Disclaimer: None of the aforementioned characters belong to me. Their similarity to anyone livening or dead is merely coincidental. All the WWF people belong to the WWFE and Associates. The Band Orgy belongs to well Jay, Amir, Bobby, Ryan and Paige. Buffy and Spike belong to Joss Whendon, and Firefly, Cobra Commander, Serpentor, Mindbender, Golobulas, Cobra-La, and the GI Joes belong to Marvel, and Sunbow. I'll have to ask my Boyfriend on that one. Gumby belongs to that weirdo who invented him and Megatron and any other Beast warrior belongs to Hasbro! I don't own a red penny except possibly Tyler, Zuri, And Zatchi my three dogs, Tiga, and Hunter my two cats, and stinky the fish. So that's all you'll get! :P
Therapy With DDP!
By: Amaroqwolf formally known as NightStalker the Insane Raptor on other sights
A cheerfully decorated office, in the office sits DDP. Who likes you and he's going to help you like him. The Band Orgy stands off to the side. Uh yeah, anywhoo he's here today to do some therapy with some WWF Superstars and some not so WWF Superstars.
Announcer: Our first star is......
Drum roll please......
( Rollin cheesy grins)
Stephanie Mcmahon Helmsley....
( Blank stares)
Uh, Vince Mcmahon's slutty baby daughter!!!!
( Blank stares.)
Ah hell, just send her in...hehehe
Stephanie comes into the office looking slutty as usual. DDP Stands up and gives her his million-watt smile. And that's a good thing.
DDP: "Hello Stephy," he says.
SMH: " Stephanie Mcmahon Helmsley, to you peon."
DDP: We see Page flinch and a trickle of blood escape his ears. " right, uh anyways what are you here for?"
SMH: " Therapy, my dad thinks I have a greed problem,"
DDP: " Oh, well will fix that or my name isn't DDP."
SMH: " Your name isn't DDP."
DDP: Blank stare uh, yes it is!
SMH: " But you just said your name wasn't DDP."
DDP: " No, I was just saying that.."
SMH: " No, I specifically heard you say that your name wasn't DDP."
DDP: " I..I...I....Oh dear."
SMH: " YOUR NOT DDP! YOUR SOME LOSER FREAK!"
" DDP collapses into seizures from Stephanie's very grating voice. Can't see how Hunter can stand it.
Hunter: I can't...I use economy strength Earplugs!
Announcer: hey, no plugging on my show!
Hunter: Oh, sorry!!
Announcer: Tis okay, Hunter...Anywhoo! Hey, Jay Bobby, Amir, Paige, Ryan! Can you take the trash out??
The Band runs on stage and drags Stephanie off to a huge Trashcan.
Ryan: Beeeerrr...
Announcer: After the show...
Jay: Smacking Ryan Trash is out.
Announcer: Thank you boys....Our next guest...uh.. Notices Page is still unconscious Oh, dear. Walks over and smacks Page. He remains out cold, dumps water on him he wakes up
DDP: Now that is a good thing... Taps cards Whose next!
Nash: Runs on stage and Power bombs DDP
announcer: Uh.. Blinks why did you do that Nash?
Nash: I thought he was Goldberg!
Announcer: Well, you're next.
Nash: sits down
DDP: Sounding dizzy and...that...is...a....Ggoooood thing.... blinks shakes head and smiles his million watt smile at Nash so you think you are batman!
Nash: Um, no...not anymore....
DDP: but, it says here that you think you are batman...possibly this has to do with your inadequateness in bed.
Nash: WHAT!! I'm gonna kill you!
DDP: hey, now no violence
Nash: I'll show you Violence.... He stands up HALL!!
Scott Hall runs out and the audience swarms him and then return to there seats leaving not a trace of Hall.
DDP: Beat uh....Beat Uh....Beat Okay why are you here then Nash?
Nash: The stupid announcer made me come on here.
