Jazz, I said quietly.
"Love you too Bells," he said, giving me one last hug and a small kiss before he followed the others out the door
I turned to go back into the dorm. I was alone now. Well, not really. I remembered suddenly that Alice and Edward were still standing in the room with me. I looked over at them and found Alice putting stuff down on her side of the room while Edward had clearly been watching me say my goodbyes. He gave me a sympathetic smile and I returned it...
I turned to go sit on my bed and mope a bit, but Alice clearly had other plans.
"Bella, would you like to go eat dinner with Edward and I?" she asked. "We can get to know each other better?"
"Sure," I said smiling. I really hoped we would get along as well as it seemed we would. She seemed like she got along with everyone pretty well though so I wasn't really worried.
We all decided on pizza and Edward pulled his car into the parking lot and we made our way into the quaint little local pizza joint that was right down the street from the University.
"So Bella, how long have you and Jasper been together?" Alice asked. I guess she planned on getting all the juicy stuff out of the way right away.
"Um, two years now. We started dating when I was a sophomore and he was a junior. What about you, are you with anyone?" I asked.
I took a sip of soda, not liking talking about myself. I glanced at Edward who was watching me, which caused me to blush. I was being rude, I should include him in the conversation. In fact, I don't even think I have heard him speak yet. "Edward, are you dating anyone?"
He looked like he was about to answer, but his sister cut him off. "Edward is dating Tanya, and let's just say I'm not her biggest fan. I'm glad she stayed back home in Alaska. Maybe you can find someone who appreciates you better," she said, looking at her brother. "Oh, but no, I'm not dating anyone at the moment. I wanted to start college off single, so much more fun that way!" she said, all of that in one big rush.
I stared at her in shock at the way she dissed her brother's ex-girlfriend right in front of him and for cutting him off. This girl was audacious.
"Bella, don't judge my sister too quickly," Edward said. It was like he read my mind or something. "Alice just speaks her mind and sometimes, like all the time, she offends people with her opinions," he said. He had a deeper voice than I imagined he would have.
Edward was grinning at Alice, and I again wondered how he wasn't angry at her for the way she spoke about Tanya. They were clearly incredibly close. Maybe this was a common topic between the two of them.
"Oh," I managed. "Well, you said you just moved here? Where from and where did you move?" I asked.
"We moved from Alaska down to this little town that we were born in when my dad got transferred to the hospital there. You've probably never heard of it," she said, waving her hand at me.
"Wait, don't tell me you are the kids of the new doctor in Forks?" I asked, not believing it. Suddenly I remembered Charlie mentioning his old friend Carlisle Cullen moving back to town and how he mentioned he had a couple kids around my age.
They were looking at me in shock as well, and I started laughing at how small our town and our worlds really were.
"What a small freaking world," I said.
"I can't believe this! We were only babies practically when we moved here. Oh, I guess I didn't mention this yet, Edward and I are twins. Fraternal, obviously," she said.
"Really? I never would have guessed," I said, glancing between the two of them. "Well, I guess you both are freakishly good looking." I blushed after saying this, especially when I met Edward's eye and he winked at me, teasing me.
"So, um, tell me about Tanya, Edward?" I asked. For some reason I couldn't explain I wanted to know more about this guy. I figured it was because I just couldn't get a read on him, and I considered myself pretty great at reading people.
He looked uncomfortable now, and I instantly regretted saying anything. Luckily for both of us, Alice cut in seemingly unaware of how her brother was feeling. "Yeah, she's a bitch. He's better off and he will see that soon. Too bad you have a boyfriend, you seem like just the kind of girl Edward should be dating!" she said, causing Edward to raise his eyebrows at me and of course me to reach a new level of embarrassment.
This girl was going to take some getting used to. "Yeah, too bad Bella," Edward's soft voice said as he looked at me from under his long lashes that were rimming his beautiful emerald eyes. Wow, what the hell was I doing? He is dazzling me as a joke and it clearly is working. Chill Bella.
I forced my blush to retreat and smirked at him, trying to pretend that he had no effect on me. Easier said than done. He shouldn't be having an effect of me though, I reminded myself.
Alice, acting oblivious to our teasing, changed the subject because we were clearly boring her. "So, tell me more about Rosalie. She's freaking gorgeous, as are you and not to mention that hottie you call your boyfriend. Forks clearly breeds good looking people," she said, laughing at herself. I giggled at her, not knowing if she was serious or not.
"Well, you will quickly learn that Rose doesn't take shit from anyone. She's the most loyal friend you will ever have, but she doesn't have many girlfriends. We don't tend to get along with other girls, her and I. No offense, because it totally seems like we are all going to be great friends, I'm just speaking from experience. But you seriously seem like you are going to fit right in with us," I said, smiling genuinly at her. "Oh, um, and you too Edward. I assume you are going here as well?" I asked.
