My Dearest, Sweetest Emma,
I apologize. I haven't written in a while and it's because Aunt Regina and I have been at odds lately. We keep arguing over the little things- it's silly.
I hope you're well, my love. From what I've heard you seem to be fulfilling your role as Queen exceedingly well. Many of Regina's cabinet members have told me they've heard rumors of our population migrating to your kingdom because of your kindness.
I suppose I should tell you that I'll be leaving for a quick inspection of our naval ships soon. I'm not certain how long it will take, but I know I should be to Misthaven by autumn's end. I'd love to be able to catch one last fall sunset with you- to glimpse the way the golden glow of the sun catches in your hair. It would be a beautiful sight.
I miss you so badly it hurts. I know its quite cliché to say it, but I can't sleep, I find myself skipping meals, and even the most mundane tasks are difficult to focus on.
I'll see you soon.
With all of my love,
Killian
Snow trickles down from the skies above and coats the Earth in a soft blanket.
It's the first snow of the year and it's no less magical than it was last year or the year prior. Except, this year Emma is the Queen of Misthaven when she stands on her bedroom balcony watching the first snowfall.
She wears a blanket around her shoulders and contemplates just how much life has changed over these past few months while she traces the lines of cursive on the letter in her hand.
Her coronation took place a short time ago and every day since then has been utter chaos, but she's found herself able to breathe when she takes little moments like these- standing on her balcony watching the world move.
Emma thinks fondly of her coronation.
Mostly, she remembers Killian. He'd left the castle for a short while after admitting his feelings for her but he came back just so he could stand in the front row. She stared at him, drawing strength from the warmth in his eyes, and with a steady breath, she fulfilled the requirements of her coronation ceremony.
Afterwards, Killian wanted to dance for hours, and she would have let him were it not for her duty to make sure everyone was having a nice time. Several diplomats came and wanted to talk her ear off and she found herself longing for just a moment with her prince.
So, she excused herself from the ballroom and ventured outside to find him standing in the middle of the garden, gazing up at the stars.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
He shook his head. "Just waiting for you, Your Majesty."
Emma rolled her eyes as she came to stop before him. He extended his hand and she took it. Then, they went for a walk.
And oh, how she longs for the chance to just go for a walk in the garden again.
The cold of winter bites at her skin and she feels numb, so she returns inside and closes the balcony door.
Emma takes a breath and her eyes begin to burn as she settles Killian's letter back onto her nightstand. She misses him so much she often forgets how to breathe.
She's sent him several letters since she received this one. Emma finds the best time to write them is when she's restless at night. Mostly, she thinks of Killian, worrying that even after what they went through to get to this place, he's just like her parents, or Geppetto, or Granny.
A pang of sadness washes over her and she sits on the edge of her bed, staring at the door, wishing someone would come.
It's silly, but sometimes she dreams of the castle being full again. Even with Granny, Geppetto, Red, and Pinocchio living here it never felt full. She wants there to be music in the ballroom and laughter in the halls.
She wants a family that isn't about to break.
My Star Chaser,
I wish you would come back to Misthaven sooner. The sunsets are so beautiful and the leaves keep falling as it gets even colder here.
There's so much we need to talk about. I'd write you pages upon pages of every detail, but I don't know if you're even getting my letters.
Something is happening. I can't write what it is exactly because I worry about my letters not quite reaching you without being read by other eyes. It's something I've worried might happen for a long time. I'm afraid and I've never felt more alone. So Killian, if you can, come to Misthaven as soon as you can.
Follow the stars to me, my star chaser. Please.
I love you.
Emma
Emma walks out into the garden and stares at the snowflakes as they trickle to the ground. She catches some in her hands and smiles gently. Her breath is visible in the air before her and she makes marks in the snow with her feet.
It's the perfect first snow.
She remembers with perfect clarity playing in the snow when she was younger. Granny would sit on the porch, waiting for her to freeze, and then she'd beckon with the promise of hot cocoa and a warm fire.
Once, when she was about twelve, Prince Killian came to visit with his aunt Regina during the winter and they had a snowball fight right near her father's favorite tree, a weeping willow.
The very weeping willow she'd laid beneath, resting her head on Killian's lap while he read stories to her from their favorite books.
Her heart longs for those days. Now, everything feels just as cold as the chill in the air.
She hears something, a jingling sound, rushing toward her from the porch of the castle. She assumes it's one of the dwarves with something to say, or one of her guards after discovering her missing, so she doesn't turn around.
"I'm just taking a walk," she calls out. "I'll be back inside in a few minutes."
It comes closer and closer, until she feels a twist in her belly as she spins around with her fingers hovering over her hip where her dagger rests secretly.
Her eyes blow wide at the sight before her.
"Killian." Emma breathes.
He looks like he's been through a war. Tired, worn, and dirty. His beard is thick and his eyelids sag. But his smile is as bright as it's ever been and he nods his head.
"Hi, darling."
Emma goes to him with tears in her eyes and grabs him by one lapel to yank him to her. She slides that hand against his cheek as she kisses him and he eagerly reciprocates her advances.
