Goodbye Again by Star24

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Don't profit from them etc etc…

A/N:  An alternate ending to Hello, Goodbye.  I haven't really written a Max POV for a long time and I never did write one for this episode, although I did do one for Logan. This just hit me and I had to put it down on paper.

* * * * *

The penthouse was dark and the computers were turned off. This was something Max had never seen in the almost two years she had been coming here. If she hadn't been relieved to not have to face Logan, she would have wondered more about it, but in her present state of mind it was simply a datum to be processed and filed for later consideration.

She had hung Joshua's necklace on the white board and drawn her diagram. Logan would see it and grasp the significance she was sure.  That is, if he was still interested in helping solve the riddle of White.  The thought of Logan hurt more than she expected. The memory of the hurt in his voice when she had hung up on him was burned into her consciousness. But, she reasoned that he would get over her in time. He might be hurt now, but in time he'd realize that he was better off without her particular brand of poison in his life. And at least he would be alive, not dead from a thoughtless touch made in a moment of inattention or emotion.

She had done the right thing for him. She had to believe that. She was turning to leave when suddenly there was a click and a whir as the lights came on and the computers began to boot up. She turned and saw Logan seated at his dining room table, a glass containing a clear amber liquid in his hand. He raised the glass and the ice cubes in it clinked softly as he took a drink.

"Hi there! " He sounded different, not the Logan she was used to.

"The lights were out. I didn't know you were home." She responded hesitantly, wanting nothing more than to leave before she broke down and ruined it all by telling him that she hadn't meant a word she had said on the phone.

"'Cause if you did, you wouldn't have come, huh?" his voice was mocking, a tone she hadn't heard from him before.

She floundered, searching for something to say, to break the awkwardness, "I found this around Joshua's neck. He said Father gave it to him. It's the same symbol the breeding cult uses."

Logan poured himself another drink. The scent of whiskey reached her nose. Logan was a wine drinker not one for hard alcohol in her experience.  Max realized that there was something very wrong.

"So Sandeman is one of White's cult loonies, huh? Woo-hoo."  Logan gulped down more whiskey.

Max tried desperately to reach him through what, she now realized, was an alcohol induced mood. "Logan, there's a connection between the breeding cult and Manticore."

 Logan stood and began to walk toward her, as she stood there in shock at this side of him she had never seen before.

"Maybe I oughta do an Eyes Only hack, huh? I mean, this is a big news day. In case you hadn't noticed, I tried paging you. Wanted to talk to you, but, uh...guess you were busy."

"I'm going. I just thought you wanted to know."  She turned to leave, hurting inside at the thought that she had done this to Logan.  But then he moved, more quickly than she would have expected, and he was blocking her way. She tried to go past him but he sidestepped and for a moment they performed a bizarre dance of step and sidestep.

"Cut it out" Max lost patience and tried to break through his mood.

Logan only gave her a bitter smile saying, "I could keep you here all night."

She tried pleading with him, "Come on, Logan." 

But he was caught up in his own thoughts, "At least 'til I drop dead."

"I've said everything I needed to say," she tried once more to end it. But Logan wasn't having any part of it. He took another drink and then his eyes were staring accusingly into hers.

"I don't think so. I think there's something else." 

"Logan..." She was desperate. Couldn't he see how this was hurting her every bit as much as it was hurting him?  Then he shocked her out of her thoughts with his next words.

"Or is it someone else? "

She stood there stunned, "What? "

His voice was hard now, his eyes angry, "I needed to talk to you, so I came by your apartment...and I saw him leaving."

She only stared at him as she realized that he had seen Alec leaving that morning, seen the friendly embrace, and had jumped to the wrong conclusion.  A thought began to form, one that at first she pushed away as unthinkable. The one thing she and Logan had left was trust. She couldn't betray that.

Unaware of what was going through her head he continued. "I--I mean, if I've got it wrong, just say so."

Max continued to stare at him, memorizing his features, knowing this might be the last time she'd ever see him. Her eyes traveled over his face. She took in his eyes, shining with emotions behind those sexy little glasses of his, his spiked up hair, his cheeks rough with his usual razor stubble and last of all his lips. The lips that had kissed her so few times, that had given her those precious three words that she would live off for the rest of her life. Even though what she was about to do would destroy the love he had once professed to her.

"Tell me it's not true." He wouldn't let it go.

She took a breath and stepped into the abyss, "I can't."  She waited a beat and then delivered the death blow. "It's over. We're done. Get used to it."

Logan was silent and she felt numb. She had done it.  Max turned to leave him, wanting nothing more than to nurse the remnants of her shattered heart in private. But then Logan did the unexpected.

As she moved to pass him his hands shot out gripping her shoulders, and the glass he had been holding shattered on the floor.

"Logan. Stop. You can't." She started to reach up to pull free and stopped, afraid to touch him. She cursed the fact that her gloves were fingerless providing little protection to him from her deadly touch. He wasn't listening, and before she could process his intentions his lips came down on hers as he pulled her against him.  At first the kiss was hard and punishing but then it softened and she felt the wetness of tears, his or hers she didn't know, running down her face.  For long moments he kissed her and she was helpless to repudiate him. Finally, he pulled back, breathing harshly, Amazingly there was a soft smile on his face.

Max knew the tears running down her face were hers, as she looked up at him, "Why, Logan?" she asked brokenly.

He paled as she watched, and she reached out to cradle him and ease him down to the floor as his legs gave way.

"I had to know Max. Living without you isn't living, I already found that out. At least this way I know the truth and I can die knowing you love me."

"Logan, no…I do love you and… I need you and… I can't live without you…please…Logan…" she was sobbing as his eyes closed and his breathing slowed.  She desperately looked around for the phone. "Hang on Logan. Joshua will transfuse you again. Please…" But there was silence and when she reached down she couldn't find a pulse.

As the moon rose it lit two figures on the floor. One lying motionless, the other shaking with sobs, spread over the first as if to protect it from what might come.

* * * *

"Logan no…." Max sat bolt upright in her bed. She was shaking, and tears were rolling down her face. Her pulse was racing. It took her a moment to glance around her room, and then memory hit her. Going to Logan's and finding him drunk. His mistaken conclusion and her failure to correct it.

"Omigod. No. Please." Shaking she reached for the phone and punched in a number. It rang and rang and she felt like she was about to vomit.

"Hello?"  She almost dropped the phone in relief at the voice on the other end, rough with sleep and alcohol but most definitely alive.

"Logan?"

Max? What do you want? Its 3 AM "

"Logan there's something I need to tell you. Can I come over? Please?" She held her breath waiting for him to tell her to get lost.

There was silence for a moment and then he answered slowly. "I'm not going anywhere."

FINIS