He nodded and looked like he may answer, but Alice once again cut him off. "Oh Bella, I just know that we will all get along. There isn't really many people that I don't get along with honestly. Oh, and Edward will be around too of course, we are practically best friends," she exclaimed excitedly.
Just then my cell beeped and I looked at it to see it was Rose. I had been wondering why it had taken her so long to respond to my text that I was going to dinner with the Cullen's.
Haha, sorry B, Em and I got a little caught up. I'm so glad he drove seperately from the others...R
I wrinkled my nose in disgust before giggling at her. Alice and Edward looked at me in amusement, so I showed them the text. Rose wasn't the type to care about hiding her sex life from others...
Ew Rose, TMI. come meet us, we havn't even ordered yet. B
That's when I realized that we still hadn't been served. "By the way, what is going on with the service around here?" I wondered aloud. We had been there for at least twenty minutes...
"Seriously, I didn't want to be the one to say something, I thought maybe I was just really hungry or something and imagined time was going slower than it really was," Edward said, sarcasm seeping through his words. I laughed out loud at his tone and Alice stared at the two of us curiously.
"A fan of sarcasm Bella? Hmm, you and Edward should get along excellently then," she said, sounding happy at this fact. "He is the most sarcastic asshole you'll ever meet."
I looked at Edward and he raised his eyebrows and gave Alice a look like he had no idea what she was saying. I was trying so hard to figure him out that I didn't even notice Rose until she sat on my lap.
"Uh, hi Rose. That was fast. Wow, your hair looks amazing. Couldn't you have at least tried to make it look like you didn't have crazy hot sex with Emmett before you got here?" I deadpanned.
Edward laughed and Alice snorted afterwards. Not sure if the snort was in response to what I said or the fact that Edward and I clearly had the same sense of humor/sarcasm.
"So, catch me up on whatever you guys were talking about," Rose said, ignoring me and trying on purpose to be a bitch.
Alice jumped right into that trap and started blabbing on about every little thing that had been said so far. Rose gave me a smartass look and then turned to listen to Alice intently. I drifted into thoughts about Jasper before I was interrupted rudely by the skanky waitress finally showing up to our table, thirty minutes later to boot.
"Hi guys, my name's Lauren and I'll be your server tonight. So sorry about the long wait, it's been nuts here tonight," she said, glancing around the table unsincerley until her eyes swept over Edward, at which point she threw a huge smile on her face and actually seemed sorry she hadn't come over sooner.
"Yeah, I mean, it is really busy here, totally not your fault, Lauren was it?" Edward said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. At least I think it was. He made a point to look around the restaurant, which by the way was nearly empty, before looking back at her. I think she actually understood he was being mean to her because she glanced around nervously and blushed slightly before getting our order and quickly leaving.
"You don't have to be such an ass Edward, she was clearly into you," Alice said before breaking into giggles. So Alice had a cool sense of humor as well, awesome! I really could see us all becoming great friends. We spent the next two hours eating somewhat delicious pizza and getting to know each other.
Turns out Edward is majoring in psychology. He wants to be a children's psychologist, which for some reason I find fascinating. Why would anyone want to understand the deep crevices of a child's mind rather than delve into adult's issues? I'd have to ask him sometime. We also discovered that his dorm was right next door to ours, which was convenient. His roommates were two guys named Tyler and Mike. Alice is majoring in fashion merchandising. She apparently has known her passion for fassion since she was only seven years old. I laughed when she said that, but Edward assured us that she used to dress him up like he was her own personal ken doll. Rose and I demanded pictures at which point Edward looked like he regretted telling us anything at all.
After a while, we decided to call it a night and head back to our dorms. Alice, Rose and I stayed up for a little while longer, getting to know each other a bit better.
And that is how Rose and I became best friends with my roommate Alice Cullen. We spent the next three months with Alice, getting to know each other and having the time of our lives. While Rose and I and not to mention Alice, all missed our friends and families like crazy, we were enjoying the college experience together. Edward hung out frequently, but not nearly as often as the three of us girls.
I talked to my "brothers" regularly on the phone, as did Alice because she had started stalking all of my friends on facebook and soon enough she was inducted into the incredible, now six, group. Jasper and I spoke about twice a week, not as often as I would have liked becuase he was so busy with his homework, as was I with my own schoolwork.
One afternoon right before Alice and I were getting ready to head back to Forks for Thanksgiving break, I was lying in my dorm room with Alice and we were talking to Emmett on speaker phone.