After a moment of kissing in the snow, she pulls back and hugs him instead, her arms squeezed tighter around him than her eyes are shut.
"Where did you go?" she asks.
"Further than I ever wanted to be from you." Killian replies with his lips against the shell of her ear. "Further than I'll ever go again."
He holds her closer and Emma only lets go of him after a few more long moments. She stares at him and tries to put together something to say, but she can't.
"I missed you," she manages to say.
He raises his eyebrows playfully. "I thought you thought my face was awful?"
Emma smacks him and he grins.
Killian nods. "I missed you too. And I won't go anywhere for a while. I promise."
Emma smiles softly and reaches for his hand. "Let's go inside. We have a lot to catch up on."
She starts to walk back towards the castle, but Killian stops her, saying, "I'm sorry I didn't reply to you letters. I didn't get them until I returned to the castle."
"It's okay," she tells him. Emma squeezes his hand. "You're here now."
Killian stares at her worriedly. "What was the something? From your last letter? It seemed important."
Emma's heart skips a beat and then sinks to the pit of her stomach. She shakes her head. "Um… Granny." She pauses and lowers her gaze to the ground. "She passed away about a month ago."
Immediately, he frowns. "Oh, Emma, I'm sorry. Had I known- I would've been here sooner, Sweetheart."
She shakes her head, managing to smile. "It's okay. It was time. Before she passed, all she would talk about was getting to see Geppetto soon."
For a moment, Killian seems to contemplate the weight Granny's passing had. But how could he know the weight of the loss she feels? How could he know that every minute alone in this castle has felt worse than the loss of her parents?
He reaches up to caress her cheek with his calloused fingertips. She shivers, the mixture of the cold winter air combining with the gentle feel of him touching her cheek.
Emma's eyes flutter closed and she releases a shaky breath. She's done a lot of thinking as she's waited for him and all of it has led to the words that tumble past her lips.
"Killian, if we're supposed to be together," Emma pauses briefly. Her tongue darts out to wet her cracked lips. "We should get married."
"Come again?"
Her eyes open. She stares at Killian, watching as his hand falls away from her face. Snow gathers in his messy, dark hair. He appears surprised, confused, and breathless all at once.
"You're always gone," Emma explains. She shakes her head. "I spend my time between meetings wishing you were here. And when you are here, we never seem to be able to spend enough time together." She stares at him. "And I'm here, alone, wondering when someone will come save me from this because as much as I try to save myself, I can't."
It all makes sense in her head- the picture of a family she'll be able to have someday. With Killian. With him here, it's already so much warmer.
Her heart swells and an easy smile fills her lips. She's breathless as she stands there in front of him. She grabs his hands.
"Marry me, Killian."
He winces and hesitates enough that Emma's heart races and her stomach twists with doubt and regret.
"Emma-" he sighs softly. "I-"
She releases his hands and worriedly paces away from him. She stares up at the snow falling from the clouds in the sky and folds her arms against her chest.
"No, love," Killian says, hurrying after her. "That's not it." He reaches up and runs his fingers through his hair. "I've just come back to the castle- straight from sea. I haven't slept in what feels like weeks. I'd like…" He pauses, sighing heavy. "I'd like to clean the grime from my skin and get a hot meal first."
Emma closes her eyes and nods. "Right. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Come on. It's cold."
"Why am I your Star Chaser?" Killian asks as he and Emma sit in Emma's bedroom.
He's curled up in her bed while Emma brushes her hair sitting cross-legged at his feet.
Emma smiles softly at him. "Because you chased the stars to come home to me once and I know you'd do it again."
He grins. "Aye. I would do it again."
She nervously bites on her lip and lowers her brush to her lap. He knows she's thinking about what happened earlier in the garden.
"Emma," he says, drawing her attention back to him. "I love you."
She sighs softly. "I love you too." Emma climbs up the bed and kisses him softly. "Do you want me to have a bed made up for you?"
Killian shakes his head. "No, darling, I'll stay. If it's alright with you."
Emma seems hesitant before she nods in consent. She peels back her covers and slides into the bed beside him.
In the semi-darkness, they stare at one another.
It's been quite a long time since they've been in the same room.
The last time he saw her was the night of her coronation, as they walked in the garden and all he could think about was how badly he wished he could spend the rest of his life holding her hand.
Unfortunately, come the morning, he got up earlier than anticipated and was off to his kingdom before he got to say goodbye.
He's not naive. He knows why she wants to get married. They've known each other since he was ten years old. While their romance is new, their friendship isn't.
Her life is court and meeting with her people in between pauses to eat and sleep. She writes letters to him, but she doesn't have a lot of friendships. She may be a generous host come the time for her to be so, but it doesn't necessarily mean she wants to spend her time with the people her parents were friends with.
He is her best friend, and she's his.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks quietly.
Emma shakes her head. She doesn't say anything, just presses her hand against his and takes a soft breath. He grabs for her fingers and tangles his with hers.
"We went quite a distance. Sailing. There wasn't much rest. The ship nearly went down twice in storms that came through."
