Disclaimer: I own not: Jackie, Hyde, Donna, Eric, Kelso, Fez, or The
Easter Bunny.
For: Theressa, thanks for the idea!
Hyde the Easter Bunny
by Autumn
The Forman basement
Kelso, Fez, and Eric are laughing so hard they are crying. The view
shifts to the subject of their glee, a very pissed Steven Hyde. He
is sitting with his arms crossed hard across his chest and a
murderous look across his face. More importantly he is dressed in a
pink terrycloth Easter Bunny costume complete with rabit ears and a
fluffy tail.
Kelso: Oh man, how did you get roped into that?!
Hyde: (in a dangerous tone) Jackie.
Fez: Oh! Jackie pulled a fast one on Hyde, again!
Eric: Yeah, man she has got you so whipped, and you're not even
dating her!
Kelso: Yeah, you loser.
Hyde: You dillholes better shut it, or I'll kick all your asses!
Fez: Oh, boy that would be a sight too see.
Eric: So Mr. Cottontail, how did this happen?
Hyde sighs in resignation and begins his tail of woe....
Hyde: Ok, it all started with this stupid game.....
Earlier that day in the basement....
Hyde, Jackie and Donna are sitting around with nothing to do.
Hyde is staring at Jackie, who is filling her nails, completly
oblivious. Donna watches him, and a lightbulb goes off in her head.
Donna: So, do you guys wanna play a little game?
Hyde: (still staring at Jackie) What kind of game?
Donna: Well it's called Total Truth. We each write down one dare, it
can be as embarrasing as you want it to be and stick it in a hat.
Then we each draw one out. We then play total truth. We ask wach
other questions and you have to answer honestly, when you get a
question the you refuse to answer, you take your dare, read it, and
HAVE to do it.
Jackie: Sounds interesting.
Hyde: I'm in.
The three busily write down their dares and stick them in the Packers
football helmet. They draw them out and place them behind them.
Hyde smirked the entire time thinking that nobody could out dare
him. Hindsight is 20/20, I'll tell you that for free, Hyde however,
didn't even think about the consequences, after all, it was Donna and
Jackie, how bad could their questions be?
Donna: Jackie, wanna start?
Jackie: Donna, what's your most embarassing moment?
Donna: When Eric depantsed me.
Donna: Hyde, did you nail Pap Macey?
Hyde: No, and I wouldn't want too. Weak question Donna.
Hyde: Jackie, what color are your underwear? He smirked, certain
that he'd already gotten her out of the game. Jackie wouldn't answer
a question like that, but he wanted to get a rise out of her.
His jaw dropped when she simply lifted the waist band of her jeans
and checked.
Jackie: Green. Would you like to check Steven? She asked sweetly.
Hyde: (just blushed and mumbled) I didn't think you'd answer my
question.
Jackie: Well, surprise, surprise I did. Ok, so Donna, how many
times a week do you and Eric do it?
Donna and Hyde: Jackie!
Jackie: What, I can ask any question can't I?
Donna: Um yeah. Ok, like 15.
Jackie lets out a whistle, and Hyde just laughs quietly.
Donna: Hyde, how many times do you masterbate a night?
Hyde and Jackie: Donna!
Donna: Hey, he doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want too. He can
always punk out and go for the dare.
Hyde: I'll answer the damn question. (hotly blushing) Um, probably
about three.
Jackie: Whoa! (In a teasing tone) He's certainly a strapping young
lad!
Hyde: (blushes even more, and tries to think of a REALLY good
question to ask Jackie).
Hyde: Ok, Jackie. ( He gets an EVIL look across his face) What was
the strangest thing that you and- oh, damnit I can't ask that! What
do you usally sleep in? Hyde lifts his soda up to drink, disgusted
with himself.
Jackie: Nothing.
Hyde spits out the drink he had just taken.
Jackie: Something wrong Steven?
Hyde: No, it's uh, I just kind of expected you to say, a nightgown
with unicorns on it or something.
Jackie: (brightly) Well, you learn something new everyday!
Donna: I'll say.
Jackie: Oh, good it's Donna's turn! Donna, have you ever giv-
Donna: Ok, I'm done now! She pulls out her dare and reads it aloud.
Donna: Rub cheese under Forman's bed. (rolls her eyes) That was weak
Hyde.
Hyde: Turn it over.
Donna (turns paper over) Wearing grannie panties!
Hyde and Jackie laugh, while Donna tries to stay mad at the two.
Hyde: Ok, so it's my turn now. Jackie, have you ever.... (he trailed
off) been to Disneyland? He finished lamely.
Donna stared at him, this wasn't Hyde. Hyde ALWAYS won at these
kinds of things. Yet here he was asking Jackie extremely simplistic
questions.
Jackie: Yes. (She grew serious and lowered her eyes before asking in
a quiet voice.) Did you feel anything when we kissed?
Hyde: Uhhh..... He wanted to answer her, but not with Donna sitting
right there. Ok, fine I cave, I'll do the stupid bet.
Jackie looked slightly disapointed but didn't have much time to think
about it as Hyde started yelling.
Hyde: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BET IS THIS! THIS IS JUST EVIL!
DRESSING UP AS THE FREAKIN' EASTER BUNNY?!
Jackie and Donna both burst out laughing.
Donna: It's your own stupid fault, you couldn't even ask her a real
question! Serves you right Hyde!
Jackie looking very pleased with herself turned to the still Seething
Steven. Completely oblivious to his anger, a bubbly Jackie turned to
Hyde and proceeded to tell him all about his upcoming adventure.
Hyde: Oh, it'll be perfect! You'll wear this cute, pink, Easter
bunny costume, and be surrounded by cute little kids all day, taking
pictures! And I'll be there all day in my cute little chick outfit.
It'll be so much fun! I've gotta run home and get your costume! Oh,
you are such a sweatheart for doing this for the mall! She kissed him
on the cheek and bounded out the door.
Hyde to Donna: I am such a pansy! What the hell is wrong with me? I
can't believe I have to spend the day in a damn rabbit suite
promoting a holiday that the government exploits to make people damn
fat! I'm a man damnit! I'm not supposed to be dressed as a freakin'
rabbbit!
Donna: (getting up to leave) Love makes people do strange things.
Hyde: What the hell does that mean?
Donna exits the basement and Hyde is left to sulk over his fate.
Back in the circle.....
Eric: Hyde, you are such a girl!
Hyde: Hey, shut it Forman, or I'll tell Donna all about Dr. pee pee.
Eric: Then I'll tell Jackie about you crying when Kelso's dog bit you.
Hyde: Forman you're dead. Hyde in all his pink terryclothed glory,
lunges at Eric and they wrestle on the ground. Jackie enters the
basement and runs over to the two boys.
Jackie: Eric! Stop it, you'll get Steven all dirty!
Kelso: Yeah, Eric you'll get pansy boy all messed up!
Jackie: Shut up Kelso, you're just jealous that YOU couldn't look
sexy as a rabbit.
Kelso: OH! I would make a damn sexy Easter bunny, Hyde, give me the
costume!
Hyde: No, if Jackie says you'd be a lame looking rabbit, then that's
all there is too it.
Jackie: Thank you Steven, not let's go! There are so many excited
kids waiting to see you!
So, Jackie dressed as a little chick, and Hyde left the basement to
the mirth of their friends.
Eric: Ladies and gentleman, Hyde the Easter Bunny has left the
building!
The three boys in the basement collapesed in hysterical laughter and
the Easter from Hell began.