DDP: Oh, okay. so you have no medical mental problems?
Nash: Nope.
DDP: then lets do word association game
Nash: Okay.
DDP: Hogan
Nash: Old
DDP: Ric?
Nash: jumps out of his chair WOOOOOOOOOOO
DDP: Still smiling like an idiot Hurricane Helms.
Nash: Idol
DDP: Batman!
Nash: I AM BATMAN!!! Runs off stage making whooshing sounds
Announcer: Oookay....
DDP: Still smiling Yep okay...Beat
Hunter: Will be back after these messages from Zyacona!
Announcer: What's Zyacona??
Hunter: ?? beat
-----
(Commercials)
------
Announcer: And were back....
DDP: talking to Ryan while they drink Beer... I'm telling you if we get rid of this announcer Chick it would be a good thing!
Ryan: Beer?
DDP: yeah, sure will have tons of beer.
Ryan: Beer!
Announcer: Glaring Uh hmmm...
DDP: YIPE!!!
Ryan: Pitifully no beer... Walks back off stage.
Announcer: Still glaring at DDP our next guest is a power hungry freak who thinks he's been blessed with a powerful fist.
Hunter: Oh, I could play the Game on him!
Announcer: HUNTER SHUT UP!!
Hunter: Sorry....
Announcer: sighs William Regal.
William regal struts out and is about to sit down when Edge attacks him from behind. he beats up regal then kicks him off the stage. Christain comes running out and high fives his brother.
Christain: That totally reeked of awesomeness!
Edge: It did dude?
Christain: Totally.
DDP: Odd Speech patterns...
Edge and Christain do a concerto on DDP and walk off stage together.
Hunter: Sprays DDP with a Hose waking him up
DDP: I'm starting to not like this game....
Announcer: To bad!
DDP: Sighs then starts smiling again But this is a good thing.
Announcer: uh, right...Oh okay our next war guest is not a wrestler. One is a man who wears a mask...
Trish: It's Leonardo Dicaprio!!
Announcer: Hey, Nash can you deal with this airhead!!
Nash: runs in grabs Trish is she Catwoman for I am BATMAN!!
Announcer: yeah, She's catwoman!
Nash: Runs off taking Trish with him nananananananananan
Trish: heeeeellllpppp!!
Nash: Distantly batman!!!
Announcer: beat
DDP: Beat
Orgy: Beat
Gumby: Beat
Announcer: O_O!!! GUMBY!!!
Megatron: Beat eats Gumby
Announcer: giggles insanely our next guest is none other then the master Saboteur and spy. Firefly.
Firefly appears in a puff of smoke!
Announcer: Cool!!
DDP: Welcome Firefly Please have a seat...
Firefly: I'd better be getting paid for this, don't know why the twins think I need to see a shrink for this, I'm not insane - just psychotic
DDP: Well, Yes I see...now lets play a word association game. First word Snake
Firefly: Dad, err umm Cobra Commander - this isn't on the record is it?
DDP: People you hate
Firefly: *growls* Serpentor, Mindbender, Golobulas, Pythonus, Cobra-La, the Joes, everyone on this stinking planet...
DDP: *gulps* err umm moving on - Joe
Firefly: Good for nothing American scum, stick their noses in where they don't belong, they outta be shown firsthand what a thermal-nuclear weapon can do-
DDP: eve!
Firefly: Err ummm *blushes* sweet, reincarnation of Venus *glares at DDP* if you say anything about that I will out your heart and make you eat it, then lop off your head and set you on fire
DDP: Scatter project!
Firefly: None o' my business, *shrugs* I's headed by this stupid idiot named Asmodieus, ex decepticon or something, wouldn't mind ripping out his insides for hurting *smiles dreamily* Eve...
DDP: He's insane!
Firefly: Blows up DDP then stalks off to blow something else up
DDP: Piles of ashes and that's a good thing!!
