Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.
Author's Notes: Beats me why I wrote this. Truth is, it's Sunday morning at 1:12am and I was about to go to sleep when I just got this idea. When my mind gets fixed on something I can't take it off of that, guess you can say I have an one-tack-mind. I wont lie, I admit it. And because of that, I had to write it down.
Why Do I Miss You?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's funny how your world just seems to stop when you lose the one you love. I remember the day he left me perfectly. Bastard. He didn't know how much he ment to me. Did he honestly think I could handle it? I guess it's typical behavior coming from "the perfect soldier". You'd think I'd be over him by now, but something inside me just wont let him go.
A cold shiver went down my spine as the wind blew against me. The wind was warm though,.... humid,..... so why did I shiver. Is it because ever since he left I've never really felt warm? Damn it Heero. Why did you have to leave me? Ah.. that's right....
~Flashback~
"Hiya Hee-chan!" I yelled as I wrapped my arms around Heero.
Something was different. Sure sometimes he wouldn't react by hugging back, but for some reason he felt stiff and cold.
"What's wrong?", I asked giving him a look of concern. I swear I've never seen him like this before. The poor guy looked like he was gonna break down crying.
"Duo...."
I frowned not knowing what was going on. "Heero?"
"Duo...I...."
Spit it out! That's what I wanted to yell but, the way he looked made hold my tounge. I felt him back away a little as he pushed my arms away. Whatever he wanted to say couldn't be good.
"I can't Duo."
"Can't what?"
"I can't..... I can't be with you."
Shit. No way was this happening. It was a dream... no a nightmare, right? It felt like a thousand knives were stabbing my heart and slicing it to threads.
"What?"
"I can't."
God Heero! I heard that part already! But why!? For some reason I couldn't open my mouth to say the words.
"You'd be getting in the way... in my way."
"What do you mean?" So I'm just an obstacle? Nothing more nothing less. What about all we did together? What about all I gave? I gave you everything Heero.
"Duo.... I.... I wasn't trained to have emotions. You've become a weakness. I can't have weaknesses. For that, I..... I can't be with you anymore."
~ End of Flashback~
The whole time he said it his head was bowed; I never saw his eyes. I was stupid though, I let him go. How I did it or why I did it still ponders me. It haunts me.
My vision got blurry as I noticed my eyes were watering up. Oh God, not now. I'm not about to cry. I don't cry. Never. I looked out at the water. It's funny how at night, you can't tell the sky apart from the water. It looks like it's all one. Nothing but a dark blackness, like it's missing something, like it has emptiness. A smirk came to my face as I realized it was kinda like what I feel right now.
If you're wondering why I'm looking at water now it's because I'm on a boat. Oh, and not just any boat, a cruise boat. Yeah, I decided, well actually Quatre decided, that I needed to get away for a while. Maybe try to get back to my cheery self again. He says I was all depressed latley. Maybe he's right, but I don't really feel anything so it doesn't matter.
I don't belong here. A ship like this is where lovers come on their honeymoons. But me, I'm here killing myself inside because I let Heero, the most important thing in the world to me, walk out. Out of my life, and apparently out of this world. I tried looking up the former gundam pilot after I relized what a mistake I made, but I couldn't find a single damn thing on him. I lost him forever. Maybe It's a good thing. You know, I can't even recall him telling me once that he loved me. Maybe he never did. Maybe he just wanted to see what it felt like.
A single tear fell down my face as I looked out at the ocean. I didn't wipe it away but I know I would have if I knew that I was being watched that same moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Notes: Hope I don't have too many mistakes in the typing. ::sniffs:: This is sad. I can't believe I actually wrote this and put it out in public. But then again it is 1:12 in the morning and I'm probably not in my right mind. Heck! I'm never in my right mind. Please Review! ::giggles::
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.
Author's Notes: Beats me why I wrote this. Truth is, it's Sunday morning at 1:12am and I was about to go to sleep when I just got this idea. When my mind gets fixed on something I can't take it off of that, guess you can say I have an one-tack-mind. I wont lie, I admit it. And because of that, I had to write it down.
Why Do I Miss You?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's funny how your world just seems to stop when you lose the one you love. I remember the day he left me perfectly. Bastard. He didn't know how much he ment to me. Did he honestly think I could handle it? I guess it's typical behavior coming from "the perfect soldier". You'd think I'd be over him by now, but something inside me just wont let him go.
A cold shiver went down my spine as the wind blew against me. The wind was warm though,.... humid,..... so why did I shiver. Is it because ever since he left I've never really felt warm? Damn it Heero. Why did you have to leave me? Ah.. that's right....
~Flashback~
"Hiya Hee-chan!" I yelled as I wrapped my arms around Heero.
Something was different. Sure sometimes he wouldn't react by hugging back, but for some reason he felt stiff and cold.
"What's wrong?", I asked giving him a look of concern. I swear I've never seen him like this before. The poor guy looked like he was gonna break down crying.
"Duo...."
I frowned not knowing what was going on. "Heero?"
"Duo...I...."
Spit it out! That's what I wanted to yell but, the way he looked made hold my tounge. I felt him back away a little as he pushed my arms away. Whatever he wanted to say couldn't be good.
"I can't Duo."
"Can't what?"
"I can't..... I can't be with you."
Shit. No way was this happening. It was a dream... no a nightmare, right? It felt like a thousand knives were stabbing my heart and slicing it to threads.
"What?"
"I can't."
God Heero! I heard that part already! But why!? For some reason I couldn't open my mouth to say the words.
"You'd be getting in the way... in my way."
"What do you mean?" So I'm just an obstacle? Nothing more nothing less. What about all we did together? What about all I gave? I gave you everything Heero.
"Duo.... I.... I wasn't trained to have emotions. You've become a weakness. I can't have weaknesses. For that, I..... I can't be with you anymore."
~ End of Flashback~
The whole time he said it his head was bowed; I never saw his eyes. I was stupid though, I let him go. How I did it or why I did it still ponders me. It haunts me.
My vision got blurry as I noticed my eyes were watering up. Oh God, not now. I'm not about to cry. I don't cry. Never. I looked out at the water. It's funny how at night, you can't tell the sky apart from the water. It looks like it's all one. Nothing but a dark blackness, like it's missing something, like it has emptiness. A smirk came to my face as I realized it was kinda like what I feel right now.
If you're wondering why I'm looking at water now it's because I'm on a boat. Oh, and not just any boat, a cruise boat. Yeah, I decided, well actually Quatre decided, that I needed to get away for a while. Maybe try to get back to my cheery self again. He says I was all depressed latley. Maybe he's right, but I don't really feel anything so it doesn't matter.
I don't belong here. A ship like this is where lovers come on their honeymoons. But me, I'm here killing myself inside because I let Heero, the most important thing in the world to me, walk out. Out of my life, and apparently out of this world. I tried looking up the former gundam pilot after I relized what a mistake I made, but I couldn't find a single damn thing on him. I lost him forever. Maybe It's a good thing. You know, I can't even recall him telling me once that he loved me. Maybe he never did. Maybe he just wanted to see what it felt like.
A single tear fell down my face as I looked out at the ocean. I didn't wipe it away but I know I would have if I knew that I was being watched that same moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Notes: Hope I don't have too many mistakes in the typing. ::sniffs:: This is sad. I can't believe I actually wrote this and put it out in public. But then again it is 1:12 in the morning and I'm probably not in my right mind. Heck! I'm never in my right mind. Please Review! ::giggles::