What I Want!
AN: My first story has hit a bit of a stall but this one is much more fully formed so let's hope it works out better.
Disclaimer: I own neither characters nor their lives, they own me.
Chapter 1:
'Excuse me Miss, Can I get you a glass of champagne?' The stewardess asked jolting me out of my day dreams.
'… Yes ...please that would be lovely.' Taking the glass form the tray I thought about the last time I drank something other than juice or coffee. Alcohol wasn't good for business it muddled the head and at parties or work functions that was the last thing you want, A glass of wine at the end of the day was one thing but drinking for recreation led down a dangerous path, but what the hell after all I was on my honeymoon without a groom.
I can hear the shouts of 'what the hell?' and 'What do you mean your not getting married?' even now, when I was on a plane soaring over the Atlantic Ocean on my way to Barcelona on a honeymoon that I didn't even want to go on. Barcelona was Jake's idea, he was the one who wanted the luxury experience, I wanted to see the Gaudi houses, 'La Sagrada Famillia', and the basilicas at Montserrat all Jake wanted to do was lie about around the pool and shop on Las Ramblas and ignore the beautiful city we were going to be in. But it is a good thing that we realized it before we got to the 'I do's' we had been living very separate lives for a very long time.
Let me start from the beginning my father is Charlie Swan District Attorney for Seattle, but although he was always busy he was still my daddy. My mom walked out on us when I was four, not old enough to under stand why, just enough to know that she had. My dad filled the hole she left, always there to listen to any problem no matter how trivial, even when he was busy he would put down his pen, or close his laptop and give me every bit of his attention, and he always, always pushed me to do what I wanted, I wonder when I stopped listening to that. Anyway, he never pushed me to be a lawyer instead when I told him I wanted to study English and become an Editor he said, 'If you're sure that's what you want.' He got me through my course work and was the most important thing in my life.
And then just a little before graduation I met Jake. Jacob Black son of Billy Black Seattle's chief of police and long-time friend of my fathers.
And we got along so well, everything was easy we liked the same thing's, we were both driven to achieve the best that we could by single fathers who supported us in whatever we did.
But I stopped listening to my dad and started listening to Jake. 'You should want to be more than just an editor Bells you're so good at it but where will it go, Little Brown has an opening right above where you are in Account management, it could open up so many doors for you.' And so, I moved and worked and lost sight of what I loved about editing.
Life became about management, instead of helping an author shape something in their heads into something for the masses it became about targets and numbers of units sold – I was never good at math in the first place – and all the enjoyment and love of what I did slowly turned into a mind-numbing blur of boredom and beige walls.
I guess it was lucky that I caught Jake out then, lucky I needed just a little proof that what we were doing was right. If I hadn't gone to look for him I never would have caught him with her!
His secretary, how cliché I can just hear the gossip pages calling! He could have at least had the class to go for someone interesting or with a story! But no, his 24-year-old boob jobbed nipped and tucked secretary. Who even needs nipped and tucked at 24!
I would be married to a cheating asshole who had the nerve to blame me!
'If you hadn't lost your spark Bells, what happened? You've just become like a robot, no joy or happiness anymore you just keep moving and don't look down.'
As you can imagine this brought the 'spark' right out of me in an explosion of bile and vitriol that made me feel more alive than I have in years. How sad, -and I do mean the tears kind - that it takes something like this to make me feel like me again.
So, when my daddy finally pulled me off Jake my knuckles bruised and bloody and his face far more resembling a pulp that his usual debonair lawyer slick, I decided it was time to change the picture, so to speak.
I left Jake to deal with the mess he made, after explaining a few choice morsels to our waiting fathers and the 'important' business contacts Jake had invited to our wedding (our wedding and he was going to do business!) informed my boss (yes, even she was there) that I was taking a leave of absence, and on the way to the airport I arranged to have Jake's stuff removed from My house while I was away.
Its time to find myself again, and no I don't mean some yoga, vegan, Buddhist, journey into myself – not that there's anything wrong with that sort of thing. I mean my love of art and architecture, good food that doesn't cost the earth from some pretentious restaurant that's on the front of every magazine because the chef hit it big this week! But my joy in the little things, in the simple and in the people. And then I can go back home and start again.
As I drifted in and out of daydreams I realized that this was the first time I had really been alone since before I met Jake. Holidays, business trips, even girls' weekends were always taken as a couple! When did I lose my independence? When did I become part of one of those couples, I always hated them, was always far too independent to rely on a partner like that. And yet over the last eight years of our relationship we slowly became 'Bella and Jake' or 'Jake and Bella' I lost, me as an independent entity, a person on their own.
Walking through London airport during my layover I reveled in the peace and quiet. No-one standing next to me asking for something, no-one complaining that I was window shopping for things I didn't need, no-one telling me every five minutes that I needed to remember to do something when we got back to town! It was awesome! So awesome that I got cocky and turned my phone back on.
Boy was that a bad idea.150 messages pinged through in a matter of minutes, from friends, family and colleagues, all of whom had attended the wedding, heard all the gory details and now wanted the gossip straight from the horses' mouth. Well they could all just fuck right off! I had no desire to speak to any of them at this precise moment and who knew if I ever would! The next 30 or so messages came from Jake and ended up deleted like the others, there was absolutely no point in talking to him as he didn't even seem to think he had done anything wrong.
I sent him an email instead saying simply,
'I have arranged to have your stuff removed from the house tomorrow and my attorney will become involved if you make any attempt to get in their way. Ben and Angela have agreed to let the removal company in and have a list of stuff to remove form there. If you send me a list of anything I have missed I will send it on to your father as I assume he will be able to get in touch with you.
I won't be around for the next month or so, I have decided it's been far too long since I went away anywhere I wanted to go, if you need anything don't bother contacting me about it.
Bella Swan'
It may have seemed cold and unfeeling, but I was just starting to feel like myself again and I had missed me!
The only message I listened to was from my father, and that was only because I though he might have something important to say.
'Bells, the Boobs gave me the whole story. Don't worry I will take care of everything, he doesn't have a leg to stand on, form any point of view. Take care of yourself and give your old man a call every now and then… I'm proud of you honey I didn't realize you had gone away until you came back with a bang! That's quite some right hook you got there kiddo, I guess you can't complain about all those self-defense classes I made you take in college now huh?
Look just be careful on your own okay? And call me so I know your safe. Take care B.'
I do love that man and I guess its true, the only man you can really trust is your daddy.
A/N: So, what do we think? I'm not going to promise anything as to timelines or plans cause at the moment its an earworm and it might be doing something but let me know what you think and if you think it's good to continue.
Ta Very Much. Xxx