Hunter: runs out and cleans up the ashes and puts them through a re atomizer. DDP Steps out looking good as new I am the Game!
DDP: And that is not a good thing!
Hunter: Looks pissed
Announcer: Our next guest is none other then The Brother of Destruction themselves!
DDP: Oh goody!
Taker: Are you disrespecting me Boy!
DDP: No sir..
Hunter: yes he is mister Undertaker sir!
DDP: I am not!
Taker: Gives DDP the Last ride.
Hunter: NOW THAT WAS A GOOD THING!
Announcer: Taker Kane sit down please
They sit down.
Kane: beat
Taker: Beat
Hunter: Beat
Announcer: beat
Orgy: Beat
Gumby: Slightly slobbered on Beat
Megatron: Eating Gumby again Beat
Announcer: Perhaps someone should wake up the host....
Ryan: beer!
Amir: Good idea! Dumps beer on DDP Who wakes up
Ryan: BEEEEEEEERRRRR!!! Jumps on Amir and starts beating him
Amir: AHHH HE BROKE MY COMPACT!!
Everybody: Beat
DDP: I'm scared...
Announcer: Don't worry we all are.
DDP: Nods Okay, so Undertaker your out for respect does this have something to do with your inadequateness in bed?
Kane: he really wants to get hurt don't he?
Taker: Staring at DDP with murder in his eyes. Suddenly jumps up causing everybody to flinch in fear. Grabs a Microphone and breaks into song R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to Me R-E-S-P-E-C-T
All: Beat
Kane: Uh, Taker...stop your scaring us...
Taker: Starts crying I just want a little respect is all!!
Hunter: that's understandable The Game never gets any respect around here...
Announcer: Look who your married to!
Hunter: Pouts
SMH: From Trashcan outside I Heard that!!
DDP: Well, Undertaker if you want some Respect you could stop beating on everyone...
Taker: You really think that would work?
DDP: I do!
Taker: Wiping eyes. Okay, I'll try that.
DDP: hands Taker a Hankie
Taker: Blowing his nose thanks...Man..
DDP: It's all in a days work.
Kane: Rolls eyes. Oh brother.
DDP: Focusing on Kane Now, why don't we work on your hatred for your face.
Kane: hey, back up off that!
DDP: Now we understand that when you were a small child that a horrible fire burned you're face.
Kane: Growls
DDP: And you never forgave the person who did this.
Kane: Growls even Louder
DDP: Why don't you tell us how this feels?
Kane: uses his magical powers to send DDP to Antarctica!
Edge and Christian: DUDE!!!
Gumby: Hurry Pokey!!
Megatron: eats Gumby and pokey now stay in my stomach Yesssss
Everyone else: Beat
Announcer: Sense when does Kane have real magic powers?
All: Shrug
Announce: Will someone get my host back!
Hurricane Helms flies on stage, In all actuality he is holding his cape out behind him and making Whooshing noises. Nash follows behind him now wearing the Original Batman costume from the 60's show.
HH: Lets fly citizen Batman and save the one known as DDP!
Nash: WOOSH! I AM BATMAN!!
Announcer: Does he know Batman doesn't fly?
All: Shrugs
Announcer: Will be back after those Commercial messages!
Hunter: What commercial messages..
Announcer: the ones coming up right now...
Hunter: uhhh....
Announcer: hits Hunter with a Can of Spam. That Message!!
-----
Commercial
-----
Announcer: And were back....
DDP: To cold the Snowman will eat me....
HH: Seems we saved Citizen DDP just in Time my rubber suited Sidekick!
Nash: I AM BATMAN!!
Announcer: Pours Hot water on DDP our next contestant I mean guest is....uh... Shuffles through papers Hunter who is it?
Hunter: Uh....
Jay: The Hardyz with Lita!!
Announcer: Ah, yes thank you!
Jay: welcome!
The Hardy boys come out followed by Lita. They sit down Lita on Matt's lap.
DDP: Hello.
