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"Lily!" He ran, heart pounding frantically, up to Gryffindor tower.
"LILY!" He yelled again as he shoved open the portrait hole. Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting on the couches next to the fire as he burst in. Sirius half stood up as James rushed over and shoved him back into the seat. His hair was dishevelled and eyes frantic.
"Where is she?!" He half yelled. "Where did she go?!"
Silently, Remus pointed to the boy's staircase. James, needing no further invitation, leapt up the stairs, three at a time to reach his dormitory. The whole room was staring at him in shock but he saw nothing. Not the glances his friend's exchanged, not the first years whispering behind their hands and nudging their friends and not the rest of the house, who were staring blatantly at him as he tore around the room. He only saw the door to his dormitory. He tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge.
"LILY!" He yelled.
He cast the unlocking charm and tried it again. It still didn't move. He threw his whole weight against it again and again until his shoulder was aching from the bashing. Each time he hit the door the thud was accompanied by his yelling,
"LILY!" Thud. "LILY!" Thud. "LILY!" Thud. Thud. Thud.
Finally he slipped to sit at the base of the door, his face in his hands. He continued to whisper her name as a last resort to somehow get into his room. He noticed at the edge of his vision the room staring at him again and a movement that he recognised as Remus's before the door behind him blasted open. He scrambled on to his feet and saw Remus hastily putting his wand away but that didn't matter. James now had a feeling of dread settling deep within him. There were no lights on in the room. Everything looked fine but somehow, he knew something was wrong.
"Lily?" He said unsteadily. He crept into the room and saw over in the corner, a figure, sprawled on the floor. He leapt over his bed in a single bound.
"LILY!" he bellowed.
He reached her side and shook her slightly, afraid of hurting her. When she didn't respond, he carefully moved her hair from her face.
"Lily…?" He whispered as he raised her shoulders to lie on his lap. "Lily… Please answer me… Lily… Don't leave me here. Lily. Wake up…"
James moved her hands and looked under her eyelids, checked for a pulse before shaking her again, more forceful than the last time.
"Lily!" He said more insistently. "Lily, Wake up! Don't… Don't do this. Come on. Just wake up… Wake up… Please…" He vaguely registered the room getting blurry before realising that his eyes were clouded with tears. "Lily… Babe… this isn't funny. Ha-ha. Joke's over now… Wake up and tell me off for making a mess. Just wake up. Please… Wake up… I can't live without you… Lily, I love you."
He pressed his face into her neck, trying to stem the flow of tears that were steadily poring down his face. Her head flopped to the side like a rag doll. He placed his hand behind it as he kissed her face slowly, whispering, "Wake up… Please. Wake up."
He leant against her and let go. He cried and whimpered into her shoulder. He sobbed until his throat burned and his eyes were dry. However long it was, an hour, a minute, a day, he sat there, crying for her.
After what seemed hours, he raised his head and smoothed out her hair. He laid her onto the floor in a respectable position before standing up and looking around.
Her wand sat on the floor next to his bed. He went over and picked it up, pocketing it for reasons he didn't know. An envelope on his bedside table caught his eyes. He stepped over to it and picked it up. On the front in her perfect, cursive writing was his name. His fingers trembled as he turned it over and shakily broke the seal. Inside was a letter. He pulled it out and sat down on his bed slowly as he started to read the letter.
Dear James,
By the time you find me and this letter, it will be too late. You need to know though, it isn't your fault. It isn't. Things in my life were just… Complicated…
You were the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me. The moments we shared together… They will be with me forever. And I did love you… I had fun with you and your friends… You were perfect. Too perfect for me I sometimes thought.
But… when you left me alone… To go hang with the guys or to go to a detention… I missed you… even when I wasn't with you for a second… My heart felt like it was breaking into pieces. I couldn't breathe when you weren't around. I depended on you far too much.
James… I couldn't tell you but…I felt so alone. I couldn't tell you… Just in case you didn't accept it. But James… I am or was by the time you read this… I am pregnant. But… You aren't the father.
I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do. This thing was growing inside of me and I didn't know what to do. One of those times when you just weren't there, I gave in… I slept with Severus. I'm sorry. He came to me, was sympathetic to me. He listened and he held me when I cried. I couldn't say no. I wasn't strong without you by my side.
I'm so so sorry…
I couldn't live with myself after. And… this is what has come to… I am sorry…
I really do love you James… Maybe if we are lucky… We'll meet again in another life and have another go at… us.
I'll love you forever…
Love,
Your Lily Flower.
He couldn't breathe. The room was spinning and the last thing he thought before he pulled Lily's wand out was, "I would've named him Harry… Harry Potter."
"AVADA KEDAVRA"
All the common room heard was a dull thud on the upstairs floor.
I have known you my whole life
When you were ten, you said you'd make me your wife
Eight years later you won me over
Just as I took the world on my shoulders
I got used to living without you
Endless phone calls and dreaming about you
Always said that you were my man to be
But I guess I was in love with your memory
You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life
I know I said that I would keep my word
I wished that I could save you from the hurt
But things will never go back to how we were
I'm sorry I can't be your world
You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life (another life)
The way you're holding on to me
Makes me feel like I can't breathe
Just let me go, just let me go
It just won't feel right inside
God knows I've tried
You know I love you, you know I do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life, in another life
In another life ...
Based on 'In Another Life" by The Veronicas. Hope you liked it... Please review.