"Bells, I can't wait to see you this weekend!" he exclaimed over the phone.
"I know, it's going to be a blast. have you seen Jasper around much? I haven't actually talked to him at all this week yet. I miss him so much," I said, visibly pouting.
"Bella, turn that frown upside down," Alice said, causing them both to erupt into laughter. Emmett can be such a woman sometimes.
"Yeah, he's been hanging around. He's super busy Bells, it's not like you guys are trying to not speak."
I agreed with him and we got off the phone, but not before promising that Rose would call him later when she got back from class.
Alice and I hung up and headed to dinner at the dining hall.
"So your brother's cool with hanging around my friends when we go home?" I asked.
"Yeah, apparently after we all met here, he friend-ed Riley, Jasper and Emmett on facebook and they've been speaking?," Alice said.
"Oh, that's pretty cool. What is it with you and your brother and facebook? Guess we are gonna have to expand to become 'the incredible seven' now. This is getting so out of control," I said, jokingly.
"Haha,shut up, facebook rocks. Bella, you are so amazing, what did I ever do without you in my life?" she asked, jumping on me and hugging me. For someone who was so tiny, I swear she was strong. And not to mention surprisingly loud. I looked around sort of embarrassed as people stared at us in the quad. She sure knew how to make a scene.
"Oh Bella, does it really matter what those people think? I am going to express my love to you any way I choose," she said.
I just smirked at her and we went into the dining hall. We enjoyed our dinner, joining some friends of ours, Angela, Ben, Mike, Tyler, Edward and Jessica. They were really the only ones we hung out with here at school besides Rose of course, and to be honest, we didn't even really hang out with them that much. The three of us much preferred to be holed up in our room just us than out making more friends, with the exception of Edward sometimes. While Alice was a social butterfly, she didn't emotionally connect with people easily, just like us. So while she made lots of acquaintances for us, we didn't really have any true friendships here besides one another.
The week flew by and before I knew it, Friday evening had arrived and my friends were waiting at the Hale's house for Alice, Rose, Edward and I to arrive. I flew outside and before I made it even halfway across the lot, I was caught in the arms of a beautiful blond boy who was currently kissing my neck tenderly and whispering how much he missed me in my ear. The feeling of being back in his arms made me feel more content than I had all week. I couldn't believe how much I had missed him. I broke myself away from him to greet my other friends.
Riley swallowed me in a hug, whispering to tell me how great I looked and that college was having a good effect on me, he could tell. Em wrapped me in a bear hug that left me breathless. After I broke my hug with Em, I looked up and noticed the new person standing off to the side next to Edward. He grinned this crooked grin at me and I smirked, not being able to hold it back as I held my hand up in greeting. That's when my gaze fell upon the strawberry blond that was currently wrapped up in his arms. How fitting, I thought. They were pretty much perfect together, both absolutely beautiful. Edward and his girlfriend made their way over to me and he held out his hand to me in greeting.
"Nice to see you again Bella," he said. Alice and Edward had followed Rose and I in my truck back home.
"Haha, yeah, it's been such a long time since we've seen each other," I said, laughing slightly. He just smirked at me again.
I turned to Tanya in order to greet her when I saw that she was staring me down like I was dirt beneath her very expensive looking shoes. Okayyyy then. If she was going to be a bitch right from the start, I wasn't going to pretend to be nice to her.
Jasper wrapped his arm around me at that moment, breaking our stare down. I noticed that Tanya immediately dropped the bitch stare and appreciatively took in my boyfriend's appearance. Ooooh, I was about to claw this girl's eyes out. Luckily for Tanya, Jasper cut in and introduced himself as my boyfriend, and it was all good.
We all decided to head out to eat and catch up before we did anything else.
At dinner, it was clear that Edward and Tanya had a really great physical relationship. They hung all over each other and it was almost uncomfortable to look at. Jazz and I made small talk and he touched my leg under the table, but we certainly weren't trying to grope each other like Tanya appeared to be doing to Edward under the table at their end. I couldn't believe that he wasn't stopping her. I tried to look away, but found it hard to do so.
The weekend flew by and was one of the best I could remember having. I wasn't so sure Alice was right anymore when she had suggested that Edward and I were going to be great friends. While he was nice to me and I liked his sarcasm, I just couldn't get past the fact that he could love someone like Tanya. To me, he seemed shallow because I just didn't see how he could possibly like Tanya for more than her outward appearance. She was seriously one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met, but she had proved herself worthy of Alice's evil portrayal. She was a big flirt, which I could tell bothered Edward but he never seemed to stand up for himself with her. Maybe they fought about it behind closed doors, who knows? She was also extremely shallow and just plain not the nicest girl around. She obviously thought that everyone was beneath her.