The Hadys and Lita: Hello
DDP: So Lita what's it like being with two very hot guys...
Jeff and Matt: look weirded out by this question
Lita: I love MATT and Only MATT!!
Hunter: Sure and I love Stephanie!
SMH: HUUUUUNNNTTEEERRR!!!
All: Laugh
Megatron: Drinks some purred Blockheads Yesss that isss sooo true....Mwahahahahah Tarantulas stop experimenting with that mans brain!
Tarry: But, all he thinks about is beer!!!
Ryan: Beer!
All: Beat!
DDP: Clears throat Zo What iz your Guys problem.
Matt: he wants all the attention. Points at Jeff
Jeff: Yer just jealous cause I'm the High Flyer!
Matt: Am NOT!
Jeff: ARE TO!!
Lita: looking annoyed So DDP What are you doing later?
DDP: BOING!
Matt and Jeff: Grab Lita and haul her off stage
DDP: Clears throat Uh, I diagnose them with Sibling rivalry
Zorak: Beat
DDP: Where did the huge praying Mantis come from?
Zorak: Zorkan!
DDP: Oh? What are you hear for?
Megatron: Eats Zorak. I Love praying mantis ... They taste nutty!
Hunter: Falls from closet Where did that freaking huge bug go! I'm gonna to go Game on his A@@!!!
Announcer: Hunter were you eating the Hallucination Mushrooms again??
Hunter: NO!!!
Announcer: Oh, so you did eat them the other night!
Hunter: Yes! I mean NO! I mean....ouchies!
Announcer: Pulverizes Hunter!
Tazz: is that even possible?
Announcer: In this world...anything is possible!
Tazz: But yer like 5'4 and weight like whay115 pounds soaking wet!
Announcer: Wanna put it to a test?
Test: Did you say my name Looks hopefully pitiful
Announcer: NO Bad Test no Match for you!
Test: Awwww... Wanders off
DDP: beat
Hunter: Pulverized
All: Beat
DDP: Taps cards who is our next Guest??
Announcer: our next guest is The Jerky one himself.
DDP: That is a good thing.
Y2J: Walks out holding his two belts.
DDP: Welcome to the show.
Y2J: These are my belts see I won tem fair and square!
Hunter: With the help of my wife.
All: Snicker!
Y2J: I heard that!!!
Stone cold Steve Austin bursts out and started beating on Y2J
SCSA: DIE!!! Kicks him
Hunter: runs up and helps Steve
All: Beat
Announcer: Thought they were enemies.
DDP: So did I.
Hunter and Steve: We both shared a common hate of an object.
Announcer: Jay, Bobby, Amir, Ryan Paige could you remove that Pompous Idiot Please?
The band walks up and drags Y2J off stage. They return and take there seats.
Ryan: Beer!!!
Everyone: Blank stares
Announcer: Uh... beat Uh...Beat Our next Guest is Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her Vampire Friend Spike.
DDP: Vampire???
Announcer: yep.
DDP: this is not a good thing.
The two come out. DDP Pastes on his Million Watt Smile and stands up to greet them.
DDP: Welcome to the show.
Buffy: We were kidnapped.
DDP: Looks confused you were!!
Spike: Bloody right we were!
DDP: looking at Announcer I'm sorry to hear that?
Hunter: Sure ya are Page!
Buffy: That's the Man who kidnapped us!
She runs off stage and we hear screams of terror and pain coming from Hunter.
Announcer: SHE KILLED HUNTER!!
SMH: NOOOOO HE'S THE GAME!!!
Announcer: Looks like the Game is over....
Edge: That so totally reeked of bad Punnyness
Christian: Totally!!
Announcer; HEY HEY STOP THAT! Runs on stage and yanks Spike off of DDP your killing him!
Spike: Bit late mate...he's already dead...
Announcer: And That's a Good thing!
End...
