One Shot: My Fate Decided
For the first time in my life I let my future in the hands of some bloke, but in my eyes he wasn't some bloke, he was the love of my life. No-one makes me feel the way he does. Every time I see his face my heart starts pounding, the butterflies in my chest explode, a smile emerges on my face. I try to hid my happiness, my desire, but he can see straight though me. He's my soul mate, knows what I want, and knows how I think, how I feel.
He should be here by now. If he didn't show up, didn't come, I'd understand. His family live here, but if he didn't want to come he wouldn't have hesitated. Yet again the phone interrupted us and off to the rescue he went...after this family, that's just one of the many things adore about him. He's caring, loving, understanding...
"Ron you ready!". Why did she have to be so pushy? I'm the one leaving for her, not of my will, my own accord and there she is shouting, pushing me out of Walford. "I'm waiting for Jack". I had to tell her. Great now she's storming down the stairs and gunna start going off it. I can't help how I feel about the man.
"Ron he isn't going to show up". What the hell does my sister know, he will show up, she just can't stand me having one once of happiness. "The sooner we go the better. Sean's gunna find out sooner or later. Please Ron, our flights are leaving soon too". I guess she was right in way. If Sean found out he would stop us going and our flights do leave soon. We can't exactly miss them and waste £300. But who was she to tell me to hurry up to leave Jack. Afterall, she was my sister and I would do anything for her, even if it was leaving Jack behind, I'll move on find someone else, won't I?
"Ronnie are you even listening to me?". Roxy was right I need to snap out of it.
"Of course I'm listening to you". The anger inside me, the frustration all building up. Why couldn't life be simple? One simple phone call and my fate would be decided. My fate decided by a man, no wonder Roxy's having a go, she knows me better than anyone else, no man controls my life, but do I really want to be lonely all of my life. Then again I wouldn't be lonely I would have my sister, my beautiful new baby niece or nephew, even my daughter if I could actually find her.
"Ring for a taxi will ya". Who does she think she is? She could phone for it, I mean she's just standing there doing her make-up, messing with her hair. Great now she's off upstairs, guess I was always the responsible one.
Searching through my bag for my phone, I never realised how much stuff I had, how much junk. There it was right beside my phone, the most beautiful picture of me and Jack, both smiling, both happy in each other's arms. Why couldn't it be that simple now? Why couldn't we just rewind time and start over again, but if we done that I wouldn't realise just how much I love him, how much I possibly need him. I can't help but smile whenever I see him, hear his name, see anything do to with him.
'...5631'. My heart jumped, skipped a beat. Was that Jack's number really flashing up on my screen, interrupting me from phoning for the taxi. What if he didn't want to come? What if he was gunna break up with me other the phone? He wouldn't do that would he? He's probably just phoning to say he's going to be a little late that's all. I just get wound up to easily.
"Hello". Why isn't he saying anything back? My hearts shattering here. I can feel my eyes filling up, please just say hello Jack, please. "Jack is that you?" I had to speak up I need to know, my gut was about to explode, the agony of not knowing, why couldn't he just get it over and done with.
"Yeah it's me". He's been crying, sounds upset. My worst fears have come true, over the phone of all ways, the hatred boiling up inside of me, my heart thumping. How could I get this way? This wasn't me, this wasn't Ronnie Mitchell. Shake it off Ron...shake it off. "I...I...can't come..." Did he really just say that? "I'm sorry". I can't catch my breath, can't speak, I've frozen. The tears drippling down my face, never have I let a man hurt me so much, why should Jack bloody Branning be so different.
"Jack". It might have been weak, but I had to say something. All I can hear is bleeping; he didn't just hang up on me. I never thought a person could feel all these emotions. "I love you". I had to sit down. My heart was broken, everything seemed a mess, a fairytale, a dream. I actually said I love you for what, for no-one to hear. I wonder where he is, what he's doing, what's going on it that damn brain of his. He didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face.
I'm better off without him. No more will allow my fate to be decided by a bloke, no matter how much I love him, how much I need him, how much I need to be held by him. This was the end of the round, for me, Jack & Walford, the place that had been my home for 10 months. Never in my life have I had such emotions, such chaos run through me in a short space of time.
I rummaged through my bag, picking up the photo of me and Jack. One tear slipped down my face landing on the photo as I ripped it up and let it float to the ground.