Jazz and I got to spend a romantic night together Saturday evening when everyone else was out to dinner together. We went to this little Italian place we always went to before I moved away, and it was very nostalgic. Just what I needed.
When it came time to say goodbye to everyone, it was with tears in my eyes that I told them I would see them for Christmas break in a month. It was only a month, I could survive that right?
That month flew by with homework and fun times with Al, and soon enough we were on the way home in Alice's awesome Porsche. Rose and Edward had decided to drive his Volvo back and bond over their shared interest in fancy car engines. I was texting everyone, letting them know we were on our way home when Edward responded, sounding pretty upset. Tanya had broken up with him over the phone on their way home. Apparently the breakup was completely unexpected. Alice called him immediately after I relayed the news to her and they spent the majority of the trip talking.
By the time that Alice got off the phone with her brother, we were pulling into her driveway. I had decided that I was going to spend the night at the Cullen's because we were arriving late and had plans to go out together anyways. I was practically jumping in my seat in anticipation of seeing everyone, but I put that on the back burner for a moment so I could ask Alice how Edward was doing.
While I still wasn't sure I liked him but I know that he didn't deserve to be dumped by the evil ice queen, no matter how much I thought he may be better off.
"Is Edward okay, Alice?" I asked.
She turned to me with tears in her eyes. "No, he's not ok at all. She was his first love, and I know how much we disliked her but Edward must have seen something in her. And she broke his heart, that whore. She said she met someone else but wouldn't tell Edward who it was. He has his suspicions but he wouldn't tell me. I plan on grilling him later and I'll let you know," she said like I had asked for intimate details.
"Oh, that's OK. I mean I'm sure Edward doesn't want some girl he barely knows to hear all about this stuff. It's personal," I said, grabbing my bag from the backseat and getting out of the car.
"I just can't believe that after Edward treated her so well and put up with her for all this time that she would just leave him for another guy," she continued to rant.
I kept silent as we made our way inside. We were greeted at the front door by Alice's mother Esme. I had met her when she came to visit Alice and we had all gotten along really well. She was like the mother I haven't had around for the past twelve years. She pulled me into a hug immediately after releasing Alice from her grasp.
"Oh Bella, you look beautiful," she said.
"I highly doubt that, I've been in the car for the past hour," I mumbled.
"Well Alice can show you to her room, I'm afraid you will have to share with her tonight dear," she said.
She then turned to Rose and hugged her, whispering similar sentiments in her ear. I gave Rose a concerned look, she had been in the car with Edward when it had all gone down. She smiled a weak smile at me in response. I noticed Edward looking quite numb as he finally got out of the car. He didn't look at anyone, not even his mom, as he pushed past her and went inside. I said goodbye to Rose, who wanted to go see Em right away of course, telling her we would meet up later.
"C'mon Bella, you can shower first because I want to go speak with Edward," Alice said, pulling me up the stairs after her.
She dumped her bag on her bed and grabbed me a towel and pushed me into the bathroom. Dang, she must be really eager to comfort her brother. I knew they were very close and her heart was broken just by seeing Edward upset. I wondered selfishly if this was going to put a damper on our plans tonight.
I stripped down and jumped in the shower, deciding that I could wait until after I was done to call Jasper and my dad. I was sort of surprised that Jazz hadn't called me or responded to my text that we were almost there but I didn't dwell on it, figuring he was busy.
After my shower, I toweled off and grabbed my cell from my bag. I saw a missed call but it was from my dad, not Jasper. Hmm, what the heck is he doing that is so important that he can't call his girlfriend to come and see her. Does he not miss me as much as I miss him? If I'm being honest with myself, I have to admit that I've been kind of insecure in our relationship for the past couple weeks. After our great weekend a month ago, he and I had just not had the same kind of communication that we did normally. I would get his voice mail a lot more, and rather than calling me back he would text me and say he was busy with work or that he was with a friend. I knew from Riley that he was hanging out with Em and him, so it didn't really bother me.
I figured I was just being paranoid. It's only natural that I would freak out a little about the long distance relationship that I was in, right? I had never been in a long distance relationship before so I wasn't sure what was sane to freak out about and what I was being a total lunatic about. I've discussed it with Rose and she says it's normal for me to be freaking out a little but assured me Jasper loved me.
When we did talk on the phone, it did seem like he was a bit more distant than normal. I was hoping that it was just the distance taking it's toll on us and that we could reconnect on this trip.
I dialed my dad first since he had left me a message wondering where I was but ended up getting his voice mail. I guess we are going to play phone tag, I thought.