Announcer: Okay, I'll stop it was just getting bad there at the end. Sorry. (Runs from rotten Veggies being thrown) I SAID SORRY!!!! I rot when it comes to Comedy. Walks around handing out beer and pretzels to the still Living and Well Liked Guests so, uh ... I think I'll write a Western Comedy!
Ducks thrown Beer Cans
Ryan: BEEEEEERRRR! Pulls out Machete and gives Chase
Announcer: Oh dear.
Therapy With DDP!
By: Amaroqwolf formally known as NightStalker the Insane Raptor on other sights
A cheerfully decorated office, in the office sits DDP. Who likes you and he's going to help you like him. The Band Orgy stands off to the side. Uh yeah, anywhoo he's here today to do some therapy with some WWF Superstars and some not so WWF Superstars.
Announcer: Our first star is......
Drum roll please......
( Rollin cheesy grins)
Stephanie Mcmahon Helmsley....
( Blank stares)
Uh, Vince Mcmahon's slutty baby daughter!!!!
( Blank stares.)
Ah hell, just send her in...hehehe
Stephanie comes into the office looking slutty as usual. DDP Stands up and gives her his million-watt smile. And that's a good thing.
DDP: "Hello Stephy," he says.
SMH: " Stephanie Mcmahon Helmsley, to you peon."
DDP: We see Page flinch and a trickle of blood escape his ears. " right, uh anyways what are you here for?"
SMH: " Therapy, my dad thinks I have a greed problem,"
DDP: " Oh, well will fix that or my name isn't DDP."
SMH: " Your name isn't DDP."
DDP: Blank stare uh, yes it is!
SMH: " But you just said your name wasn't DDP."
DDP: " No, I was just saying that.."
SMH: " No, I specifically heard you say that your name wasn't DDP."
DDP: " I..I...I....Oh dear."
SMH: " YOUR NOT DDP! YOUR SOME LOSER FREAK!"
" DDP collapses into seizures from Stephanie's very grating voice. Can't see how Hunter can stand it.
Hunter: I can't...I use economy strength Earplugs!
Announcer: hey, no plugging on my show!
Hunter: Oh, sorry!!
Announcer: Tis okay, Hunter...Anywhoo! Hey, Jay Bobby, Amir, Paige, Ryan! Can you take the trash out??
The Band runs on stage and drags Stephanie off to a huge Trashcan.
Ryan: Beeeerrr...
Announcer: After the show...
Jay: Smacking Ryan Trash is out.
Announcer: Thank you boys....Our next guest...uh.. Notices Page is still unconscious Oh, dear. Walks over and smacks Page. He remains out cold, dumps water on him he wakes up
DDP: Now that is a good thing... Taps cards Whose next!
Nash: Runs on stage and Power bombs DDP
announcer: Uh.. Blinks why did you do that Nash?
Nash: I thought he was Goldberg!
Announcer: Well, you're next.
Nash: sits down
DDP: Sounding dizzy and...that...is...a....Ggoooood thing.... blinks shakes head and smiles his million watt smile at Nash so you think you are batman!
Nash: Um, no...not anymore....
DDP: but, it says here that you think you are batman...possibly this has to do with your inadequateness in bed.
Nash: WHAT!! I'm gonna kill you!
DDP: hey, now no violence
Nash: I'll show you Violence.... He stands up HALL!!
Scott Hall runs out and the audience swarms him and then return to there seats leaving not a trace of Hall.
DDP: Beat uh....Beat Uh....Beat Okay why are you here then Nash?
Nash: The stupid announcer made me come on here.
DDP: Oh, okay. so you have no medical mental problems?
Nash: Nope.
DDP: then lets do word association game
Nash: Okay.
DDP: Hogan
Nash: Old
DDP: Ric?
Nash: jumps out of his chair WOOOOOOOOOOO
DDP: Still smiling like an idiot Hurricane Helms.
Nash: Idol
DDP: Batman!
