Hello random strangers who have wandered unknowingly onto this page. This is my first fanfic. I've been meaning to write one for ages but just didn't have the inspiration and, honestly, what's the point of writing a fic if it's going to suck?

Anywhoooo, I shan't bore you any longer than necessary:

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Didn't even pay for the computer I'm typing this up on.

Now on with the show!

Severus' POV (duh!)

Hullo, dearest audience. I think that an introduction is in order:

My name is Severus Snape. I am 15 years of age and currently attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I can currently speak five languages fluently and I'm learning a fifth. I can sing, but I've never let anyone hear me. I like muggle music, though my parents would kill me if they knew. My favourite subject at school is Defence Against the Dark Arts, and contrary to popular belief, I'm not really into the dark arts themselves. But you have to know what you're dealing with in order to protect yourself from it. On a more physical aspect, my eyes aren't actually black but just like my singing, no one knows. If I were to remove the charm that keeps them that way, my right eye would turn the most vibrant shade of blue-grey that you've ever seen and my left one would turn the most absurd shade of hazel with shards of green in it. I wear the charm because my father considers it an anomaly. What he doesn't know is that no one would ever notice if i did take it off because no one ever looks at me if not to insult me.

I suppose I ought to tell you a bit more about my...umm, personal life and my background before I break the really scary news to you. For starters, I'm a virgin. No surprise there, I know. But it's even worse than that; I've never gone out with anyone and I have the most awful feeling in my gut that I never will. I've never kissed anyone or been kissed (there's a difference?). And to top it all off, although I have never had any experience in the sexual realm, I believe myself to be bisexual (if not completely gay). Now, normally I'd be okay with this, it's not that big of a deal, but if my father ever found out...well, let's just say that a five year trip to Azkaban sounds nice in comparison.

Now, I'm sure that you are wondering where the devil I am coming at you from with all this information, but rest assured that there is a point to all of it. A point that you have no doubt understood by now. I am just a little queasy at the thought of actually formulating my feelings into words. But I've got nothing to worry about, right? My secret is safe with you, right?

...Well then, I'll just take that as a definite 'yes'. So here it is, my horrible secret is finally out in the open: I've fallen in love with my WORST enemy. My nemesis! I know what you're thinking; cry me a bloody river. But please keep in mind that everyone, especially the one that I love hates my guts and wants me dead. Perhaps I should be a little clearer with you (for those of you who are rather...feeble minded).

Sirius Black, the most gorgeous, sought-after being in the universe is the one that I, the slimy, ugly, disgusting, greasy Slytherin, have taken a fancy to. Now do you see my problem?

It would be awkward though, if we ever got together. We could never go anywhere public together. Don't get me wrong, I know that the Wizarding world is very open-minded about homosexuality, but I can't help but wonder if he'd ever stand by me. (Not that I would ever blame him if he didn't, it's not his fault that I'm so hideous.) Everyone would constantly be hitting on him and he couldn't help but want someone good looking for a change- but that's all utterly irrelevant and I'm going to squash that fantasy before it goes too far and I actually catch myself making plans to tell the git how i feel. That beautiful, breathtaking git.

And sometimes, I swear I'm not just paranoid, but it just feels like he knows! Just the other day in potions class, for example, he and that stupid fat-headed Potter were working on the table in front of mine (I work alone) and he dropped his ladle on the floor. So he bent down to pick it up and I end up looking at his perfect, well-sculpted ass! Okay, it's a bad example. That one just makes me feel like a lecherous creep. But you get my point. Still, I know how you are probably starting to feel. Like this fraction of my thoughts are some random plea for attention-Well, it well is! Thank you very much for noticing. Contrary to what most people assume of my pastimes, I am not some ''emo'' freak who takes part in bloodletting and common masochism. I may have a high tolerance to pain, but it doesn't mean that I enjoy it. And I'm not some junkie weirdo who gets his kicks off of muggle (or wizard) drugs. So, you see, I need some other means by which to display my malcontent of the world. It seems that, as of late, being a dirty, sarcastic, bitter bastard isn't enough.

I'd like to get a few things out of the way before I continue on my rant of 'how crappy my life seems to be'. There have been some rumours flying around and I'd like to deal with them right now. First of all, I am NOT a vampire. I don't know how mane people I've had to convince on that matter. So, I am terribly sorry to all of you losers who actually made bets on that and lost (you seriously need live...really, there are people out there who can help you). Second of all, I most certainly am not sleeping with Professor Juniper to get good marks in Potions. I don't need to...and YUCK! That's just plain sick. I never want to meet the person who started that rumour for sake of my sanity. The man is bloody 56 years old, and he looks twice that. Besides, I'm naturally fabulous in Potions (So I was christened ''the bat of the dungeons''. Honestly, it's not my fault that my robes billow around me so dramatically.) Not that I like it though, but I have to indulge in what I am good at, as I have neither the beauty nor the brawn to get me through life. Not like Sirius...oh god I'm getting dreamy...Severus Snape does not do dreamy! Think of your reputation, you idiot! Dear lord I'm talking to myself...

Back to my potions rant, what's the use of potion making (if Juniper could hear this...I'd be SO dead!)? I know that certain potions are super (did I just use that word...) useful and have incredible abilities, but unless you can invent a potion, which I've in fact managed to do, what's the fun in tossing a few ingredients together? But, lets say, Transfiguration. Now there is a fascinating subject. Can you imagine being a Transfiguration Master? To have the utmost power and ability to transform anything you want? Ah well, I've always been somewhat of dreamer concerning my future (actually I've always been a dreamer- period). I know that I will never have the skill necessary to become a Transfiguration Master.

Just like I'll never have the 'je-ne-sais-quoi' to have so much as a chance with Sirius Black.

Hi...first ever chapter of my first ever fic...feels weird.

Please review. Or something, flame me, just contact me…or just review me and don't write anything but show me that you read my story...

Sorry for spelling mistakes and stupidity.

I probably won't update too quickly, but I will update eventually..

Tah tah for now...