"Hey dad, I just got to Ally's and showered. I'm going out with my friends tonight and will be home tomorrow morning. Can't wait to see you!" I said before hanging up and dialing Jazz.
He answered on the first ring, shocking me.
"Bells! I was just about to call you. So you at Alice's?" he asked.
I smiled to myself that he seemed enthusiastic. See Bella you are just a paranoid crazy girlfriend, I thought to myself. "Yep, we should be ready in about an hour. Come by?" I asked.
"Actually, I'm already out with some people. I was hoping to just meet up with you guys?" he said.
"Oh," I said, my heart sinking. I wanted him to want to see me so badly that he would rush straight over here. "Um, yeah. That's fine I guess. Who are you out with?" I asked.
"Oh, just some friends, some people you don't know from work," he said. He seemed surprised that I had asked, which I found weird.
I furrowed my brow and was about to ask him more about who he was with when he cut me off.
"Bells, it's pretty loud in here and they are calling me back over. Shoot me a text when you're ready okay?" he said.
I was about to respond but instead heard the dial tone. I put my phone on the bed and sat down, my heart sinking. I couldn't describe the feeling that I was currently experiencing but it wasn't good. I don't know how long I sat staring at the wall lost in thought before Alice spoke to me.
"Earth to Bella. Are you there?" she asked. I jumped when I realized she was right in front of me and wondered briefly how long she had been there.
"Oh, yeah sorry. I just got off the phone with Jasper and it was just weird. He wouldn't come over here, instead he wants to meet up with us because he's already out with people. I just thought he would want to come straight here to see me," I said, trailing off.
Alice was looking at me with a weird expression on her face but I was too busy thinking about Jasper to question it. I forced myself to stop thinking about myself so much and turned to ask Alice about Edward.
"So, what happened in there?" I asked.
She looked down at her lap with a sad look on her face. "Um, well Edward wouldn't tell me anything more but I think I cheered him up a bit. Maybe you could go talk to him a bit more while I'm showering? He's pretty upset still, but maybe you could convince him to go out with us tonight?" she asked, looking at me hopefully.
"Alice, I really don't think he wants to talk to me. He barely knows me and why would you think I would be any kind of influence in getting him to go out with us?" I wondered.
"Bella, you are my best friend, not some stranger. And I happen to know that Edward would love to talk to you, he told me that he likes you a lot, so there. No more excuses, go," she said.
I shuffled towards the door, but turned back when I realized that I didn't know which room was Edward's.
"Alice, which room is his," I asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
"Oh sorry, it's the last one on the left. Just knock, he'll let you in," she replied.
I made my way down the hall, feeling nervous. I didn't like talking with people I didn't know well. I was an awkward person and just found it hard to put myself in these situations. And I was thoroughly convinced that Edward did not want to speak to me. Alice was crazy...
I nervously knocked on the door, hoping that he just wouldn't answer. To my dismay, I heard feet coming towards the door and jumped slightly when Edward poked his head out.
His hair was even more disheveled than I remembered it being before we left, which meant he had been running his hands nervously through it, and his eyes were even brighter green because they were surrounded with red. Clearly the boy had been crying.
"Oh, hey Bella. How's it going?" he asked me in his velvety voice. My stomach flipped with nerves. How in the hell did Alice expect me to cheer up her heartbroken brother with whom I had barely shared even a moment of alone time with?
"Hey Edward. Alice thought maybe you'd like some company?" I asked, twisting my hands
"Yeah, c'mon in".
I dropped eye contact and allowed him to usher me into the room. After getting past the door, I stood there awkwardly, waiting for instruction from him on where to sit. Or maybe I should stay standing?
He just stared at me for a moment with a weird look and then gestured towards his bed. I blushed and went to sit on his bed. He pulled his computer chair out from under the desk and moved it so that he was sitting across from me. We just sort of stared at each other for a moment before I couldn't take it anymore.
"So, um, I'm really sorry to hear about you and Tanya. I know you really liked her and everything," I said, blushing again. I truely didn't know what to say to this boy.
His face turned sour and he shook his head. "I don't need your sympathy Bella. Thanks though," he said.
I felt like he had slapped me. I was just trying to be nice, I didn't even want to be in here.
"Bella, I'm not trying to be mean okay? I'm just in a horrible, rotten, bitter mood. Okay, well you know I'm sure from Alice that I think Tanya has been cheating on me, right?" he asked.
"Yeah, she mentioned that," I said, wondering why on earth he was choosing to open up to me about this.
"Do you ever have problems with the distance in your relationship with Jasper?" he asked, looking at me intensely.