Nash: I AM BATMAN!!! Runs off stage making whooshing sounds
Announcer: Oookay....
DDP: Still smiling Yep okay...Beat
Hunter: Will be back after these messages from Zyacona!
Announcer: What's Zyacona??
Hunter: ?? beat
-----
(Commercials)
------
Announcer: And were back....
DDP: talking to Ryan while they drink Beer... I'm telling you if we get rid of this announcer Chick it would be a good thing!
Ryan: Beer?
DDP: yeah, sure will have tons of beer.
Ryan: Beer!
Announcer: Glaring Uh hmmm...
DDP: YIPE!!!
Ryan: Pitifully no beer... Walks back off stage.
Announcer: Still glaring at DDP our next guest is a power hungry freak who thinks he's been blessed with a powerful fist.
Hunter: Oh, I could play the Game on him!
Announcer: HUNTER SHUT UP!!
Hunter: Sorry....
Announcer: sighs William Regal.
William regal struts out and is about to sit down when Edge attacks him from behind. he beats up regal then kicks him off the stage. Christain comes running out and high fives his brother.
Christain: That totally reeked of awesomeness!
Edge: It did dude?
Christain: Totally.
DDP: Odd Speech patterns...
Edge and Christain do a concerto on DDP and walk off stage together.
Hunter: Sprays DDP with a Hose waking him up
DDP: I'm starting to not like this game....
Announcer: To bad!
DDP: Sighs then starts smiling again But this is a good thing.
Announcer: uh, right...Oh okay our next war guest is not a wrestler. One is a man who wears a mask...
Trish: It's Leonardo Dicaprio!!
Announcer: Hey, Nash can you deal with this airhead!!
Nash: runs in grabs Trish is she Catwoman for I am BATMAN!!
Announcer: yeah, She's catwoman!
Nash: Runs off taking Trish with him nananananananananan
Trish: heeeeellllpppp!!
Nash: Distantly batman!!!
Announcer: beat
DDP: Beat
Orgy: Beat
Gumby: Beat
Announcer: O_O!!! GUMBY!!!
Megatron: Beat eats Gumby
Announcer: giggles insanely our next guest is none other then the master Saboteur and spy. Firefly.
Firefly appears in a puff of smoke!
Announcer: Cool!!
DDP: Welcome Firefly Please have a seat...
Firefly: I'd better be getting paid for this, don't know why the twins think I need to see a shrink for this, I'm not insane - just psychotic
DDP: Well, Yes I see...now lets play a word association game. First word Snake
Firefly: Dad, err umm Cobra Commander - this isn't on the record is it?
DDP: People you hate
Firefly: *growls* Serpentor, Mindbender, Golobulas, Pythonus, Cobra-La, the Joes, everyone on this stinking planet...
DDP: *gulps* err umm moving on - Joe
Firefly: Good for nothing American scum, stick their noses in where they don't belong, they outta be shown firsthand what a thermal-nuclear weapon can do-
DDP: eve!
Firefly: Err ummm *blushes* sweet, reincarnation of Venus *glares at DDP* if you say anything about that I will out your heart and make you eat it, then lop off your head and set you on fire
DDP: Scatter project!
Firefly: None o' my business, *shrugs* I's headed by this stupid idiot named Asmodieus, ex decepticon or something, wouldn't mind ripping out his insides for hurting *smiles dreamily* Eve...
DDP: He's insane!
Firefly: Blows up DDP then stalks off to blow something else up
DDP: Piles of ashes and that's a good thing!!
Hunter: runs out and cleans up the ashes and puts them through a re atomizer. DDP Steps out looking good as new I am the Game!
DDP: And that is not a good thing!
Hunter: Looks pissed
Announcer: Our next guest is none other then The Brother of Destruction themselves!
DDP: Oh goody!
Taker: Are you disrespecting me Boy!
DDP: No sir..
Hunter: yes he is mister Undertaker sir!
DDP: I am not!
