DISCLAIMERS: 'Castle' is the property of Andrew W. Marlowe and ABC Studios Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is the soul property of the author and may not be archived without her permission.
SUMMARY: My entry for the 2014 Winter Ficathon. Kate fights ghosts and a threat from her past while trying to start a family with Castle. It takes place in the months following Caskett's November 2014 wedding. Rated T, but that rating might change.
A/N #1: I promise that I will return to Baby Hope soon. It will probably be my entry for the Summer Ficathon.
A/N #2: There is going to be a lot going on in this story. For my followers who love angst, you're going to love this story. For the rest of you, I'm sorry, but angst is what I do best.
Ghosts from the Past
Chapter 1: A Most Unlikely Threat
"Rick?" Kate was sprawled across Castle's chest one cold December night. They'd made love and now they were both lying close together. Kate was tracing light circles on Rick's chest with her fingernails, listening to the reassuring thud of his heart under her ear.
"Hmm?" His voice was a drowsy hum in the quiet warmth of their bedroom.
"I think I'm ready."
"That's nice. Ready for what?"
"To have a baby."
"Great. We'll talk about it in the morning. Love you."
"Rick? Castle?" Kate sat up and patted his chest, rousing him to full wakefulness. "Is that all that you have to say?"
"'Bout what?" His eyes were sleepy and he looked so adorable that she couldn't help smiling.
"About having a baby. Is that all that you have to say about it? That we'll talk about it in the morning?"
"I thought that you stopped taking the pill on our wedding day."
"I did."
"Then, there's nothing to talk about."
"Do you think that I'm ready?"
Castle propped himself up on his elbows and looked at his wife. "Part of you must've thought that you were ready if you stopped taking birth control."
"But, do you think that I'm ready?"
"Kate, I don't think you're ever entirely ready to be a parent. I know that I wasn't when Meredith got pregnant with Alexis. Having a baby is just one of those things that you have to be ready for when it happens, whether you're really ready or not. I do know that there's nothing that I want more than to father a child with you. Does that help?"
"Yeah," she smiled before lying down with her head on his chest once again.
"Besides, since I've been banned from the precinct, I can be a stay at home dad again, just like I was with Alexis. It'll be great. Can I ask you something though? It has to do with your shooting. Will you be okay carrying a baby to term?"
"I have to see my cardiologist once a year. I've never talked to him about having a baby. I've always felt so good for so long that I haven't given it much thought. I'll talk to my OB/GYN and see what he says."
"Maybe we should use condoms until we get a definitive okay."
"Castle, I'll be fine."
"I don't want to risk it," she lifted her head to stare at him. "I never want to feel that helplessness again, Kate. I never want to feel that fear of almost losing you."
"Okay," she touched his lips with her fingers. "If you want to use condoms, then we'll use condoms."
The next morning after taking a shower, Kate stood in front of the bathroom mirror, wiping the steam off of it before taking a long look at herself in it. Just as they had every time she looked in a mirror over the past three and a half years, her eyes automatically drifted down to the puckered scar near her left breast. She lifted her fingers and lightly touched it, feeling the texture of the damaged skin there.
When she'd been released from the hospital after her shooting, the furthest thing from her mind was having a child. She'd just got out of her relationship with Josh and didn't feel ready to enter into things with Castle, even though she knew that he loved her. So she'd never discussed future children with either her cardiologist or her OB/GYN. But now she wondered if that was going to be in the cards.
She startled slightly when the bathroom door opened and Castle walked in, his hair sticking up in all directions. She smiled at how adorably rumpled he looked in the mornings. He walked over and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Morning," he kissed the top of her head. "What're you thinking about?"
"Castle, what if he tells me that it's too dangerous?"
"Okay, I just woke up, so could you maybe clarify exactly what it is that you're talking about? What if who tells you that it's too dangerous to do what?"
"What if my cardiologist tells me that it's too dangerous for me to get pregnant?" She turned in his arms. "I feel fine, Castle."
"If he tells you that it's too dangerous, we'll find another way. Kate, there are lots of ways to have a baby. We can adopt, or we can try surrogacy."
"But I want it to be our baby."
"Kate, it will be our baby. It might not have our DNA, but it will still be ours. You need to relax. You're thinking prematurely here. Make an appointment with both of your doctors and then we'll take it from there. Okay?"
"Okay," she allowed him to pull her against his chest. "I'd better get dressed."
When she walked out of Castle's office and into the living room half an hour later, she smiled at the sight of her husband holding out her travel mug of coffee. "It's cold out there, so stay bundled up," he helped her into her coat, wrapping her scarf around her. "And try not to worry so much."
"I can't help it."
"I know, but I have a feeling that everything is going to be just fine," he finished wrapping her scarf before kissing her softly. "I'll see you this evening. Kate?"
"Yes?"
"I love you," he kissed her once again, feeling her smile against his lips.
"I love you, too. I'll call you at lunchtime."
He stood at the door for a few minutes after he'd let Kate out before going into his office and sitting in front of his computer. He was still staring at his screensaver when he heard footsteps. He looked up to see Alexis standing in the doorway. "Good morning, sweetie."
