Author's Note: Hello, hypothetical reader! This is my first published fanfiction. It takes place before season 3, so everyone is still at Beacon. (I'm a little late, but this was written a while ago. I just never got around to posting it.) This isn't meant to be taken seriously; it's just my attempt at lighthearted humor.
The door to team RWBY's dorm room slammed open, making way for a fuming heiress and a red-clad girl who was nearly dragging the other down in her attempts to beg for forgiveness. Blake followed close behind, the ever-present voice of reason (whether she wanted to be or not). A few moments later, a battered and completely exhausted Yang appeared, only to collapse straight into bed. Within moments, snoring filled the room. It was loud enough to make a full-sized bear jealous, but it did nothing to drown out the sound of Weiss's voice.
"Absolutely not!"
"I said sorry!"
"Oh, you said sorry! Well, I'll just have to forgive you, then. That definitely made up for the fact that you almost killed me."
"Let it go, Weiss. She was just trying to help." Usually, Blake would've left the talking to Yang, but a glance at her partner's bunk confirmed that she'd be running solo on this one.
"How?! How in the world was that even remotely helpful?!"
"It was an accident! You have to believe me, Weiss!"
"Fine. Then do me a favor and explain to me how one can accidently pour lemonade on a stab wound!"
"It just happened! I didn't mean to!"
"Where did you even get-"
"ENOUGH!" The room was shocked into silence by the faunus's shout. (Except for Yang, who snored away, oblivious to the argument around her.) Blake pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. "You two have been going back and forth for the last six hours." This statement was accompanied by a glare at both of the younger girls. Weiss huffed and looked away, while Ruby occupied herself with her sand-covered boots.
"So, we are going to end this right now, like adults." Before Ruby could say anything, Blake cut her off. "Ruby, being an adult is more than drinking milk." Blake ignored the pout and continued. "Now, Ruby is going to tell her version of what happened and Weiss. Isn't. Going. To say. Anything. Are we clear?" A pair of crossed arms said otherwise, but she ignored them. "Ruby, tell us what happened."
"Yes! I love telling stories!" Ruby exclaimed. She waved her hands in front of her as if casting an illusion and lowered her voice to a level where Weiss and Blake could barely hear. The two couldn't stop themselves from leaning closer, which Ruby acknowledged with a barely noticeable grin. "It all started on a cool day in spring when I was summoned to Professor Ozpin's office..."
"Ruby, we know this part already. Stop stalling and get to the point." Weiss's interruption shattered the spell and earned her a pout from the scythe-wielder. Crossing her arms, Weiss refused to budge.
"But Weiss..." she whined as she put on her best puppy-eyes expression. "You can't tell a story without exposition. That's like... That's like eating vanilla ice cream without strawberries!"
Weiss turned her head to avoid the wide eyes that were boring into her soul. Ruby wanted to pull out her secret weapon, huh? Well, two could play at that game. Weiss took a deep breath, then looked Ruby straight in the eyes. Bringing forth all the steel and iciness she could muster, which was nothing short of terrifying, she let lose a single word. "Ruby..."
At this point, the younger girl would usually run for cover, but she was actually innocent this time. Well, okay, she did pour lemonade on Weiss's wound, but it was an accident! Determined not to stand this kind of injustice, her puppy-dog stare stood firm against the icy onslaught.
For a moment, the air literally shimmered between them. Never before had the two used their mighty powers against each other at the same time, but the day had finally come. An age-old conflict would see its end. It was warmth against ice, innocence against authority, red against white, and silver against blue. One final battle would determine who would triumph, and who would surrender in shame. It was the battle that would shape the entire world. This battle could be- no, it was -the single most important moment in the history of Remnant!
Blake yawned.
The two girls stared, not moving a muscle, as the energy between them built exponentially. The silence stretched on, and even Yang's snoring got quieter as the two got closer and closer to the breaking point. Then, just before all hell broke loose, Blake decided that she would rather die some other day. She casually waved her hand between the two, breaking their focus and preventing the apocalypse. Ruby and Weiss collapsed heavily onto the floor, unable to find the strength to stand.
Blake eyed the partners with mild concern. Ruby was shivering like she'd been sent to the arctic in a swimsuit. Blake could have sworn that the tips of her fingers were blue. Weiss, on the other hand, wore a dopey smile and looked around the room in wonder. Blake decided to focus on Ruby first, grabbing the girl's blankets and tossing them onto their owner. Then she turned her attention to the heiress.