"Um, well I wish I could say no but it seems lately that things haven't been quite the same. I'm hoping to reconnect over break though," I said. Wow, I had barely admitted it to myself and here I was saying it to someone who I barely know.
"I know how that feels, trust me," he said. "It's like, how do you know if you are being paranoid or if there really are problems staring you blatantly in your face all along like there were in my case," he said.
"It's like you're speaking my thoughts. It's hard to know sometimes. I guess all you can do is hope that it will work out if it's meant to, right?" I asked.
I found myself tapping his hand to comfort him and when I looked up he was looking at me and we had a sort of understanding from that gaze. We were two similar souls, I could feel a weird tie to him like we were meant to be friends. I think he felt it too. As I was considering voicing my thoughts on the matter, Alice came barging in the room and yelled at us to get ready because we were going out.
"There is no way I'm going out Alice. I'll see you guys later. Thanks for the talk Bella. It's nice to see you again," he said, giving me a small smile.
I smiled back and squeezed his hand before getting up and following Alice into her bedroom.
"So what are you going to wear Bells?" she asked, turning on me.
I rolled my eyes and told her to just do her devil work and dress me already. Even if I argued she wouldn't have let me out of the house until I was up to her standards.
An hour later, I was dressed in dark skinny jeans and a cute flowy navy top that looked good against my pale skin somehow. I was getting more and more nervous about Jasper. I really hoped once I saw him that everything would just be fine like it used to be. That all of the distance between us was made up in my own paranoid mind like Edward had said. We got in Alice's car and headed to the little pool hall/bar that our friends were at.
I'd like to say that the night went well and Jazz and I reverted back to our high school selves and were the lovey dovey couple we once were. Instead, I was greeted by a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before he took off to continue his pool game with Emmett and Riley. Rose was sitting on the sidelines nursing a beer and watching the boys.
You may be wondering how Rose could be drinking in a bar when she was merely nineteen like myself. We actually knew the owner of the pool hall/bar. His name was Jake and he was an old family friend of mine and as long as we didn't get out of hand, he let it slide when we wanted a beer or two. He was 25 and had always looked out for me like I was the little sister he never had.
Alice and I made our way over to Rose and spent the remainder of the evening being generally ignored by the boys. To say I was crushed would be an understatement. Alice squeezed my hand when she noticed how upset I was getting. I swear I tried to have fun, but it was just hard when it felt like my relationship was failing. What did I have to do to make Jasper act like he wanted me like he used to? We had only slept together that one time, and I had only gone through with it because I genuinely believed that we were good together and meant a lot to each other. I fully believed that he deeply cared about me at that point in time and I still believe that. It just seems like now we are drifting apart, the distance was taking it's toll on us, or we were just turning into different people than we had been in high school. It amazed me how three months could change so much in our relationship.
I decided to call it a night and Alice agreed to go with me. Rose had joined the game so she was staying behind with Em. Jazz seemed upset that I was leaving already, but I didn't really care. Maybe if he had shown a little more attention to me I would believe he actually was upset that I was leaving.
"Bye Bells," he said, pulling me into a hug. It was awkward at best, and I pulled away sooner than I usually would have. "I'll call you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, that's fine. Oh, I forgot I have plans tomorrow so how about the next day?" I said. Alice and I were having a girls day with Rose tomorrow and then coming back for a sleepover at her house afterward.
"Oh, well yeah. I'll see you then?" he said before turning back and joining the boys. I noticed that Riley was looking at Alice like he wanted to say something so I walked slyly over to him on the pretense of saying goodbye to Rose who was standing next to him.
"You have a crush on my girl Ry? You should ask her out," I whispered in his ear as I gave him a quick hug.
He blushed and didn't say anything to me but I saw him look over my shoulder at Alice again. "You dork," I said, laughing at him and pinching his arm.
"Bye Bella, bye Alice," he managed to get out before turning bright red again. Riley wasn't the best with girls, probably why none of them ever stuck around for long.
"Bye bitches, see you tomorrow," Rose called out as she stopped Emmett from trying to smack her ass as she bent over the pool table to make a shot. They were the funniest couple I knew.
"Aw, c'mon babe. Don't be shy," he said loudly in response to Rose denying him. "Bye ladies," he called out after getting another smack from Rose.
Alice practically jumped up and down once we were out the doors as she bounced to her car. "Bella, do you think Riley may be interested in me? We were kinda flirting a little tonight and damn he is cute," she finished.
I just smiled at her and didn't respond. She continued to ramble on about Riley but I was thinking about Jazz and what I could do to change this weirdness between us.
"Do you think I should break up with Jasper," I blurted out randomly. Alice had been in the middle of a conversation basically with herself since I hadn't responded in several minutes but she stopped talking and looked at me with her mouth wide open.