Taker: Gives DDP the Last ride.
Hunter: NOW THAT WAS A GOOD THING!
Announcer: Taker Kane sit down please
They sit down.
Kane: beat
Taker: Beat
Hunter: Beat
Announcer: beat
Orgy: Beat
Gumby: Slightly slobbered on Beat
Megatron: Eating Gumby again Beat
Announcer: Perhaps someone should wake up the host....
Ryan: beer!
Amir: Good idea! Dumps beer on DDP Who wakes up
Ryan: BEEEEEEEERRRRR!!! Jumps on Amir and starts beating him
Amir: AHHH HE BROKE MY COMPACT!!
Everybody: Beat
DDP: I'm scared...
Announcer: Don't worry we all are.
DDP: Nods Okay, so Undertaker your out for respect does this have something to do with your inadequateness in bed?
Kane: he really wants to get hurt don't he?
Taker: Staring at DDP with murder in his eyes. Suddenly jumps up causing everybody to flinch in fear. Grabs a Microphone and breaks into song R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to Me R-E-S-P-E-C-T
All: Beat
Kane: Uh, Taker...stop your scaring us...
Taker: Starts crying I just want a little respect is all!!
Hunter: that's understandable The Game never gets any respect around here...
Announcer: Look who your married to!
Hunter: Pouts
SMH: From Trashcan outside I Heard that!!
DDP: Well, Undertaker if you want some Respect you could stop beating on everyone...
Taker: You really think that would work?
DDP: I do!
Taker: Wiping eyes. Okay, I'll try that.
DDP: hands Taker a Hankie
Taker: Blowing his nose thanks...Man..
DDP: It's all in a days work.
Kane: Rolls eyes. Oh brother.
DDP: Focusing on Kane Now, why don't we work on your hatred for your face.
Kane: hey, back up off that!
DDP: Now we understand that when you were a small child that a horrible fire burned you're face.
Kane: Growls
DDP: And you never forgave the person who did this.
Kane: Growls even Louder
DDP: Why don't you tell us how this feels?
Kane: uses his magical powers to send DDP to Antarctica!
Edge and Christian: DUDE!!!
Gumby: Hurry Pokey!!
Megatron: eats Gumby and pokey now stay in my stomach Yesssss
Everyone else: Beat
Announcer: Sense when does Kane have real magic powers?
All: Shrug
Announce: Will someone get my host back!
Hurricane Helms flies on stage, In all actuality he is holding his cape out behind him and making Whooshing noises. Nash follows behind him now wearing the Original Batman costume from the 60's show.
HH: Lets fly citizen Batman and save the one known as DDP!
Nash: WOOSH! I AM BATMAN!!
Announcer: Does he know Batman doesn't fly?
All: Shrugs
Announcer: Will be back after those Commercial messages!
Hunter: What commercial messages..
Announcer: the ones coming up right now...
Hunter: uhhh....
Announcer: hits Hunter with a Can of Spam. That Message!!
-----
Commercial
-----
Announcer: And were back....
DDP: To cold the Snowman will eat me....
HH: Seems we saved Citizen DDP just in Time my rubber suited Sidekick!
Nash: I AM BATMAN!!
Announcer: Pours Hot water on DDP our next contestant I mean guest is....uh... Shuffles through papers Hunter who is it?
Hunter: Uh....
Jay: The Hardyz with Lita!!
Announcer: Ah, yes thank you!
Jay: welcome!
The Hardy boys come out followed by Lita. They sit down Lita on Matt's lap.
DDP: Hello.
The Hadys and Lita: Hello
DDP: So Lita what's it like being with two very hot guys...
Jeff and Matt: look weirded out by this question
Lita: I love MATT and Only MATT!!
Hunter: Sure and I love Stephanie!
SMH: HUUUUUNNNTTEEERRR!!!
All: Laugh
Megatron: Drinks some purred Blockheads Yesss that isss sooo true....Mwahahahahah Tarantulas stop experimenting with that mans brain!