"Good morning, dad. I have to leave for class in a little while, but before I left I thought that I'd cook you breakfast. What're you in the mood for?"
"I'm not hungry right now, but thank you."
"Is everything all right?" Alexis came in and sat down on the sofa. "I might not be able to help with whatever is troubling you, but I can at least listen."
"Kate told me last night that she wants us to have a baby."
"Dad, that's great!" Alexis smiled.
"But now I've made her start worrying, which is the last thing that I want to do."
"Worrying about what?"
"I want to make sure that her heart is okay. I know that she was medically cleared, but I don't think that included any future pregnancies. Now she's worried about what happens if her doctor doesn't clear her to get pregnant."
"Then you have a baby another way."
"That's what I told her, but she wants to carry my baby. I told her that she's thinking prematurely."
"You're right. She should wait to see what her doctor has to say first. It's going to be okay, dad," Alexis got up and walked over to his chair. "In any case, I can't wait to be a big sister," she hugged him. "I'd better get to class."
"Bye, sweetie. Have a good day."
"Thanks, dad. You, too. I'll see you this afternoon."
***CCC***
The day had started out cold and had just gotten colder as it went on. Kate and the boys had gotten a call for a body drop just before noon. It was open and shut, as far as murders went. They brought in a suspect for interrogation and had gotten a quick confession. The boys had gone out to grab some lunch, leaving Kate alone to finish up the DD-5's. But instead of working on her reports, she sat staring at her desk.
Unable to focus on her work, she took out her phone and dialed the number of her OB/GYN. The receptionist answered on the second ring. "Yes, this is Katherine Beckett. I'd like to schedule an appointment with Dr. Isaac."
"Dr. Isaac just retired. Dr. Caldwell is seeing his patients. When was your last appointment, Ms. Beckett?"
"Last May. When did Dr. Isaac retire? He didn't say anything to me when I saw him last."
"He retired in the middle of July. I have an opening for next Wednesday at two o'clock."
"Next Wednesday is fine. You said that the new doctor's name is Caldwell?"
"Yes, Elizabeth Caldwell. She will see you next Wednesday.
"Thank you." She ended the call and then called Castle. "Hey, what're you doing?" She couldn't help smiling when he answered his phone.
"Well, I'm supposed to be writing, but I'm on Facebook. How's work?"
"The usual. Boring. We had a case earlier, but we got a confession. I'm supposed to be writing my 5's, but I thought that I'd call you instead. Do we have stuff for Tortilla Soup? I feel like soup and you know that's my favorite."
"If we don't have everything, I can run to the market. Are you feeling better?"
"I guess. I made an appointment with my gynecologist, but I found out he retired. I'm seeing his replacement next week. I think the weather is making me achy."
"Then I will make you some soup and run you a hot bath."
"That sounds wonderful," she smiled. "I guess I'd better let you get back to your writing. I'll see you in a couple of hours."
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you, too."
***CCC***
It was starting to sleet when Kate walked out of the precinct shortly after five. She walked down to the corner, pressing the button to cross the street to the parking garage. The heels of her boots echoed off of the cement floor as she walked toward her car, which was parked on the first floor of the garage. She heard footsteps behind her, but there were always footsteps in the structure, which was used by most of the nearby businesses.
She had her keys in her hand and had just pressed the button to unlock the doors when the footsteps behind her spoke. "Detective Beckett?"
When she turned around, she had her feet kicked out from under her. Landing with a thud onto the concrete, Kate was momentarily stunned before quickly getting her bearings and jumping quickly upright. Her attacker was dressed in black, including a black ski mask over his face. "Who are you?" She asked, jumping back as he took another swing at her, narrowly missing her.
Kate tried to move, but her assailant was quicker. His next shot knocked her off of her feet, onto her knees. She felt searing pain go through her right leg as she tried to get back up, but her right leg crumpled underneath her. Kate screamed, but the man in the garage laughed at her. "Nobody's going to hear you. This is New York City. Nobody ever sees anything."
His voice was muffled by the wool ski mask, but something about it was vaguely familiar. But before she could figure out where she'd heard his voice before, he was above her, wrapping her scarf around her neck. "No," Kate whimpered, kicking at him. She got her fingers around the ski mask and yanked it off of his head, digging her short nails into the sides of his face, which angered him, causing him to tighten the scarf.
Kate was kicking, gagging, and scratching; much like that day she'd been hanging from that rooftop so long ago. Right now, that day felt like another lifetime. Right now, the fight was for her life and she felt like she was losing. Spots swam in front of her eyes as she felt the oxygen leaving her body.
Right before she lost consciousness, she heard shouts and running footsteps. The scarf around her neck instantly loosened as her attacker let go of her. She heard two pairs of footsteps running, but she heard someone calling out to her like from the end of a very long tunnel. It sounded like Ryan, but she couldn't be sure.
Her next moment of consciousness was blinking red and blue. She let out a small groan when she felt herself being lifted. She felt her coat and shirt being opened followed by something sticky being applied to her chest. But she couldn't move, couldn't speak. Right now she could barely breathe and all she wanted was Castle.
A/N #3: I promised angst and angst is what you're going to get. I promise that nobody is going to die. But that's the only thing I'm willing to promise at this point.
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