"Bella, are you serious? I thought you really wanted to make this work between you two?" she asked. "I mean, I know tonight wasn't what you wanted it to be but maybe it was because all of your friends were around. I think you guys need some time alone to reconnect."
"Yeah, I know you are right, but I hate this being in limbo crap. It's so weird between us and I can't stand it. There's no way I'd actually dump him and I would be devastated if he dumped me, I don't even know why I asked that."
"Things will get better Bella. If it's meant to be, things will work out for the best," she said, patting my hand in a similar way to how I had comforted Edward earlier that night.
When we got home, Alice was tired and promptly passed out but I was kind of wired from my incessant thoughts and spent a little time reading in her room before I got thirsty and decided to get a drink of water.
As I was walking past the Cullen's living room I swear I saw someone sitting on the couch in the dark and thought I was imagining it but double checked and saw Edward just staring off into space in front of the blank television.
"Edward? What are you doing down here like this?" I asked.
He blinked a couple times and then glanced up at me. "Bella?"
"Yeah, are you okay? You were just sitting there totally spaced out a couple seconds ago," I said.
"Um, yeah I'm fine. Just thinking, ya know?" he said. He continued to stare at me so I sat down quietly next to him.
"Yeah, I know. I've been just thinking for hours up there. Can't sleep at all."
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, shocking me. It was kind of interesting to me how we seemed to just be able to talk to each other like we had known each other all of our lives when in reality we were virtually strangers.
"Yeah, actually I do," I said.
And so started the first of many future long late night talks I would carry on with Edward Cullen. We sat there for hours and I ended up sharing my whole story with him while he shared his story with me and we compared notes.
My remaining time in Forks was spent mostly with family, but I did get that date night with Jazz. We talked and ate amicably, but there just wasn't that same camaraderie that had always been present between us. He was distant to me, not really sharing much about his life apart from me while I shared everything I could possibly think with him. I tried to pry information from him, but all I got was that he was busy working with his father and hanging out with Em and Ry and some new friends he had made through his work. We hugged and kissed at the end of the night and went our separate ways.
When I went back to school a couple days later it seemed like I was saying goodbye for real this time. I had an eminent feeling that my life was changing in ways I wasn't quite ready for.
Edward and I called each other often, using each other as a sort of venting of our frustrations over our difficult love lives. Over the weeks, Edward talked less and less about Tanya and it turned into eventually just me calling him upset about Jasper not calling like he promised, or me thinking about him and getting upset. I was happy that Edward was happier and was moving on from Tanya though because I really wanted him to be happy. He was always kind and funny and made me feel better. I loved how close we had become in such a short amount of time, but no one else knew about our talks. It was kind of an unspoken truce that these were private conversations meant to be kept between the two of us alone. We didn't really hang out in person unless it was with the group either.
It was hard keeping that secret from Alice and Rose because they were ALWAYS around me. Alice would often come home from class and find me on the phone with her brother and ask who I was talking to and I would have to lie and say it was Rosalie or my mom. I hated lying to her and I'm pretty sure she knew I was keeping something from her, but it didn't feel right telling her quite yet.
Jazz and I talked every couple days, and while we still weren't back to how we used to be I felt like I was dealing with the distance thing alright and he still told me he loved me so I thought everything was going to be okay between us.
Christmas break passed in a blur. I spent the holiday in Forks with Charlie and Jasper came over. Everything was actually really great and almost seemed back to normal. New years eve was spent with Jasper and my friends at the Hale's place where Rose threw a small get together for our group. We ate, talked and caught up with everything everyone had been up to. Edward and I spoke briefly but it was only as if we were acquantences, not two close friends that we seemed to be in reality behind closed doors. With Alice watching me like a hawk, I kept our conversations short and moved on quickly to say hello to someone else. Edward and I hadn't had the conversation about keeping our friendship secret, and I really didn't know why we did but if he felt like me it was simply easier than having to explain how easily we understood each other and the weird bond we seemed to share. I didn't want everyone to think it was something it wasn't, because even to me it seemed that maybe we were closer than we should be sometimes. I didn't want it to get back to Jazz and have him freak.
I went back to Seattle and spent my days doing homework, hanging out with Alice and Rose, or talking on the phone to Edward. I had finally spoken to Alice and told her that Edward and I had been talking a little bit. At first she was shocked, but when I explained that it all started because we had bonded over having long distance relationship issues she understood. I downplayed quite a bit how much we actually spoke, but she really didn't pry for more information like I had assumed she would. She was always up in my business but I guess she trusted Edward enough not to have to know every detail about our friendship.
