Standing outside of the patient's room she silently watched the figures on the other side of the glass. He was at Jane Doe's bedside again. He spent a lot of time there-- an inordinate amount of time in her mind. She was all for patient care. She realized the benefit of superior treatment on a patient's well-being, but there had to be a limit. He had to be crossing some sort of line. Didn't he have any other patients? She knew he did-- and she could find him more…
No, he was just doing his job… and doing it well. He was compassionate, caring, and involved-- and that was the problem wasn't it?
Watching his handsome face etched with concern, she sighed with acceptance of the truth. She always fell for the right man at the wrong time. Mark had provided her with so many things she'd needed: sexual desire, adventure, memories of a wilder age, a diversion from conventionalism. He could have been the right man, but she'd been married to Derek at the time. And now, when the opportunity presented itself, in the midst of their sixty days arrangement, he wasn't the right man. She was emotionally damaged and battered and needed not Mark's variety of excitement, but rather the empathetic, healing kind of ardor that could possibly last for a lifetime. She hated that he wasn't the man to provide that for her and that her instincts told her that Alex Karev was. Of course, she'd come to this realization when she was giving Mark his second chance and the intern had flat out told her he didn't want her.
If only she could say the same thing about him.
He looked up from speaking with Jane Doe and met her eyes. He smiled and she felt her breathing hitch. He walked towards her and she believed that she couldn't possibly have been able to move if her life depended on it. Joining her on the other side of the door, he came to stand beside her, their shoulders almost touching.
"Hey."
One word and she lost almost all her composure.
"Hey." She wait a moment before turning to look at his profile. Bad idea. He was rugged and masculine, even in such a sterile place-- a hospital for goodness's sake. And when he turned to stare at her with those eyes as he was doing now, she always became undone.
She hoped she didn't show such a vulnerability when he looked at her and guessed that she didn't as he continued to stare at her, obviously wondering why she had been outside the door looking in.
"Alex, I…" She stopped, not knowing what to say. She wanted to grab him by his scrubs and tell him that he was supposed to want her too, but the words were not going emerge so she just remained silent, hoping he'd miraculously understood.
Her heart skipped a beat as he nodded. He motioned towards the sleeping Jane Doe.
"I think she's getting better, don't you?"
She felt her heart drop to her feet.