It was like the nuclear holocaust, Rachel was thinking as she stared out the window of her bedroom at the thick blanket of snow that was covering her home and the street outside. The snow was thicker by the second, you could hardly see all the way across the street to Artie's house. Of course, that did not bother Rachel. She was sick of seeing how everyone seemed to be friends with Artie now, the whole Glee club seemed to file in and out of there daily.
Rachel had not noticed she was crying until just now, but that was to be expected. She had seen Puck and Santana entering Artie's hands, playing around with each other in the snow. The majority of the club had been at Artie's house that day. From her second story window, Rachel had seen them all enter the small ranch style house, only to exit a few minutes later and have a snowball fight. Rachel had watched as Puck and Santana had flirted heavily, pushing each other into the snow and ended up kissing. The only members of New Directions that were not involved were Rachel (of course), Sam, and Kurt.
Kurt was probably off with Blaine, getting comfortable with his new relationship. Rachel and Kurt had spoken more regularly since he had transferred to Dalton. Though she missed him, she did not consider them to be good friends. They were just, friends. She would talk to Kurt about his relationship with Blaine and the songs she wanted to sing in club. However, she had not sung in quite some time. She was the background to the club. Now that Finn and Quinn were back together, everyone looked to them to sing the solos. Rachel was not needed anymore, though she stayed in the club for the hope she would one day feel wanted.
Nobody knew where Sam was lately. Since the breakup with Quinn and his brief stint with Santana, he had only come to Glee club when he felt like it. He did not sing solos, nor did he really participate in the group numbers. Truth be told, Sam did not do anything spectacular anymore. He was not depressed, he just had more on his plate. He had joined the basketball team and was planning on baseball; at least that was what Rachel had heard.
Rachel turned from her window, wiping the tears from her face and standing up. She needed to do something else right now. She needed to get out. Rachel walked to her closet and dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a sweatshirt over the top. She had not worn her sweaters in quite some time, she dressed more like a normal teenager now. Pulling her boots over her feet, Rachel grabbed her purse and exited her room. She pounded down the stairs and put her coat on, pulled a knit cap over her brunette locks, and exited the house.
A few minutes later, Rachel had arrived at the park down the street from her house. She was quite alone, as it was around dinner time and beginning to get dark. At least she was away from the New Directions party at Artie's house; at least she did not have to look at all of her fellow Glee clubbers being happy when she was so obviously miserable.
Nobody asked her how she was feeling ever, they ignored her as they had before. However, it had gotten worse when Mercedes, Tina, and Artie had stopped talking to her. Everyone thought she was terrible for telling Santana she would only have a future on a pole. It was mean, sure, but it needed to be said. Now, here she was all alone.
"Rachel?" a voice came from behind her, and Rachel turned to see Sam standing there bundled in a coat and scarf. Rachel had not realized she was crying again, but she wiped the tears from her face before giving Sam a wavering smile.
"Hi, Sam," she responded quietly and then turned back to the empty park. The white layers of snow were piling up, trees were groaning under the weight of the six inches of snow. The bench Rachel sat on was covered with snow, though she had hardly noticed when she'd sat down. Now she could feel the coldness of the snow sliding up her body, soaking through her pants.
"You okay?" he asked her, walking around the bench and sitting right next to her on the snowy bench. He knew it was covered with snow, but he didn't care.
"Um, I am fine, Sam. Thank you," she informed him, though she was obviously not okay.
"No, seriously, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself lately," Sam said to her, looking at her hoping she would open up with him.
"The same could be said for you," Rachel said somewhat bitterly.
"True…very true," he said, keeping a calm and nice tone to his voice.
"What are you doing out here?" Rachel asked, changing the subject from her emotional stability.
"Just heading home," he told her, running his hand through the snow on the bench beside him.
"Oh, were you at Artie's party?" Rachel asked him, looking down at her lap. Of course she was the only person in New Directions who was not invited. Even Lauren Zizes had been there.
"What? Artie had a party? I was at the gym, too many cool ranch Doritos," Sam's tone of voice was surprised, apparently the 'cool kids' had forgotten to invite him.
"Yeah, I figured you'd be there. Since you're the king or something," she said, referencing how popular he had been before.
"Well, maybe before, but now I'm not even really that much a part of Glee. Like you, what happened? You used to always be involved. And now you don't even sing much anymore," he questioned, bringing the conversation back to the emotional instability.
"Shut up, Sam, okay? I don't sing anymore because nobody needs me. I'm dead to them. They had a party, and look at me…I'm here, alone, because nobody wants a freak like me there. They hate me because of what I said to Santana," she mumbled, looking at the snow.
"Rachel, nobody hates you because of what you said to Santana. Lauren called her a bitch and yet she's always with them. You're the one who's not including yourself," Sam told her, the honesty tearing into Rachel.
She began to cry again, her nose was running from how much she'd cried that day. She had not cried this much in a while, but here she was sobbing in the park with Sam Evans sitting beside her.
"And? You're right, I don't want to be a part of that anymore. They're all so, cruel. They don't care about talent, it's all popularity. Just like you Sam. All you care about is being popular and everyone loving you," Rachel spoke, her voice was bold and rude.
Almost as soon as she'd spoken those harsh words, she willed them to come back to her. He was going to hate her. She could already see Sam's face falling in the darkness of the evening. Snow was beginning to fall again and she looked at him with disappointment.
"Sam, I'm sorry," she said, but he raised his hand to her.
"No, you're right Rachel. I guess that is all I care about. I don't know how to not be popular. Glee made me a dork and it killed me. Maybe that's why I've cut myself out so much, but you…it just doesn't make any sense," he spoke quietly.
"Sam," Rachel said, but he cut her off once more.
"You're so talented, and shit, you're prettier than the other girls. But you just think you're nothing. Just, stand up for yourself," he spoke and Rachel's mouth opened in awe. Words escaped her, she did not know how to respond to what he had said.
"Wow," was all Rachel could muster out.
"I have to go," Sam said, quickly standing up and walking away.
"Sam wait!" Rachel shouted at him, but he did not turn back.
Someone thought she was pretty? Rachel was almost more in awe of how Sam had straight up told her she was prettier than the other girls. Was that the real reason he'd avoided glee? Rachel stood from the bench, her pants pretty soaked through, and began walking home. She needed to talk to Sam again, but when and how would it happen?