"LINK!" A very thin, skinny, and rather scary-looking sheikah ran up to Link and shook him by the shoulders. "ZELDA'S NOT HERE!"
Link blinked blankly. "You mean, she's dead or summat?"
"YES!" Impa yelled, nearly bursting because of natural causes. "SHE'S NOT HEEEREEEE!"
"You mean she was kidnapped or summat?" Poor, stupid Link.
"YYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS! NOW GO FIND HER!" Two guards appeared after Impa shreiked and spontaniously combusted and kicked Link out of the castle. He hit the ground hard and skidded, getting mud all over his tunic, and blinked dimly. "You mean she ran away?"
No answer.
"THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR LINK!" The man jumped up energetically, ran off, tripped, got up, ran some more, tripped, got up, ran some more, you know the drill.
Well, after days, nights, weeks, months, ad years of running and tripping, he arrived at a scary-looking dungeon. It seemed to rise up into the sky, and it looked like a giant skull with fangs. Inside the open mouth, though, was a peice of chocolate.
Mmm, sugar.
Link, being the doofus he normally is, somehow didn't notice the large stick and the thick string that was attached to the chocolate bar. He ran inside hastily and grabbed it, ripping off the wrapper, sitting in a corner, and gnawing on it. Well, the string was pulled and the stick came down, closing the jaws of the skull/dungeon thing. The horrors.
There was darkness and silence. After a few minutes, after Link polished off the wrapper, he shivered and got up slowly. It took him a day to get up, because if you rush him he takes longer, and little gremlins were ramming into his legs repeatedly.
Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH! NOT THE BEEPING!"
... Beep.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Link ran into a wall, somehow making a hole through it and into the boss room. Ooooh, hello mr. shortcut.
He blinked slowly, looking at his surroundings. There was little light here, Link was hungry, and the accursed beeping was going on in the background.
"I will not run from this monster." He shivered and walked into the middle of the room. "I will stay put and fight whatever comes out here."
Suddenly, a large blackish face arose in the middle of the room, right where Link was standing. "..Boo."
"WAAAAHHHH!" Link nearly jumped out of his boots as he ran around the room, screaming his lungs out as evil purple fireballs of doom rained down on him. The face cackled evilly and released its evil purple spawn children of doom to chase Link around. Better yet, little pits formed in the floor at random places, so Link had a lot on his tiny little mind.
Link ran here, ran there, ran everywhere, trampling on the scary face thingie in the meanwhile. The weird boss-y thing groaned, emmiting evil purple sparks of doom. A few days later, he exploded in a flurry of ice cream. "ICE CREEEAAAAM!" Link yelled as he gobbled as much ice cream as he coould possibly find, not noticing the crystal with the princess Zelda floating down into the middle of the room.
Link, eating all of the ice cream and feeling extremely hyper, started to gnaw on the crystal. it shattered into a million tiny little peices, most of them embedding themselves in Zelda's hair, making her look funny.
She slowly opened her eyes to look at Link, stared at him for a minute, then glomped him. "LINK! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEEEN!?"
He staggered around with Zelda clinging to his neck, teleporting to the castle gardens. Link attempted to pry her off him, but spontaniously combusted. Natural causes.
THE END
Link blinked blankly. "You mean, she's dead or summat?"
"YES!" Impa yelled, nearly bursting because of natural causes. "SHE'S NOT HEEEREEEE!"
"You mean she was kidnapped or summat?" Poor, stupid Link.
"YYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS! NOW GO FIND HER!" Two guards appeared after Impa shreiked and spontaniously combusted and kicked Link out of the castle. He hit the ground hard and skidded, getting mud all over his tunic, and blinked dimly. "You mean she ran away?"
No answer.
"THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR LINK!" The man jumped up energetically, ran off, tripped, got up, ran some more, tripped, got up, ran some more, you know the drill.
Well, after days, nights, weeks, months, ad years of running and tripping, he arrived at a scary-looking dungeon. It seemed to rise up into the sky, and it looked like a giant skull with fangs. Inside the open mouth, though, was a peice of chocolate.
Mmm, sugar.
Link, being the doofus he normally is, somehow didn't notice the large stick and the thick string that was attached to the chocolate bar. He ran inside hastily and grabbed it, ripping off the wrapper, sitting in a corner, and gnawing on it. Well, the string was pulled and the stick came down, closing the jaws of the skull/dungeon thing. The horrors.
There was darkness and silence. After a few minutes, after Link polished off the wrapper, he shivered and got up slowly. It took him a day to get up, because if you rush him he takes longer, and little gremlins were ramming into his legs repeatedly.
Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH! NOT THE BEEPING!"
... Beep.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Link ran into a wall, somehow making a hole through it and into the boss room. Ooooh, hello mr. shortcut.
He blinked slowly, looking at his surroundings. There was little light here, Link was hungry, and the accursed beeping was going on in the background.
"I will not run from this monster." He shivered and walked into the middle of the room. "I will stay put and fight whatever comes out here."
Suddenly, a large blackish face arose in the middle of the room, right where Link was standing. "..Boo."
"WAAAAHHHH!" Link nearly jumped out of his boots as he ran around the room, screaming his lungs out as evil purple fireballs of doom rained down on him. The face cackled evilly and released its evil purple spawn children of doom to chase Link around. Better yet, little pits formed in the floor at random places, so Link had a lot on his tiny little mind.
Link ran here, ran there, ran everywhere, trampling on the scary face thingie in the meanwhile. The weird boss-y thing groaned, emmiting evil purple sparks of doom. A few days later, he exploded in a flurry of ice cream. "ICE CREEEAAAAM!" Link yelled as he gobbled as much ice cream as he coould possibly find, not noticing the crystal with the princess Zelda floating down into the middle of the room.
Link, eating all of the ice cream and feeling extremely hyper, started to gnaw on the crystal. it shattered into a million tiny little peices, most of them embedding themselves in Zelda's hair, making her look funny.
She slowly opened her eyes to look at Link, stared at him for a minute, then glomped him. "LINK! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEEEN!?"
He staggered around with Zelda clinging to his neck, teleporting to the castle gardens. Link attempted to pry her off him, but spontaniously combusted. Natural causes.
THE END