Okay. Frostbite, I can deal with. But what exactly do I do about... that?
Hoping it was just a temporary problem and that there was no way she could be sued for it, Blake waved her hand in front of Weiss's face. Nothing. "Weiss," she called. Blue eyes slid over amber ones without so much as slowing. "Weiss," she repeated, snapping her fingers. This time, Weiss managed to maintain eye contact, with difficulty.
Blake gave a rare smile, relieved to get a response. That relief was shortly shattered into thousands of pieces as Weiss's eyes lit up and she excitedly squealed, "Oh my dust. BLAKE, YOU'RE A UNICORN!"
Dead. She was so dead.
"Blake, why didn't you say anything?"
There were kamikaze pilots with a better chance of living.
"Is it because you were afraid of what I'd think? Well, there was no need for you to worry. I will have you know that I love unicorns."
Even if Weiss recovered, she wouldn't allow anyone to live to tell this tale.
"Whoa, is that desk made of chocolate? I love chocolate."
Deciding that it would be best to enjoy her last day, Blake grabbed a book and nimbly leapt onto Yang's bunk (her own was taken by said brawler). As she made herself comfortable, a thought suddenly occurred to her.
Weiss would want revenge after being reduced to this. It wouldn't matter who was truly at fault, only that someone paid the price. Ruby was the obvious target, but Weiss secretly had a soft spot for the other girl. Blake was another story. While the relationship between the two had been strengthened after the White Fang incident, it was nothing compared to the bond between partners. But, if Blake had some way of ensuring that the heiress kept her distance, say, blackmail material… well, Weiss would need to find someone else to vent her anger out on.
Smirking, Blake took out her scroll and set it to record.
For the first time in ages, Yang woke up to the pleasant chirping of birds. There was no ear-splitting whistle, no whiny yelling, no resounding thump when a certain someone tripped over her own feet, and no insistent tapping of heels. Instead, it was a nice, peaceful morning. Sunlight was gently streaming through the window, and everything was perfect.
Yang took a few seconds to savor the moment, then leaped out of bed with a dazzling smile, ready to start her day.
"Good morning team RW-" Yang took in the scene before her. Ruby and Weiss were both on the floor, sound asleep. They were covered by Ruby's blanket, but she could see that they were still wearing their fighting clothes. That was weird, sure, but what rendered Yang speechless was the fact that the ice queen was resting her pretty little head on Ruby's chest. The white-haired vixen was making moves on her innocent sister!
Before Yang could step forward and drag the heiress off Ruby, Blake cleared her throat. Yang turned and was unsurprised to see the cat faunus standing next to her. (You get used to it after a while.) The fire within her instantly calmed. It had learned that it was best to listen when Blake decided to get involved. So, when Blake inclined her head to the two sleeping girls in a way that said 'look closer', Yang did as she was told.
Sure enough, she had missed something in her rush to defend her little sister from the wicked witch. Ruby was smiling in her sleep and holding the white-haired girl close. She looked almost... content.
Well, this changed everything.
Yang looked over to her partner, and her partner looked over to her. Then, with a mischievous glint in her eye, Blake stepped aside to reveal a bucket of ice-cold water. The grin that spread across Yang's face was without equal, and the screeches that followed could've shattered stone.
Looks like that blackmail would come in handy after all.
A/N: In case you want a little background, team RWBY was sent on a mission to a beach to fight a sea-grimm and save the people there. Yang had to take the brunt of the fighting, relying heavily on her semblance. Still, Weiss's aura was depleted and she took a stab wound. (Nothing life-threatening, but not a scratch, either.) After pulling off an incredibly dramatic finishing move, RBY rushed to Weiss's aid. Blake served as the medic and sent Ruby to get fresh water (mostly to get rid of the younger girl; she was panicking and needed a distraction). After desperately blurring from place to place and finding nothing, Ruby came across a lemonade stand. (Yes, the old shopkeeper owns that, too.) Deciding that it was better than nothing, Ruby returned and ended up spilling it over Weiss's wound. A six-hour flight back to Beacon gave Weiss a lot of time to… express her dissatisfaction. I was going to describe all of this in the story (fleshing it out and emphasizing the funny parts), but then the staring contest idea came out of nowhere, and I didn't see a way to incorporate both without making it unnecessarily long. So, what do you think?