Time went by quickly, and a week before Alice and I were going to head back to Forks for summer break, Jasper showed up at my dorm room door unexpectedly.
I was just sitting in my bed supposedly working on homework but really playing on facebook when he knocked at the door. Alice jumped up and answered and let out a little squeal when she saw who it was. Rose joined her before I could and turned to me with a huge smile on her face, knowing how excited I would be.
"Jazz! What are you doing here? This is unexpected," she said.
I practically flew to the door and when I saw him he smiled at me and gave me a weak hug. "What a nice surprise," I said, moving so he could come in.
"Hey Bells, actually I was hoping me and you could go get some lunch or something?" he asked. I had a weird feeling in my stomach but I chose to ignore it. It seemed like something was wrong with him but I couldn't be sure. We had spent so much time apart lately that I was almost forgetting all the little details I used to have burned in my memory. Like how he averted eye contact when he was keeping something from me, pretty much like he was doing right now.
"Oh, sure. Let me grab my coat and we can go." I smiled at Alice and Rose as we left and she gave me a hopeful smile.
I followed Jasper out to his car and he didn't say anything which I found odd. "So, what brings you here? I'm coming home in a week you know, and I think it's for good this time. You know how I've been saying that I want to just go to the community college with all you guys? I think I seriously want to do that and then come back up here to finish off my last two years" I said, hoping he would be as excited as I was about the prospect of us being together for the next school year and not apart any longer.
He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes and I started to get nervous. "Well, I wanted to talk to you about that Bells," he said.
My stomach dropped. I opened the car door and joined him in the car and he put the keys in the ignition. He was just about to put the car in reverse but I put my hand over his and stopped him.
He looked up at me and I knew something was up. Was he breaking up with me?
"Don't even bother going to a restaurant. You can talk about whatever you want to say right here," I managed to say, though my voice was a bit shaky I noticed.
"Bella, I don't know how to say this.I just got accepted into this prestigious internship in Washington D.C. for the History museum know my dad's friend is really good friends with the museum's Curator, and he got me on there. I think it will really help my career. I know we were supposed to have the whole summer together, but I really can't pass this up. It sucks that we won't be together again all summer, but I hope you can understand what this means to me," he said.
He looked at me, his icy blue eyes burning into mine and I knew he was speaking the truth. He had been speaking to me about how much he was enjoying the couple of history classes he had been taking at school.
I felt numb and the tears were threatening to come down in massive amounts. I wouldn't let him see me cry, I promised myself. "Jazz, I'm so happy for you!" I said, even though I felt like I wanted to throw up. "So when do you leave? At least we will have a little bit together right?" I asked.
"Um, actually, I leave next week. Monday, the day you are leaving here. I'll probably be gone by the time you guys get back. That's mostly why I came up here. To say goodbye," he said, looking down at his lap like he was scared of my reaction.
I blinked back more tears but refused to be selfish with this great opportunity he was receiving. I leaned over and hugged him long and hard, and he hugged me back. "C'mon, lets go eat. I'll buy you dinner to celebrate," I whispered softly.
"Um, that's another thing. Today was the only day I could get up here, but I have to go back already. My dad just called and said his friend is coming in town just to meet me and I definitely can't miss. The Curator from the museum is going to be there and everything. I'm kind of excited to get to meet him, you know?" he said. He sounded excited and I wondered how he didn't feel sad at not even getting to really have a proper goodbye with his girlfriend before he didn't see her again for the entire summer. Especially after we had just spent nearly five months apart. Do NOT be selfish Bella. His career means a lot to him. But so do you, so get over it.
"Oh, okay. Well I love you, I guess I will see you at the end of summer?" I asked, not really believing it yet. Was this really happening?
"Yeah, second week of August is when I get home. I'm sorry we have to do it like this Bells, are you upset?"
"Yeah, I mean, It hasn't really sunk in yet, and it really sucks you can't even stay here tonight but I really am happy for you," I managed. I could feel tears threatening to pour out.
He leaned in for another long hug, but I broke it up sooner than I would have usually because I just really needed to get away from him and think about all of this and mope for a while. "Bye Jas, I love you. Call me every time you get the chance?"
"Of course Bells, love you. Miss you already," he said softly, kissing my forehead.
I pushed my way out of the car and walked quickly away in the opposite direction of my dorm. I couldn't face Alice right now. I didn't want to see anyone like this. I felt so vulnerable and just needed to be alone. I walked until I realized I had made it all the way to the far end of campus from my dorm building and sunk into a bench. It was raining outside, but I could barely feel the drops as they hit my head. All I felt was numbness and a stone where my heart should be.
Before I even knew that I was doing it, I found myself reaching in my purse and calling Edward.