Emma, the Queen of Misthaven, stares back at him, eyes wide and lips parted.
He's so bloody lucky, even if he is the prince of his own kingdom. He would trade it all to be with her. For even a chance to run his fingers through her hair, to hear her voice, to see her smile.
"Every night I wished I could see you," Killian tells her. "I wished I could hear your voice. That would be enough to keep me going. I don't really know how the ship I was merely observing was sent away for so long, but it was. When I came back to shore, I went to my castle and found your letters piled up on my desk. I read every one. Then I left straight away."
"It sounds like it was an adventure," Emma says quietly. "I've always wanted to go sailing."
Killian hums. "Perhaps sometime in the summer, we'll go somewhere."
A smile finds Emma's lips. Her eyes twinkle and dimples pop in her cheeks. "Where?"
"Anywhere. You're the Queen of Misthaven, if you've forgotten. You can go wherever you'd like, whenever you so please."
Emma's smile fades slightly. She takes a breath and sighs. "It's busy constantly. Sometimes I just want to block the world out for a day."
"I understand how that is," Killian commiserates. He rubs a hand over his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Regina's insistent that I go back soon, but I'm not leaving your side until I'm ready."
Emma hums happily. "Thank you."
Killian removes his hand from his face and studies Emma's face. He traces his thumb across her knuckles. "I love you with all of my heart."
Emma smiles at his words. "That much?"
He sighs happily. "You won me with your snark and you keep me with it."
She laughs.
It's all he's craved since leaving all those months ago and he isn't let down by the way her chest bounces with her giggles. She bites down on her lip when her laughter stops with crinkles resting by the corners of her eyes.
"Maybe we should get married." Killian says casually, a teasing arch to his eyebrow.
Emma's joy fades swiftly and she gives him a hard look as elbows him in his chest.
"Ouch! What's that for?" he chuckles.
Emma continues with the look and if she could fold her arms, she probably would. Instead, she just turns onto her back and sighs heavily.
"You know what that was for."
Killian hums. "You were vulnerable earlier today and it feels like I've declined your offer to be vulnerable. Is that it?"
For a few moments, she doesn't move or say anything.
He stares at her profile in the almost dark of the bedroom. Sometimes he thinks about how lucky he is, to be courting the Queen of Misthaven. To be allowed to sleep beside her.
"I'm not… saying no," he says cautiously. "I'm just saying let's talk about it in the morning."
Emma turns on her side, facing away from him, and Killian resists the urge he has to play with her hair.
He closes his eyes and sighs through his nose. "Back for just a few hours and you're already angry with me." Killian opens his eyes to stare up at the top of Emma's bed. "I suppose it's good practice."
"Good practice for what?"
He smiles wryly and tosses his head to the side to stare at the back of Emma's. "For when we're married."
It takes a few moments, but she turns back to face him. Her smile is suppressed by a forced frown and she lifts her eyebrows at him.
"Are you saying yes?"
Killian leans forward to kiss her forehead. "I'm saying we'll talk about it in the morning. I just don't want to go to sleep knowing you're upset, love."
When he pulls back, she seems more at ease. She curls into him and rests her head beneath his chin while the palm of her hand presses against his heart.
"I'm glad you're home." Emma whispers.
He drags his hand up her arm and turns his head to kiss her head. His heart feels heavy when it beats.
"I'm glad to be home."
Hey Beautiful,
Come meet me in the garden.
-Killian
She can't help from smiling as she examines the note. Emma's teeth dig into her lower lip and she yanks the blankets from her body so she can get dressed.
It's snowing when she walks outside, a beautiful sort of snow where the sun shines just slightly against the bright white tufts on the ground.
Snowflakes stick in her hair and on her cloak as she walks.
Killian sticks out like a sore thumb, standing in the center of the gardens with one of Pinocchio's borrowed suits on. His hair is brushed back and he has a sweet smile on his face.
He's worse off than her, with snow catching in his hair in clumps.
"Hey," she breathes. Her heart rate is already high, considering she isn't sure what's going on, though she has a fairly good idea.
"Good morning, Your Majesty." Killian says.
He smiles at her as she comes to stand before him, and then he's down on his knees in the cold snow, grinning up at her as if none of it matters.
"I said we'd talk about it in the morning, so…"
He laughs to himself and pulls his hand out of his pocket, revealing a ring in his palm. Killian's eyes find hers again.
She lifts an eyebrow. "You wanted to talk. So, talk, Your Highness."
He breathes a laugh and bobs his head before considering his words. "We spend far too much time apart than together, and this isn't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, but I want the home we've found in each other for the rest of my life."
Tears burn behind her eyes at his words. He wants this just as much as she does.
"So, Queen Emma of Misthaven, who once called me an arrogant pig and claimed she hated the look of my face... will you look past all of that?"
Emma laughs happily, throwing her head back for a moment. She nods. "Yes. I don't think you have a hideous face."
Killian winks at her. "Finally." He pauses and sobers up just a little. "Will you marry me, Emma?"
She sighs happily. "I thought you'd never ask."