Tarry: But, all he thinks about is beer!!!
Ryan: Beer!
All: Beat!
DDP: Clears throat Zo What iz your Guys problem.
Matt: he wants all the attention. Points at Jeff
Jeff: Yer just jealous cause I'm the High Flyer!
Matt: Am NOT!
Jeff: ARE TO!!
Lita: looking annoyed So DDP What are you doing later?
DDP: BOING!
Matt and Jeff: Grab Lita and haul her off stage
DDP: Clears throat Uh, I diagnose them with Sibling rivalry
Zorak: Beat
DDP: Where did the huge praying Mantis come from?
Zorak: Zorkan!
DDP: Oh? What are you hear for?
Megatron: Eats Zorak. I Love praying mantis ... They taste nutty!
Hunter: Falls from closet Where did that freaking huge bug go! I'm gonna to go Game on his A@@!!!
Announcer: Hunter were you eating the Hallucination Mushrooms again??
Hunter: NO!!!
Announcer: Oh, so you did eat them the other night!
Hunter: Yes! I mean NO! I mean....ouchies!
Announcer: Pulverizes Hunter!
Tazz: is that even possible?
Announcer: In this world...anything is possible!
Tazz: But yer like 5'4 and weight like whay115 pounds soaking wet!
Announcer: Wanna put it to a test?
Test: Did you say my name Looks hopefully pitiful
Announcer: NO Bad Test no Match for you!
Test: Awwww... Wanders off
DDP: beat
Hunter: Pulverized
All: Beat
DDP: Taps cards who is our next Guest??
Announcer: our next guest is The Jerky one himself.
DDP: That is a good thing.
Y2J: Walks out holding his two belts.
DDP: Welcome to the show.
Y2J: These are my belts see I won tem fair and square!
Hunter: With the help of my wife.
All: Snicker!
Y2J: I heard that!!!
Stone cold Steve Austin bursts out and started beating on Y2J
SCSA: DIE!!! Kicks him
Hunter: runs up and helps Steve
All: Beat
Announcer: Thought they were enemies.
DDP: So did I.
Hunter and Steve: We both shared a common hate of an object.
Announcer: Jay, Bobby, Amir, Ryan Paige could you remove that Pompous Idiot Please?
The band walks up and drags Y2J off stage. They return and take there seats.
Ryan: Beer!!!
Everyone: Blank stares
Announcer: Uh... beat Uh...Beat Our next Guest is Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her Vampire Friend Spike.
DDP: Vampire???
Announcer: yep.
DDP: this is not a good thing.
The two come out. DDP Pastes on his Million Watt Smile and stands up to greet them.
DDP: Welcome to the show.
Buffy: We were kidnapped.
DDP: Looks confused you were!!
Spike: Bloody right we were!
DDP: looking at Announcer I'm sorry to hear that?
Hunter: Sure ya are Page!
Buffy: That's the Man who kidnapped us!
She runs off stage and we hear screams of terror and pain coming from Hunter.
Announcer: SHE KILLED HUNTER!!
SMH: NOOOOO HE'S THE GAME!!!
Announcer: Looks like the Game is over....
Edge: That so totally reeked of bad Punnyness
Christian: Totally!!
Announcer; HEY HEY STOP THAT! Runs on stage and yanks Spike off of DDP your killing him!
Spike: Bit late mate...he's already dead...
Announcer: And That's a Good thing!
End...
Announcer: Okay, I'll stop it was just getting bad there at the end. Sorry. (Runs from rotten Veggies being thrown) I SAID SORRY!!!! I rot when it comes to Comedy. Walks around handing out beer and pretzels to the still Living and Well Liked Guests so, uh ... I think I'll write a Western Comedy!
Ducks thrown Beer Cans
Ryan: BEEEEEERRRR! Pulls out Machete and gives Chase
Announcer: Oh dear.